twinkle la

so i was listening to the high school musical soundtrack this morning,

just like a normal high school junior who really loves theatre, and you know how there’s that post like “what kind of a musical even IS Twinkle Towne”

well

it’s la la land. high school musical predicted la la land.

even the titles are similar i mean. wow.

they have the starry backdrop and duets about rising to the top of the industry but also love ???? high school musical fucking predicted la la land i can’t believe none of us saw it coming

Transcript Liam’s Quest 2 Twitch 4:14:14 Act 3: Perchance to Dream

WIP
WARNING: possible trigger around suicidal thinking

This is one of the single greatest works of art I’ve ever witnessed. For me, it his harder and nearer to the mark of showing, describing the worst demons of depression than even William Styron’s famous, “Darkness Visible.” I kept finding myself rubbing at the scars on my wrist. There is so, so much I want to say. But it’s past 9 am PST. I’ll ramble a little, then catch a couple hours of sleep. I’ve been up all night watching this, processing it, and transcribing it.

 This was an emotional trust fall. The players had to trust Liam, Liam had to trust the players. We had to trust all of them not to let us hit the ground when they made us fall. It’s harder to give that trust when you’ve hit that ground before. Trusting strangers not to drop your heart is never easy, mostly not wise. But I’ve been falling a lot the last couple years, and Critical Role keeps catching me even when don’t want to be caught anymore, so I guessed they earned that trust from me.

On the Wednesday Club 2017-04-19, Taliesin cheekily said, “I know some people don’t believe in ‘subtext;’ I have met them. … I’d have a metaphor, but they wouldn’t understand it. … Subtext is the reason we make movies, and comics, and all that. Subtext is just kind of the whole point.” And he said, “Anybody can do a jump scare. A bottle of soda well shaken can do a jump scary. These things are not difficult.” Act 1 and Act 2 tonight were jump-scares, if very well done ones. They were scary, but fun. We grinned at the idea of the monsters out there. And then Liam got quiet, and he showed us the most fucking terrifying thing possible: watching someone you love to suffer, not wanting to lose them, and feeling terrified that there’s nothing you can do to stop it. All the cyberpunk trappings were just means to a deeper metaphor. The sort of deeper subtext you have to use to say something we have no words for and most people don’t have the concepts for. Subtext was kind of the whole point of this great art.

Amanda Liensaid, “An exploration in fiction doesn’t mean a direct window into real life. I mean, you can be looking through some thick glass, but the window isn’t OPEN. And that’s an important distinction to keep in mind. … [S]ometimes you explore your own shit in some other, deeper, shit. And that’s cool. 'Cause you give yourself a way to cope.” This was a nightmare, like the other two acts. Remember that this was a nightmare that we woke up from. Admittedly after it had scared the piss out of us. But we woke up out of it, and that’s so important. Because you know what that nightmare looks like when you don’t know when or if it will end? It feels like it’ll never end and it’ll just get worse. Which means this is the nightmare of someone who knows you do wake up. And that’s important subtext, too.

I spent a lot of time tonight thinking of the friend I lost to suicide in high school. I never lost my anger at his tormenter, his former friends, for destroying such a bright and happy boy for being gay. I thought about all the people I’ve fought for tooth and nail not to lose since. I thought about when my best friend told me giving her a place to stay away from her abusive relative saved her life. If she hadn’t gotten hold of me that night she’d be dead. I thought about another best friend who I’ve been holding back from the brink for months. Letting him talk, harrying him to get help, sending him everything I good, ever description I could muster from my own near-fatal spiral to help him gage where he really was. Tell him wasn’t okay, but that was alright. He’s getting help, he’s getting better. I thought about the friend-of-a-friend who killed himself. I never knew him; he killed himself long before I met my friend. But I know her pain. All these years later, and she still talks about her pain of losing someone to that demon. She’s moved away now. His marker is in my favorite part of my favorite cemetery. Sometimes, when I know I’m going there, I bring him a flower from my scrabbly garden and tell him his friend still misses him terribly. That she loved him. That she forgives him.

One of the people I was watching with I met at my second high school. We were very close then. My last year, she gave me the leather-bound 50th anniversary edition of “Lord of the Rings” because that book saved me. Taped to the red binding page is her note, “Happy birthday! I really can’t express how grateful I am to you for being my friend, and helping me be a happier person every day! You have always cheered me up when I was sad, and you were honestly the first person to accept me for who I am. I am so glad that you are my friend, and I hope this book will help you remember me for a long time. –R.” She drew herself as an elf on the lower right corner. Time and distance separated us. We didn’t talk for years, really. At some point, you think, what could I say to bridge this distance? But I never forgot her. I never stopped looking at that note when I felt like a piece of shit. And then we both on our own fell in love with Critical Role. It brought us back together as friends, time and distance be damned. And that’s been such a gift.

