tw: physical abuse

Reminder that you do not have to feel bad about not wishing an abusive father happy father’s day. You do not owe them a happy father’s day. Their abuse is and was unjustified and you deserve to maintain the recovery you are fighting so hard for.

Facing uncomfortable truths about abuse

This week has been about facing truths, some of which I wish I never had to face, and I know that Mr. Juulna has had to face some pretty harsh truths as I have spoken them to him. Some he has accepted, at least at face value, and some I don’t think he will ever be willing to face, let alone accept.

One of which (is a vast meta umbrella) is that he abused me.

But… it was in a subtle way. Before last Tuesday, July 4th (yes, apparently fate decided to be dramatic with me and its timing), I was unwilling to truly accept that I was abused. 

I wasn’t being physically abused. No, not often. (Yeah, and isn’t that a ridiculous sounding statement.)

But subtle, emotional abuse, is still abuse.

Keep reading

PSA for kids close to moving out

Im a junior three months away from the summer and I need to plan out my life and become an adult really soon to efficiently cut off my abusive parents, so I have some adulty tips and advice for people who will soon be gone but are totally confused on how to do the adult thing

☆Learn what credit is and get a credit card as soon as you can while youre employed
Credit is basically a score you get to track how ‘reliable’ you are in terms of paying back the bank (which is how credit cards work. Ex: you pay 20 dollars for some shoes with a credit card, the bank pays it. At the end of the month you repay the bank 20 dollars for that purchase) as opposed to a debit card where you put money in and spend it basically like a digital wallet, but you need credit. Many loaners (college kids im looking at you) and landlords look at this to see if you are reliable to pay rent or loans. So make sure you get a job for at least a year before you move out to collect credit

**KNOW YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER
This is super important for documents and benefits, like insurance, passports, and even jobs.

** have some form of identification (drivers licences work best)

*try to get your license as soon as possible, not only is transportation vital but its also one of the best forms of identification

**have three copies of your birthcertificate

I know im probably missing a bunch so please comment more but i hope this helped ❤❤

anonymous asked:

prompt: ros helping benvolio after he's been physically hurt (possibly by his uncle if you're interested in that dynamic?)

She grits her teeth at Benvolio’s sharp intake of breath when she presses the cloth to his cheek, wishing that Livia was there instead of her. No, it isn’t true, she thinks to herself as she wills the alcohol fumes away, for she wouldn’t let even Livia take care of Benvolio in her place. Not when she finally has him sitting down and letting her take care of his wounds, not when he needs peace and quiet as much as he needs the blood to stop pouring out of his open cheek.

“I despise them,” she whispers, not even attempting to hide the anger in her voice. “Him most of all.”

The cloth turns crimson, and the only reason Rosaline doesn’t panic if for the knowledge that facial wound always look worse than they actually are. As long as she puts pressure on it for long enough, it will stop bleeding and not leave a scar on his skin.

“It is but a scratch,” Benvolio replies, and Rosaline hates that even more, for it comes with the knowledge that Benvolio’s uncle indeed did worse to him in the past. Details are not needed, for Benvolio’s shrivelling behaviour when facing his uncle is nothing like the smug, witty man she has come to love. Rosaline knows a scared man when she sees one.

“You clear your family’s name and bring peace back to Verona, and that is all the thanks you get?”

Keep reading

Heres to the graduates

Heres to the graduates!
To the graduates who could never get shit done and barely passed
To the graduates who could never go out and had to watch everyone else grow up and mature while they were confined to their house
To the graduates who snuck out and grew up too quick because they were never allowed out
To the graduates who never mustered the energy to be present
To the graduates whos only home was school and were always present
To the graduatess who could only be themselves at school
And for the ones who couldnt
To the graduates moving out asap
And the graduates who have to stay home for a summer or four year term
To the graduates escaping a fucked up home
Regardles
Heres to you
You fucking made it!!

When Dean comes to, his head is pounding painfully. It feels like it’s swelling behind his forehead, and he rubs his eyes, groaning quietly. He’s passed out on top of the bed apparently, still in his clothes; he’s even wearing his shoes.

The bottle of whiskey on the bedside table isn’t quite finished off, and he reaches for it without even thinking. He gulps the few inches down; feels it burn down his throat and settle like a familiar, comforting burn in his gut.

He closes his eyes, and waits for everything to ease.

“Dean.”

