The worst part of emotional abusers is that no one believes you when you talk about them, because everyone likes them and they hide behind this disgusting mask of “good person.”

And you look like the bad guy, when you’re the one who went through emotional abuse, or “It wasn’t that bad was it?” or “That’s not really them.”

Yeah okay, so  I guess my experience and trust issues and suffering and validation is out the window. Or how you cannot even raise your voice because you’ll be attacked for it. That is still a way they silence you. 

You’ve probably seen ‘scared straight’ segments on some daytime talk show like 'Maury’ before. You know the kind where they throw troubled teens in jail for a day to get yelled at by a drill instructor and come out crying for their parents?

What if we told you there was a whole industry set up around this where you can legally have your child kidnapped in the night and sent to the wilderness or to live in a religious group home for months on end? These programs prey on middle-to-upper-class families, operate where there are no child labor laws, and use torture, fear, and manipulation tactics to “fix” troubled youth. Also the counselors need no formal training and are often child molesters.

THIS WEEK:  Cracked editors Jack O'Brien and Robert Evans speak with Maia Szalavitz, who literally wrote the book on the teen rehab industry, about how these centers operate and why so many families are conned into paying them thousands of dollars to hurt their kids. Then they speak with Sarah Cummins, whose family sent her to Utah to live in one of these centers where she was forced to manipulate other girls, do endless manual labor and hug her counselor who turned out to be a sex offender.

anonymous asked:

Please, I need to know something...once I'm eighteen, if I choose to leave my (emotionally abusive) mother's house where I'm supposed to be living, to live with my girlfriend instead, is there any way she could legally take action to force me back? And if so, how can I cover my tracks so she can't find me?

If 18 is the age of adulthood where you live, then no, I don’t believe there’s anything she could do to stop you. As for making it so that she can’t find you, you might have to make some effort. Change your email address, social media, maybe consider changing at least your last name if it’s a common one. Does anyone else have any tips? Best of luck to you, nonnie.
-V

Scribble-Doodle: The Scar

I was asked to write a ficlet about how Alec got his scar…

♦♦♦

“Jace…” Alec calls after the other boy, running to catch up.

“No!” Jace yells without stopping. “Maybe your family can force me to stay here, but I don’t have to like it! My father…” His breath hitches. “My father’s dead and everybody’s all, ‘Hey, no big deal, here. Have a new family!’”

“That’s not true. Jace, stop!” 

Jace is angry. And sad - no, desperate! Grieving. His dad died and nobody seems to care; all that matters to them is to stash Jace somewhere, out of sight, out of mind! But mostly, he’s angry, furious even, because it’s just not fair! After everything he endured, his father just up and dies on him!

And so, when Alec grips his arm to make him stop, Jace reacts on instinct, the way his father taught him, the way he was forced to learn - or suffer the consequences. He turns around in a flash and punches the other boy hard.

Alec doesn’t duck - he didn’t expect this reaction from Jace at all. He stumbles back and twists, tripping over his own feet. He hits the wooden paneling with a sickening smack and slides down to sit on the ground, leaving a bloody smear on dark wood.

Jace is horrified. He stares at the dazed boy, at the rivulets of blood running down his pale face from the deep cut in his left eyebrow. Immediately, he’s overwhelmed with memories of his own father hitting him, punishing him. He swore he would never be like Michael Wayland, he swore. And yet…

He drops to his knees next to Alec and lifts his hands to… to prop Alec up, to hold him, to help him. But in the end, he just leaves them hovering over his shoulders, too afraid to touch Alec, too afraid of hurting him again. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” he keeps babbling frantically.

Alec blinks at him slowly for a moment, blood dripping into his left eye, then lifts his right hand. “Help me?” he asks simply.

And Jace does, he helps Alec up, he brings him to the infirmary, he lowers his eyes and hides his bruised knuckles when Alec lies about how he was injured, and he holds Alec’s hand tight while an iratze is applied to the other boy’s skin, the minor injury leaving only a small white scar bisecting his eyebrow. 

A scar that changes everything, because every time Jace looks at it, he’s reminded of a hawk with a twisted neck and of a little boy bleeding - of the price those who want to be his friends pay.

I am an abuse survivor. This isn’t news. However, I’ve also done some horrendous things during that point in my life, especially to Jay. In my suffering abuse and turmoil of my alcoholism, I lied, snuck around, cheated, and many awful and, honestly, abusive things. I was an accomplice to my abuser also abusing Jay horribly. Much of this was because I, myself, was being severely abused, and I was trying to survive/keep her from killing me faster than she already was. 

This is an explanation, not an excuse.

What it comes down to is that in my past, I have done abusive things. I work every day to keep that from happening again. To keep my HPD in check and not let that poison the way I move through the world. To not relapse in my PTSD, see my abuser’s face on the people around me. On Jay. To not lash out in unhealthy and manipulative ways because of that. To fight the alcoholic instinct to hide things, even when I have no reason to. 