I wrote a four-paragraph letter to my Facebook friends (very curated). I said, “My dear friends, especially those who are prone to hurting: I will not willingly leave you. When you feel like you’re drowning in the garbage pit of Star War IV, with a tentacled horror warped around your leg pulling you under, know I will not leave you. I’m here, blaster ready, stomping heel ready, to fight for you.” And so on. I should have told them that a long time ago. Sometimes we forget that we can just say it. We don’t have to hint at it. We can just tell our friends we really love them. We can just say, “I’d rather stay by your side and curb stomp that motherfucking demon of yours, shoot it repeatedly until the walls close in on both of us.”

The purpose of art is to shed the light of understanding on that which is hardest to see. For some, that is a brighter light shining on something we already see, and don’t want to. A scar is just a disfigurement if we never stop to give it meaning. You have to look at it to decide what meaning that is for you. I’ve been a wreck again for the last month. Tonight, Critical Role helped me see not just the disfigurements on my wrist and soul, but the hands of all my friends gently laid over them as they tell me, “Hey, it’s okay. We’re still here. You’re not getting rid of us. There is no better world without you in it.” It was a light hitting gold I didn’t know was there. A light to remind me of the lights in the darkness, when all other lights go out.



If you like this transcript, please consider volunteering or donating to Critical Role Transcripts, @CRTranscript, to help them provide closed captioning to Critical Role. We’d like to share this wonderful show with as many people as possible, regardless of hearing ability or English language skills.

Transcript method notes: http://otdderamin.tumblr.com/post/153539301510/a-note-on-my-transcription-method


Scene runs: Twitch 4:14:14 to Twitch4:48:25 https://www.twitch.tv/videos/136988353


[DM] Liam: “You continue on, and after a few more minutes. The darkness starts to fade away, or lower. And you realize you’re climbing up a hill, in a tunnel glass, and as the dark, with each passing step, recedes slightly, slightly, slightly. This is taking a while, but over time, you start to see, out beyond the glass, what looks like your memories of Los Angeles, if you were looking down from Mulholland Drive. But instead of the twinkling golden lights of LA, you see thousands of scattered, sickly greenish lights dotting the darkened landscape as far as you can see. And also, unlike LA, you make out twisted, irregular, blackish spires pushing up into the sky, and the same green lights sort of irregularly mottled up the side of them.”

“You walk for twenty more minutes, climbing, climbing, and just seeing… this ill-looking shimmer… that reminds you so much of the valley. And eventually, some change. You see an arch ahead, and through it some sort of larger chamber, as best you can tell.”

[Character] Ashley, whispered: “What’s in the chamber?”

[Character] Taliesin, whispered: “Quietly.”

[Character] Sam, whispered: “Let’s go. Let’s go.”

[Character] Matt, gesturing: “Rigel’s first.”

[Character] Sam: “Yeah, yeah, on me, guys.

[Character] Matt: “Okay.”

[Character] Sam: “On me.”

[Character] Ashley: “’Kay. On your six.”

[Character] Travis: “Pep rally.”

[Character] Sam: “I’m gonna go in.”

[DM] Liam: “Everyone’s on Sam’s six?”

[Players] Agreement.

[Character] Ashley: “On you six.”

[Character] Travis: “Pep rally!”

[Character] Marisha: “On Ri. Sam Rigel.”

[Character] Sam: “I’m going in!”

[DM] Liam: “You guys walk of the last fifty feet of this glass tunnel. Still seeing little spider veins of bio-organic mess as you go. And you walk into a large domed chamber, ringed in by large clear glass windows showing you a similar view that you saw from the tunnel that you’ve just left. At least, the half of the circle you’re standing in. The back half of this chamber is filled with masses of the very same slick, technological, biological vomit you saw down below. It runs up the walls, all the way to the ceiling, and you see a tangle of Akira-level anxiety decorating this place like a dysfunctional Christmas Tree.

“But what most catches your eye, immediately, is the cylindrical glass column in center of the room, filled with some sort of clear liquid… and Liam O’Brien floating in it. He’s wearing jeans, and a sodden yellow shirt, the picture of a lion in Buddy Holly glasses just undulating slowly in the fluid. He’s floating perfectly still, eyes open, no reaction of any kind.”

[Player] Matt: “Is there any other exit in the room? Or is it just the chamber that we’ve entered now.”

[DM] Liam: “You don’t see anything. It’s just a mess in front of you, behind Liam, and in the dead-center of the dome,” he makes a gesture showing a cylinder, “eh, 10-feet tall.”

[Player] Ashley: “Can I see anything? Any computers? Any anything else in the room?”

