steve will apparently fight nazis & 117 countries on my behalf but when he saw a group of screaming fangirls coming at us this morning he yelled ‘every man for himself!!!’ and started running

Whatever you do, don’t imagine Little Jason Grace coming to Camp Jupiter led by Juno and without even knowing this kid, he’s already being hailed Champion of Juno because yes he’s a toddler with a scar on his lip and watery eyes and he’s crying out “Lia!” though no one knows who that is but Juno brought him here and so he’s not just Jason anymore, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno.

Don’t imagine Child Jason Grace being claimed, lightning striking the earth and thunder booming the minute he picks up a gold sword and marks being burned into his skin because he may be only a child that doesn’t know how to put on armour properly and wears baggy hand me downs but it is Jupiter who claimed him hello, King of the fucking universe, and so now he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, and son of Jupiter.

Don’t imagine Tweenage Jason Grace wondering who he belongs to, what his parents are like, if they would like him, and asking everyone what Jupiter’s like if they know anything, anything at all about his mother, but all anyone tells him is you are a Child of Rome, Jason Grace, and that is all you need to know because it doesn’t matter if he’s not done growing yet and has no idea what his place in the world is yet because he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, and Child of Rome.

Don’t imagine Teenage Jason Grace going on a quest to save the fucking world, not to make  himself seem like a hero, but to prove to himself that he is hero that everyone says he is even if he’s lost his fucking memory and when he comes back expecting a “Hey, look, he’s a person” all there is pontifex maximus, he’s the pontifex maximus, because it doesn’t matter that he’s gone through pain and heartache and blood, so much blood, he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, Child of Rome, and Pontifex Maximus.

Don’t imagine Older Jason Grace walking down a street and hearing Hero of Olympus, he’s a Hero of Olympus whispered behind him, because it doesn’t matter that he’s tired of only a few select people really knowing him and that there’s always going to be a breaking point, he doesn’t have those, of course not, after all, he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, Child of Rome, Pontifex Maximus, and Hero of Olympus.

Instead, just imagine a member of one of the many lares calling Jason in the streets but he’s not calling Jason, he’s calling “Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, Child of Rome, Pontifex Maximus, Hero of Olympus” and Jason, just Jason, breaks down in the middle of the streets-

I’m not just a fucking title!”

My dudes, please don’t tag my anti-daxamite fuckboy posts with that god-awful ship. I don’t need some tweenage groupies sniffing around my blog fancying themselves McCarthy-era spies sent in to root out the evil gays and publicly shame them.

I’m a lesbian in Texas. I have enough of this shit to deal with in real life.

lukersea  asked:

okay while ur watching twilight i just wanna say there was this thing in eclipse where bella was like "so you're a vampire! he's a werewolf! who cares? if angela's a witch, she can join in!!" and tweenage me was so disappointed when that didn't happen #teamangela2017

Omg i dont remember that, that fits perfectly in my teenwolf twilight au

any photos of Two holding the 500 year diary are my favourite because he looks like a tweenager who keeps his deepest most darkest secrets in it.

very private, do not read.

oh god did I really write that I was so embarrassing omg

thinkin’ about cruuuushes

excuse me are u trying to read me diary mind ya business no one can do that

except my bffs forever Ben and Polls ofc <3

If I see these average at best hoes trying to sell pics on kik because they’re too fucking lazy to get a real job like the rest of us, I’m gonna roast you. Do you not know that act makes you a literal prostitute? And don’t justify it by saying “It’s art” because it’s fucking not. Some tweenage/teenage fuckboy is jerking it to your tits darling you are not a model. You’re a hoe.

alkja  asked:

Not that any and all Snark Wars isn't a complete joy, but... what about Little Quasi Orphan Obi-Wan & His Tweenage Misery? Will we get more of it?

Ahhhh yes, dear reader! :) Snark Wars will indeed be revisiting Obi-Wan’s Terrible Tweenage Years again soon. I mean, he still needs to make some new friends and Qui-Gon still has to be an asshole to him SO MANY MORE TIMES yet. 

I got momentarily sidetracked by the Darksaber and also Sad Hermit Kenobi. There’s just so much Sad Obi-Wan material to cover! *laughs/cries*  

Clork Greefen

Hello my name is Clork Greefen and I am the smartiest, most funniest, most prettiest person ever to fall from the sky. I know yor probably thinking i fell from heaven but no, just from space. Me and a couple of other doucheybags. I am rich and pretty and blonde with sky blues eyes and excellent tits. They call me princes. One of the boys Baloney is not very nice. All of them are stoppid. A bitchy tweenager called Charlotte stabbed my best frend Wells in the neck with a nife. He’s dead now. So is she because she jumped off a cliff. Unlike when we came from space she died.

