tw: unchecked privilege

Not even once


enjoying the lengthy summer provided by President Obama’s Funky Fresh Commission on Anthropogenic Climate Adjustment for the Betterment of American Society

thinking about planting some seeds

go to the garden supply section of my local corner store (because we must always buy local)

pick up a packet of seeds for all colors of the visible spectrum, and a couple of the infrared and ultraviolet wavelengths, just to be safe

get on my fixed gear bike and start pedalling home, flagellating the entire way as penance for anyone who is differently-abled or tetrapodal-phobic

get home, head to my backyard

tie a bandana around my head, have my spade and watering can with me

plunge my shovel into the peaty earth

hear a shudder and groan as spirits rise from the crack in the earth I have created

‘FOOLISH MAN,’ booms a voice that seems to come at me from all sides,’ DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE RAPED ME, MOTHER EARTH?’

I look at my rake

it’s covered with blood, my semen, and small planetoid fetuses

I gnash my teeth and tear out my hair, weeping at my foolish, Patriarchy-engendered foolishness

as the CIS Police comes to take me away, an officer, looks at me and spits

Ze takes off my bandana and looks at me with utter disgust

'So… little whiteboy thought it’d be fun to play Jamestown huh?’

Zir CIS police partner looks from zis wheelchair and laughs

'That’s a charge of cultural appropriation on top of a Class 3 Rape of Mother Gaea’

Ze grabs my dick, still covered with dirt and little bits of planet

'Where you’re going… we’re gonna fill you up with all the culture you need…’