Words don’t lose their meanings just because you say so, sorry. If you use hurtful derogatory language, stop being upset when someone asks you to stop. It’s not hard to wait until you’re within the company of others who think like you, you don’t need to go on public spaces and yell and talk as loud as possible about the -insert homophobic/racist/transphobic/sexist/etc. slur- you saw today. Just because you don’t “mean it like that” doesn’t mean people wont take it like that, since, ya know, the words were MEANT TO BE SLURS AND HURT PEOPLE and that’s why they were created. To make people feel like shit.
It’s one thing to reclaim a term (like people have done with the word “queer”) and call YOURSELF and FRIENDS WHO HAVE EXPRESSED BEING OKAY WITH IT a slur. But don’t get all huffy and upset when someone wants you to stop using it about others or around them at all. Don’t get pissed off when you get called out for using hateful language and scrape and scrounge to find an excuse for doing so. Just own up to it and apologize.
And using the word to “desensitize the meaning” is great! Why not use it for POSITIVE THINGS then? Why not stop using it to describe everything negative? Because you AREN’T using it to desensitize it, you’re using it for the same reason everyone else is. You are, again, scraping for an excuse to be able to say “teehee just naughty words~~~”
I have no issues with people who use it in the company of those okay with it. I don’t have any issues with people who can refrain from using it in the company of those who it hurts and in public. None. At all. But people who throw a giant hissy fit about how they’re “just words” and go out kicking and screaming and refusing to acknowledge the people hurt by it are a large large LARGE piss-Tye-off point.