“So you see,” said the Royal Advisor, wringing his hands, “the curse states the princess will die on the night before her twenty-fifth birthday–”
“Hang on,” said the princess, “‘ON the night before’–”
The Advisor nodded grimly.
“So what you’re saying is that, until that one specific date, I am effectively immortal?”
“Technically yes, but then–” the King stammered.
“Wow,” said the princess, who was sixteen and did not possess amazing impulse control. “I’m gonna go teach myself how to juggle chainsaws while hang gliding over shark-infested waters, catch you chuckleheads later.”
Cryptocracy is the best scifi action-comedy about gay space pirates battling both Earth Fascism and Space Fascism you’ll read all week!! You can trust me on that, I wrote the damn thing!!
Whether you’re reading for the first time or engaging in a long overdue reread, I decided it would be to everyone’s benefit to have a one-stop shop for all chapters of the book!! This is the entire book, and as always, it is provided for free at no cost to you!! Please read this book, and don’t forget to share this post with your friends!!
James Potter splattering cake all over his parents, and continuing to then face plant in the cake on his first birthday. James Potter giggling uncontrollably when his cousins put him on a toy broom for the first time on his second birthday. James Potter accidentally enchanting his own glasses and watching, fascinated, as they zoom out the window on his fifth birthday. James Potter being all smug on his tenth birthday because he’s reached double digits. James Potter’s three new friends: Sirius, Remus, and Peter, throwing cream pies at his face across the Great Hall at eleven. James Potter hopelessly pining for a certain redhead instead of doing a birthday prank with the Marauders at age fourteen. James Potter getting the best gift possible from his fiery girlfriend at seventeen (Sirius proceeding to tease him endlessly about it the next morning). James Potter walking up to his pregnant wife and kissing her senseless on his nineteenth birthday. James Potter throwing baby Harry up and down as Lily watches, taking photographs at twenty. James Potter standing at the alter as Sirius’s best man, watching as his two best friends promise to love each other forever when he is twenty two. James Potter tearing up when Sirius and Remus announce that they’re adopting a beautiful baby girl on his twenty-fifth birthday. James Potter laughing hysterically when Harry gets him a pranking kit for his thirtieth birthday. James Potter hugging Harry, Ron, and Hermione when they graduate from Hogwarts on his thirty-seventh birthday. James Potter conducting “happy birthday”, as his family sings to him at age forty. James Potter smiling and crying and laughing when he discovers he’ll be a grandfather at forty-five. James Potter having a quiet birthday with Lily, the love of his life, at forty-nine. James Potter nervously asking Lily to go out on a date with him on his fifty-fifth birthday. James Potter surrounded by the people he loves as they wish him a happy fifty-seventh birthday.
James Potter growing up to be an old man. James Potter living.
when a band/artist that you love isnt very well known but suddenly become super famous anD NOw YOURE COnfUSED BEcAUSE youRE HAPPY FOR THEm BUT YOU AlSO HatE IT BECaUSE THEYRE NO LoNGeR YOUr LITTLE SECRET