tw: physical abuse

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I want everyone to watch this video. 
Philip DeFranco is talking about a YouTube channel called DaddyOFive, ran by a man blogging about his family’s everyday life and regularly uploading “prank” videos. 
This man and his wife prank each other and their children, who are also made to prank each other for more material they put into monetized videos. 

As you will see in this video, the way they treat their children (especially Cody, who I assume to be 7-9 years old) is outright horrid and abusive, though. 
Cody seems to be the only one of the children who gets visibly upset over his parents’ “pranks” fairly frequently, begging them to leave him alone and quit messing with him and yelling at them to stop.

In the first clip that’s shown in DeFranco’s video, the parents pour invisible ink all over the floor and blame Cody for it, filming his reaction.
He is shown yelling and crying, nearly panicking and insisting that he has nothing to do with it, but they don’t stop.
Instead, they keep yelling and cursing at him at the top of their lungs, only to tell him and his brother that it’s “just a prank” once they stopped crying.

Another clip shows the mother filming Cody and yelling at him for not being able to “take a joke”, manipulating him and putting all the blame on him instead of apologizing.
They constantly follow him around with their camera, not giving him any personal space and filming as many of his reactions as possible to humiliate him in front of thousands of viewers.

But it gets worse than that.
A different clip shows the father pushing Cody face first into a bookshelf. He is then shown crying on his bed, with a bleeding nose, next to a blood-stained pillow.
His father then claimed that it was “red ink” and that he simply had a scrape underneath his nose.

On top of that, the man who runs this channel uploaded a video titled “BLOCKING ALL THE HATERS”, ranting about the people complaining about their videos and pointing out how horribly they treat their kids in front of his children, even making sure they listen to every word he says.

In DeFranco’s video, it becomes obvious that they constantly manipulate, emotionally abuse and physically abuse their children, egging them on and keeping them under control by making them say things like: “At least you don’t hit us like most parents!” 

I encourage everyone to watch this video to get a better idea of the situation. If you can, that is. 

Social services have been called on this family before, but no consequences have followed

SOOO...

Karrueche just got a restraining order against Chris Brown. She also admitted that while he was on probation for assaulting Rihanna, he punched her in the stomach TWICE and pushed her down a flight of stairs….. he threatened her friends and also said he shoot her bc if he can’t have her no one will. This is really breaking my heart. I’m so happy she finally left him and has been focusing on herself lately.

“At least I don’t beat you” is a threat.

Normalizing abuse is what abusers do best. They will convince you that however brutal their behaviour toward you, they could be worse to you and it would be justified because of your own flaws.

When someone who scares and controls you brings up a different way they could hurt you, and suggests that you should be grateful they aren’t taking that option, they consider it a viable choice.

It is a threat, a reminder that they are willing and able to treat you even more violently if you don’t behave the way they wish. Only someone who wants to terrify you into compliance would bring up the posibility of beating you like it’s a real option.

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Warning: This video is not as disturbing as the previous one, but still contains clips that show Cody being abused by his parents and siblings.

For anyone who’s as interested in this case as I am, Philip DeFranco uploaded another video giving us an update on the DaddyOFive scandal, which has gained lots of attention since yesterday.

Again, for anyone who’s unable to watch the video, I’ll give a quick summary of the video’s contents.

DaddyOFive has posted an “apology” in response to the negative attention they have been getting.

Now, it’s clear as a day that this is not an apology, nor does it make anything better. They are straight up lying, knowing that their loyal fans will defend them.
In fact, their channel has gained even more subscribers after Mike Martin posted the video titled “BLOCKING THE HATERS!” in which he defends his and his wife’s actions.

To make matters worse, they’ve uploaded a video which is all about them getting ready to go to Disneyland (or Disney World? I can’t quite remember). Watching this video reveals that they are not taking Cody with them because he “didn’t earn to go”.
His mother then explains why, telling them that he “put poop everywhere, several times”.

Putting the fact that sharing something like this about your child with thousands of strangers is not only extremely harmful but disrespectful aside, DeFranco tells us that this is behavior that could be linked to mental issues like PTSD, providing sufferers a feeling of control and a way to express their feelings.

She then proceeds to call Cody crazy and that she wished he would act like a normal “child”, putting the blame on him. Again.

Of course, seeing this made me boil with rage.
Personally, I feel like it’s clear as a day that this is just another, incredibly hurtful way to punish Cody for “causing them so much trouble”. They’re excluding him from their family, making him feel unwanted and unloved for being “out of control”.
Instead of changing their ways, realizing their mistakes and showing their child at least a little bit of love and respect, they exclude him from their family which is extremely painful for anyone, especially a young child.

They don’t reward Cody for anything, they don’t apologize to him for anything, they humiliate him on the internet on a regular basis just to get him to play along and it’s making me sick, to be honest with you.

On an additional note, the video above includes a clip of the father slamming his fist onto Cody’s wrist when he reaches on something, followed by DeFranco pointing out that he has bruises on his arm.

His parents have not learned anything and I expect them to upload more “positive” videos in the future to create a false picture of harmony and earn sympathy. 
And I know people will fall for it.
Something needs to be done immediately.

where’s all the support for abuse victims that were abused by friends, or even just acquaintances, but still couldn’t get away?

where’s the support for abuse victims that heard “they’re hitting you because they have a crush you!”, or “it’s just a scratch/a bruise, it’s not like they’re killing you!” even if they were crying, and begging adults to do something about it?

for victims that heard “they’re just joking, they don’t really mean that!”, and “insults can’t hurt you, ignore them and you’ll be fine!” over and over again, feeling more and more worthless every single time?

