The ocean rolls, upends
Releasing danger blue
Look out with me
I’ll tell you what I see

A life for us, unending
Swells of liquid joy
With nothing in the end
To have worried about

A rise a fall is life
A metal coaster storm
Salient sight of distant shores
A hand in mine and I’m all yours

These ups and downs will land us
Home

@katrinnac

Talk-Fu #2

Our second podcast will be recorded on Sunday (03/26/2017)! Our guest for the evening will be none other than the matron known as Meg (aka @just-4-thought)!

As with our first broadcast, we are looking for people to promote during our video. If you wish to submit your art, photography, music, and/or Etsy webpage for us to promote on our next podcast, please send @talk-fu, @strikezilla01, or @madworlddiary a message.

Thanks for reading, listening, and the overall support!

quantum

​I find myself looking for you
often.

I have to shake my head,
clear my conscience,
when I see you
on the train, in a window;
every beautiful
dark-haired pedestrian is you,
under derby hats at Santa Ana,
smoking against the flaking paint
of the shuttered Corner Bar.

I want to debunk
these laws of nature,
the ones that don’t allow
me to summon you,
from thought to fruition,
apparition to reality,
from there to here.

But I know the truth.

I am only a petty thief,
an emotional vampire,
gripping my fists as if
it would steal you away
from your tranquil life
into the disturbing river
of my own.

think of me, your idol

stephanie w.
oppose me, you wane
that in night’s shifting idol
acidic words, silent engorge
that melted soon
light’s dangers
 
calmly, a stutter brings
all glory to art’s flow
believed but breathless, more
 
soft and a mired song;
eyes widely shut beyond
all hell, whispering free
arisen cradle’s twilight
 
and would I bleed, for thee…
defying every welt
 
that burns, ferocious,
in His sight –
dark yet abounding,
mirror

11 Questions about writing

Tagged by @madworlddiary

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

I don’t really count my drafts as works in progress, as they are more like snippets or jotted down thoughts - i tend to write on the fly
I’m STILL yet to get my book of poetry sorted and published, so i guess that counts as one? 

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

I might consider one day, but really i don’t have the patience for anything over a few pages in length :/  It’s like the ideas rush my fingers and what a novelist might put in several chapters, i squeeze into a page 

3) Do you prefer real books or ebooks?

Real books 100% It’s a ritualistic thing and so, has a certain spiritual nature to it. Also yes, that smell <3 

4) When did you start writing?

I can’t even remember, but i started poetry specifically around 9yrs of age, i even had a couple of girls in my class ask me to write poetry for them (not FOR them, for them to USE) bc i had a way with words most 9yr olds don’t lol

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

Anyone that will read it really, as long as i feel they can appreciate poetry 

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

Outdoors if possible, at work bc convenient

7) Favourite childhood book?

Seriously, sooooo many… anything by Roald Dahl, CS Lewis, Mark Twain - There is this one book - a collection of poetry that contains my favorite poem ever (The Highway Man by Alfred Noyes) that got so ratty my stepdad had to re-bind and cover it lol… Mum gave it to me and i still have it, most likely will be passed down to my kids someday

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

I write when the words want out, it can be for fun, on request, for publication or money… whatever. I guess that means for fun overall, bc it’s a joy to write <3 

9) Pen and paper or computer?

Computer now but i used to have PILES of scrap paper with my scribbles all over…. long gone now :(

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

I did try that University of Ohio(?Iowa?) poetry writers workshops thing, but as i said before… short attention span. (It’s any artist biggest hurdle i think)

11) What inspires you to write?

Mostly nature, love and sorrow of course, observations of people

Tagging @lizletsgo (though, my darling fiancee is rarely on here these days) @mikefrawley @wordrummager @kaylapocalypse aaaaaand @desayunogratis bc i’d love to see if he does this serious-like or typically Wolfie fashion :P

I’m trying to get over you, I’m trying so goddamned hard. And some mornings I wake up and think, yes, maybe I finally am free. Free from my echoing thoughts of you. Free from the constant battle of loving you and losing you. But then other mornings I wake up and all I can think about is how your eyes look with sunlight in them and how your face looks just before you break into a smile.
Maybe we aren’t meant to be together, maybe not now, maybe not ever.
And I don’t wanna have a single grain of hope, because blessed are those with no expectations.
But sometimes I think against my own will that what if we break all the laws?
Maybe we’ll forget each other soon but what if we meet again someday in the future, and in one look we’ll feel the ache in our hearts of our incomplete love, and maybe then I’ll be right for you, and you’ll be right for me?
Maybe we are meant to be together, maybe not now, but maybe someday.

Do you remember the time you fell down on your knees and begged the world to stop spinning? Love, it happened. You made it happen. On nights when crying was your only option, you closed your eyes and imagined your room to be filled with stars. The world stopped moving. All you could hear was your breathing. “Let the world claim you tonight,” you whispered to yourself. You found solace. You met Melancholy the first time, then and there, you knew you were alive. The moment you opened your eyes, the world was set to motion. And all you could utter were the words ‘I am alive.’

Your grandmother was right when she told you that you love too much. But look at where it got you. You have made a garden out of the barren land next door. You created a night sky filled with words of love. You have tucked the littlest hope and care in other people’s pockets. You have given away all of your flowers in bloom in hopes of erasing the pain in their eyes. You gave away all of yourself, and love, that’s okay. Go and give some more. Give and give and give until you learn how to let go.

