tw: ableist slur

Callout for ableist bully therealkyebarnfield

[TW: intense ableism, bullying and ableist slurs]

Tumblr user @therealkyebarnfield has been bullying my friend for being autistic for three days now, constantly commenting on his posts with things like this:

This is a 24 year old man, bullying and stalking autistic teenagers.

I called him out on being a gross bully and ableist. He responded with this:

After this I noticed that he constantly complains about homophobia on his blog, so of course I called him out on being a hypocrite:

It’s important to mention that I’m a bisexual. Something that my blog clearly states in my bio, and I mentioned to him personally. 

I called him a hypocritical gay because that’s exactly what he is. He complains about homophobia only to do exactly the same thing to autistic and disabled people. As a bisexual person, I despise seeing this kind of blatant hypocrisy and discrimination in the LGBT community, wich should be an accepting place for everyone.

But anyways, despite me being gay, he somehow accused me of being homophobic, and having used “homophobic slurs” wich makes no sense considering I constantly blog about gay rights:

You can already tell how hypocritical he is, since he bullied my friend for three days specifically for being autistic, calling him ableist slurs like “spaz”, “retard”, “autismo” and “sperg”. 

But the hypocrisy and ableism gets worse.

I told him again that I’m gay, and asked why he hates autistic people so much. The response is one of the most ableist things I’ve seen on this site:

That’s right, he claimed that autistic people are violent abusers and school shooters. That’s why he goes around targeting autistic people to stalk on tumblr. This is the point where I realized that he’s not just a bully, but a deeply bigoted ableist.

I said I was gonna report him tomorrow:

And he’s still calling ME abusive, because I called him a hypocrite. He doesn’t think it’s abusive that he just called all autistic people school shooters, abusers and retards.

Then, for the next twenty minutes or so, he just kept calling me a “sperg” over and over again:

Bonus point for calling me a “mongoloid”, wich is both ableist and racist:

Then he just blocked me:

So yeah… jeesh!

This guy is a terrible, terrible ableist and bully. One of the worst I’ve encountered here, and that’s saying a lot.

Please report him to staff and hopefully they’ll do something for once. And share this around so people knows. This kind of behavior needs to be called out, it should not be welcome in the LGBT community, or anywhere for that matter.

There are some specific issues with a late diagnosis which are rarely talked about. The most noticeable one for me is how the environment fails to adjust to a late diagnosis.

I was diagnosed a few months prior to my eighteenth birthday. Which is actually not even that late.
However, many of the people who surround me seem to think that my diagnosis was “too late to take it serious”, in a way.

Whenever I ask for things that I didn’t ask before, I’m not only met with reluctance but with resistance.
It’s always the same - people say “well, this hasn’t been an issue prior to your diagnosis, so I don’t understand why it is now”. What they don’t understand is that I’ve always been struggling but only since my diagnosis, I know that my struggles are real and valid and that I’m allowed to ask for accommodations or changes that make my life easier. And when I explain this to them, they always tell me off. They tell me that I’m lying even though I’m known for my honesty (which is actually a huge indicator for me being autistic, but somehow they’d rather turn the facts and see me as a liar than admit that I have always been autistic and even noticeably so. They don’t want to acknowledge it because they don’t want to admit that they don’t know a thing about autism. Like, some of my friends literally said that autism to them means “a person has issues to talk with others”, which they don’t see in me which is why they deny that I’m autistic and even refuse to look into the resources about autism that I send to them). Before I got diagnosed, I was treated badly every time I spoke about my needs because people saw me as “overreacting”, “overly sensitive” and “overdramatic”. I’ve been bullied for YEARS because of these things, because to them, I was being “a sissy”.
And after almost two years as a diagnosed autistic, I can say that many people STILL perceive everything I self-advocate for in this mindset. That people STILL see my behavior as overreacting instead of keeping in mind that I am autistic and yes, for me it is as bad as I’m saying it is. That yes, I really get overly anxious around people (which leads to me rambling instead of not saying anything, which again doesn’t match many people’s view on autism) and that certain noises, lights and textures feel like someone is sticking needles inside my ears, eyes, brain and body.

