tw: ableist slur

When parents teach their kids “othering” attitudes towards disabled people.

Between the ages of 9 and 13, I lived next door to a young girl named Anna. Anna had a 2 year old cousin, Ashley, who was a vent dependent high level quadriplegic due to a horrific accident where she fell off the back of a couch and got wedged between the couch and the wall. (Abuse by her father was suspected; they think he pushed her, I don’t remember if that was true or not.) Her injury was very similar to Christopher Reeve’s.

At first I was fascinated by Ashley’s wheelchair and ventilator tube because I had never known somebody could be paralyzed like that and need help just to breathe. Ashley’s nurse was very kind about answering my questions.

If Anna wasn’t home, I would play with Ashley. I sang silly songs, made faces at her (she made them back), I made her stuffed animals “dance” and “kiss” her face (she loved that) and I would read to her while showing her pictures from the books by her bed. Sometimes I “helped” her color by holding her little fist around a crayon and guiding her hand over a coloring book. I actually discovered she could keep her fingers closed if I wrapped them around the crayon, but it was a very loose grip and her hands never improved beyond that. I let Ashley pick the colors– she raised her eyebrows and smiled real big for “yes” and pouted her bottom lip out for “no” and that’s how she told me which crayons she wanted.

Playing with Ashley got to be normal to me. I understood that she was disabled, but she was also a two year old girl just like any other and the only difference was she couldn’t move or breathe on her own. I noticed that other kids didn’t go over to interact with her if she was brought outside in her wheelchair. The adults with her would entertain her instead.

One day, I was playing peekaboo with Ashley when my dad came outside. He got really mad at me! I didn’t know what I did wrong when he demanded I go in the house.

He proceeded to tell me “You shouldn’t play with a crippled child like that. What if something happens to her? You’ll get blamed!”

I don’t remember what I said in protest, but I know I said “Dad, she’s a kid like anybody else!”

He said, “NO, she’s not. She’s different. She’s broken and hurt. Feel sorry for her, and don’t play with her anymore.”

I cried in my room for a long while. Then I went back out to see if Anna was home. She wasn’t, but Ashley was inside in bed. I played with her till Anna came home, then we went out into her back yard and swung on the swings.

The next day, my dad caught me playing with Ashley again. I was putting flowers in her hair (careful that they didn’t have loose petals that could fall on her trach or the vent tubes). He was SO MAD that he grounded me from going outside for a long time, can’t remember how long.

I questioned why it was “so wrong” to play with another kid. Dad kept insisting that I didn’t “need” to play with a child “like that” who would never have a normal life.

Ashley ended up having to go back into the hospital shortly after that, and I can’t remember what became of her beyond that because I didn’t see her again. All I remember is being devastated that my dad didn’t want me to be friends with a very visibly disabled toddler.

Her name was Ashley, and I never forgot her. I hope she’s still alive. She’ll be in her 20′s by now if she’s still out there somewhere. I think of her from time to time. I’m probably a very vague memory to her…and I hope I’m a good one. I was the kid who played with her when nobody else wanted to. Probably because other kids had parents like my dad who forbade it.

The question is…why? My dad told me he was afraid something bad would happen to Ashley while I was playing with her. I get that he was worried about being sued or something, but I feel like there was more to it than that.

He was “othering” Ashley as ‘unacceptably disabled’ and wanted me to treat her like that, too. I refused. I got in a lot of trouble for refusing. I don’t regret it. I was her friend and I made her smile.

Ashley, if you’re out there, I never thought you were broken.

You wouldn’t expect a person with a physical disability to keep their disability secret. You wouldn’t expect someone who’s epileptic or has vision impairment or another invisible physical disability to keep it secret.

So why do you expect the same from autistic people? Because our disability results in behavior that you would rather frame as weird/lazy/gross/not trying enough/ret*rded/lacking respect/etc?

more positive and accurate portrayals of psychosis in the media

less “psycho killers”. less use of psycho/psychotic/delusional as insults. less portrayal of psychotic people as scary and dangerous. less demonizing of a disorder that is very rarely violent in nature.

more characters whose psychosis isn’t their defining trait. more characters being supported by friends during psychotic episodes. more characters who are loved and cherished and shown understanding despite their psychosis.

better psychosis representation. please and thank you.

