i’m sure people have talked about it before but the potential for hilarity with a fake ah crew gavin who doesn’t know how to drive is so great to me
like maybe they’re in the middle of a heist and gavin and michael are paired off to cause mayhem somewhere, and they need to make a quick getaway but michael managed to smash up his glasses somehow (fuckin’ knew i should’ve worn contacts goddammit) so he tosses gavin the keys like “i can’t see shit, you gotta drive”
and gavin looks at michael, wide-eyed, and says, “well, i don’t know how.”
there’s a good few seconds of silence, and then michael deafens absolutely everyone in their right ears over the comms. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T DRIVE YOU’RE FUCKING TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS OLD ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW MIGHT AS WELL SHOVE THIS WHOLE FUCKING CAR UP MY ASS FOR ALL THE GOOD IT DOES US JESUS CHRIST”
they manage to make it back, michael driving and gavin yelping in terror every seven seconds, that’s a tree, that’s a tREE, michael, michael(YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T GET TO COMPLAIN SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP)
and then michael collects the crew and points at gavin like “somebody better fuckin’ do something about this.”
jack sighs and hauls gavin out the door by his arm. they return less than an hour later. gavin looks sheepish. jack looks haunted.
“we went to an empty parking lot so he could practice. like three acres of empty space.”
“he managed to find and crash into every single fucking light pole. every single one. my car looks like it rolled down fucking mount chiliad.”
ryan shrugs and stands up and drags gavin back out to that same parking lot in his own car, gavin protesting the entire time. he gets gavin behind the wheel and then pulls a handgun out of his jacket and points it at gavin’s right knee.
“hit anything with my car and i shoot you. and then i’ll shoot you again for getting blood on the upholstery,” he says, talking over gavin’s yell of alarm. (gavin would argue with that logic but, well, ryan’s armed and he isn’t.)
it totally works. nobody can figure out why gavin always looks so stiff while he’s driving, though. keeps his hands at ten and two come hell or high water. ryan is quietly smug.