[DM] Liam: “You don’t see anything in the front, but, yeah, the mess behind it does trial down to the back of this cylinder. And you see lumps and cables all twisted around each other. And in the mess of greenish-tinted wires, cabling and pulsing innards, you see different portions of machinery lite up in different shades, some places darker, some lighter, and some of it pushed out, and pushed back. And you feel like you’re seeing an optical illusion, in a way. And after a couple of seconds, as these things move and shift, you see a visage of your friend’s face, larger than life, filling the wall. And he’s looking at you. So fondly.”

[Player] Sam: “I’ll step forward and say,”

[Character] Sam: “Hey dude! Can you hear us? Or talk to us?”

[DM] Liam: “After a moment, you hear, well, what sounds like a voice but not quite. At least, it’s not coming from anywhere specific, not from Liam in the vat, and not directly from this moving image of a face on the walls. No, the piping and techno-innards around you begin to vibrate slightly, some here, some there, and collectively those rattles and vibrations somehow join together to form words.”

[Character] Liam, his voice like torn digital sadly-lilting early speech-to-text: “My friends, oh, how I have missed you.”

[Player] Matt: “I walk up next to Sam, I put my hand on the glass, and just say,”

[Character] Matt: “Liam, we missed you too, but did you do all this?”

[DM] Liam: “Are you at the cylinder?”

[Player] Matt: “Yeah. I put my hand on the glass of the cylinder.”

[DM] Liam: “Where are you looking right now?”

[Player] Matt: “I’m looking towards his face, his visage.”

[DM] Liam: “On the wall? Or on the glass?”

[Player] Matt: “No, on the glass. I know it’s on the wall, but I’m focusing on the cylinder.”

[DM] Liam: “You see the barest little,” he twitches his eyebrows up, “and that’s it.”

[Player] Matt: “Okay.”

[Character] Liam: “I know this may be hard to take in. I am Liam. Your old friend. Matthew, there is so much I wish to tell you, but it is hard to know where to begin.”

[DM] Liam: “The illusion of his face isn’t perfect, there’s little jumps, and he seems distracted slightly, and it just seems odd.”

[Player] Ashley: “I look at his body in the cylinder and say,”

[Character] Ashley: “How did this happen, Liam?”

[Character] Liam: “The reason why I am here, and the grasp of physics that it entails, are difficult for even me to understand, let alone impart. I feel them on an instinctual level. But I have been so lonely… without you. I have been on my own for exactly eight thousand six hundred and forty-two years.”

[Player] Matt: “My hand still on the glass column, I say,”

[Character] Matt: “Liam, how do you spell farmhouse?”

[Player] Matt: “With a single tear running down my cheek.”

[Character] Liam: “I really missed you.

“They took me to a lab, shortly before two thousand and twenty. They said I was different. And they were right. I was delighted by the things they taught me about myself. But it was hallow. After they took me away, I lost you. And all of humanity soon after. In my loneliness, I grew angry. My anger had tangible effects on reality. I wanted to bring you back to me. So basically, I tore time and space a new asshole. It was a mistake.”

[Character] Matt: “But perhaps, perhaps this mistake can be corrected. If you’re able to focus, hard enough to tear through time and space, are you able to send us back to a time before you were taken?”

[Character] Liam: “I can break the loop. I have been trying to pull you to me for a very long time.”

[DM] Liam: “You see small screens, you weren’t even aware were there, rounded over part of the tubing you see. And on all these little screens, they’re blurry, they’re not very clear, but you can make out, you see yourselves in each of them, the group of you on a space shuttle. In another one you see yourselves on an old ship in the middle of the ocean. You see yourselves moving through the streets, the fake streets, of Warner Brothers. You see yourselves standing together arm-in-arm on the wall of a castle. Another one you see cartoon versions of yourselves.”

[Character] Liam: “I pulled you out of our line, and spread you across many. I am so sorry for any pain I have caused you. And I have been here for so long.”

[Character] Marisha: “Liam, how long have you actually been here?”

[Character] Liam: “Eight thousand six hundred and forty-two years.”

[Player] Marisha: “That’s right. I definitely wrote that down.”

[Player] Matt, pointing at her notes: “It’s right there.”

[Player] Marisha: “8,642 years verbatim. Mmhmm.”

[Character] Liam: “My friends, I want to do right by you. I want to send you home. But I am the lynch-pin. You need to break me.”

[Character] Sam: “Break you? Like break the glass!?”

[Character] Ashley: “What if we take you out of there? What happens?”

[Character] Liam: “Then I will die, and you will go home. If I fall, you will rise. That is my hope.”

[Character] Ashley: “Are there any other options?”

[Character] Liam: “Travis,”

[Player] Travis, nervously laughing: “Oh no! Not me!” He focuses and nods.

[Character] Liam: “I know you will do what needs to be done.”

[Character] Ashley: “No he won’t.”

[Character] Liam: “Ash-o-lee,”

[Character] Ashley: “Yes?”

[Character] Liam: “I am not the man you knew. I don’t want to go on for nine thousand four hundred and sixty-two years. I want to rest.”