Anyways more stuff happened but it was boring and involved grown ups (who i hate because my mum sucks and killed my father and she’s also probably npt even my real muther because she doesn’t look like me and she has no heart but i have a heart so i think she’s an AI - but then again who wood be dumb enuff to write a stupid artifical intelligence plot????) but then we were like kidnapped by these weird vampires. They aren’t actually vampires but they suck blood from the people who have lived here.

The people who lived here arnt very nice. They lived here for a hundred years and we crash down, kill some people and villages, make noise, stomp about, and invade their lands but I still dont see why their so upset. Whatever they’re just mountain men food anyway. Yeah the people who kidnapped us live in a mountain and they seperated me from my fuckboi boyfriend Finn.

Luckily I escaped and I got slapped with mud by this super hot grounder lady and now i’m gay. She died though because i thin kshe was gay too so her blud is a magnet for bullets. Now her friend the commander wasnts to meet me and so I have to try to loook strong and intimidating. And smart. But I’m surrounded by iriots so it’s easy to be superiorly intelligent.

Keep reading

The New Kid’s Crush

Mello felt her gaze burning into the back of his head. He’d have this feeling regularly, as she seemed to do this everyday ever since she’s got here. She’d been staring for about 30 minutes now. A new child had recently been brought into the orphanage. Her name was y/n l/n, but she went by the name y/a (your alias). Wammy’s House hardly ever got new children admitted, as the orphanage was reserved for genius orphans. That type of child was hard to stumble across. The only 3 notable things about the Wammy’s children was their brilliant minds, their strange habits, and of course, their aliases. A new child had recently been brought into the orphanage. Y/a had arrived about three weeks ago, but she was even more special than the other children at Wammy’s. Why, you ask? Because she developed a crush on a stone-hearted, cold-blooded, one-tracked-mind tweenager who went by the name “Mello”. He was the second smartest child in the entire orphanage and was being trained to surpass L, the smartest detective in the world. The boy was currently getting fed up at the girl’s constant watch over him. He turned around, and sure enough, there she was, staring at him with sparkling eyes, a dazed look spread across her face, with a deep blush tinting her cheeks a rosy red. She looked truly love-stricken. Mello got out of his seat and began to angrily walk over to the y/a, blonde bobbed hair bouncing as he stomped. This caught her attention as her object of affection had moved from his once idle position. Mello looked down at her and the notebook and pencil tightly clutched to her chest. He decided that he’d snoop through it later. “Oh! H-Hi, M-Mello.. If that’s what your name is, I-I mean! Hi, uhm, I’m y/a.” Y/a nervously stuttered out. She had just watched him from afar, but never made actual contact with him. “Ok y/a. Why do you keep staring at me? I know you are, so don’t deny it.” Mello plainly stated, almost no emotion. His eyes slightly widened as he realized that he sounded like a firmer version of Near, but he soonly settled down. “No reason.. hehe…” Y/a said, trying to salvage any bit of mystery and deceit she had available in her. Her lies weren’t very convincing. Mello continued to look down at the embarrassed, flush-faced, overly-intelligent girl. He realized that he and her weren’t so different. In many ways they shared the same qualities, but different scenarios and with different context. Mello’s lips twitched up into a smile. It lasted for mere seconds before disappearing down into his usual deadly resting face and leaned down. Mello stared directly into the girl’s eyes, patted her desk, and said “Have a nice day, y/a.”. It may have been out of character, but as long as no one saw and she didn’t tell, Mello didn’t care. He never really cared much for anything, except beating Near and chocolate. Why Mello had been unrealistically nice for how he was? A sudden voice popped inside his head and told him to be kind or he’d severely regret it. He followed the voice’s instructions, as this time they seemed reasonable. Maybe it was that, or maybe it was just because of how adorable the new kid’s crush was.

holdwine  asked:

Neptune and Phobos? 🎶🎵

NEPTUNE: what’s an album that you can listen through entirely w/o skipping a song?

 omg, you’re going to ask me to choose one of my babies. *aggrieved sigh* Well then. I’m just going to have to waffle on and on about a whole bunch of shit nobody cares about. ANYWAY… 

The first real album I ever bought (I have embarrassment pre-teen/tweenage stuff I will never admit to, so suck it), was “Tuesday Night Music Club” by Sheryl Crow and I know it off by heart. I can sing like a muthafucker to each and every song and will do so gladly. 