I’m here for you. Your abuse is valid, even if no one talks about it, and you have every reason to suffer from it. You’re not “exaggerating it”. You are a victim too.

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Spread this shit around

friendly reminder to women there’s no acceptable reason for anyone to stop you on the street, to startle you, scare you, demand your attention, notice, conversation, or phone number, nobody has the right to interrupt your day with their comments, catcalls, threats, or compliments, you do not have to be approachable to anyone for any reason, you do not have to make excuses for those who harrass you, you are not here for them, you go and get done what you want to do, the world will have to find a way to go on without you having to waste your energy and time on entitled people

y'know what sucks being a victim of abuse? Being able to pick up certain things a person does. Like when their facial expressions change, their tone of voice changes, their hand gestures change, the way they act around you, the way they talk, their jokes. Little stuff and when they get angry it’s like you see the one who abused you even if it isn’t you they are angry at it’s the fact that it’s direct towards you, you start to freak out because all you see is the one who abused you. So when they start yelling or cussing or just seem unhappy you panic and your mind races with “don’t hurt me” and you immediately say “i’m sorry. please don’t yell at me.” without thinking because you don’t see that person all you see is the one who abused you. It sucks because it seems like you can never get out of that hole of fear no matter who you associate with.

Shout out to the verbally abused kids who are told it doesn’t count because there are no bruises.
Shout out to the abused kids who aren’t taken seriously because they were acting up/asking for it/there are no marks to ‘prove’ it.
Shout out to the manipulated kids whose parents guilt them into thinking they deserve those shitty words and actions they get.
Shout out to everyone and anyone who is abused or has been abused.
You are strong and wonderful and I hope that one day you can get away and be happy and have the life you want.
No one deserves that kind of treatment. I love you.

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As a person who was emotionally and physically abused as a child (even at Cody’s age), I am disgusted these people are profiting off of their child’s abuse and I’m even more disgusted that people are egging this on. I’m livid that Cody has to go through this day in and day out, yet people don’t see a problem with it? There’s a fine line between swatting your child’s bum (not even hard) for a last resort of punishment than fucking pushing your child face first into a shelf while making him bleed. If they put that on camera, what are they doing behind the scenes? I’ve never felt so disgusted in my life. How can people cheer them on and think this is okay? These parents deserve to be behind bars and have their children placed in a better home. Absolutely sick with how people think this behavior is okay.

I remember the first hit,
It came from your mouth and not your fist
“You are just a stupid bitch”
That should’ve been the end of it.

But I couldn’t walk away,
So your words would hit me every day
Until your words were replaced
By the hands across my face.

I remember when you choked me
Your hands like rough fabric my tears were soaking,
I closed my eyes, silently hoping
That you would kill me- no more coping.

I remember that last hit,
Right before I called it quits
Screaming “I can’t fucking take this shit”
While my tears and blood dripped down your fist.

I managed to unlock this pen,
I packed up all my things and ran,
I finally escaped you then-
Never to see you again.

—  [s.bucks]
#25 // excerpt from a book I’ll never write
Why?

why are abusers always portrayed as men with anger issues? Why aren’t woman portrayed as abusers? Woman can abuse. Why can only heterosexual relationships be portrayed as abusive? Your lesbian girlfriend can be abusive. Your gay boyfriend can be abusive. Why is the bigger, stronger one in the relationship portrayed as an abuser? The tiny shy one can abuse. ANY RELATIONSHIP CAN BE ABUSIVE.

When you were a child, it seemed as if everyone had easy access to you. Whenever the abuser wanted to have access to your body, s/he just reached out and grabbed. When your parents wanted to, they could hit, push or grab you. Now as an adult you may still believe as if you have no rights over your own body, but the truth is, you do.
—  The Right to Innocence by Beverly Engel
Being the oldest..

When you’re the oldest in a family, particularly an abusive family, you most likely feel like the protector or some sort of guard or comrade amongst your siblings, most likely those closer to your age because you can relate to them more

And when you’re the oldest, especially in the weining hours of you living in said abusive house hold you may feel some guilt

By being the oldest you might be simultaneously one of the most privileged of your siblings but also the least

Most privileged because you are close to the finish line of freedom, simply due to a birth certificate

Most privileged because you will be able to stand up to them, even if its for a little bit, the soonest

Most privileged because you are the closest to ending your relationship with THOSE people or THAT person who has internally or externally damaged you when they were supposed to build you

But you are also the least privileged when growing up because you experienced the most abuse simply because you had to be the responsible one; something along the lines of being treated like a child when you had to have adult responsibilities

And now that you’re crossing the finish line and plotting what to do once you escape the thorny maze, you may be worried about your siblings and what they will do

Inevitably there will be some sadness

Unfortunately in the conditions you lived in there will be some sadness, but don’t forget they care about you

They want you to be happy

They don’t want you to be chained down with them, they want you to flourish free from your tyrants and be there when they escape

As I reblogged from a post of someone who was a younger sibling “but don’t forget about us, we want to see you happy on the other side when we leave”