((Highschool AU: Jock!Dean, Geek!Cas. Possible TW: graphic language, slurs)) OPEN
Homecoming, senior year, just past midnight and Dean was walking out of the principal’s office with a black eye and a swollen jaw. It wasn’t how he’d planned on spending his last homecoming. Instead he should have been partying on the dance floor, or drinking beers at some after party. Behind him, his so called friends walked out, sneering at him, spitting at his feet. One even called him a Fag Lover as if that was really supposed to be an insult. But it still hurt, because it was meant to be an insult. He had officially been downgraded from popular football player, to number one target.
Earlier that night Dean had been on the sidelines of the dance, grabbing a drink, and had caught himself staring at the kid who was sitting alone on the bleachers. His name was Castiel. A long time ago he’d been Dean’s friend. Then something changed, Dean started liking him as more than a friend. This was in middle school, a time when Dean was less confident about himself and more worried with pleasing his father and brother. So Dean had distanced himself from Cas and they’d fallen in with different groups. Or Dean had anyways.
Dean still had feelings for Cas. They wouldn’t go away, and the more he grew the more attractive he became and now his lanky figure was huddled on the bench of the bleachers and Dean couldn’t pull his gaze off of him. Until that is one of his friends ripped Dean from his own little world and clapped a hand on his shoulder, daring him to ask Cas to dance.
At this point Dean found it hard to say no, not thinking of repercussions, just the guy in the suit and blue tie with eyes to match, and he walked up to him, smiling as he asked Cas, hoping he said yes.
Except when Cas did say yes, looking more shocked than anything, Dean felt reality crash around him. He heard the slightest bit of laughter and he realized he’d walked himself into something he’d never meant to be a part of. His friend had dared him to ask Cas. This was all a joke to them and Cas was the butt of it all.
By this time Dean had pulled Cas onto the dance floor he knew there was no way he could get himself out of this. Which only made him feel like complete shit as he looked down and watched Cas’s blue eyes on him, wide, happier than he’d seen him in a long time as if Dean had managed to make his whole night.
Even worse was when he heard the laughter, not subtle like before, but obnoxious, pointed directly at Cas. This time when he looked down as the song started to taper off he saw Cas’s face fall, realization dawning on him and he looked between Dean’s friends over his shoulder, back to Dean before pulling away.
Dean didn’t even have a chance to explain himself. Cas left him there, looking so betrayed that it physically hurt Dean to think about. Not long after Castiel’s brother, Gabriel, had come up and socked him in the face a good time or two which landed Cas, Gabriel, Dean, and Dean’s friends, all in the principals office.
The principal had given Gabriel an ultimatum, for punching Dean. Apologize, or face suspension. Gabriel had chosen to face suspension despite Cas’s argument against it. Then Dean and the guys were offered the same ultimatum except to Cas. Dean was the only one who apologized, and at the time it had been a simple, “I’m sorry.” He could have elaborated but he didn’t know what he wanted to say in front of everyone else. A lot of it was personal.
Now, friendless, and thus without a ride, Dean was walking out into the cold fall night, forced to walk home. One hand was stuffed deep into his jacket pocket, the other was running and tugging at his hair as he tried to cope with the fact that Cas probably hated him now. He’d most likely never get the chance to apologize for what had happened, or explain. And if he did get to explain Cas would probably never believe him given the circumstances. He’d just screwed up something that he’d been thinking about for years, and he didn’t know how to fix it.
To the abortion aftercare anon: You may have clotting, and this can be painful. If it’s larger than a golf-ball, then keep an eye on it. If one that size happens twice, call your doctor. Heating pads and showers can help a lot for the pain, but make sure you don’t take baths. They can cause secondary issues like infection in some cases, and it’s always better to play it safe. Psychologically, it can be tough because of a drop in hormones. Remember that’s normal, and if it gets to be more than you can handle, talk to someone you trust about what you’re feeling. Don’t do any heavy lifting for a few days. Surround yourself with loving people. You may be pretty tired for a few days after, so sleep if you need it. And above all: Treat yourself. If you want chocolate ice cream for dinner? Do it. Feel like eating an entire bag of Doritos? Enjoy them. Indulge yourself in whatever whims you may have, as long as you don’t over-exert yourself. I’ve been there myself, and these steps helped me make it through things after my abortion (especially the indulging yourself part. You’d be surprised how much that can help.)
I get awful migraines a lot (I have Clusters and probably some other problems because I get them so bad) ,and I get a lot of different pains when I have one, so I thought I’d make a list of them in descriptive detail for others with migraines to relate to or for others to understand the pain we go through.
side of head rhythmically hit by metal mallet for hours
Eyeball fried in pain until burnt and feels like it will fall out of your head
a hand decorated with metal spikes has a firm grip on the front of your brain
an ax trying to chop off your head from the back of your neck and you will probably need to yell ‘TIMBER’ soon because your head feels like it’s about to snap off
your head in a firm hold between two metal pieces slowly getting tighter and tighter till our head feels like it’s going to erupt like a volcano
when it feels like your skull is broiling your brain
that feeling when you want to rip off your skin on your head because your brain feels like it can’t breath
when the smallest amount of light feels like you’ve doused your eyes in gasoline and set fire to them.
when it feels like something is trying to dig a hole trough your forehead from the inside out
feel free to add more feelings if you get different kinds of pains, the point of this post is to stop people from saying they have ‘a bad migraine’, when you know they only have a headache because migraine pain is so intense and sometimes disabling.