anonymous asked:

One year when I was 22 I wrote Santa for the first time in years. I told him I wanted to experience true joy. In that moment Santa came down my chimney and fucked me. With each thrust he said "ho". He told me he was about to cum down my chimney and then he emptied his load into my twitty twat. Months later I wrote him I was pregnant and that night he appeared behind me and pushed me down the stairs. Santa passes by my house every year now :(.

please stop i have a family

Girl Meets World “Girl Meets Texas: The Movie“

My first major GMW Video Edit. Please enjoy this one while you guys wait for “The Story of Lucaya“. Watch it if you still haven’t.


Watch (X)


Blue Eyes - Middle Brother
Cruise - Florida Georgia Line
Hello Darlin’ - Conway Twitty
Shut Up & Fish - Maddie & Tae
Think of You - Chris Young feat. Cassadee Pope
No Place Like You - Maddie & Tae
Heart Like Yours - Willamette Stone (from the “If I Stay” Soundtrack)
Start Again - Elena Tonra (from “The Age of Adaline” Soundtrack)
Your Love’s Like - Sabrina Carpenter
Skinny Love - Birdy
Never Like This - Danielle Bradbery


Tagged by my one and only @hthrloo.

1. What was the last movie you saw?

I watched The Dark Knight again the other night, after watching this video, analyzing why Heath Ledger’s Joker was such a deeply satisfying antagonist. This movie held up in a very real way, and makes so many of the other comic-book-based movies out there feel all the more empty.

2. What was the last song you listened to? 

“You’re the Reason Our Kids are Ugly” by Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty.

3. What was the last show you watched? 

Season 2/Episode 6 of Mr. Show – “The Velveteen Touch of a Dandy Fop.”

4. What was the last book you read?

This is really embarrassing. While I am in the middle of several books currently (Homage to Catalonia, The Course of Love, Mobile First, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), I can’t recall what the last book I finished was. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, maybe? This tells me I should spend less time on Twitter, getting righteously indignant, and more time with my nose in a book.

5. What was the last thing you ate?

Two slices of mediocre pizza, and a peperoncino.

6. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

Sitting across a kitchen table from H.

7. If you could pick a decade to travel to in time, which would it be? 

All past decades seem to be a mixed bag – certainly those I’ve lived through. I might want to travel 10 years into the future to witness all of the changes, both subtle and dramatic, that await us.  

8. If you won the lotto and millions of cash, what would be the first thing you’d buy?

I would buy myself some time. I would tell my current employers to go fuck themselves in whatever method they saw fit, pack up my belongings, move to Knoxville, buy myself and H a modest house, just large enough to accommodate our two cats and years of adult belongings, along with spaces she and I could hole up and work in on our own, and then set about finding work in Knoxville, knowing I wasn’t necessarily in a hurry. Hell, maybe I would even start my own business if that were the case.

9. What fictional character would you like to hang out with for a day?

I keep mulling over this question, and not coming up with any real answer. The fictional characters I always seem to love the most are fallible and inconsistent and moody, and there’s enough of that in real life to go around. Maybe someone unflappably positive like Lesley Knope? I’m still not sure.

10. What was the last fandom you joined?

I got on the Stranger Things bandwagon pretty easily, but I have to admit that I really don’t want a sequel with the original cast. I would love this to be an anthology, much like Amazing Stories, since the Duffer brothers seem eager to jock Spielberg so hard (and so well).