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You have a better chance of running into a shiny than running into a wild pokémon with pokérus. Still, this pokémon virus has huge benefits and is sought after in the competitive and casual communities alike. In the game, an infected pokémon will gain double the stats every time it levels up. But what does this mean in a more physical sense?

To start, let’s talk about viruses. We know Pokérus is a virus, which to be honest doesn’t tell us a whole lot. Viruses are as diverse and as crazy as anything, infecting you with everything from colds and flus to rabies and ebola. Their appearances vary as much as their symptoms, and many of them look very alien.

So what exactly is a virus? Cells in your body, along with bacteria, are stand-alone living entities able to eat, grow, and reproduce. Viruses are something different altogether. Viruses are little envelopes full of genetics: a protective protein coating surrounding single or double strands of DNA or RNA.  By themselves, viruses are not able to function. This is why they need to infect a host cell: to live and reproduce.

They do this through the lytic cycle. Basically, a virus will invade a host cell, and take over the cell’s machinery. The virus will trick the cell into working for them: they turn the host cell into little virus-factories, building more and more viruses with the cell’s machinery which then can go and infect new cells.

This is why viruses are contagious. If someone sneezes on you, or you breathe in a virus, it can start entering your cells and start reproducing right away. This is how pokérus is spread. However, it should be noted that a lot of viruses are species-specific; humans cannot be infected with pokérus.

However, pokérus is unique due to its positive effects. Viruses are generally not something you want. For example, a runny nose: cold viruses will infect and kill cells in your nose, and with less cells lining your sinuses, fluid flows freely. Fevers are your bodies response, trying to kill the virus by literally turning up the heat.

So somehow, instead of destroying and taking over host cells, Pokérus viruses benefit them. Pokérus doesn’t infect and kill a pokémon’s cells; it strengthens them. Exactly how is widely up to interpretation. What does a stat boost in-game equate to in real life? 

Maybe the pokémon is buffed up as if on steroids. This would mean that pokérus increases protein production and ATP levels. Or maybe, Pokérus just helps a pokémon grow strong, by enabling them to more easily break down and use vitamins like calicium. It all has to do with whatever the virus’ DNA/RNA strand tells the cell to do. Most viruses just tell the cell to build more viruses, but the pokérus DNA must be like a motivational speech for a cell. And then it replicates and spreads, of course.

Pokérus is a virus, which will take over a pokémon’s cell and cause beneficial side affects, as it reproduces and spreads through a pokémon’s body and eventually into other pokémon.

Enough is ENOUGH

// listen I’ve tried to keep the peace but this person has gone out of their way to get many others involved, and constantly try to initiate unwanted contact, so you know what?

THIS IS A CALLOUT FOR @inkling-lavender FOR HARASSMENT AND PERPETUAL INSTIGATING.

Why? For failure to respect my wishes and constantly trying to bother me after I’ve disclosed many times I wish to be left alone. I’ve had enough.

How did it all start? It began with him shipping me and my friend during a game

Lots of people were in that match, lots of people saw. It was VERY dangerous for myself because my parents often watch me play games, they know who I talk to online and they are homophobic. To imply my friend and I were a couple would be detrimental, but that’s its own issue. Lav did apologize for this, but because of how dangerous and insensitive his actions were, me and my friend wanted to minimize and stop contact with him respectively but instead of respecting our wishes, Lav began harassing and instigating us.

I got messages from several people over the course of some months that where the beginning of a disturbing pattern.

At the time it was shown that he “didn’t know what he was doing” or “didn’t understand” despite constant warnings. It’s no excuse. 

I’ve colour coded separate people so you know they’re different..

I appreciate friends wanting to come to help others in need, but the full story was not given.  Our conversations where private and between adults, but Lav has continued to bring others into this and spreading misinformation to make himself seem like a victim.


He has convinced mutual and non-mutual friends to reach out to us on his behalf instead of just leaving us alone. He claims to be distressed by our presence but instead of blocking us and moving on he continues instigating.  

In January of this year this happened… He tried to claim a fraudulent purchase report on a donation he had given to my friend back in August of last year. At the time my friend was going through a financial crisis and asking for donations, but this donation was also given after he’d been blocked. 

How do I know this report was malicious and not a normal refund request? I have the following screen shot of a conversation where he says he’s doing this to specifically cause trouble for my friend.

I don’t understand where this whole court thing is coming from, let alone why he feels its even necessary. If he’s having trouble because the people who he is harassing told him to A) cease and desist, B) Leave them alone, or C) Go enjoy the splatoon community elsewhere and stop harassing people who clearly do not want involvement in his affairs then there’s an obvious solution; Stop.

To bring it all back. I’m not saying inkling-lavender can’t have fun and enjoy splatoon, I’m not saying he should leave tumblr,. What I’m saying is I’ve seen this shit and SO MANY OTHERS have too and people are distancing themselves for a reason. He’s trying to make himself look like a victim and abusing his friends kindness by having them harass others on his behalf, telling them only parts of what happened and leaving out that we’ve politely and impolitely asked him to stop trying to contact us for over half a year.

What I am doing, is asking that he LEAVES US ALONE. And that he leaves others out of this because its none of their business. We can co-exist without interaction.

And to readers, please be aware of this because I’m sure he’ll try to make himself look like the victim again, but the only reason I felt the need to make this post was because he has not stopped. Even now he’s still harassing me and my friends. Even after being told to back off, being told to leave us alone and being blocked.

We’ve had him blocked on all platforms for months and he has continued to try and pester us through these tactics. We want it to stop.

I’m sorry this is so long, I don’t want any hard feelings but I’ve had it.

Don’t abuse my trust again.