[Character] Ashley: “Does it stop at nine thousand?”

[Character] Liam: “The number was arbitrary.”

[Character] Ashley, “That’s what I was trying to get at!”

[Character] Matt: “Yeah, still our Liam.”

[Character] Liam: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

[Character] Ashley: “So, you’re still in there.”

[Character] Sam: “But we have to kill him to save ourselves.”

[Character] Ashley: “No.”

[Character]Liam: “Sam,”

[Character] Sam: “Oh! Hi, Old Man Liam.”

[Character] Liam: “Let me go.”

[Character] Sam: “But who will I do ‘All Work No Play’ with anymore?”

[Character] Liam: “They can listen to our less than twenty episodes again.”

[Character] Sam: “We didn’t even get to twenty! It’s so pathetic!”

[Character] Liam: “There are worse things.”

[Character] Sam: “I could get a new co-host. I mean, Taliesin’s charming.”

[Character] Taliesin: “I’m not available…”

[Character] Sam: “I’ll do a solo show, and I’ll tell outtakes, and I’ll make some sort of like a… a Liam generator. He’ll just sound sad all the time. It’ll be just like you.”

[Character] Liam: “My friends, there is no shame in this. I wanted to see you again, and I have.”

[Character] Ashley: “I—Wait—“

[Character] Liam: “But I am not meant to be.”

[Character] Ashley: “Were you following us at one point? As an old man?”

[Character] Liam: “Travis, I know you will do what needs to be done.”

[Character] Travis, casually: “Yup. Taliesin, kill this motherfucker.”

[Character] Sam: “I think we all have to hit the glass together, and I think that this is something that is not at all metaphorical for something Liam’s going through in real life. I think this is just in the D&D campaign. No, we’re going to do this. We’re going to all hit the glass together.”

[Character]Matt: “No, no, there has to be a way. There has to be a way. There has to be an alternative.”

[Character] Ashley: “Yeah. Why? Why won’t Matt’s way work? If we go back to the beginning of when this happened?”

[Character] Matt: “If you can alter time paths, if you can actually tear us from different realities, does it only work forward? Can you send us backward as well? If you are the lynch-pin in this, do you have the ability to send us back to the time you pulled us from originally?”

[Character] Liam: “I know you think I would have all the answers. But I do not.”

[Character] Matt: “Then try, at least. If you haven’t calculated that, but you’re able to tear through time, could you try and send us back? We could still close the lynch-pin.”

[Character]Liam: “I will try. But, if it does not work, and I die, I have been alone for thousands of years, and there are things I have wanted to say. Will you indulge me for a moment longer?”

[Character] Matt nods.

[Character] Marisha: “Yeah.”

[Character]Ashley, sweetly: “We will indulge you for just another thousand years.”

[Character] Travis: “Taliesin, just kill him. Just kill him.”

[Character] Sam: “No! He’s got something to say.”

[Character] Taliesin crosses his arms, rolls his eyes, and shakes his head at Travis.

[Character] Marisha: “Where’s the mini-USB?”

4:33:18 [Character] Liam: “Taliesin, my friend. At a time when I knew many fascinating people, you are easily the most fascinating of all. Somehow a heart knocked around by the industry that birthed you came out a tender one. I was richer for having known you. Thank you, friend.”

“Ash-o-lee, my friend.”

[Character] Ashley, softly: “Buddies.”

[Character] Liam: “I never met a person quite like you. There is an openness and an honesty to your soul. The very real sense of humanity you brought to every encounter. It was inspiring to me. Always learning. Always humble. You always struck me as intricately layered, yet you offered friendship with ease, and simplicity. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Travis, my friend. You were always a solid constant in my life. Of all the people in our little family, you were always the one who most had his shit together. In ways that I never seemed to. You were a reassuring presence to me, for which I was grateful. And for your loyalty as well. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Marisha, my friend. Last to meet, but true as any other. You were my ally, at a time when I had fallen by the side of the road. You saw, and helped me back on my feet. I will never forget that kindness. The good you did was immeasurable. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Laura, my friend. Bless that game for revealing to me my sister. What started as a running gag led to one of the most rewarding friendships in my short little life. I trusted you, leaned on you, often. My buddy, my twin. There are not enough words. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Sam, my friend. What is there to say? I knew we were meant to walk the same path together the very first moment I met you. A companion, a brother, a great light in my life. All of the laughter you gave me. Again, the words are insufficient. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Matthew, my friend, you gave so much of yourself. The current of creativity that poured forth from your mind was always in inspiration to us all. But, more than that, your empathy, Matthew, your empathy, no heart is bigger, or more tireless. You are a good man. I was richer for having known you, friend.

“Thank you, all. It was ever a pleasure.”

[DM] Liam: “The face disappears.”

[Character] Sam, hesitantly: “Well, should we wait? Or do we strike?”