For myself, I was able to make a lot out of my diagnosis. I gained a lot of self-esteem, unlearned internalized ableism in big parts and found new ways of coping. I also have a better sense for my needs now, because even though most people who surround me still don’t take them serious, at least I do now.
Many people mistake this again as “playing pretend”, because how can I only know now what I need? What they don’t want to understand is that as an autistic person, you have to pay much more attention to yourself in order to know what you need because living in itself is overwhelming and taking up a lot of space in our brains. (Heck, I don’t even realize when I’m thirsty 99% of the time… I can go three days without drinking and I don’t feel like my body is missing anything until I black out. Same goes for food. I need to pay conscious attention to how much I’m drinking and eating because I don’t even have this connection to my body that allistic people have.)

But it’s so tiring to not be acknowledged as an autistic person because my parents failed to send me to the right specialist when I was younger. Because they send me to an AD(H)D specialist and failed to send me to another after the results came out negative because they perceived me as a child who is “weird because they are gifted”. Who speaks like a grown up because they’re smart, who plays alone even if they have friends around because they have too creative daydreams and so on.
It’s tiring to always fight so that people treat me right because they are dismissive about my needs because they don’t even UNDERSTAND that I have them because I’m perceived as “too allistic” due to my late diagnosis.

As a late diagnosed autistic, I feel like I get automatically treated as some kind of “Watered Down Autistic™”, who just got the label “autism” slapped on themselves in order to have an excuse for all their quirks and “character flaws”. I feel like people view late diagnosed autistic people as “even less autistic than high-functioning autistic people” which is why they inflict further abuse on us and never consider us as autistic.

But what gets me most about this is how they don’t even realize what they do. That they’d rather keep on pretending that I’m not autistic no matter how much I speak up and tell them that it actively harms me and our relationship because it’s easier and more convenient for them to just dismiss my disability and demand from me to be like them. Because apparently, they hate disabled and autistic people too much to actually accept that one of their friends/family members is one of them.
Keep in mind that these people I’m talking about are my friends and family. They are the people closest to me, the people who claim to like me and have my best interest in mind… And to think that even people who interpret their relationship to me like this abuse me on a daily basis without even noticing or caring about it says a lot about ableism. And it also says a lot about how people who don’t like me or are close to me would treat me if they knew I was autistic.

When parents teach their kids “othering” attitudes towards disabled people.

Between the ages of 9 and 13, I lived next door to a young girl named Anna. Anna had a 2 year old cousin, Ashley, who was a vent dependent high level quadriplegic due to a horrific accident where she fell off the back of a couch and got wedged between the couch and the wall. (Abuse by her father was suspected; they think he pushed her, I don’t remember if that was true or not.) Her injury was very similar to Christopher Reeve’s.

At first I was fascinated by Ashley’s wheelchair and ventilator tube because I had never known somebody could be paralyzed like that and need help just to breathe. Ashley’s nurse was very kind about answering my questions.

If Anna wasn’t home, I would play with Ashley. I sang silly songs, made faces at her (she made them back), I made her stuffed animals “dance” and “kiss” her face (she loved that) and I would read to her while showing her pictures from the books by her bed. Sometimes I “helped” her color by holding her little fist around a crayon and guiding her hand over a coloring book. I actually discovered she could keep her fingers closed if I wrapped them around the crayon, but it was a very loose grip and her hands never improved beyond that. I let Ashley pick the colors– she raised her eyebrows and smiled real big for “yes” and pouted her bottom lip out for “no” and that’s how she told me which crayons she wanted.

Playing with Ashley got to be normal to me. I understood that she was disabled, but she was also a two year old girl just like any other and the only difference was she couldn’t move or breathe on her own. I noticed that other kids didn’t go over to interact with her if she was brought outside in her wheelchair. The adults with her would entertain her instead.

One day, I was playing peekaboo with Ashley when my dad came outside. He got really mad at me! I didn’t know what I did wrong when he demanded I go in the house.

He proceeded to tell me “You shouldn’t play with a crippled child like that. What if something happens to her? You’ll get blamed!”

I don’t remember what I said in protest, but I know I said “Dad, she’s a kid like anybody else!”

He said, “NO, she’s not. She’s different. She’s broken and hurt. Feel sorry for her, and don’t play with her anymore.”

I cried in my room for a long while. Then I went back out to see if Anna was home. She wasn’t, but Ashley was inside in bed. I played with her till Anna came home, then we went out into her back yard and swung on the swings.

The next day, my dad caught me playing with Ashley again. I was putting flowers in her hair (careful that they didn’t have loose petals that could fall on her trach or the vent tubes). He was SO MAD that he grounded me from going outside for a long time, can’t remember how long.

