two faced cats

Who Broke it?
  • Joker: "So, who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know."
  • Harley: "I did! I broke it Mr. J!"
  • Joker: "No, no you didn't. Ed?"
  • Riddler: "Don't look at me. Look at Harvey!"
  • Two-Face: "What? I didn't break it."
  • Riddler: "Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?"
  • Two-Face: "Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken."
  • Riddler: "...suspicious."
  • Two-Face: "No it's not."
  • Scarecrow: "If it matters, probably not but, Selina was the last one to use it."
  • Cat Woman: "Lier! I don't even drink that crap!"
  • Scarecrow: "Oh really? What were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?"
  • Cat Woman: "I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, John!"
  • Harley: "Alright, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, puddin'."
  • Joker: "No! Who broke it?!"
  • ....
  • Two-Face: "Joker, Ivy's been awfully quiet-"
  • Ivy: "rEALLY?"
  • Two-Face: "Yes, really!"
  • Ivy: "Oh my god!"
  • *all fighting in the background*
  • Joker: "I broke it. It burnt my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here."
Naught Girl

Request: Maybe Jerome could have a thing for, or be in love with, Jim Gordon’s fiancé or girlfriend before he died?And she finds reawakened Jerome instead of Lee? ———————–

I stay still strapped to the spinning wheel. Barbara keeps her narrow eyes full of hatred on me. “Now stop Babs! What did I tell you? After this she’ll be mine and you can have Jimbo back all to yourself.” Jerome laughs and bats his eyelashes at me. He strides closer and brushes my hair away kissing my cheek.

I forcefully pull away and spit in his face. “Oh I can already tell we’re going to have so much fun.” He says and moves away blowing me a kiss and a wink.

His phone starts to ring and I can sense that it’s Jim. Jerome answers and laughs. “Oh please Jimbo. I haven’t hurt a hair on her pretty little head. Nor would I. She’s so beautiful. She likes it rough doesn’t she?” He laughs and hangs up.

Jerome comes over to me and smiles. “Let me go.” “Now why would I do that? You’ll just run away.” I gulp and sigh. Come on you can do this. I look back up at him with lidded eyes and small smile. “Please Jerome? I’ll give you something if you let me go. I won’t run.” Jerome smirks and looks me up and down. “And Jimbo?” I roll my eyes and laugh. “Gone. I’m yours Jerome. I need some thrill in my life. Please.” Jerome sighs and laughs. “Well since you asked nicely.”

Jerome unhooks me from the wheel and holds me in his arms. Why do I feel comfortable? I don’t need to feel comfort in the presence of a psychopath! I look up at him again and can’t help but notice how lovely his eyes are. So many stories and secrets kept in the two orbs embedded in his skull. He chuckles and leans down pressing a light kiss to my nose. “Made for each other my dear.”

I’m still lost in his eyes when chaos is continuing to consume the room. “HEY!” A voice calls and Jerome loses his grip on me and turns around… only to be stabbed in the neck by Theo Galavan.

Jerome drops to the floor blood gushing from his knife womb. I drop to my knees trying to help this man find comfort in his last moments. “Shh- I- it’s okay. You’ll be okay.” I stutter and with shaking hands I press his womb trying to stop the blood. Jerome grabs my wrist and kisses my hand. “In this life or another… mine. Made t-to be mine.” He struggles to speak in his last breath.

His eyes go still and his heart ceases to beat. A hand rests on my shoulder making me jump. I look up and see Jim. My Jim. We don’t speak. He just holds me. He holds me in his strong familiar arms, but I don’t find comfort in them as I did. Not the same comfort I had felt in the arms of Jerome Valeska.

In this life or another… mine. Made t-to be mine. In this life or another… mine. Made t-to be mine. In this life or another… mine. Made t-to be mine. In this life or another… mine. Made t-to be mine.

(Y/n). (Y/n)! Wake up!

I sit up and am held close by those familiar arms. “You alright? Having another nightmare?” “Uh. Yeah. A nightmare.” I say and rest my head back onto my pillow. No nightmare. A dream. A dream of the first time I met my real love. A love I’ll never get to experience.

Hours later when it was finally time to get up i dressed at my own pace and went to work. Once I walked in Jim immediately raced to me as if he hadn’t seen me in weeks. “Whoa! Where’s the fire?” I ask laughing. His expression doesn’t change. “Come with me.” He grabs my hand and leads me to the examination room where a body lies on the metal table covered by a sheet.