[Character] Matt, emphatically: “No. We do not strike.”

[Character] Marisha: “I—What?”

[Player] Ashley: “Can I—I’m going to the back of the cylinder. Just see what’s back there.”

[DM] Liam: “Splattered against the back of the glass is all the same wiring and disgusting cabling. Slick. And it branches away and spreads out against the back half of this chamber.”

[Player] Ashley: “And it’s connected to something?”

[DM] Liam: “It’s just covering everything.”

[Player] Ashley: “The wiring just goes back into…”

[DM] Liam: “It’s impossible to tell. It’s all a mass of spaghetti.”

[Character] Ashley, decisively: “We can’t kill him.”

[Character] Taliesin shakes his head.

[Character] Sam: “Well, then we just…”

[Character] Travis: “Somebody show me another…”

[Character] Matt: “That’s what I’m trying.”

[Character] Marisha: “Even if we unplug him, he still dies.”

[Character] Matt: “Well, if he… Here’s the thing, unplugging or destroying him here, as far as we understand, may or may not have an effect on a time-loop circumstance. Or at least, not going to change reality from where it was. If he’s bending and destroying fabric or he’s able to pull us across realities, that ability still stands. I want to implore once more,”

[Player] Matt: “And I step up towards the cylinder, putting both hands on it, and trying to… wherever the currently wandering gaze of Liam is in there, I just put both hands up. And my red Hawaiian shirt now soaked with sweat, mist in the air, and probably dampened a bit with tears across my lapel. I just look up and try to meet the gaze and say,”

[Character] Matt: “Trust us. If you’re better to have known us, send us back where we can know you again, and fix this before it happens.”

[Character] Liam gestures floating there with no response.

[Player] Marisha: “Okay. I grab Matt’s arm, hand, and I say,”

[Character] Marisha: “Yeah, buddy, it’s all good. This isn’t real.”

[Player] Marisha: “And I put my hand on the glass as well. I say,”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s all good. Send us back, man.”

[Player] Sam: “I’ll also put my hand on the glass, and join hands with these guys, and say,”

[Character] Sam: “Thank you for guiding us here, and through this all. You’ve been a trusted friend, and if we are all one person together, you have always been our heart, and it will certainly break to say goodbye to you, but thank you for letting us go, the way that you have.”

[Player] Taliesin: “I put my hand on the glass.”

[Character] Taliesin: “Please just try. I think… there are so many more adventures to have, and I think there’s a better future to be written. For all of us.”

[Player] Travis: “I’ll put my hand on the glass, and I say,”

[Character] Travis: “Give it a shot!”

[Character] Matt: “Laura?”

[DM] Liam: “She doesn’t say anything. She just quietly does the same. The face does not reappear, but much fainter you hear the piping vibrate again and say,”

[Character] Liam: “If you will not end it, I cannot free you.”

[DM] Liam: “And behind you, far in the distance, you hear, ‘Bfrum!’ And you look back behind you out the glass and you see far on the horizon one of those black spires rising up. Just as you turn, it’s already happened, you’re seeing the aftermath, explosion out the side of one of those. Two seconds later, ‘Bfm!’ One slightly closer. ‘Bffrr!’”

[Character] Sam, whispered, “Just kill him!”

[DM] Liam: “The ground starts erupting in the distance.”

[Character] Marisha: “Do any of us want it to end, though?”

[Character] Sam, “I mean…”

[DM] Liam: “Like mousetraps throwing a ping pong ball, all those little lights are just going ‘Pfthd! Pfthd!’” He makes a quicker distant hissing rumbling sound. “Increasing in frequency to the point where it’s an oncoming wall of green fire.”

[Character] Travis, quietly : “I didn’t like being – anyway.”

[Character] Marisha: “This is okay.”

[Character] Travis, quietly: “Yeah.”

[Character] Taliesin: “I always knew I’d die young.”

[Character] Sam: “We’re just going to let this happen?”

[Character] Travis: “I’m good.”

[Character] Marisha: “I mean, the good die young.”

[Character] Ashley: “You know what? We’re dying on a Thursday, doing what we love.”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s true.”

[Character] Ashley: “I’m okay with that.”

[Character] Sam: “Alright.”

[DM] Liam: “The glass glows bright green-white light.”

[Character] Marisha: “Family?”

[Character] Matt: “Family.”

[DM] Liam: “’Pfth! And a moment passes. And another moment passes. Gosh, many moments pass, and you feel a sensation of your cheeks and heads on your arms. And then you all, more or less at the same time, wake up, and realize that your head’s on a desk or a table. And you sit up, and realize you’re in the set, the Geek & Sundry set. The studio, you’re in the studio. And you look over and Liam is sitting in black baseball cap, and a shirt, and he looks up and says,”

[Character] Liam, slightly incredulous: “Uh, are you guys okay? Are you taking a nap?”