I questioned why it was “so wrong” to play with another kid. Dad kept insisting that I didn’t “need” to play with a child “like that” who would never have a normal life.

Ashley ended up having to go back into the hospital shortly after that, and I can’t remember what became of her beyond that because I didn’t see her again. All I remember is being devastated that my dad didn’t want me to be friends with a very visibly disabled toddler.

Her name was Ashley, and I never forgot her. I hope she’s still alive. She’ll be in her 20′s by now if she’s still out there somewhere. I think of her from time to time. I’m probably a very vague memory to her…and I hope I’m a good one. I was the kid who played with her when nobody else wanted to. Probably because other kids had parents like my dad who forbade it.

The question is…why? My dad told me he was afraid something bad would happen to Ashley while I was playing with her. I get that he was worried about being sued or something, but I feel like there was more to it than that.

He was “othering” Ashley as ‘unacceptably disabled’ and wanted me to treat her like that, too. I refused. I got in a lot of trouble for refusing. I don’t regret it. I was her friend and I made her smile.

Ashley, if you’re out there, I never thought you were broken.

anonymous asked:

wasn't schizophrenia diagnosed primarily in black activists who were then hospitalized out of "fear" during the civil rights movement in the 60s and 70s

you’re damn right 

not only in the American CRM, but even now in other countries it’s used as a scare tactic 

mental illness has always been a means of silencing people; but especially in the civil rights movement, the outcry against racism was pegged as a “psychotic delusion" 

and people today will protest these facts, despite the fact that white allies in the movement did not face the same ableism that black protestors and activists did. 

Outside of tumblr there’s little to no sympathy for people with symptoms of BPD. No one will help you with your mental illness. No one. No matter how you try they constantly blame you for your damn illness. Because people with BPD are always shown as abusive in media. Because the villain in the show you’re watching has symptoms of BPD.

Everyone adores making cluster b’s the villains. It hurts real people. Your “ psychopath ” evil oc hurts people with symptoms of aspd and related illnesses. Your “ attention seeking bitch ” is harmful to people with symptoms of hpd. Your “ narcissistic ” villain is hurting people with NPD. Your “ emotionally unstable ” character hurts people with BPD.

That’s not even mentioning how psychotics and people with disassociative disorders are treated in media.

Let’s take your typical horror movie villain.

- came from an insane asylum
- hears voices
- thinks they’re god
- has low empathy
- is incredibly angry at everyone
- kills people because they feel betrayed or something

Wow, I wonder what type of mental illnesses that describes???

Constance Wu on Hollywood’s white savior problem: ‘Our heroes don’t look like Matt Damon’

Constance Wu has had it with Hollywood’s white savior complex.

The Fresh Off the Boat actress and two-time Television Critics Association Awards nominee posted a pointed letter to Twitter Friday, in which she criticized the whitewashing of Chinese history with the casting of Matt Damon in 2017’s action epic The Great Wall and called for Hollywood to change the narrative.

“We have to stop perpetuating the racist myth that only a white man can save the world,” Wu wrote one day after the trailer debut for The Great Wall, which features Damon as its dragon-slaying lead. “It’s not based in actual fact. Our heroes don’t look like Matt Damon. They look like Malala. (Gandhi). Mandela. Your big sister when she stood up for you to those bullies that one time.”

Wu went on to challenge the argument that it’s hard to finance and profit from movies that aren’t toplined by white talent, and urged studios to consider the message tacitly communicated by scores of films that revolve around white heroes and struggling communities of color.

“Money is the lamest excuse in the history of being human,” she wrote. “So is blaming the Chinese investors. (POC’s choices can based on unconscious bias too.) Remember it’s not about blaming individuals, which will only lead to soothing their lame 'b-but I had good intentions! but…money!’ microaggressive excuses. Rather, it’s about pointing out the repeatedly implied racist notion that white people are superior to POC and that POC need salvation from our own color via white strength. When you consistently make movies like this, you ARE saying that.”

Wu also questioned why projects starring entertainers of color aren’t given the benefit of the doubt — or the latitude to fail — that is afforded to projects starring white actors.

“If white actors are forgiven for having a box office failure once in a while, why can’t a POC sometimes have one? And how COOL would it be if you were the movie that took the 'risk’ to make a POC as your hero, and you sold the (expletive) out of it?! The whole community would be celebrating! If nothing else, you’d get some mad respect (which is WAY more valuable than money) so MAKE that choice.”

