tw: mental instability

I’m sorry this showed up on your dash, keep scrolling, there’s no need to read this.

I don’t know if this ever happened to anyone, but it’s weird and I wanna share it.

So, yesterday I was in my room, going through my phone, and I saw a pic my mother took of me. I stared at it for a couple minutes and suddenly I realized

I am this person, that is me, that is who people see when they look at me, that face is what they see when I talk to people.

For some reason I can’t comprehend, I was terrified and panicked , that doesn’t look like me, that’s not me. And I looked around, and I couldn’t see me, and it scared me, I suddenly felt like I was looking through a screen instead of my eyes, like it was some first person videogame. I didn’t feel like a person, I was frozen and afraid.

I couldn’t believe I was a person, that felt and talked and lived, I felt meaningless, like I was nothing, like everything I did was a lie.

All because I looked at a picture of me, how fucking weak and stupid am I that seeing myself made me had a panick attack and forget I’m someone.

I don’t know why this happened, or what even happened, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s not the first time something similar happened and I’m scared of it.

My fp: *never has time for me, always cancels like an hour before we’re supposed to meet, has dinner with potential love interest all while not having time for me*
Me: *after several breakdowns* enough is enough, this is unhealthy, this is
My fp: hey
Me: hey, what’s up, how are you, how was that exam💖💗💞💕👌👌💯🌈😍💖💕

The worst word you could call someone who struggles with a mental illness is “psycho” 👿😡👿 yes they may struggle and they’re minds might be fucked up.. But they’re most likely smarter then a small minded person who would use the word “psycho”. It’s so ignorant.. Really wish more ppl were informed on mental illness.. It’s just as important as a physical illness and I feel it’s just not treated as so..

blackwingsbluedings  asked:

“I’m just trying to help you.”

“Ya ever considered that maybe I don’t want ya help…? That maybe, I jus’ wanna move along with ma’ life?!” Coming from the girl who was shot in the arm and having a mental breakdown, that latter line was making no sense… Then again, mental breakdown as she began to sob.

“All I wanna do is have a nice fuckin’ day without some assholes ruinin’ it and get Mistah J off my ass, but I get all this shit!! Shot in the arm and a birdbrain thinkin’ he can mess in my business!!! I’m just fine, so lay off!!”