Jim stands at the door with a stillness face. “I didn’t want you to see him alone. I know it still bothers you.” I furrow my eyebrows and turn to the body again and lift the cover off. As my eyes travel the body my breathing stills and my hands go clammy. “Jerome.” I say and see his face has been sliced off. “Where’d you find him?” I ask touching his arm and trailing my fingers down his chest. “He’s freezing.” I note and continue to examine him.

“He’s been frozen. Some guy who were tracking now tried to bring him back to life. Runs some kind of cult in Jerome’s honor. Once he saw he failed he cut his face off and now wears it as a party mask.” I shake my head and look back at Jim. “Completely sick.” I say in disgust.

Jim kisses my forehead and lifts my chin up. “If anything bothers you come get me.” I nod and usher him out. I look over every part of the deceased and collect my needed information. Not much to get when he’s the one who’s guilty and no one cares what happens to his body. No one but me I guess.

“(Y/n) (l/n) you have a phone call. (Y/n) (l/n) phone call.” A voice says over the intercom. I sigh and throw my gloves into the trash and leave the room.

I answer the phone on the wall with tiredness clear in my voice. “Hello?” A laugh is heard on the other end. “Hey sweet cheeks. Miss me?” “Who is this?” “Ah who ya think doll? Jerome baby. I’m back.” I scoff and roll my eyes. “Right. I suppose this is the cult leader right? Wearing his face right now I bet.” The man stuffers trying to find words. “No! It’s me. The real me! I-I um.” “I have work to do.” I hang up the phone and return to my room.

I open the door and see an officer on the ground motionless. Suddenly a hand comes around and is placed over my mouth and a gun to my head. “Boo.” A voice speaks in my ear.

I’m turned around and pushed up against the table to see Jerome alive and well; his face all wrapped up. His hand is on my his holding me down and his other has the gun pointing at my face.

“Hey. Easy.” I say holding my hands up in surrender. The gun trails down my cheek and then to my chest and continues to my stomach. Jerome laughs and looks at me in the eyes.

“Oh darling you better tell me what’s going on.” He says lowly. I don’t complain. I don’t struggle and try to get away. I simply sit on top of the table and tell him his story with him standing between my legs.

He starts clapping and laughing lightly. “Wow. Now that is quite a story! Doesn’t it seem a little crazy to you? Ah what the hell! I’ll roll with it. Tell me more about this cult. They think I’m pretty great huh?” I roll my eyes and lean back on my hands. “They’re a bunch of raving lunatics and idiots.” Jerome grabs my hip and pulls me closer. “Lunatics and idiots? My kind of people!” He then hunches over and chokes a bit.

“Sorry. Head’s still a little fuzzy.” He looks up at me again and smiles. “I know you. Don’t I?” A wave of emotion wraps itself around me. Like a high. I’m light and warm. I smile and nod. “Yep.” “Hey. Did you and I ever…” he places the gun at his crotch and thrust forward. I laugh and trail my hand down to his gun that is still placed where his crotch is. I run my fingers over the barrel and scoot forward even more. “Nope. Died before we got to. Such a shame.”

Jerome brings his hand up around my throat. “Ahh I remember. You’re Jim Gordon’s little…Twinkie. Lucky lucky man Jimbo. How you two doing?” He asks pressing his body against me. “Weddings in a month.” Jerome laughs and throws his head back. “Ah naughty girl. What would daddy say?” I grind up against him and bite his neck. “Why don’t you tell me? Huh daddy?” Jerome laughs and stands me up on my feet. “Tell you what dollface. Meet me tonight. Little game of hide and seek. If you find me I’ll give you a little present, but you have to do everything I say. Do we have a deal sweetheart?” I giggle and bite my lip. “Yes daddy.”

You see the Riddler in the streets. You nod as you walk past, but he stops and stares. You stop too, turning to face him. You maintain eye contact. You blink; he’s gone, leaving just a puff of green smoke which disappears in seconds.

It is early in the morning (or late at night. You can not tell), and stick your head out of the window, feeling the wind on your skin and hearing the almost silent city quiet, little noises. A black cat runs past you, and you follow it with your head, smiling quietly. The cat returns after leaving for ten minutes (exact), and you place a bowl of milk on your window ledge. The cat eagerly drinks, and soon, there’s a woman standing over you. She nods, though her face remains emotionless. She leaves, and the cat is now gone too.

