the magicians sentence starters ( part 2 )

from season 2 episodes 1-4

“How much do I have to drink so that I never have to hear your voice again?”
“I don’t know how to politely ask you to fuck me.”
“I guess we’re gonna die.” 
“You shot me, you cock!”
“Why didn’t you shoot her in the neck?”
“People like me get shot for saying shit like that.”
“You’re dead.”
“I suppose this one way to get the killing bit over with?”
“Wait, you don’t want us on the suicide mission with you?”
“Come near me and the knife won’t kill you, ‘cause you can still love without your dick.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“You can’t trap me in here.”
“All I can handle right now is a goddamn ice cream sundae, okay?”
“Why does it sound like you’re trying to fight with me?”
“It’s not a trap.”
“Also, I’m gonna make you the best ice cream sundae you’ve ever had.”
“Blow that bitch up, let’s go!”
“You’re acting all tweaky and shit.”
“He got like this on shrooms once.”
“I can barely feel my face much less my face. I mean my hands.”
“What I really need is a dagger. A stiletto, really. Something I can sneak up and stab someone with. But regal.”
“Sweetie? You sound kind of insane.”
“I promise you…I will not go down easily.”
“Jesus, _____ is going full Harry Potter part seven/eight over there.”
“Sorry I wasn’t paying attention. I fell asleep for a moment.”
“You have no one. You deserve no one.”
“I mean we’re best bitches, right?”
“Well, you do have questionable judgement.”
“I’m judging myself.”
“The fact that you just called it a rager enrages me.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“You’ve got some balls to show up here.”
“I want to be happy. Can you do that?”
“You are wiser than you seem.”

anonymous asked:

Ignorant about portraying meth as acceptable by to the impressionable young kids on here? Nope. It's just meth. One of the potentially most dangerous drugs in existence ya uninformed tweaky cunt

If I didn’t sin then what would Jesus have died for tho amirite

I've Had My Fun

As requested by my darling wife, mhunter10. Enjoy.


“Watcha having?” Ian stepped off the wooden hill. He saw Mickey hunched over the kitchen table, having some leftover jambalaya.

“Dinner from earlier. Want some?” Ian sat down as Mickey slid the tupperware container over to him.

“Thanks.” Mickey nodded as Ian took a few bites.

“You seem different lately,” Mickey said after a while. He didn’t want to look up at Ian as he was embarrassed for having been so observant.

“How so?” Ian had a curious look.

“I dunno. When you first got back, you were all… tweaky and energetic. Now you seem more… level?” He wasn’t sure how to describe Ian’s more even behavior.

“Oh. Yeah… I’m cutting back on the ‘party favors.’ Seeing Fiona all fucked up and Lip needing help with the kids… I just… I need to chill out.” Ian admitted, he sighed with relief for actually discussing his desire to be himself again.

“Oh, yeah?” Mickey looked genuinely interested and he was relieved as well. He couldn’t help himself and he reached his hand to hold Ian’s on the table. Nobody was around, it was okay.

Ian smiled sweetly, adoring his boyfriend with his eyes. “Yeah. I’ve had my fun.” They sat in a comfortable silence for a minute, simply staring at each other. “By the way… back when I said you had to suck me off whenever I wanted… I… I was on a lot of coke that day. It turns me into a horny, controlling asshole. I didn’t mean it.”

“Good. Was startin’ to think you’d kick me out if I didn’t put out…”

Ian put his hands on either side of Mickey’s face. “Never.” He leaned forward and gave the pimp a deep kiss, trailing his way down his neck. “In fact, how ‘bout I make it up to you by giving you the best blowjob of your life?” Ian backed up his seat and made his way to his knees, crawling under the table to be between Mickey’s legs.

Mickey looked down at him with lustful eyes. “Mmm… sounds fair.”

“You can force it in and make me choke…”

“Oh yeah?” Mickey raised his brows, getting hard from Ian’s dirty talk, which oddly enough was a symbol that Ian was in fact getting better.

Ian leaned up to kiss Mickey’s lips once more, whisper, “make me your bitch, tonight.”

As Ian lowered his head, Mickey took the last bite of jambalaya, nearly choking when he felt Ian’s soft lips wrap around him.

Some Bet Calum Hood Smut for Anonymous

After many drinks we decided to head back to his place. We went through the elevator and he pinned me to the wall and grabbed my lips with his.

“Fuck I usually don’t do this. I don’t even know your name.” I panted out and he released a dark chuckle.

“Calum. You’ll be screaming that name all night love.” He said and the elevator beeped and we stepped out.

“That depends.” I said as he walked me toward his door and quickly opening it.

“On what?” He asked confused.

