about the mental illness and trauma thing: I always thought that bigger bodies looked better than thinner bodies (just because idk why) -- my abuser attacked me for gaining weight, so once I got away from him I actively tried to gain weight because I knew it would make HIM find me unattractive, even though I myself found it attractive. Is there any chance that some of these survivors were like that or ...?
We’ll never know what these survivors were actually thinking, unfortunately. Unless we hear it directly from their mouth, I dont feel comfortable assuming .
As far as your particular story, it stems from fatphobia. Not /your/ fatphobia, per se. But you worked on changing your body to keep yourself looking attractive to a fatphobic person. I’m glad you’re comfortable with your body to not feed into internalized fatphobia.. but that’s still not fun to feel that you need to change your body to get away from someone.
Hugs to you. <3
- Mod Dom.