There’s a man in the bookstore; he’s the only other person in the aisle (and maybe the shop, if you don’t count the shopkeeper; speaking of them, where did they go?). You are meters away, not even that, and you both go to grab the same book; Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland. You do not remember wanting that book, or even reaching for it. You retrieve your hand, and the other man smiles an insane kind of grin, and you back away, though do not feel terrified like you should. He leaves first; you continue browsing as if nothing had happened.

A coin lands in front of you as you walk down the street, creating a small crack in the pavement. You look up to the sky; you see nothing. You look forward again, about to continue your journey, but another man is there. He is not who he was trying to imitate (he is not two-face). You ask for his name but he just grabs the coin, winks, and disappears (you do not know how. He was just gone. There is no explanation).

You walk into the butchers, hoping to buy some beef for your Sunday dinner. No one is at the counter and it is deadly silent; you decide to explore. You lift up the hatch, walking through into the back room. Carcases of pigs and sheep hang from the metal hooks, and you shiver from the cold. An icy figure is watching you, with glowing red eyes. You run away. He does not follow.

A crow perches on your shoulder. You have no idea where she came from but you continue with your day as if it is normal (by now, it is). She squarks, makes as much noise as her little body can, but you just turn your music up louder (since when did you listen to Taylor Swift?). The crow, the next time you check, is gone; you feel strangely empty. You are all alone, never to find a friend again. 

You visit a makeup salon. A man is there, face full of white (skin) and red (lips), with a side of green (hair), and he smiles, nods, g r i n s. He says something, his voice soothing and convincing; you don’t quite catch what he says, though don’t ask him to repeat himself. Instead, you frown, make yourself angry, turn away and run away. You do not know what caused this reaction. You forget about this encounter.

Pink and blue; pink and blue; pink and blue and PUDDING. One time, she is happy. One time, she is sad. She is unpredictable. Somehow, you are scared of her the most. She gives you a sweet (offers, really). You accept, gratefully, though do not eat. You throw it on the ground (in grass). A plant starts to grow. Ah. So a trick from her girlfriend (goddess).

The real ‘coin man’ is here (you can not say his name; he will find you). His face is missing, and now so is yours. Goodbye, face. You can no longer smile; you can no longer laugh; everything hurts but it is also painless. Goodbye, face.

The sewers smell bad today. You do not care, yet your neighbour does. He is now gone. He is now a crocodile. This is okay. This is normal. (Why do people still live in Gotham City?) 

A penguin (but a man) is here. His nose is pointy, but not. You have mixed feelings about him. He orders a scotch (you are not a bartender; you are now a bartender), and you rush to make one. You slide it across the bar; he takes small sips. He remains there hours, still on his first drink (still on his shot of scotch). “You wanna ‘nother?” You ask, and your voice is no longer your own (not your accent, not your way of speech. It is fine. It happens all the time recently). He does not nod or shake his head; he is emotionless (but full of little emotions). You give him a beer (or wine; you can not tell). It is gone, though no one touches it. You nod. He does not nod (yet, he does at the same time). You are gone. 

A lady (a goddess) dresses in green. She is in your room (or your garden; you can’t tell. All you know is that everything is ivy green). Her voice is powerful, perfect, and luring as she sings to the pink (not green, not green) flowers, which are growing faster and slower than you’ve ever seen. You, for some reason, pick a leaf of a plant. She turns; she glares. You feel a stabbing pain; you cry out. She does not disappear as (some) of the other did. She stands over you as you collapse to the floor. She is your demise. 

     You are dead.

         She is your demise.



I was going to do the @warriorsredux 100 warriors challenge but I stopped partway through like I do with anything I try and do that takes more than a day’s worth of motivation. Anyway, here is Bluestar and the apprentices of ThunderClan. I gave Sandpaw a teeny tiny bit of whitespotting, even though it isn’t listed in her description because a) Redtail has it, b) so that leafpaw and squirrelpaw can have white (even though their designs haven’t been confirmed at all yet) and more importantly c) i really like tiny bits of white on cats. look at her all snooty with a white speck on her chin. love it.

if you ever liked warrior cats you should read the warriors redux it is great