Since we got to hear the episode in Viktor’s POV, we finally got to see what’s been bugging him.
He dedicated over twenty years of his life to figure skating. He won medal after gold medal, befriended everyone, traveled the world, and in all of this….he never felt alive. He never felt like he was living in the moment, just brushing past it and heading for the next one. For the past year, he finally had a chance to live and to love. He fell in love a year ago with Yuuri Katsuki and thought, “This is it. This is my way out. This is how I live,” and he chased after that next dream. A dream he never had a chance of focusing on because all the other dreams were the next podium, the next gold, the next number one.
For the first time since he slipped on his first pair of ice skates, Viktor Nikiforov has been able to live. For one year out of twenty-seven. And he is humbled by Yuuri’s love. He was so lonely, up there on a pedestal in the clouds, and here Yuuri was, loving him honestly. Viktor willingly dropped back down to earth, gave up what the last twenty years provided him, and took Yuuri’s hand.
He meets Yuuri where he is because Yuuri saves him.
“Father, you can’t just go around marrying men thirty years younger than you, especially not after everything that’s happened!”
“He’s twenty-seven, so not quite thirty years,” father pointed out affably.
Mitchell threw his hands in the air and rolled his eyes. “That’s not the point! The point is that the world has gone to shit, you’ve only just come back from the dead, and you’re already intent on marrying someone you hardly know! Tell me honestly, father–how long have you spent in his company, hm? A few weeks in total?”
“I don’t see why you should be concerned. It’s none of your business who I marry.”
“But papa–do you love him?” Susan asked, low and urgent, as she leaned forward over the table. “I know your rational mind says yes, but do you love him?”
Father/papa gave his daughter a pleased look that was almost a smile. “As a matter of fact, yes. I do love him,” he replied quietly.
“If not now, when? You know our work; you know how dangerous it is. As for why him…” Father/papa/dad got a thoughtful, faraway look on his face. His children knew it, and did not interrupt his thoughts.
“Because… he knows me,” he answers softly, looking at the ceiling. “He knows what I am, what I can do, and he’s still stood by me. I love him because he loves me.”
“When I get away from skating, two ‘L words’ come to mind: life and love. I’ve been neglecting both for over twenty years.”
For over twenty years of his twenty-seven years of life, Victor has been neglecting both life and love. For over twenty years, Victor has been without a life that he desires, nor has he ever experienced the feeling of love, whether it be romantic, platonic, or parental.
But in comes Yuuri, first through a crazy banquet night of drunk dancing and then through a video clip of him skating to Victor’s “Stay Close to Me” program. For the first time in a long time Victor gets a tiny gust of life and love breathed back into him.
As the series progresses, Victor and Yuuri get closer as skaters and just as people. They learn new things about each other, such as the way how Yuuri’s eyes sparkle when he’s thinking about something important or Victor’s sensitivity to poking his hair whorl. And you can see how much happier Victor has become. You can see Victor’s eyes sparkling just like Yuuri’s.
I know that many people believe that Yuuri isn’t worthy of being Victor’s student or that Victor isn’t capable of being Yuuri’s coach. But honestly, how can people say that? Look at how far Yuuri as made it with Victor by his side. Look at how confident and strong he’s become. And look at Victor. Yuuri breathed life and love into Victor’s world when there was none.
Victor is still searching. It’s been fourteen years and he dies. Once. Twice. Thrice- way too many to count now. He wants to curse the system for this overbearing pain in his heart. It doesn’t help that he’s placed through time, again and again. It was from century to century until they died at the age of specifically twenty-seven and twenty-three. - a.k.a the Victuuri fic with the Reincarnation! AU in it and Victor searches for Yuuri until he almost gives up but the system gives him another chance
In English, we say, “I am twenty seven years old,” but in Italian they say, “I have twenty seven years.” English inherently equates age with something you ARE, with your identity as a person. Italian inherently equates age with something you HAVE, how long you’ve had experiences under your belt.