But this is not the only album I have a deep and emotional connection to, there are a lot. Well, most anything by Sheryl Crow, and a lot of femme vocal artists of that era: Sarah McLachlan, Meredith Brooks, Heather Nova, Liz Phair. But I can also be found rocking out to the likes of TISM and The Whitlams, KORN, No Doubt. 

I will sing like a possessed muthafucker to showtunes:  CHICAGO. ME AND MY GIRL. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 

A lot of Triple J Hottest 100 from the 90s and early 2000s is good stuff. 

Man, I could go on forever. 

PHOBOS: what was your favourite song as a child?

I have two, well, I have about a thousand, but these have very strong links in my mind, so if I have to narrow it down: 

- “American Pie”. Yeah, yeah I know. Trite. But this song my aunt had on a record, and my cousin, sister, and I used to play it all the time and dance across the living room rug, creating dance acts and stage performances. It was very freeing. 

- “YMCA” - I was but a wee tyke and not old enough to really get into music, but my older sister was a 70s child and had this. I remember her taking us to the Blue Light disco and teaching us how to dance to it. Fun times. 


Fifth Harmony’s very existence is an anomaly in 2016. Boy bands have it ­relatively easy – a seemingly endless supply of grade-school and tweenage girls feasting at the smorgasbord of fantasy boyfriends branded according to personality: the bad boy, the saint, the jokester, the enigma. 5H’s most recent forebears were all founded in the 1990s: Destiny’s Child, TLC, Spice Girls and The Pussycat Dolls.” Billboard (2016)

Today’s pet peeve: the thing where every other young female video game protagonist is a t-shirt-and-jeans-weaing tomboy with a gender-neutral name. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of perfectly lovely young ladies named Riley or Max, but let’s give the Jessicas and Tiffanies of the world their due, eh?

(It’d be nice if we could rely less on the whole “rough-and-tumble upbringing with like eight brothers” thing while we’re at it. You want a plausible explanation for why your tweenage girl protagonist is a pint-size action hero with a freakishly high pain threshold? Two words: ballet lessons.)

The signs as people you'll meet in your life
  • Aries: grumpy toddler that bites a lot but you can't slap cuz it's a baby
  • Taurus: 22 year old exhausted college student trying to survive on ramen and coffee
  • Gemini: successful lawyer in their late 20s that has lots of one night stands
  • Cancer: tweenage boy with self confidence issues
  • Leo: your friend's mom that invites you over when your friend and their father are out of town... oh
  • Virgo: hardcore principal of an elementary school
  • Libra: the leader of the popularly unpopular kids in school
  • Scorpio: minimum wage worker that will cut a bitch
  • Sagittarius: your stoned neighbor that you hate to interact with
  • Capricorn: suburban dad that tells the same jokes every BBQ
  • Aquarius: the kid on instagram that posts an artsy HQ picture every day
  • Pisces: the kid you're babysitting that cries when you tell them not to make a pudding mural

When Swift chimed in, it changed the conversation from woman versus institution to woman versus woman. Ironically, this is exactly the complaint Swift leveled against Minaj: “It’s unlike you to pit women against each other.” This fits with Swift’s recent campaign against the Mean Girls stereotype of women as catty infighters; her 1989 shows have featured clips videos of her famous buddies telling the largely tweenage girl audience about how great same-sex friendship can be. The cause is righteous, but Swift’s tweet to Minaj shows the limits of it. When female solidarity shuts down someone’s honest expression of frustration at society, inequality, and racial and body-type bias, that’s hardly progressive.  Taylor Swift and the Silencing of Nicki Minaj, The Atlantic

Signs: What you Should Fear

Sagittarius: Drop Bears

Libra: That cold, slimy, foreboding tentacle wrapping around your ankle on a day-trip to the ocean…

Taurus: The slow disintegration of the universe

Gemini: How you’re not great with responsibility despite all these great powers…

Scorpio: Cassowaries

Aquarius: Whether you are even real, or if this is all a gigantic version of the SIMS played by a tweenage being we could never hope to comprehend…

Aries: What exists in the world that we cannot see with our limited occular sensory organs… and what hides in our blind spots, close enough to touch.

Cancer: BEES

Leo: How your alternate selves in parallel universes are doing right now

Capricorn: What cars would say, if they could talk, as we drive them. And if they would tell us we are quite skilled with our hands as we manipulate their interiors for our own purposes…

Virgo: How escalators would function if gravity turned off.

Pisces: The Reaper. Don’t let that catchy song fool you. Constant Vigilance!