The actress punctuated the call to action by invoking the importance of representation, particularly for children whose dreams may expand or contract based on the images they see, which are still decidedly limited according to Hollywood’s announced 2016 slates.

“If you know a kid, you should care too,” Wu argued. “Because we WERE those kids. Why do you think it was so nice to see a nerdy white kid have a girl fall in love with him? Because you WERE that nerdy white kid who felt unloved. And seeing pictures of it in Hollywood’s stories made it feel possible. That’s why it moved you, that’s why it was a great story. Hollywood is supposed to be about making great stories. So make them.”

This is a general “you” about words.

“Words are only offensive if you let them offend you.”

This is true…in SOME situations. Christians being upset at hearing “happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is silly because “happy Holidays” includes all the Holidays, one of which is Christmas.

In other situations, it’s utter bullshit. Please wipe your mouth after you take it off the bull’s ass and make sure you brush your teeth, mmkay?

An autistic person being disgusted at seeing someone say “that’s so autistic” in response to a Youtube video where someone is talking at length about a subject they like isn’t being silly. They’re seeing someone else being insulted for a trait they possess themselves. 

The thing with insults that reduce a group to a stereotype is using the word offensively affects everyone in that group because the word is talking about all of them.

Personally, I just roll my eyes when I see “autistic” used as an insult. I’m autistic and when I see it used as an insult I just assume the person doing it lacks the creativity to come up with a funnier insult, like saying somebody’s idea is as useful as peddling halitosis as an air freshener or that someone must be anally grafted to a bull because they’re so full of bullshit. I think the same about pretty much any insult that picks on someone’s race, disability, mental illness, sexuality, religion and so forth. They’re boring and uncool. Word play is more fun.

Not everyone has a thick skin, and there’s no shame in not having a thick skin. Maybe you should consider the reasons why certain words are so insulting before you run your mouth about how “oh, it’s just words.” 

A fist is just a fist, but it hurts when it’s used to knock your teeth out.

Certain words have histories. Some of those histories are oppressive. Some of that oppression included whether people were allowed to live or die. The leftovers are the hurtful stereotypes perpetuated when certain words are thrown around as insults.

Using someone’s disability, mental illness, race, sexuality, religion or whathaveyou as a joke to insult them means you don’t take their issues seriously and would rather silence or further marginalize them by laughing at them. Being part of that group doesn’t give you free reign to shit all over everyone else in your own community.

“That’s gay”
“That’s crazy”
“That’s lame”
“That’s retarded”
“That’s autistic”
”You’re an idiot”
”You moron”
etc etc etc
= Harmful

There’s other words you can use.

“That’s shitty”
“That’s wild”
“That’s boring”
“That’s asinine”
“That’s pedantic”
“You’re ignorant”
“You asshole”

Now I’m going to sit here and watch all the uncreative people pop out of the woodwork to call me an SJW and mock my words, because being shitty and mocking others is so much easier than trying to be a decent person who cares about other people.

I ain’t perfect and I screw up. I apologize and try to learn from it when I do because that’s all one can do.

We’re all capable of being better people. Unfortunately, there are those out there who think trying to be better is too hard. Some people hide behind insults and call people thin-skinned instead because they’re thin-skinned themselves. 

I guess it’s easier to attack someone’s insecurities instead of working out your own. 

Glass houses and rocks, y’all.

[Animated gif of Patrick Stewart (Picard) grabbing his nose and laughing after Jonathan Frakes (Riker) flubs a scene while shooting Star Trek: The Next Generation.]

I’m autistic, not d*mb, as you love to put it.

Please stop assuming that being autistic prevents autistic people from being intelligent or that we’re inherently d*mb just because we sometimes don’t get what you mean.
Not understanding what you are talking about doesn’t mean that we’re not on “the same level of intelligence”. It doesn’t mean that we’re “not smart enough to follow your train of thought”.

We understand words and literary figuratives differently than others. We don’t read as much between the lines as other people (and if we do, it’s more “guessing between the lines” than actual “reading”).
We may also have problems with auditory processing, meaning that if you talk too fast, too loud/barely audible for us, than we might not understand all to half of what you’re saying.