There will be days when waking up is as hard as getting out of bed while the rain hums you to sleep. There will be a lot of meals that will go to waste and yet you will feel as heavy as the world being pulled to oblivion. It’s okay. Let yourself feel the heaviness of the loneliness. Of the world’s snarky remarks. Of the anxiety and panic attacks. Feel. Feel some more. Do not be afraid of tasting the blood. Do not run away from the depth of the ocean. Let the world swallow you whole and you will wake up, one day, with strength you never thought was possible.

Fall in love over and over and over again. May it be with the budding flower you see on the street. The stranger you met in the pedestrian lane with sad eyes. The children’s laughter. Everything. Fall in love with the littlest thing. Give your heart to that guy who told you 'Thank you for choosing me.“ Love the man who have shown you what it means to be weak, how it feels to be held in someone’s arms. Kiss him and make him remember your name in his mouth. Be honest about the things you feel because it’s not everyday you find people who see you behind your armor. Be weak. Be vulnerable. Go and fall in love some more.

You will survive. And you will continue counting the moving stars.

—  an open letter to my younger self // hbg
The moment you let somebody into your heart you’re taking a risk…
Not everybody’s going to hurt you of course but from the moment you begin to care for someone you’re giving them that power and whether or not they use it is completely beyond your control. It’s terrifying I know – but it’s the risk you take when you love somebody. That’s not a negative attitude on life or love – that’s just how it is and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
When you lose it feels like you always lose… like every relationship ends in tears and that this is just the latest in a long line of risks that didn’t pay off. But there was happiness before it ended – if there wasn’t you wouldn’t be so upset about it, so it’s not really a loss because you had love. Not everything has to go the way you wanted it to for you to have gained something valuable. Trust me, the longer you live the more you’ll realize that life rarely goes the way you want it to… but that doesn’t make it a loss.
It didn’t work out and it hurts I know, but take it from me – you didn’t lose. You had love, you had happiness, you opened your heart and connected with another human being and just because it didn’t last forever doesn’t mean it wasn’t worthwhile. The people who lose are the ones who close their heart or don’t know how to love… The ones who lose are the people who will never have the happiness you’ve had because they live in emotional isolation and will never experience what it’s like to have a connection with somebody…
You may have been hurt, but you were brave enough to open your heart in the first place and one day, when you’re ready, I hope you open it again for somebody else… because the only way you lose is if you don’t…
—  Ranata Suzuki | Love is worth the risk

look up to skies -
every 10,000 years they emerge
climbing, lithe, from the claw marks the devil
has strewn in air like petals on deathbeds

dragging tails like zippers to other worlds
mirrored like peacocks, razor sharp quills,
brains like snakes slinking across the land

- catching us unawares -
manic with laughter from mouths fresh from kills

always wondering why we stand by
as they coil around us, always
stand still and watch one after another
letting the great fragmented beast ingest
it all

@katrinnac

Everyone has that one person they can’t quite get over.
You can move forward with your life, you can find happiness elsewhere but every once in a while your mind will always linger back to this person. It just feels… unfinished… like there are things left unsaid.
But the funny thing is, even if you find this person and say all the things you want to… even if you do this time and time again, you will never get rid of that feeling. You will always feel unsettled and uneasy about the way it ended because the truth is it’s not about anything left unsaid or undone… What’s unresolved has nothing to do with words or actions – it’s your feelings. And it doesn’t matter how many times you go back to this person, weather you confront them or write them a letter or call them on the phone to say the things you feel you need to say to get closure… none of it will make a difference because deep down inside, for better or for worse… this person will always have a piece of your heart. Nothing you say or do will ever change that and it’s pointless to try so you may as well accept it.
No matter what you do… it will never be over between you.
Sometimes I still get these urges to contact you.
It feels like pure desperation…  Like my skin is crawling and my eyes are burning and I just want you back in my life so badly….
And I don’t know why? Where these sudden urges come from?
Why do I still do this, even after all this time?!
It’s like I'm getting out, I'm almost clear…. and then suddenly I feel like I would do absolutely anything just to have you back in my life again.
Even for a single moment…. Just to see you, talk to you - ANYTHING!
It’s like I don’t WANT to be out, I still want to be in love with you because in my mind, loving you equates to happiness and I just want that back… just for one second.
But I have to remind myself it’s not healthy. 
Loving you is not like it used to be - it's not real anymore.
It’s not happy, it’s not positive…. and it’s gone and I can’t go back.
All I can do is put the phone down, blink back the tears … and keep moving forward.
—  Ranata Suzuki
Do you know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love you back? It’s like using up all your ink and spilling your heart to someone that can’t read. It’s wanting them to be happy even if it meant without you. It’s knowing that they might love you back someday but chances are It’s because they feel bad and only love you cos you loved them first. it’s like wearing your heart on your skin with no bones or their hands to protect it. But you don’t stop loving someone because they don’t love you back.” Her voice sounded frail.
“And i wanted loving you to be my best mistake but I can’t help but think maybe you don’t deserve love because you wouldn’t know what the hell to do with it.
—  v.m //excerpts #22
and i will tell you 
for as long as you 
need to hear it, 
and even when you don’t, 
that i love the way your 
laugh sounds in the wind
and how i get distracted
by the colour of your eyes.
that the curve of your neck,
leading down to your shoulder, 
past your collarbone is 
my favourite place.
and i will tell you, 
that i find you infuriating, 
frustrating and you’re determined
to be difficult to love, but simply,
that you are wonderful to me.
—  and i will tell you how wonderful you are whenever you need to hear it, and also when you don’t.