Sam’s voice is tired and low, like he doesn’t really want to speak at all. He’s in an armchair in the corner, looking with a tight jaw at the bottle in Dean’s hand. Sam’s got a black eye, and Dean instantly realizes why the knuckles on his right hand are sore.

Dean feels his stomach drop with shame and disgust, because he’s done it again.

“Sam,” he says hoarsely. “I’m so sorry.”

Sam swallows. His left eye looks swollen and bruised, even in the dim morning light. “Yeah,” he says, tonelessly. “You always are.”

Dean rests his head in one hand, the other one clenched around the bottle. As always, the bottomless self-loathing settles in his chest like an uninvited old friend.

“I’m quitting now. I promise you, Sammy. No more.” Dean says into the room. It reeks of booze and violence, and Dean knows he’s said those words into a hundred filthy motel rooms before.

He’s meant them every single time; and every time, Sam replies the same way.

“I won’t leave you, Dean.”

ha ha ha

last night at dinner my parents were talking about how they don’t consider themselves “yellers” (first of all idek how this came up and second of all, their definition of a “yeller” is someone who resorts to yelling to control people, so basically someone who yells most of the time) and i was like “ohhhkkaaaayyyyy” bc both my parents yell ??? 

and they were like “nooooooooo we’re not yellers someone like [my grandmother] would be a yeller!” (my grandmother abused my dad physically and emotionally when he was a kid). so i just sat there like holy shit they don’t realize that to be a “yeller” (i think they basically meant abuser) you don’t have to be yelling 24/7. 

so yes, to people wondering if their situation is abuse even though their abuser doesn’t yell 24/7, it is.

idk if anyone has said this but


unpopular opinion: Danielle the “Cash Me Outside How Bout Dah?” girl is being abused by her mother, who took her on Dr. Phil to exploit her and get some attention. Now Danielle is hated nationwide for her definitely inappropriate behavior but nobody else finds it suspicious that she and her mother get into loads of fist fights and stuff??

Somebody somewhere said Quintessa talks to Optimus like he’s a bratty child.

NO.

That’s not how you treat a child, not even if they are being bratty and rude.

The way she treats Optimus is straight up physical and emotional abuse.

I’ll break it down. I posted about this before, but fuck it I’m doing it again.

All pics were dug off Google. Gifs were made by me with help from Youtube and gifs.com


Optimus lands in a less than optimal condition. He’s been in stasis for who-knows-how-long. He’s got dents from space rocks that probably hit him while he was out. He’s half-frozen, as in you see ice fall off him when he looks up. He’s probably in pain because space is really fricken cold.

And he’s pissed off.

Optimus walks in to Quintessa all “I’ll kill you!” because he believes Quintessa is the person behind the Seeds and as a result is a direct threat to Earth. He’s trying to protect a place and people he values.

Quintessa, despite her tiny size, has powers that make her able to render Optimus helpless against her without effort. She hurls an energy blast at his arm to knock his sword from his hand, calls forth the chains that restrain him and shoots him in the upper body / head with a stronger energy blast that knocks him into his knees. This is an establishment of dominance, which she completes by saying, “You dare to strike your god?” Her voice is very cold, angry sounding.

Now the emotional and physical abuse begins as Infernocus walks behind Optimus.

Quintessa spits at Optimus, “Your war doomed Cybertron.”

This is when Infernocus starts to beat Optimus and grab his head to further immobilize him and force him to look at Quintessa. It’s right as Optimus says, “Megatron started the war!”

Quintessa takes hold of Optimus’ chin and gaslights him with this accusation: “You destroyed your world, you fool!” 

Keep in mind, Optimus launched the Allspark (Cube) into space. Cybertron was already dying, and this would seal its fate. An act of desperation to stop the war. Cybertron was probably screwed no matter what choice Optimus made. He wrestled with the decision before and after he made it. This is what Quintessa hooks into when she gaslights Optimus by making it sound like the loss of Cybertron is entirely his fault. His fault, nobody else’s. We all know the real blame lays on everyone involved on the war, yet Quintessa puts all that blame on Optimus alone. 

Think about that for a moment. That’s what Optimus is doing in this scene. I bet he sees the face of every soldier he ever lost or killed in battle as well as the Cube zooming into space. It’s all flashing through him. He’s silent, stunned by her words. And the slap happens while he’s still reeling from what she said to him. It’s not a little love tap. Optimus grunts in pain, sparks fly and the blow jerks his head to the side. He doesn’t turn his head, her slap does.

