twitter-war

I understand that we don’t know half of what went down behind closed doors (ha !) but the fact that this was the first time Zayn actually PUBLICLY @-ed one of his ex bandmates and I dare to risk ex-best friends since his departure while chose to NOT jump in when NB bullied and called 1D fans a joke, and then decided to speak up now of all times and side with NB AND chose to use this tone in his one and only fucking tweet is some next level shitty behavior.

For One Direction fans, the first half of this year has been a particularly trying time. Zayn Malik, one of the band’s founding and most popular members, announced he was leaving the group to embark on a solo career, only a few weeks after he told fans that he was abandoning the tour because of stress.

And while the four remaining members—Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, and Liam Payne—are continuing their world tour and working on a fifth album, fans have been distracted by the group’s social media mud-slinging. It’s a unique part of being an enthusiastic pop music fan in 2015—not only are you watching your favorite band fall apart in real time, you’re being somewhat forced into publicly taking sides.

Post-breakup beefs that were previously confined to gossip reports and carefully controlled interviews are now regularly appearing on social media. And fans—who have helped build these pop stars’ careers on Twitter and Instagram—now feel obligated to weigh in on which side they think is “winning” with hashtags and retweets.

When Geri Halliwell left the Spice Girls in 1998, there was no social media to speak of. Her end with the band was marked by a flurry of U.K. tabloid reportsabout bad blood between the girls, but it was mostly just rumors. Years later, the Spice Girls joke about it on TV and say that none of it ever happened.

Now, however, bands (and fans) have to deal with very public battles in a very public forum. On Wednesday, One Direction member Tomlinson responded to a thinly veiled dig from Malik’s producer, Naughty Boy. Malik fired back with a cutting message.

Fans responded swiftly, backing Tomlinson and making #TOMLINSONSLAYSAGAIN the number one worldwide trending topic on Twitter.

Similarly, at the end of March, the hashtag “#SuspendNaughtyBoy” was gaining traction after the producer released a demo version of a track that he and Malik had made together.

Noel Gallagher, the former Oasis guitarist, recently called Malik an “idiot” for leaving One Direction. “It’s a strange thing for that lad to have done at that age,” he told Rolling Stone. “The greatest quote was—I laughed out loud when I read it—‘I just want to be a normal 22-year-old.’ Pfft. Who wants to be a normal 22-year-old?!”

While Gallagher certainly knows a thing or two about a public band breakup, it’s decidedly different for Malik. While he may never be able to be a “normal 22-year-old,” it’s also impossible for him to leave the most popular boy band without pissing off a few million followers.

1D signs new contract with Syco: three more years of drama...

Every day

Intrusive fans, Directioners and Larry shippers alike: ask intrusive questions and tweet rude things @1Dfamily&friends

Every one else: Please stop doing that!

Boys: overworked

Me: I hate my job but rather that than be overworked I guess, at least I have time to waste on Tumblr. 

Every week

Gossip rags: Harry Styles + random blonde!

Lisa McGarry: Eleanor is a pretty student!!! (who also has a straight boyfriend) (((his name is Louis))) (((((((maaaaaaybe you know him)))))))

Every month

Insecure Larry shippers: OMG I don’t think they are together anymore

Harry on twitter: dick, balls, penises, queer, ‘sausage’, cock, real eyes realize real lies

Sugarscape: Supersuggestive head-, tag- and punchlines about Louis and/or Harry

Every few months

Gossip rags: Harry Styles + mystery blonde (who is actually Gemma or Lou)!!!

The Wanted: We hate 1D, and Louis in particular

Louis: Fuck The Wanted. I am sassier than you. 

The Wanted Dog: Louis is gaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy

Gossip mags: The Wanted v 1D twitter war! Whose side are you on? [let’s never ever mention the g-word!]

Me: Let’s see what happened in Europolitics. At least their Twitter wars are not always the same. And the reporting is better. 

Every September

Random Larry shipper: tweets random Larry tweet

Tomlinson family and friends: tell random Larry shipper off 

Eleanor: OMG feel sorry for me

Louis:… 

Lisa McGarry: OOOMMMGGG!!! Feel sorry for Eleanor the pretty student!!! Hate the crazy Larry shippers (because Eleanor’s boyfriend is straihaight!)!!!

Harry: Suggestive love song lyrics

Louis:…

Gossip rags: Here is Harry with a new random blonde!!!!

Ace: No way man, Harry love Louis, uhm, sorry, I meant “Boybander loves his bandmate. Very much. They are sooooo totally gay for eachother. Forever and ever." 

Louis: … (but looks grrreeaaattt halfnaked)

Me: hmmmmmmm, let’s forget about Europolitics for the night

Every October/November

Modest!: Harry, here is your new fake girlfriend

Gossip mags: Maybe Harry has found "the one”

Ace: No, he hasn’t. Man, when are you peeps gonna get it?

Every December

Simon Cowell: $$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every January

Gossip mags: Harry is available again! And just before Valentine’s

Directioners: Maybe this year is my year???!!!

Ace: I called it!

Me: Man, when are we gonna have another Twitter war in Europolitics?