1D signs new contract with Syco: three more years of drama...
Intrusive fans, Directioners and Larry shippers alike: ask intrusive questions and tweet rude things @1Dfamily&friends
Every one else: Please stop doing that!
Me: I hate my job but rather that than be overworked I guess, at least I have time to waste on Tumblr.
Gossip rags: Harry Styles + random blonde!
Lisa McGarry: Eleanor is a pretty student!!! (who also has a straight boyfriend) (((his name is Louis))) (((((((maaaaaaybe you know him)))))))
Insecure Larry shippers: OMG I don’t think they are together anymore
Harry on twitter: dick, balls, penises, queer, ‘sausage’, cock, real eyes realize real lies
Sugarscape: Supersuggestive head-, tag- and punchlines about Louis and/or Harry
Every few months
Gossip rags: Harry Styles + mystery blonde (who is actually Gemma or Lou)!!!
The Wanted: We hate 1D, and Louis in particular
Louis: Fuck The Wanted. I am sassier than you.
The Wanted Dog: Louis is gaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy
Gossip mags: The Wanted v 1D twitter war! Whose side are you on? [let’s never ever mention the g-word!]
Me: Let’s see what happened in Europolitics. At least their Twitter wars are not always the same. And the reporting is better.
Random Larry shipper: tweets random Larry tweet
Tomlinson family and friends: tell random Larry shipper off
Eleanor: OMG feel sorry for me
Lisa McGarry: OOOMMMGGG!!! Feel sorry for Eleanor the pretty student!!! Hate the crazy Larry shippers (because Eleanor’s boyfriend is straihaight!)!!!
Harry: Suggestive love song lyrics
Gossip rags: Here is Harry with a new random blonde!!!!
Ace: No way man, Harry love Louis, uhm, sorry, I meant “Boybander loves his bandmate. Very much. They are sooooo totally gay for eachother. Forever and ever."
Louis: … (but looks grrreeaaattt halfnaked)
Me: hmmmmmmm, let’s forget about Europolitics for the night
Modest!: Harry, here is your new fake girlfriend
Gossip mags: Maybe Harry has found "the one”
Ace: No, he hasn’t. Man, when are you peeps gonna get it?
Simon Cowell: $$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gossip mags: Harry is available again! And just before Valentine’s
Directioners: Maybe this year is my year???!!!
Ace: I called it!
Me: Man, when are we gonna have another Twitter war in Europolitics?