It’s interesting how the red mark doesn’t just appear. It starts small and propagates until it “solidifies”. It’s like you see the physical pain of her slap and accusations / gaslighting manifesting as glowing gold light spreading on the left side of his face.  Optimus realizes she’s done something to him; his face is twitchy with a look of pain and fear. 

And after that, Quintessa’s tone of voice changes to something more gentle and condescending. There may be dialogue missing because all I have are somebody’s low quality thirty-second long clips to verify, but she basically says “My perfect creation… you’re going to fix it, or the race of Transformers dies forever.”

Then she runs her hand down his cheek and smiles. “I made you. You are mine to command.” (Human parent abusers might say, “I’m your mom / dad / relative, so you have to do what I say.”)

The whole time, Optimus just looks confused, hurt and scared. It’s a huge contrast to how utterly pissed off he was mere seconds ago. 

Quintessa has taken every doubt he’s ever had and twisted it to destabilize him. She knows she’s got him when he avoids eye contact and remains silent instead of throwing verbal barbs back at her. No more “What have you done to my world? I’ll kill you!” He’s just…silent.

Something interesting of note is how Optimus keeps avoiding eye contact even as Quintessa lifts his chin to turn his face towards her after the cheek caress. This would be perfectly normal behavior for an autistic person like me, but I don’t headcanon Bayverse Optimus as autistic. Eye contact for an autistic person hyper-activates a part of the brain related to faces in a way that doesn’t bother non-autistic people. Depending on the culture, NT’s who place a lot of importance on eye contact avoid it when they feel defeated or are afraid of somebody. 

Quintessa maintains eye contact the whole time, even leaning into Optimus’ personal space as if to tell him he’s not allowed to have that anymore. She knows she’s got him when he’s avoiding her gaze. It takers her less than five minutes to utterly destroy him mentally.

A “skilled” abuser can tear somebody down real fast, and she does exactly that. She’s totally screwing with his mind.

She starts feeding Optimus lies about the Staff being stolen and basically sweet-talks / orders him to get it back. That’s where the “Do you seek redemption, Prime? Do you?” line comes from, to which Optimus replies, “My maker, I do.”

This leads to even more abuse and there are other things they discuss while Quintessa is making the chains zap Optimus. I’m sorta guessing this is part of what she considers his “redemption”. She basically groomed the hell out of him to accept her treatment of him as normal. He’s making noises of pain, but not fighting it because she conditioned him to see it as fixing the problem she convinced him he caused. I can’t say what she tells him without spoiling the movie for those who haven’t seen it yet, but Quintessa feeding Optimus this information while inflicting pain on him. To avoid spoilers, all I can say is she tells him Earth has the Staff and something on Earth can rebuild Cybertron. She convinces Optimus that this thing on Earth is something that must die for Cybertron to live. 

The chilling part is Optimus mumbles “yes” as she’s saying “Earth will die, and Cybertron will live.”

Optimus accepts what she says as true. She has totally squashed his will and twisted his identity, and you know the damage is complete when Optimus says “I will fight anyone who stands in my way.”

Abusers find out what gets under their target’s skin and they will hook themselves under it and rip whenever they please to cause maximum pain whether it’s physical or mental. Then they play ‘move the goal posts’ where they imply doing this one thing will appease them, but when their victim does that thing it’s suddenly not good enough anymore. 

She preys on Optimus after he’s been betrayed by nearly everyone he has ever trusted or looked up to. The way she talks to him almost sounds like she’s saying do my bidding and I will never betray you while literally betraying him. I shudder to wonder what else Quintessa had planned had he been the one to hand her the staff.

But the scene with the chains and dialogue is such a powerful scene. It shows how abuse doesn’t take long to destroy someone, especially if that someone is already vulnerable for other reasons. And it’s not Optimus’ fault that this happened. Yes, he walked into her ‘space’, but she, or whoever made the Seeds, became a threat to him first. The Creators sent Lockdown, who killed Ratchet. Lockdown mentioned the Creators, which named the threat Optimus had to target next to protect Earth.

Ultimately, Quintessa takes two things Optimus values greatly and forces him to pick one, yet her tactics coerce him to pick what she wants. You know abuse has done serious damage when the person being abused obeys their abuser’s will instead of their own because they’ve been twisted into believing they want what their abuser wants. They can’t think for themselves anymore because every action they take is based on “will it please them enough to not hurt me?”