I’m not saying these things for sympathy. I just believe this hard binary of “abuser” and “not abuser” leaves room for abusive actions like those I have committed to be swept under the rug. People are afraid to talk about things they’ve done because they don’t want to be ostracized. I’ve been one of those people, and that not only does no justice to what I’ve done to Jay, no justice to our relationship and its future, but also no justice to myself and my process healing from my own abuse. 

I welcome people, with this in mind, to unfollow me or cut contact with me. I don’t check unfollows, nor would I hold anything against people for reacting to this.

TW: abuse and relationships

I just found this notebook I used to write in during my first year at school when I couldn’t sleep and was always mad or upset due to suffering from an abusive relationship. I felt powerless and terrible and I wrote this journal piece right after I broke up with him (the first time). When I wrote this it looked like the most impossible set of standards ever. I didn’t think I could get all that in a million years because I didn’t know what relationships should be like.

Now. 2 years later, I am reading it and crying my eyes out because I found someone who easily gives me all this and more. I am cared for and loved in a way I didn’t even know was possible. I am happier than I have ever been and I am thankful for him every second of every day.

For anyone out there suffering, things do get better. It may seem hard to believe but you deserve the ABSOLUTE BEST and should never settle for someone who won’t give it to you. You never know what great things are in store until you’re willing to let go of everything that’s dragging you down.

devotion. A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE.  A WILLING PARTICIPANT OF MANIPULATION AND ABUSE. always crawling back. 

lmao. i love how last season they were all about romanticizing violence in ian and mickey’s relationship, like “omg aren’t these boys fucking and fighting so hot? they’re so unique and passionate! not like all you other girlie gays!” and now they’re like “aww poor ian, he doesn’t know how to love because he’s just so used to being beaten. he’s lucky to be alive. :( ”

lol shameless is trash

anonymous asked:

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 4 years. Is it bad that I still love and miss him?

no, it’s not bad. I’d say it makes sense, even. Four years is a long time of your lifetime. And despite all the terrible aspects of the emotionally abusive relationship that you were in, there was still a reason you loved him in the first place, yeah? there was something that made you stay for four years. of course you’re going to miss him. But I promise it gets better. I promise it gets easier to see the bad in him and harder to see the good. I promise he won’t always be the first thing you think about. Give it some time, babe x

Education needs to adress relationships

I’ve sat through so many classes on either how Jesus loves everyone or how menstruation works that I could recite it by memory. Including religiously biased facts from my very inaccurate sexual education in ninth grade. But that’s Catholic school. I’m glad I learned sex ed. It taught me a lot.

But the question is, why do I know nothing about relationships? Yes Jesus loves me but what if the boy who hits me does too? What if my girlfriend tells me I’m beautiful and the next day is screaming about me being a “fucking bitch” for taking her things when I simply moved them into her room? Yes I know all about abortion, adoption or keeping the baby but what about a planned kid? Where does my curriculum teach me about divorce? Teacher, how do I know I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship and how do I get out of it? How do I tell my kids their dad is gone? What even is a healthy relationship?

I’ve been through an emotionally abusive relatuonship. So have three of my closest friends. I stayed for two months after I knew things were bad. One of my friends stayed a year. Another didn’t even break it off, the abuser did. And none of us knew what we were doing. None of us knew it was wrong. Everyone thought we were the cutest couple, that we should stay together forever. No one knew the signs. In some cases they were right in front of them. If they had, we’d all be far happier people today.

Why do we know everything about cells, multiplication, semicolons and World War II yet nothing about this? Why is our education system flawed?

today marks one year moving out of an abusive household that almost took my life.
i was fucking scared. i got home from work and grabbed as much stuff as i can find, my brother helping me hurry up before my dad gets home. one of my bags broke while i was carrying them to my car and i instantly started crying and panicking, shuffling through the snow to gather all the clothes i thought i needed. i felt like i was burning bridges that i was too afraid to burn at that moment, but there was no choice. at first i was regretting it all, thinking about what the hell i was going to do and how am i going to explain it to my submissive and-also-abused mom. i actually never said much to her, and she never said much to me. i didn’t expect much but now i get to see her from time to time.
i can’t explain how much i am grateful officially leaving, with my friends and siblings helping and supporting me with everything they have. i can’t thank them enough. although im still struggling with being ‘okay’ and facing memories what happened before, i am living, i am working hard, and although im shaking and crying writing this, i wake up without fear.

Snoke is really fucking creepy towards Kylo in the novel, like holy shit, it’s making my skin crawl that there’s words like “intimacy” in this passage

Knowing that Snoke apparently stalked him since childhood and yet there’s talk of him “sculpting” him and the “purity” of the material he’s working with like Jesus Christ can we not allude to CSA here thanks

idonthavemuchofasoulleft asked:

I remember very clearly the scene where Ryuishi was panicking about being in Konoha after waking up from her coma, but relaxed almost instantaneously when Orochimaru appeared and she hates that she was conditioned to approve of him like his other test subjects. What was process like for that to occur? Because Ryu gives a lot of herself away and I don't recall much receiving.

