tw: unfunny

Problems with the father
  • William afton: hey Michael!
  • Michael afton: yes father?
  • William afton: *pushes Michael off of the stairs*
  • Michael afton: *falls down and rolls into the elevator*
  • William afton: find your sister. I won't let you come back without her.
  • *3o years later*
  • Michael afton [springtrap]: WHERE IS SHE?!
  • William afton [ laughing in his grave]: she's dead.
ons characters as things ive said

yuu: i thought we were supposed to… oh

mika: hello, police? i lost my brain cells. some dumb bitch made me forget them

shinoa: *sticks tongue out and blows raspberry*

mitsuba: what? no. i’d never say that. [to something she really said]

yoichi: i’m an angel. i’m pure

kimizuki: stop calling me gay because of my glasses

krul: i may be small but you’re still beneath me

You know, I’m like the most unfunny writer in the world. Like, I think to myself, haha, I’ll insert this great joke I spent five hours coming up with into my story for creative writing class *reads it out loud in class* *stares at own paper in confusion while everybody stares at me in confusion* what was I thinking that was supposed to be funny?? Or I write a poem that’s supposed to be funny but instead ends up being about soul-crushing guilt…. Or I try to outline a video, hmm, maybe I can react to a thing NOPE IM GONNA TALK ABOUT *OBLIVION* INSTEAD!

I don’t get it. I thought with all the hundreds of 5 star reviews this would be a great Christmas present for my 4 yo girl. Hilarious? Not at all. She’s never laughed. None of my other older children have laughed. We’ve got thousands of books in this house. Stacks and shelves of children’s books. This will not be a hit or a book we return to. I’ve read it twice. I don’t think it’s going to get better after a 3rd or 4th time. I’m truly baffled as to how this has so many positive reviews. It’s just completely boring and unexciting. It’s a pigeon who whines and begs to drive a bus. What is funny about a pigeon whining to drive a bus?!