8

MAIDMARIANS’S VILLAIN CHALLENGE
[5/8] villain quotes - Hopper
↳ “Let this be a lesson to all you ants! Ideas are very dangerous things! You are mindless, soil-shoving losers, put on this Earth to serve us!”

Constance Wu on Hollywood’s white savior problem: ‘Our heroes don’t look like Matt Damon’

Constance Wu has had it with Hollywood’s white savior complex.

The Fresh Off the Boat actress and two-time Television Critics Association Awards nominee posted a pointed letter to Twitter Friday, in which she criticized the whitewashing of Chinese history with the casting of Matt Damon in 2017’s action epic The Great Wall and called for Hollywood to change the narrative.

“We have to stop perpetuating the racist myth that only a white man can save the world,” Wu wrote one day after the trailer debut for The Great Wall, which features Damon as its dragon-slaying lead. “It’s not based in actual fact. Our heroes don’t look like Matt Damon. They look like Malala. (Gandhi). Mandela. Your big sister when she stood up for you to those bullies that one time.”

Wu went on to challenge the argument that it’s hard to finance and profit from movies that aren’t toplined by white talent, and urged studios to consider the message tacitly communicated by scores of films that revolve around white heroes and struggling communities of color.


“Money is the lamest excuse in the history of being human,” she wrote. “So is blaming the Chinese investors. (POC’s choices can based on unconscious bias too.) Remember it’s not about blaming individuals, which will only lead to soothing their lame 'b-but I had good intentions! but…money!’ microaggressive excuses. Rather, it’s about pointing out the repeatedly implied racist notion that white people are superior to POC and that POC need salvation from our own color via white strength. When you consistently make movies like this, you ARE saying that.”

Wu also questioned why projects starring entertainers of color aren’t given the benefit of the doubt — or the latitude to fail — that is afforded to projects starring white actors.

“If white actors are forgiven for having a box office failure once in a while, why can’t a POC sometimes have one? And how COOL would it be if you were the movie that took the 'risk’ to make a POC as your hero, and you sold the (expletive) out of it?! The whole community would be celebrating! If nothing else, you’d get some mad respect (which is WAY more valuable than money) so MAKE that choice.”

The actress punctuated the call to action by invoking the importance of representation, particularly for children whose dreams may expand or contract based on the images they see, which are still decidedly limited according to Hollywood’s announced 2016 slates.

“If you know a kid, you should care too,” Wu argued. “Because we WERE those kids. Why do you think it was so nice to see a nerdy white kid have a girl fall in love with him? Because you WERE that nerdy white kid who felt unloved. And seeing pictures of it in Hollywood’s stories made it feel possible. That’s why it moved you, that’s why it was a great story. Hollywood is supposed to be about making great stories. So make them.”

anonymous asked:

BLM is absolutely nothing like MLK you fucking shit head. BLM is a HATE GROUP. MLK was an egalitarian. Non-Violent resistance you fucktard. As in peaceful protests. No looting, rioting, setting shit on fire, beating people in the streets. How the FUCK are you SO FUCKING DELUSIONAL you can compare BLM to MLK? No...Fucking no. This why racism is still a problem YOU IDIOTS FUCKING MAKE IT ONE. Shut up.

Do you feel better now? Must’ve been painful keeping all that bullshit in you.
-V

Emotional abuse

You´re sitting there, talking and laughing together, everything seems perfect. Then they ask you do you something for them. Usually something little, like getting them something from the kitchen or cleaning the shelf they can´t reach.

And in that moment you just freeze because you know they aren´t just asking you to do something, they expect it from you. And you know that, no matter how little the favor is they´re asking for, it´s not gonna be good because not even something  flawless could ever be good enough for them. They always find something bad in what you do.

So then you do it, but of course you left the refrigerator open for too long.

Also the food you bring them isn´t good enough, and that´s your  fault because you bought it a week ago.

And they start yelling at you, complaining about what a failure you are. And how stupid for doing this and not doing that. You´re such a disappointment.

They did everything for you when you needed them, so you owe them. You must really hate them if you can´t even do simple stuff like that for them. How did they deserve being treated like that!?

You´re so irresponsible and useless and they prove it with examples from over two years ago and it makes you feel like shit.

