tweenages

Try to kick that ball over the fence you .... kids.

I moved into a new place and as soon as the weather got nice out a rather annoying thumping started up against one side of my house. Oh great, the twin tweenage boys like to wail soccer balls against our adjoining fence.

The ball kicking continued daily and would go on until it ended up flying into our yard, and then instead of coming to get it or asking for it they continued until rest of the soccer balls they owned made it into our yard (they have a lot of soccer balls.) Then if we didn’t throw them back, which I stopped doing after a few months because I had other things to do with my time, their mother would come and ask for their balls back after a few days.

We asked if there was anything they could do to maybe avoid kicking so many balls over the fence, or ya know just come fetch them on their own so it wasn’t my job. Nope. Apparently the old neighbours were okay with it so we should be too.

Eventually, after waking up my toddler several times, almost hitting him in the head and the last straw waking me up when I was super pregnant from a nap I had enough. I went and dug through our sports equipment, found the air pump, went and got the balls, emptied them of all their air while giggling with childish delight and threw their empty ball carcasses over the fence onto their trampoline for them to discover when they came back out.

That was the last time a ball ever came over our fence. My husband tells me it was a childish thing to do, sure was, and it was god damn satisfying.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | source

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Fifth Harmony’s very existence is an anomaly in 2016. Boy bands have it ­relatively easy – a seemingly endless supply of grade-school and tweenage girls feasting at the smorgasbord of fantasy boyfriends branded according to personality: the bad boy, the saint, the jokester, the enigma. 5H’s most recent forebears were all founded in the 1990s: Destiny’s Child, TLC, Spice Girls and The Pussycat Dolls.” Billboard (2016)

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ABC’s Once Upon a Time will shed light on two differently evil sisters during the back half of Season 5 — and to that end has cast tweenage Regina and Zelena.

TVLine has learned that Ava Acres, who recurs on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (as Young Rebecca) and who also memorably haunted Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Melinda May during the Cavalry’s backstory, has been cast in Episode 19 as Young Regina.

English actress Isabella Blake-Thomas (BBC’s The Green Balloon Club), meanwhile, will play Young Zelena in the same episode, which is titled “Sisters.”

Seen at age 10, Regina is described as neglected and lonely, with zero interest in her mother’s royal duties. Twelve-year-old Zelena meanwhile is coming to terms with the magical ability her father despises so much.

Barbara Hershey — who returns as Cora in the winter premiere (airing March 6) — likely will appear in the episode as the girls’ shared mother.

As previously scooped by TVLine, though Zelena was banished back to Oz in the midseason finale, she will resurface in Season 5B — in part, to battle a warrior-mode Dorothy Gale (Chicago Fire alum Teri Reeves).

“[Zelena] is absolutely not done,” co-creator Eddy Kitsis recently told TVLine. “The Zelena story in Oz, with Dorothy, will tie into our Underworld story pretty significantly.”

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Whatever you do, don’t imagine Little Jason Grace coming to Camp Jupiter led by Juno and without even knowing this kid, he’s already being hailed Champion of Juno because yes he’s a toddler with a scar on his lip and watery eyes and he’s crying out “Lia!” though no one knows who that is but Juno brought him here and so he’s not just Jason anymore, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno.

Don’t imagine Child Jason Grace being claimed, lightning striking the earth and thunder booming the minute he picks up a gold sword and marks being burned into his skin because he may be only a child that doesn’t know how to put on armour properly and wears baggy hand me downs but it is Jupiter who claimed him hello, King of the fucking universe, and so now he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, and son of Jupiter.

Don’t imagine Tweenage Jason Grace wondering who he belongs to, what his parents are like, if they would like him, and asking everyone what Jupiter’s like if they know anything, anything at all about his mother, but all anyone tells him is you are a Child of Rome, Jason Grace, and that is all you need to know because it doesn’t matter if he’s not done growing yet and has no idea what his place in the world is yet because he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, and Child of Rome.

Don’t imagine Teenage Jason Grace going on a quest to save the fucking world, not to make  himself seem like a hero, but to prove to himself that he is hero that everyone says he is even if he’s lost his fucking memory and when he comes back expecting a “Hey, look, he’s a person” all there is pontifex maximus, he’s the pontifex maximus, because it doesn’t matter that he’s gone through pain and heartache and blood, so much blood, he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, Child of Rome, and Pontifex Maximus.

Don’t imagine Older Jason Grace walking down a street and hearing Hero of Olympus, he’s a Hero of Olympus whispered behind him, because it doesn’t matter that he’s tired of only a few select people really knowing him and that there’s always going to be a breaking point, he doesn’t have those, of course not, after all, he’s not just Jason, he’s Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, Child of Rome, Pontifex Maximus, and Hero of Olympus.