We think differently and our way of thinking doesn’t signal a lack of intelligence. And because we think differently, we have issues with things that are completely unproblematic for you.
However, this is no indicator for us being d*mb.

Stop equating the ability to communicate in a socially accepted way with being intelligent. Stop equating general talent for socializing with intelligence.

anonymous asked:

What's wrong with Blaire White? So she's anti-sjw, so what? She's expressing her opinion about topics she's lived through herself and has apologised when she has found out she's been wrong. If anything this makes her admirable. She speaks her mind and is apologetic when she's wrong. Isn't someone who speaks their mind better than someone who is vindictive and takes physical action on things rather than verbal debates?

From her Rational Wiki article:

- White asserts that “transgenderism is a mental illness” and that transitioning is ineffective for most people, which is denied by the American Psychological Association and soon the World Health Organization’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.

- In the same video, she states she believes that there should be a “cure for transgenderism”, which is again denied by the American Psychological Association.

- White thinks that trans women who don’t pass shouldn’t use the bathroom of their preferred gender

- White doesn’t care much about preferred pronouns, referring to it as “policing someone’s behavior” and “being sensitive”.

- White only supports straight trans women (i.e. those attracted exclusively to men). She believes that trans lesbians are really just straight men, taking the liberty to call one “he” and “heterosexual.” Despite being a non-op herself, she criticizes said lesbian for still having a penis.

- White firmly believes that there are only two genders and calls non-binary gender identities “trans-retarded”.

- White believes that children transitioning is child abuse and “queer” is brainwashing.

- In her video “Triggering Trannies,” White freely admits that the LGBT community hates her for what she does, though she blows it off as “just the SJW branch”.

- White is blind to her passing privilege. She is 5'5" (1.65 m), her face is round, and her voice isn’t that deep for a woman. However, she scoffs at the idea of transphobia existing.

- “Rape: Anything. No, seriously, like, [feminists have] butchered the definition so bad anything can be rape now.”

- White is an antifeminist. Indeed, White calls feminism “cancer”. White frequently creates content of the type, “Feminism FAILS” or “Feminism is HYPOCRITCAL”[sic].

- White thinks rape culture doesn’t exist.

- White denies the gender pay gap.

- White believes female privilege exists and is an argument for antifeminism.

- “I recently tried a tanning lotion out and I really regret it, it’s not a good look. But on the bright side, I’m only a cornrow away from being able to demand reparations from you guys.”

- White frequently defends Donald Trump.

- Supports fat shaming.

- Against safe spaces.

- Not above casually hurling “retard” around among other insults related to mental illness.

- White argued that Islamophobia is reasonable.

- She routinely disparages Islam as a whole (rather than conservative or radical Muslims) while defending Christianity. (She herself is a Christian.)

- White (possibly nonseriously) suggested that gassing refugees would be a good nonviolent solution to the crisis.

- White had repeatedly opposed Black Lives Matter on video and frequently attacks them on Twitter. Infamously, White donned blackface to grossly misrepresent criticize progressives. She also routinely acts concerned about racism against white people while belittling racism in general. White participated in Milo Yiannopoulos’s “Privilege Grant” stream.

Nah, she’s a garden variety anti-SJW piece of shit and is undeserving of any respect or praise.

You wouldn’t expect a person with a physical disability to keep their disability secret. You wouldn’t expect someone who’s epileptic or has vision impairment or another invisible physical disability to keep it secret.

So why do you expect the same from autistic people? Because our disability results in behavior that you would rather frame as weird/lazy/gross/not trying enough/ret*rded/lacking respect/etc?

anonymous asked:

I heard that I'm not a real guy because of my clothes a lot. I have like 25% clothes that are labeled as female and I love pastel colors. Before that, I heard things like: 'Why the hell are you wearing pink, if you're saying you're a guy?" from some ignorant idiots. But now, I come across posts like: 'You're not really a trans boy, if you're still wearing some girly clothes and not trying to be as manly as possible'. And those posts are from trans people. And idk, do I need to change something?

You don’t have to change anything about yourself, no. The people who say those thigns are nothing but gross transphobes - and the fact that they may be trans themselves doesn’t change that. Trans people are fully capable of being transphobic.

You don’t have to be masculine to be valid. You don’t have to do everything you can to pass as a typical cis guy in order to be valid.

You are a real trans guy, no matter what you wear, what you like or what you do.

(Side note, please don’t call people “id—s”. It’s an ableist slur.)