“If you’re good enough to make me scream.” I said with a small smirk and he rolled his eyes.

“I promise you’ll be screaming it.” He said as he threw me on the bed and took off his shirt. He leaned down and heavily made out with me while undressing us both. Soon enough we were both panting and he kissed down my chest.

“You really don’t waste time do you?” I asked and he chuckled right near my core.

“Shut up and just scream.” He said and attacked my core with his lips and my hands automatically flew to his hair pulling him toward me while screaming curse words with his named mixed in-between.

“Fuck I don’t think I can wait anymore. Ready?” He asked and I was upset he didn’t let me come but I’m pretty sure he has more to offer.

“Yeah I’m ready.” I answered a little lost in thought. He hovered above me and leaned over to grab a condom in his drawer and ripped it with his mouth. He placed on his member and looked down at me once more. I gave him a slight nod and he nodded his head before sliding into me. We both gasped and his hips then started to move.

“Holy shit Calum!” I moaned and he smiled while looking down at me thinking it’s an encouragement to move faster. We were both panting and his hand leaned down and quickly rubbed my clit causing for my back to arch.

“I’m so close I just–FUCK CALUM!” I moaned out as I came hard and he followed right after me. We were both panting and he slid out and threw the condom away.

“Wow.” He said and I laughed. I started to get up and he stopped me.

“Wait where are you going?” He asked and I looked at him confused.

“I just assumed that these things the–”

“Do you want to stay the night??” He asked and I was caught off guard.

“Yeah sure.” I said as he threw me one of his rock shirts and patted the spot next to him.

I laid next to him and he brought his arms over me.

We spent the whole night talking to the point where we knocked out. I woke up the next morning to an empty spot and was confused. I looked at my phone and realized it was already midday.

“Bro is she still there?” I heard an unfamiliar voice. I quickly changed and placed my ear to the door.

“Yeah she was a great fuck. I thought maybe we’d have a great morning one to.” Calum’s voice rang and I couldn’t help but feel hurt.

“So was she really a great fuck? Like I knew that we dared you but I didn’t think you’d go through with it.” Another voice said and I was surprised.

“It’s always the uglies one.” A forth voice said and a slight tear fell from my eye. I wiped it and grabbed my bag. I opened the door and three strangers and Calum all looked at me.

“Morning I was–”

“Save it. I’m going home and don’t ever fucking call me.” I said looking directly at Calum and I walked away shoving him hard.

I got out of his stupid apartment and made my way toward the elevator I stepped inside and clicked the floor button. The doors were about to close but then I saw a figure come between them. I rolled my eyes and Calum stood in front of me.

“Listen I didn’t mean what I said–”

“A fucking dare. Seriously?” I asked and he leaned on the wall next to me.

“That’s how it was at first but then we talked all night and I really liked you. I just told the guys what they want to hear so they wouldn’t bitch me out. I really like you and want to get to know you better.” He blurted out and I was confused.

“A dare. I just don’t get how guys can be such jerks.” I said looking up at the ceiling.

“Trust me I don’t get why were jerks either. I can’t apologize for all guys but I’m tweaky sorry for me.” He said and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Calum I just–”

“Come on a date with me. There will be booze but not as much to get us wasted as last night. Plus there doesn’t have to be sex.” He said and I looked at him surprised.

“No sex? Really?” I asked with a small chuckle and he laughed.

“I mean I can’t say that you’ll be able to resist this awesome body. But if you don’t want sex then there won’t be sex.” He said and the doors opened.

“Fine Calum. Last chance. Pick me up tonight at 8. I’ll text you my address.” I said before walking out.

Some weird tweaky dude was fighting a bush in the parking lot by the grocery store and Brett was trying to figure out what he was doing, then he looped around while we were parking and almost tripped on our car while he was carrying the plant he uprooted and then he shouted that Brett looks like Daniel Bryan and ran away.

This is my newest cat, currently named Cayenne. She was a foster of mine, rescued from being feral, and socialized. However, although she was adopted, she immediately reverted to feral habits in her new owner’s house and I ended up having to come retrieve her. (She spent three weeks basically hiding under his fridge and only coming out in the wee hours of the morning.) 

She ended up staying with me, since she apparently believes I’m the only human she doesn’t need to be terrified of. She’s still kind of high-strung and tweaky, but that’s just how she rolls. She has the longest ear-tufts I’ve -ever- seen on a cat that wasn’t long haired! 

Anyway, my conundrum at the moment is that ‘Cayenne’ doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. I’d like to find her a good name that fits in better with the rest of the Swarm (who all have pretty nerdy names, ranging from Leeloo to Tidus and Bonnie (of Bonnie and Clyde fame)). Suggestions are welcome!

(submitted by scarletdisciple)