It’s very easy to destroy and control a person if you know exactly what they value most. Destroying people inside and out is what abusers do. And it’s exactly what Quintessa did to Optimus. 



I’m not saying nobody can make memes out of the slap or whatever. Have fun with that. Just remember how serious and damaging that scene is in the context of the movie.

High school advice for kids with abusive/ controllig parents

*Have a plan. Whatever plan you make up freshman year will most likely not be the one you have senior year, which is good because it evolves and becomes more logical. Regardless have one so youll have greater chances of moving out
*Stay on top of your grades. Even though it can be extremely stressful and is unrealistic to expect anyone to have perfect grades, if you do this it will minimize the likelyhood of you getting punished or having a scapegoat to yell at you with. If you cant though, just recognize you DONT deserve to be yelled at or abused because of a number
*Join as nuch extra curricullars as you can handle, not only will you not be at home as much, but this looks good for college letters and can be very rewarding
*Many if not most of your freinds will not stay if you cant go out or barely do. Im warning you now
*Talk to a counselor or trusted teacher as soon as possible about your home issues, this will prove very helpful through out high school
*Also have an outlet. Like a diary or a freind or a counselor. I did a mixture in highschool, if i was really mad id write a letter id never send to my parents. Hell i even made this account
*IF AT ANY POINT YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER REPORT IT TO AN ADULT
*Save up for a car and get your license asap, youll be grateul you did

Please feel to add on

This moment when people find it extremely funny how much you shrink when someone suddenly lifts their arm as if they were about to hurt you. Like, wtf?! Can they not imagine that there might have been a time when being threatened to get hurt wasn’t a joke? When it was actually followed by pain? This is no fucking joke to me.

Fuck this cycle of abuse where after the child leaves the parent is nice and they ‘become close’ as if they didnt torture them while they were dependent

Ive heard too many people in this cycle say it will get better and that theyre parents were not abusive when they left

This doesnt include people who have parents whove acknowledged their faults when they were younger, this is for people who abused their kids, didnt own up to it and acted nice once they couldnt abuse them anymore.

Being the oldest..

When you’re the oldest in a family, particularly an abusive family, you most likely feel like the protector or some sort of guard or comrade amongst your siblings, most likely those closer to your age because you can relate to them more

And when you’re the oldest, especially in the weining hours of you living in said abusive house hold you may feel some guilt

By being the oldest you might be simultaneously one of the most privileged of your siblings but also the least

Most privileged because you are close to the finish line of freedom, simply due to a birth certificate

Most privileged because you will be able to stand up to them, even if its for a little bit, the soonest

Most privileged because you are the closest to ending your relationship with THOSE people or THAT person who has internally or externally damaged you when they were supposed to build you

But you are also the least privileged when growing up because you experienced the most abuse simply because you had to be the responsible one; something along the lines of being treated like a child when you had to have adult responsibilities

And now that you’re crossing the finish line and plotting what to do once you escape the thorny maze, you may be worried about your siblings and what they will do

Inevitably there will be some sadness

Unfortunately in the conditions you lived in there will be some sadness, but don’t forget they care about you

They want you to be happy

They don’t want you to be chained down with them, they want you to flourish free from your tyrants and be there when they escape

As I reblogged from a post of someone who was a younger sibling “but don’t forget about us, we want to see you happy on the other side when we leave”

anonymous asked:

What about Annabeth and Percy talking about Gabe abusing him??

Warning: Mentions of physical and emotional abuse

  • Percy sits down with Annabeth one day, because he’s been keeping this secret for so long and he needs to tell someone, who isn’t his mom, the real reason why he really wanted Gabe to become a statue. 
  • Hate wasn’t the right word that described Percy’s feelings towards Gabe, it was more like he loathed his ex-stepfather. 
  • Percy took Annabeth’s hand before he took a deep breath. “I never told this to anyone. But I promise, everything is okay now.”
  • Annabeth sat up straight with concern. He was never this serious unless it was something that was troubling him. 
  • He looked at her in the eye and started to talk about his childhood that he never talked about. 

Keep reading

Comforting Pal

Summary: The reader goes to Dean when she needs a safe place. 
Word Count: 975
Warnings: Mention of physical assault.
A/N:  Fourth part to Cuddle BuddyGuy Friend, and Trusted Companion. This is offically a multi-part fic; one more part after this!

@spnfanficpond @aprofoundbondwithdean

Keep reading