Instead, just imagine a member of one of the many lares calling Jason in the streets but he’s not calling Jason, he’s calling “Jason Grace, Champion of Juno, Son of Jupiter, Child of Rome, Pontifex Maximus, Hero of Olympus” and Jason, just Jason, breaks down in the middle of the streets-

I’m not just a fucking title!”

Today’s pet peeve: the thing where every other young female video game protagonist is a t-shirt-and-jeans-weaing tomboy with a gender-neutral name. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of perfectly lovely young ladies named Riley or Max, but let’s give the Jessicas and Tiffanies of the world their due, eh?

(It’d be nice if we could rely less on the whole “rough-and-tumble upbringing with like eight brothers” thing while we’re at it. You want a plausible explanation for why your tweenage girl protagonist is a pint-size action hero with a freakishly high pain threshold? Two words: ballet lessons.)

When Swift chimed in, it changed the conversation from woman versus institution to woman versus woman. Ironically, this is exactly the complaint Swift leveled against Minaj: “It’s unlike you to pit women against each other.” This fits with Swift’s recent campaign against the Mean Girls stereotype of women as catty infighters; her 1989 shows have featured clips videos of her famous buddies telling the largely tweenage girl audience about how great same-sex friendship can be. The cause is righteous, but Swift’s tweet to Minaj shows the limits of it. When female solidarity shuts down someone’s honest expression of frustration at society, inequality, and racial and body-type bias, that’s hardly progressive.  Taylor Swift and the Silencing of Nicki Minaj, The Atlantic

Signs: What you Should Fear

Sagittarius: Drop Bears

Libra: That cold, slimy, foreboding tentacle wrapping around your ankle on a day-trip to the ocean…

Taurus: The slow disintegration of the universe

Gemini: How you’re not great with responsibility despite all these great powers…

Scorpio: Cassowaries

Aquarius: Whether you are even real, or if this is all a gigantic version of the SIMS played by a tweenage being we could never hope to comprehend…

Aries: What exists in the world that we cannot see with our limited occular sensory organs… and what hides in our blind spots, close enough to touch.

Cancer: BEES

Leo: How your alternate selves in parallel universes are doing right now

Capricorn: What cars would say, if they could talk, as we drive them. And if they would tell us we are quite skilled with our hands as we manipulate their interiors for our own purposes…

Virgo: How escalators would function if gravity turned off.

Pisces: The Reaper. Don’t let that catchy song fool you. Constant Vigilance!

HIGH FIVE: ARCHES OF TRIUMPH

Take a peek at these peak-perfecting brow innovations.

If it feels like you can’t get away from brows, it’s because they’re everywhere. For one thing, they’re in the middle of your face. For another, they’re a focus of every magazine spread and beauty ad in the universe. But how do you participate in this trend if you lack luscious wigglers? Because it’s likely you permanently plucked away too many hairs when you were a tweenager and didn’t understand the concept of “lifelong consequences,” in this Sephora Glossy post, we’re rounding up five products to help you fake it ’til you make it. BECKY PEDERSON

Marc Jacobs Beauty Brow Wow Defining Longwear Pencil
Frame your face with this super-skinny pencil and its built-in spoolie. The pencil’s precision tip dispenses barely-there product that mimics the look of hair with eyebrow-raising results.

Kat Von D Tattoo Precision Brow
Inspired by the bestselling Tattoo Liquid Liner, this bad boy helps you create sculpted, architectural brows in a few simple swipes. The dense brush tip allows for control as bristles comb through brow hairs for ultimate coverage.

Bobbi Brown Perfectly Defined Long-Wear Brow Pencil
Thanks to the unique tip that’s shaped like an angled brow brush, define your edge, arch, and tail and fill in with just one product. Blend with ease using the attached spoolie.

Giorgio Armani Eye & Brow Maestro
Created backstage at fashion shows, this versatile gel pot can be used to reshape eyebrows, line your eyes, contour, and touch up roots. Elastic flex polymers allow for easy application that will leave you runway-ready in a flash.

SEPHORA COLLECTION Tinted Brow Freeze
Make sure your look doesn’t budge with a jumbo pencil modeled after setting waxes and gels. The opaque wash of color is perfect for a natural brow look that emphasizes your eyes.

SHOP ALL BROW INNOVATION >

any photos of Two holding the 500 year diary are my favourite because he looks like a tweenager who keeps his deepest most darkest secrets in it.

very private, do not read.

oh god did I really write that I was so embarrassing omg

thinkin’ about cruuuushes

excuse me are u trying to read me diary mind ya business no one can do that

except my bffs forever Ben and Polls ofc <3

Sneak peak of my installation tonight at @top40la! 11-4am DJ set by @jessesaintjohn and projections/ Britney shrine by me! Weed/ booze bar and surprises all night! Email for address: youare@top40.la ✨ subject: tweenage dream 😇

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