It’s becoming common knowledge that when new BLU J arises, we’re to expect something phenomenal. The electronic project, based right here in my beloved San Francisco, follows up on Hallucinating, last month’s popular collaboration with both INDIGINIS and Molly Moore, with a crisp elastic, sexy banging play on Ariana Grande’s Into You. The temperature rises as this lascivious deep future house twist steams us up and prompts us to move our hips. Download BLU J’s IN 2 U from Tonden.
Meta on how the closest individual relationships to Rabastan shape him as a person.
Oh man, ok. This list is an incredibly short one but this is. Intense. So hold on to your hats XD Also I’m leaving off his parents since I got another ask about them specifically, but they tie in to his development very heavily. Just for general information, Isabel and Rafael shaped the development of his phobia which affects literally everything the rest of his life. They made it infinitely worse (largely without intending to) and that changed his relationship with everyone else he ever met. His father was also the first person to call him a monster and though he never admits it, that stuck with him also.
Ok so, those two aside let’s start with the number one biggest game changer — Rodolphus (specific to Rab’s relationship and my HCs with @sanctitudinis). They’re only a year apart in age and their talents and abilities, while in different areas, are largely equal. They are so intertwined that they, at least imo, feel more like twins or even two halves of the same person. Rod is his soul mate, platonic or otherwise (and I know all of you think they’re fucking but honestly even Cat and I don’t know if their love is romantic, it literally changes nothing and the fuckers won’t tell us). He is more devoted to Rodolphus than to anyone, even Bella (though she is Rod’s equal in Rab’s eyes in every way, but that he’s known his brother longer gives him less than a hair’s width’s advantage - it never comes up and never matters but it’s there). Rodolphus has always been able to touch him whenever and however he pleased and he is the only person for which this is true. Rabastan can learn eventually to be comfortable with others, but Rodolphus did not have to wait - it was fine from the get go. This and Rabastan’s isolation from the outside world (again re: Isabel and Rafael on that) made him unequally dependent on his brother and the affection he provides. Rodolphus also spoils him like no one’s business. He indulges Rabastan and caters to every whim he can. He encourages most (though it should be noted not all) of his bad habits and it only makes things worse. It is my firm belief that had Rabastan been raised in another family, and most especially away from Rodolphus, he stood a very solid chance of turning out to be a good person despite his natural inclinations to the contrary. It’s his devotion to Rod and Rod’s devotion to Voldemort that seals his doom more than anything he ever did on his own. So frankly, that’s half of Rabastan’s personality and development right fucking there. Good job, Rod.
Next is Bellatrix (specifically @archfiendish), who is also a huge contender for the greatest influence.She and Rod really work as a team here to shield Rabastan from any consequences of his actions (though in general he really doesn’t need them, but they are incredibly protective of him, as they all are of each other). The three of them comprise a single unit, frankly, as they function best as a triumvirate. Though they share no (direct) blood relation, she is his sister and anyone who suggests otherwise will learn very quickly to get that thought out of their heads. He worships the ground she walks on tbh, he really does. He and Rod are both saps for her. Rabastan would do literally anything for either one of them, and while that’s always been true with Rod, I think his determination to do so increases significantly once Bella enters the equation. She completes them and rounds them off in a way no one else could. She belongs with them, in his opinion, and it only twists him further. She is again a very enabling influence and combined with Rodolphus she influences Rabastan to fanaticism, not about Voldemort but about herself and her husband. He literally loves them so much and is so wholly devoted that it, imo, drives him mad in its own way before he ever sets foot in Azkaban. He would cut off his own foot and eat it if either of them asked him to and wouldn’t even ask why. And that, my dears, is a problem. They are the ones who never leave him, who never raise a hand or voice to him, who love him without bounds and they are the only ones to ever do so, so his insane devotion isn’t quite so insane as it probably sounds. He needs them and their influence on him shapes who he is very greatly.