Then they tell you to finish something within the next hour that´s nearly impossible to do within a week. But they told you the same yesterday so it should be easy now, right? They stopped listening to you. Probably never started.

So you hide in a corner, crying quietly, feeling nothing, but at the same time so angry. And guilty. Because maybe, you think, maybe they´re right. They for sure are. You are stupid and they deserve better.

And you go between these feelings of guilt and anger, secretly, because if they find you, just laying there and breathing fast, then you´re lazy. And that´s even worse than being a failure


And the next time you see your and their friends they´ll have already heard their side of the story. And they´ll see you as what you are; 

A stupid freak , a failure, a disappointment, lazy,useless, egoistic



So here´s to reassure myself and everyone who feels like that, that you are not what they tell you you are. 

You´re a wonderful individual who´s so strong and can reach anything. You’re the one who deserves better.

anonymous asked:

When everyone was calling trumps young kid autistic it seemed like the world exploded in offensive as if Autism was a dirty word, I can totally understand it's not nice to be called something by other people but it seemed like they were so angry at the idea of autism. I looked through comments and no one seemed to share my feelings. I was angry because I'm not a bad person with a disease or whatever that's so terrible, I felt grr because it was almost like I was being attacked, is that stupid?

Not at all! It was disgusting the way that autism was (and is) presented in the media. We are presented as burdens, tragedies, and subhuman. 

When people freak out because a child may be autistic, it shows their own ableism. The fear of a child being autistic or using autistic as an insult comes from the idea that autism is something terrible, much of which has to do the fucking devil Autism $peaks and their fear mongering campaigns. 

The general public knows of autism but only knows the stereotypes and the burden mentality. The general public sees the “high functioning” savants (ableist) and the burdensome “low functioning” autistics who are tragedies (also super ableist). 

The general public does treat autism like a bad word. It is seen as life ending to have your child be given an autism diagnosis. 

This is all wrong. Autism is simply a different way of being. There are upsides and downsides just as there are to being neurotypical. However, autistics are a beautiful, diverse group of people with many unique talents and abilities who do not deserve to be presented in such a terrible way. 

You are completely justified in being angry, outraged, upset, pissed off, or any other emotion you feel as a result of people like us being presented in this way. When autistics are portrayed this way in the media, it can feel like a personal attack upon the self as we know that the people saying these vile things would say the same about us if they knew we were autistic. You anger is totally justified. 

-Sabrina

(P. S. Stupid is an ableist slur. It would be appreciated if asks could avoid using this word casually)

anonymous asked:

tfw ur bf lives Far Away and you've never even met him irl but you need him to fuck you so bad and even though you're strictly monogamous and wanna be loyal and faithful to him the only thing holding you back from finding random guys to fuck and just pretending they're him until you can actually get the Dick is ur crippling social anxiety and ur not sure if thats a blessing or a curse rn :'^)

anonymous asked:

If you think people spelling Amy with an I is stupid there was a couple in like france that named their daughter "Nutella" and they had their parenting rights revoked and a judge changed the child's name to Ella. I have an uncommon name with an uncommon spelling but shit at least in not named Apple.

I try not to judge people for their personal decisions, but people really do need to keep their kid’s best interests at heart. While I don’t support the government stepping in, naming your child Nutella probably isn’t in the child’s best interests for their life. Giving names a bunch of unnecessary letters to make them more unique is just going to make the child’s life harder down the road. I understand the desire to give a child a unique name, but there are plenty to choose from that don’t involve setting your child up for a lifetime of ridicule.
-V

fandoms and addiction

this post is specifically about the graceland fandom but just to be clear all fandoms are shit and this can apply to any show/movie/etc where a character struggles with addiction, so listen up please

how the graceland fandom treated mike warren’s drug addiction will never cease to downright baffle me. everyday i see people reblog my gifsets with tags such as:

and i really have to say, as a former “scruffy druggie”/”pill head”/”junkie,” all this is getting pretty old for me. when mike’s storyline first started, i was excited because i love mike and i was finally going to see a great character that i relate to a lot go through the exact same thing i had and i knew the show would handle it well (and it did; in fact, mike’s addiction is the best handled addiction storyline i’ve ever seen in anything), but how the fandom treated mike during and after this storyline really shocked me. i can not tell you how annoying (and frankly, sometimes triggering) it is for me to constantly see stuff like “lmao whose fault is this mike” and “see what happens when you do drugs?” and “mike warren: the ultimate bad boy doing drugs” (as if he wanted to be like this??) and even just dealing with urls like @savemikewarrennfromhimself2k15​ and @mikewarrensjunkieeyes reblogging and liking my stuff. here i thought we were past the basics of blatant violent ableism (such as victim blaming, slurs, and mocking), and then there’s the entire aspect of how sexualized mike’s addiction is (more on that later)

