twerking grandma

the signs as things my 11 year old brother does
  • Aries: has a barking competition with the dog whenever it barks at something outside
  • Taurus: sprays his mom’s perfume into his hair so that it smells just like daisy by Marc Jacobs
  • Gemini: gets changed with the door open, then screams “my nuts” and covers his junk every time someone walks by
  • Cancer: showers and takes baths in his mom’s bathroom only
  • Leo: moons everyone, including the cat
  • Virgo: makes unprofessional youtube videos of himself playing minecraft and expects the family not to know when he speaks into a microphone he attached to a lamp everyday
  • Libra: whips and nae naes slowly to Beyoncé’s Haunted
  • Scorpio: gets sent to the principals office for twerking
  • Sagittarius: asks grandma if she is going to die soon
  • Capricorn: wears a two year old tux, sun hat, and golf gloves, sports a crappy British accent and goes around calling everyone sir
  • Aquarius: puts rap songs into google translate and dances to the mechanical jolts of the automated voice
  • Pisces: comes up to everyone with his lips sticking out and whisper “can I kiss you” until he is close enough to plant one on you for 2 minutes