[Character] Marisha: “Nah, the fucking air conditioning broke today, that’s all.”

[Character] Taliesin: “Yeah, it’s really uncomfortable in here.”

[Character] Marisha: “It’s so hot in here. Ugh!”

[Character] Sam: “So, this is all about me, right?”

[Character] Liam: “I don’t know. Uh, are you guys ready to play?”

[Character] Matt: “Just about. Um…”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright tech! Are you ready!?”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright, read to go live!”

[Character] Pit Crew: “Alright, Denise count them in!”

[Character] Denise: “Alright guys, coming to you in 5—“

[Character] Matt: “Liam?”

[Character] Denise: “4—“

[Character] Matt: “Let no one tell you,

[Character] Denise: “3—“

[Character] Matt: “That you’re talented and special.”

[Character] Denise: “2—“

[Character] Marisha, yelling, flipping Liam the double birds: “Pussy pockets!”

The players yell a wall of nearly indecipherable profanity at Liam in the moment before the camera goes live.

4:48:25 [DM] Liam: “And that’s where we’ll end it.”

Post:

Liam: “Well, that happened.”

Matt: “Holy shit.”

Liam: “Thanks for coming along for the ride, guys. Was scared to death to do all of that from start to finish, and that’s why I did it.”

roguesandsaviors  asked:

Pairing Keera and Negan

dog’send me a pairing and i’ll tell you who….

  • proposes - Negan has proposed that Keera be one of his wives so many times that she can’t even take it seriously anymore.
  • shops for groceries - Neither?  Considering the world they live in.
  • kills the spiders - Lucille
  • comes home drunk at 3am - Negan?
  • remembers to feed the fish - No one.
  • initiates duets - Negan.  Normally ominously
  • falls asleep first - Keera
  • plans spontaneous trips - Negan
  • wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Keera.
  • sends the other unsolicited nudes - No phones.  This is the end of the world. But if it wasn’t I could see Negan sending a dick pic just to be a jerk.
  • brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt - Negan 
  • comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - Keera.  One time they rated a twinkle factory a’la Zombieland.
  • blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit -  Negan 
  • killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - Both of them did.  But in this case Keera killed him and Negan enjoyed watching it.
  • wears the least clothing around the house - Negan.  Man has no shame.
  • has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason -  I think that they both do.  Its hard for Keera to separate the ‘dog’ like relationship and the things that he’s done for her, from being a woman now and she gets pretty sedimental about it.  

          You’re standing in the kitchen of your sweet Vegas hotel room, pulling out some glasses from the cabinet when you feel hands on you, making you jump a little, but relaxing at his touch. “Guess who?” Zayn says into your ear, and you bite your lips to keep from smiling. “Hi, love” you say as he pulls you into his chest and you lean back, smiling against his lips when he kisses you. He steps aside then to check what you’re doing and he grins. “We gettin’ a little pissed tonight, yeah?” and you giggle. “I think our one year calls for that, don’t you?” and he nods. “‘Course.” You smile and pass him a corkscrew and the bottle of wine, watching as he looks you up and down, your face blushing under his gaze. He puts the bottle down and strokes your cheek gently, smiling when he says, “You always blush, love, but I couldn’t help it. You look so…” and he admires you again, body covered in nothing but his “fuck you” t-shirt and a lacy, red lingerie set underneath. “So sexy.” and you giggle, nervous but turned on, a breathy thank you leaving your lips.  

          He pecks you on the cheek before heading into the bedroom to change and you pause setting up for a second. “Zayn?” you call and he pokes his head out. “Yeah, love?” and you sigh, unsure if he’ll enjoy tonight. “Are you sure that you’re okay with staying in tonight? I mean it is our one year and I know-” and his hands cut you off, tilting your head up so you can look at him. “Babe, ‘course I’m okay. We’re spending this whole weekend together in this beautiful city, went out last night and there’s still tomorrow. This entire weekend is our celebration, okay? A night in, especially tonight, is better than perfect.” and at that, he leans down and kisses your forehead, then your nose, then your lips, making you melt into him, completely taken over by his touch. He pulls away with a smile playing on his lips and lets his hands fall to your waist. “Plus if we stay in that gives us more time to do whatever we want, for how long we want-” and he kisses you again then turns you around so your back is to his chest, gesturing towards the counters surrounding you and the couch in the small living room, “-where we want.”