so i guess what i need to do for this fandom (and anyone who happens to be reading this) is to set up some guidelines/basic manners on how to talk about a character struggling with addiction, since nobody seems to know that yet:

  1. don’t call him a junkie/addict/pill head/etc. if you have never struggled with addiction, you don’t get to use those words. people who have struggled with addiction can use that if they want to as a way of reclaiming the word, but not you; they are not your words to use. you say “a person with a substance abuse problem” or “a person struggling with addiction” if you need to refer to them in that context. read up more on how not to dehumanize people 101 if that’s a concept you struggle with
  2. it is not his fault. none of it. addiction is a mental illness, and mike was already canonically neurodivergent before s3. nobody sets out like “you know what i really want to do? I think i’ll become addicted to painkillers. that sounds like a fun thing to do. i don’t know why more people don’t go get addicted to drugs.” mike literally says that he only kept taking the pills because he wanted to get back in the field but he was still in a lot of pain after his near death experience and then he felt so ashamed of himself later on when he knew he had a problem but couldn’t stop himself, because without the pills he couldn’t function. and yet, for weeks i had to watch the fandom making fun of him, because something about that is hilarious
  3. here’s a post where tumblr user @mcreary tags a gifset of mike during the scene where his coworkers hold an intervention: “#mike was so shitty this entire ep” while the only things he did in the episode were: crushing and smoking oxy and blacking out for two days, going through withdraw and being humiliated in a big intervention in front of all his coworkers (including the person that tried to have him killed), and then sobbingly apologizing to his friend when she calls him out for using and says “this isn’t what you want with your life. you never let anything beat you. what are you doing?” if you want to know why i especially have a problem with that tag, refer back to #2 and consider the fact that withdraw feels like your skin is peeling from the inside out and makes you say stuff you don’t mean because you’re simultaneously dealing with the shame and self-hatred of knowing you’re addicted (similar to the shame and self-hatred involved with an intervention), the physical agony of it, and an actual mental illness that affects the chemistry of your brain in addition to the pills that affect the chemistry of your brain
  4. we know that mike is a child abuse survivor, that his father was an alcoholic, and that he has ADHD. all three (abuse, family history of addiction, and neurodivergence) are known to make people more susceptible to drug addiction, plus after everything mike goes through he keeps taking the medication (and then self-medicates) because “i just needed to get back to work. i needed to stay upright.” and yet. for weeks people just made fun of him, because it’s just a common, okay thing to hate people that vulnerable
  5. now: the sexualization of mike’s addiction. i get it, everybody thinks aaron tveit is hot with a beard. i understand, i really do. however, there are other ways of expressing that than calling mike ableist slurs or referring to his “hobo junkie trash aesthetic.” and as far as the simultaneous infantilization and sexualization of mike (“oh my poor baby” and “junkie mike is so hot” coinciding so often), mike is a grown (neurodivergent) man. neurodivergent people already deal with being treated like children and like we can’t take care of ourselves without you jumping in wanting to baby him and “save him from himself.” also please stop referring to aaron tveit with a beard his “hobo look.” homelessness and drug addiction are not aesthetics for you to exploit
  6. i’m not even going to get into the fact that half this fandom still ships mike with paige, the person who: psychologically and physically abuses him, threatens and manipulates him, tries to make him have sex with their superior so he can get that superior to give paige something she wants, is directly responsible for his almost-death, shoves him to the ground a few days after that murder attempt doesn’t quite work but he’s still in pain and in recovery, and repeatedly makes fun of him for “going crazy” during his addiction/when he’s desperately trying to understand why he’s still alive when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it

in conclusion: please stop infantilizing, objectifying, blaming, and making fun of mike for his addiction. i know that nobody, especially fandom, cares about addicts (or male abuse victims…), but please try not to make your hatred so blatant