Okay, this wasn’t Pavlovian, this was more like hard-core Stockholm syndrome maybe mixed with idk what.

Please remember that for a very long amount of time, like, an entire year or two, Orochimaru kept Ryuishi totally isolated. She saw nobody but him, and even then, it was rare. So it was her, all alone with her broken self and hallucinations and fear, until Orochimaru arrived and broke routine. Remember that he is the one who fixed her hair when she was too out of touch, who fixed her wounds when she trained to hard, who gave her books and tools and supplies. Remember that the same hand that cut her throat pierced her ears and hung them with jewels, and the same voice that spewed threats at her also praised her intelligence and power.

Please remember that Ryuishi had lost absolutely every single interpersonal relationship she had built after she defected, and that until she met Kakashi, her only interaction of any meaning was with Orochimaru.

Most of all, please remember that when she was scared, broken, and alone, Orochimaru made her functional, gave her food, shelter, and rest. He trained her, and taught her. He remains the only character to know her secret. He willingly aided her people, gave medical care, helped her empire grow. 

Yes, he gaslights her. Yes, it was abusive, and may have evolved into something mutually so. Unfortunately it also might be the most honest and truthful relationship she has. There are no secrets, no acts, no games. They know what the other is, and there is understanding, respect, and even positive emotions.

He’d invited the other over to hang out, as he didn’t have many friends to hang out with. However, he hadn’t asked his uncle before inviting them, and his aunt, who was the only one to stop his uncle from hurting him, wasn’t there, so he was bound to get in trouble. Seeing the lights to his uncle’s car, Alex quickly looked over at his friend. “You — you gotta leave. Like – now. Just, just go, okay? Please. I’ll get in — in so much trouble.”

anonymous asked:

Prompt(?) Len catches onto the finer points of time travel and the consequences of making changes to the timeline when he rouses from the time jump to the 80s and feels searing pain shoot across his body. He barely makes it to his room before tearing off his sweater to see new scars rise and fade on his skin. To Gideon the timeline remained intact bc major events stayed the same. But that did not mean smaller changes hadn't occurred. And this time around Lewis was twice as relentless.

…sigh. Yeah. I can actually see this, tbh. The main timeline didn’t change because somehow, to be the Leonard Snart willing to go on Rip’s ship, he has to grow up under those horrible circumstances. He *HAS* to have Lisa, the light of his life and really the only person that keeps him from becoming a colder, more deliberate version of his father (*ducks thrown things* I don’t mean he’d be an abuser, not at all, but I could see Len using his precision and discretion to be a hitman without Lisa), that’s for sure. 

And sadly, that also means that protecting her as best he can is part of what makes him the person that becomes part of the LoT team. But yes, I could see Lewis getting worse. 

He got something HANDED to him, and was still too damn stupid to fence the thing properly and winds up arrested anyway. (And for those wondering, his sentence would probably be the same if he was caught red-handed in the museum, OR if he was caught fencing the emerald–honestly, probably worse for fencing the gem) So let’s say he does get put in somewhere with higher security, and let’s ALSO say he’s a disgraced cop, so he’s a constant target. 

He’s a drunk and an asshole, and I could see him blaming baby!Len for the whole thing, because big!Len was clearly in the house to talk to his younger self (from Lewis’ POV), so somehow baby!Len blabbed or something. But maybe he takes his older self’s words to heart–he protects his mind and heart, and because Lewis is more brutal, he’s able to get Lisa out of the house and into foster care–not ideal, but better than at home. As a result, Len gets the shit beaten out of him even MORE….

There is no way to make this not angsty :/  If anyone has any thoughts, please feel free to add

09/02/2016 - 13.07 - With You.

Long post, trigger warnings for mentions and minor descriptions of domestic abuse.


Coffee is the last thing on John Watson’s mind. To a stranger, it may seem like he is deep in thought about what blend he will choose and whether he wants it fat-free or not, but instead he ponders finances, the protections of paternity leave, and surrogacy vs. adoption arguments. His thoughts race so quickly that his leg fidgets as he stands in the queue. That, or he’s just a nervous mess; he can’t quite tell and isn’t exactly anticipating an answer.

Besides, he would rather consider the hypotheticals than think about what else he has to discuss with Sherlock that early afternoon. He’s worked a blissful-yet-awkward short shift and has the afternoon and evening off. A coffee date is a good way to start the day with your husband; less so when you’re going to talk about your hesitations for not having children.

Keep reading

uhlora asked:

to the anon asking about emotionally abusive relationships, any sign that you have recognized (I think you mentioned manipulation and making everything seem like it's your fault??) is something you shouldn't ignore! Emotional abusers also always play the victim and will always push to make sure things go their way. I would suggest confronting your partner about those things before making any other moves, but please just be safe! And feel free to message me bc I've been there. Hope this helps!

!!!!