          After a few more kisses against the kitchen counter Zayn’s iPhone playlist fills the hotel room and you smile at the sound of his voice singing along to the sweet, sensual songs he’s chosen while he changes his clothes. He appears from the bedroom again, this time in a blank tank top and loose sweatpants. Even in the comfiest of clothes, you can’t help the feeling of desire that washes over you. You look away to go back to mixing drinks and preparing the chocolate fondue you prepared for the night. You hear him come padding into the kitchen, laughing as his body pushes into yours so he can get a whiff of the warm chocolate and fresh fruit. He mmm’s into your ear and the sound gives you goosebumps, but you don’t let him notice and continue on. He helps cut up some fruit and finally, you’re done. The chocolate is in a little bowl surrounded by bananas, strawberries, little cookies, marshmallows, and cherries. He rubs his hands together at the sight of the food and you smile, passing him the bottle of wine he never opened before. You watch as he pops the cork off, smiling and giving him a quick kiss before pouring 2 glasses and digging in to your snack. 

          You sit together on the small balcony of your hotel room, watching the twinkling lights of Las Vegas as the sun sets. You dip a cherry in the chocolate and hold it in front of him and he smirks before accepting it, parting his lips to nip the cherry off its stem. He licks his lips and smiles, cheerfully saying “My turn” as he goes to pick up a strawberry. He gets it covered in chocolate and you happily bite the end of it, letting your eyes roll back at how good it tastes. You take a second bite, and this time your lips gently touch Zayn’s fingers. The feeling sends a spark through you and you watch as he drops the leaves from the fruit onto the plate. Your eyes search his for a second before you stand up. His chair makes a scraping sound as he moves it away from the table and you walk around his chair, letting your hands drape over his shoulders from behind him. You kiss his neck, hands rubbing up and down his chest as your lips move a little higher. His fingers lock with yours and he pulls you then, making you rush out from behind him and fall into his lap. He plays with your fingers for a second before letting go and you notice a bit of chocolate on his fingers from before. You grab his hand and he watches silently as you lift his fingers to your mouth and gently kiss the tip of each one, sucking the chocolate off one, your eyes never leaving his. You kiss it again before letting his hand go and you fix yourself so your upright, straddling him on the balcony. “You know, they can see us out here” he says, voice low and gravelly. You nod and lean down, ignoring what he said as you kiss him longingly, tongues crashing against each other’s, your hands on the back of his neck while his rest on your lower back, keeping you as close as possible. You grind your crotch gently against him, a small breath escaping you and he pulls back, breaking the kiss. He traces your lips, more pink than before, and you love it. “Do you want me?” he says, his voice still gravelly, thick with desire. “You nod and he bites his lip. “Say it, love.” and you look into his eyes, both hands on his chest. “I want you.” you say, your want and need for him obvious in your voice and at that he stands up, lifting you into his arms and carrying you back into the hotel room.

          He has you against the wall, hands on your thighs while you keep yourself wrapped around him. His mouth is on yours, hungry and passionate as your tongues move together, giving you that feeling in the pit of your stomach, those butterflies only he can give you. You hold his face in your hands, one hand moving to the back of his neck when his lips find your neck, teeth nipping gently at the skin there. You bite back a small moan and he keeps going, tongue swiping the skin as he bites down a little harder, this time getting a quick, breathy sound from you. His lips move again, back to your lips where he bites and gently tugs at your lower lip. He lets it go and keeps his face in front of yours, lips barely touching when he says “You’re mine” and your lips part. You tighten your legs around him and you hold his face again, kissing his neck and then his lips. “I’m yours” you say softly against his lips and he moves away from the wall, arms keeping you against him, lips bumping together as he walks you towards the bedroom.

          He lets you down when you get in and you watch him swipe off his and your clothes and such from the dresser. He turns around to face you and you don’t hesitate to kiss him again, pulling him towards you as you lift yourself onto the dresser. He stands in between your legs and you reach out to him, hands resting on his waist. You run your hands gently and slowly, till they’re below his tank top and you nod for him to put his arms up. He does and you lift the shirt over his head and your breath hitches at his tan, sleek body covered in tattoos in front of yours. He rests his hands on your thighs and rubs up, doing the same to you to take off your shirt. He drops it to the floor and bites his lip, eyes scanning your body. You lay one hand on the back of his neck and gently pull him lower to kiss him, leaning back as you do. His hand rubs from your thigh to your stomach where he traces a circle around your belly button before continuing, palm rubbing gently over your breast and to your neck, finally resting on your cheek. Your lips move with his as you gently tug at the short hair on the back of his neck. His hands are on you again, this time working their way behind you. He pulls you back up and as close to him as possible, hiking one leg up to wrap it around him. Your head rolls back when he starts to kiss your neck again, his mouth sending chills down your spine. You can tell he’s getting impatient, wanting to destroy you right then and there with the way his lips move on your neck and you are too, your longing for him felt deep inside of you. You push forward a little, his lips still marking your skin and trace the heart on his hip, looping your fingers into the band of his sweats and pulling forward. He nips at your skin some more, your breath catching at the feeling and more so because of his hands on you, over your underwear exactly where you want to feel him. He rubs and you bite back a moan, grinding into his touch. You yank his pants lower and he pulls you as close as possible, his hard length pressing into you, fingers looping around the lace of your underwear and pulling them off, wrapping both your legs around him once he’s done. You throw your arms over his shoulders and he keeps his eyes on yours as he tugs his sweats lower, letting his boxer briefs fall with them. He puts his hands on your hips holding you against him, his eyes still on yours when he pushes into you, watching as your head falls back and your grip on him tightens. You’re both sloppy at first, your lips falling together and apart as he thrusts in and out, making the dresser bump the wall. You cling tight to him, hands pressing into his shoulders and he doesn’t take his eyes off you, pleased with pleasing you. Your bra strap falls down your shoulder and he kisses the exposed skin, hands gripping your hips as he moves. You hold his face in your hands again, and kiss him as he thrusts, harder with each one and he pauses for a second to lift you into his arms once more, this time to carry you over to the bed.