Then there’s Eunice, who I would argue is just as big an influence on him as either of his siblings. He had trust issues before with the shit with his mother and father, but abandonment didn’t come until her. (She’s the Ravenclaw girlfriend I mention a lot, for those reading this that don’t know, and an NPC). Their relationship is fucked as all hell (even more so than I realized until today) and I won’t get in to it too much, but her botched suicide attempt scarred him very very badly. He doesn’t admit it. He literally never talks about it. He lied to Rodolphus on several occasions about it and about her and that is the worst thing he could think to do, but that’s the level of trauma we’re talking about. Even more than their abusive relationship and her subsequent abandonment, their relationship brought out in him a fear he had never known he had before and that never leaves him til his dying day (even worse than his fear of human touch, as he gets over that largely post-Azkaban where nothing much bothers him). When he found her after she’d poisoned herself, he did not cry. He didn’t lose control, he just stood there and stared at her and it upset him more, even, than what she’d done. And don’t get me wrong, he was devastated to lose her. He loved her the only way he knows how - deeply - but his sociopathy prevented him from having the sort of sympathetic reaction that was expected of a normal person and only drove home again the idea that he was defective. He felt no guilt (again because he could not) and it made him believe perhaps he did not love her as he thought he did. It had been a consuming kind of love (and keep in mind what that tends to mean at fifteen, it’s intense as fuck, as all things are at that age) and so when he feels nothing that he is meant to, he fears more than he can express that he is incapable of love. He thinks he loves Rod and Bella even more than he loved Eunice (and he does), but if he was wrong about her, he’s sure he could also be wrong about them and nothing, in his opinion, would be more horrific. So not only does she turn him off from relationships in the future, the idea of marriage (cause he thought about it before), and gave him a deep physical scar, a deep emotional scar, and a fear of abandonment he never shakes, but she also rattled the foundation of who he is as a person, because his love and devotion to his siblings literally comes to define him during the war. So Eunice is perhaps the pivotal person in his development which is why, despite her being an NPC, I can never write her out of his story.
Then there’s Andromeda (aka you) who makes his fears so much worse. They were friends long before Eunice and Bellatrix and he had assumed they would be long after. She accepted him as a murderer and a bad, violent person and she loved him anyway but she never tried to force him to do more than he was physically capable of or comfortable with. He thought she was going to be in his life forever. But then, as we all know, she decided to marry Ted and she didn’t even tell him (and on one level he doesn’t blame her, but on the other that in and of itself was a betrayal, leaving him to find out through the grapevine instead of from his best friend). He never asked for an explanation and she never gave one, though that might have been different if he’d heard it from her. He took this even harder than Eunice’s botched suicide attempt, tbh, to the point that he pushes it so far back in his mind that sometimes he forgets they were once closer than he and Bella (and during his last year of school, closer than him and Rod when he and his brother were separated). He relied on her emotionally and when she left, it was like having a vital organ ripped out of him. He never spoke of her again, which is how he tends to deal with trauma. But he never stopped loving her. He couldn’t and it tested his loyalties once during the war. That, in turn, made him more vicious and brutal the rest of the war so he could prove, if only to himself, that his devotion to his siblings’ war would never falter. He never admits he allowed her to live the one time their paths crossed after she was disowned, but it stays with him the rest of his life. If she had stayed, he might have been a more emotionally stable and far less drug-dependent person. His coping mechanisms were flimsy at best before, and after he was nothing sort of a time bomb.
Lastly there is, naturally, Voldemort, without whom most of this would not have happened the way that it did. He led Rod and Bella in to war and Rabastan would follow them gladly through the fires of hell. His insane quest to become immortal and the most powerful wizard of all time changed the course of Rabastan’s future forever despite the fact that Rab couldn’t give less of a fuck about the man or his ambitions himself.
As you can seem, my copy of Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo ( @lbardugo ) arrived - the first book in this series, Six of Crows - which I reviewed here - was phenomenal. I could NOT put it down. So I’m sooooo excited about this new book, and isn’t it gorgeous? Look at those BEAUTIFUL crimson pages, and that cover? Save me.
And because I pre-ordered I also got a book plate for the inside and a pretty little dice game (inside the little pouch).
That second book is not new, but As Old As Time by Liz Braswell is part of Disney’s “Twisted Tales” series. Each book in the series is a play on an existent Disney movie, and supposedly they’re quite good. I couldn’t resist buying the Beauty and the Beast on, of course! (I’m sure @msfehrwight will understand my compusion. xD )
AND LITTLE JARETH ARRIVED! Isn’t he cute!? Somehow I forgot that this year is Labyrinth’s 30th anniversary. A big thanks to @linotte-melodieuse for posting Labyrinth related things the other day and reminding me! I’ve got little Jareth, little Sarah’s on the way, and I’ve pre-ordered two art books coming out next month and November so stay tuned!
After making there way to the airport Calea exited from the car allowing TJ security to grab her luggage while she held her phone and Balenciaga bag on her forearm. Smiling widely as she spotted Christian and Marq’s mother she embraced them warmly before leaning against the hood of Marq’s car. They all stood around against the cars as they did before every flight waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive. Hugging Faith and Lil’ Kim she smiled and kissed their cheeks talking to them briefly before watching Marq coming to lean next to her, Christian giving him a thumbs up as if she wasn’t paying attention. ❛ So Christian asked me to personally design you and his jerseys. I have the sketches and I can always draw some new ones since I have you guys here. ❜ @mxrquezpxpi