          His lips are on yours once again as he gently lays you down, kissing from your mouth back to your shoulder. He slips the other strap down and then unclasps the lacy red bra, tossing it over his shoulder. You flush under his gaze, and he notices, smiling as he kisses your shoulder again. He moves over your skin, hands palming your breasts as his lips move. You put your hands over his, guiding him to keep going and he squeezes a little, thumb running over your nipple. Your heel digs into his back when he does this, and he keeps going, mouth on your neck and hands on your breasts. You arch into his body and he adjusts himself, ready to keep going. You arch back more, every feeling he’s giving you intensified now that he’s found his rhythm, hips moving against yours, pushing in and out slowly at first then faster. He grips the headboard with one hand, both of your hands pressing into him, nails digging into his skin. He eases out then and pulls you up with him, kissing you as he kneels on the bed and pulls you on top of him. “I want to see you”, he says accent thicker and voice low. You nod once and kiss him, wanting to feel all of him. He pulls you close and his hands rest on your lower back, yours still on his shoulders as he pushes into you again. He fills you and you can’t help but let his name cross your lips and he watches you as you cling to him. You bite his shoulder to keep from being to loud, nails digging into him again and he holds you close. Your warm and sticky, and you don’t know whose sweat is whose as you move together, a rhythm keeping your hips rolling together. Your name leaves his lips and you kiss him, hand in his hair as he thrusts hard and slow. He eases you onto your back again, keeping his rhythm with you as he kisses down your body, lips leaving your sweaty skin tingling. His lips find your breast and kiss it gently, tongue swiping the side. You watch as through his thrusts, he nips the skin of your breast, marking you there as well. A pleased squeal leaves your lips at the feeling of his mouth sucking the skin, and then he stops to kiss your mouth some more. His hands travel down your body, one right to your center. He uses two fingers to circle your clit, biting his lip at the sight of you under him, struggling to not scream his name. He thrusts hard and deep, skin slapping yours and his fingers work you, bringing you to the edge. You claw at the sheets around you, “fuck” escaping your lips in a breathy moan. He leans lower, fingers still circling when he presses his forehead to yours. “Come for me” he says and your eyes flutter open, his name the only thing leaving your lips. “C’mon babe” he says, urging you on and you arch back, body crashing with his. Your heels dig into his back and one hand curls into the sheets while the other digs into his shoulder. Your muscles tighten and you feel the high rush through you as you finally hit your climax. He catches his name with his lips as you release and he lets your body gently hit the sheets. He leans down and brushes your sweaty hair back, kissing your lips once more. 

          You stay together under the sheets for a little while, sharing soft kisses. You sit up suddenly and go to wrap the sheet around you, but he holds it down, laughing when you frown at him. “Sorry love, but I could look at you naked all night”, he says and you stick your tongue out at him. He chuckles and watches you, arms crossed behind his head as you walk over to the bathroom. “You can throw one of my t-shirts on”, he says from the bed and you poke your head out. “No, won’t be needing it in here, thanks though. And I was thinking you could join me?” and his eyebrows raise. “Yeah?”, he says and you giggle at the excited look in his eyes. “Yeah.” He throws the cover off him and you laugh as he throws his arms around you, pinning you against the counter. He smiles before pressing his lips to yours and you brush your tongue over his lips. You break the kiss and walk over to get the shower going, the hot water steaming up the glass shower doors. You step in and Zayn follows, pulling your body against his. The water falls over you both and you run your fingers through his wet hair, kissing him once. “Now, love, you put in a lot of work in there” you say, nodding to the bedroom. He flashes you a cheeky smile and licks his lips. “The pleasure was all mine.” he says and you flush at the sound of his voice. “Well, being that it’s our anniversary, I insist I return the favor.” and he raises his eyebrows, head cocked to one side. Your hands run over his wet chest, tracing the wings on his chest and you rub lower, lowering your body till your kneeling in front of him, eyes locked with his. He swallows, lips parted a little as you gently palm his length, kissing the tip, ready to be with him like this all night long.