tw: fish puns

kixboxer  asked:

Le Filet-O-Fish

one day i will write something that doesn’t need a cut. today is not that day. 


college au. 


Yuuri alternates between stress sleeping and stress insomnia. No one ever knows where he’s going to be because his scheduled is so ~unpredictable~ 

EXCEPT WAIT. There are food deliveries? Every time he’s innocently sucking on his pen cap in the Science Library? and Beautiful Senior and Yuuri’s French TA Victor Nikiforov is having weird, supremely worrying hand spasms that seem vaguely aimed in Yuuri’s direction? That can’t be right. 

(Yuuri only took that class for Victor.) 

(Victor wishes he was that pen cap.)

Seemingly unrelated, someone keeps making sure there are always fresh, piping hot, vaguely-fish-like sandwiches waiting for Yuuri whenever he can drag himself out of bed to face the Existential Pit of Despair that is studying for midterms. He’s very familiar with that Pit of Despair. He lives one pit over in the Pit of Existential Discontent. The view from the Pit of Despair is much nicer. 

Keep reading

Okay so like what I think would be hilarious for justice league is for aquaman to look super intimidating and scary and everyone’s like “woah he’s a bad boy watch out” but then when he meets Bruce for the first time he says “batman. I should introduce myself. oFISHially” and then he just laughs and laughs for a solid thirty seconds before wheezing out “get it it’s a fish pun that’s my thing”

Random Thoughts

Will is teaching Hannibal to fish and Hannibal is just not impressed to which Will is like throwing fish puns at him to make him lighten up.

Hannibal: Will as much as I appreciate you including me in your past times, these waders are displeasing and we both know hunting is a more favorable recreation for me.

Will: So are you saying you’ve HADDOCK with my fishing lesson?

Hannibal: Pauses, to think of some cunning response, but it’s Will, his moon and stars, so he responds: I COD even with you and then they do it 😉

feferi fish puns quicklist

op-perch-tuna-ty : Opportunity

Shore - Sure

Hershell/Himshell/Yourshell/Myshell - Herself/Himself/Yourself/Myself

Cod - God/Could

Eeling - Feeling

Whale - Well

Reelly - Really

Min-now - Know

Sea - See

Gillarious/Gillarity - Hilarious

Splashing/Swimming/Floating - Hanging/Being/Etc

Cull - Kill

Carping/Glubbing - Talking/Chatting/Etc

Kelp - Help

Salmon - Seldom/summon

Debait - Debate

Sardinonic - Sardonic

Cullshit - Bullshit

Krilling - Killing

Doofish - Doofus

Shingle - Single

Appiers - Appears

Crayative - Creative

Haddock - Had

Waded - Walked

Roe - Row

Beach - Bitch

Buri - Bury

Knot - Not

Manta - Meant

Outraygeous - Ray

Cuttle - Cuddle

Codn’t - Couldn’t.

Aboat - About

Pike - Like

Melan-Coley - Melancholic

Pacific - Specific

Crabby - Crappy

Crappie - Crappy

Porpoise - Purpose

Halibut - Hell of it

Ruff - Rough

Plaice - Place

Discus - Discuss

Water - What are

Koi - Coy

Betta - Better

Shellfish - Selfish

Bluefish - Sad

Tail - Tell/Trail

Fintastic - Fantastic

Fintasy - Fantasy

Fin - Find

Otter-wise - Otherwise

Sole - Soul/Sole

Floundering - Fumbling

Lobsta - Lotsa

Clam up - Shut up

Aquainted - Acquainted

sea-rious - serious

bereef - believe

anemone - anyone

sea eeled - sealed

brisling - i dont know

shrimply - simply

mackerel - mack

bereef - believe

bouys and gills - boys and girls

sturgeon = surgeon

mullet = mull it

brill-iant = brilliant

shoal = show

clam-ering = clamoring

batter = better (this one is a stretch but ehh)

moray-eel = moirail

grunter = grunt (or someone who grunts, i guess)

shad = tad

Fish Puns 38)

just a list of fish puns i made for people who arent so witty with puns but like to cosplay/roleplay Feferi or Meenah Peixes. or if you just wanna bother the shrimp out of people,

hope this helps!

definitly——————dolphinitly

anything—————–anyfin

well———————-whale

kidding——————-squidding

kill————————krill

real———————–reel

‘me know—————–minnow

sure———————–shore

additional—————–crabdditional

better———————buoytter

crap———————–carp

see————————sea

simply———————shrimply

help————————kelp

fantastic——————-fintastic

tell————————-shell

had it———————–haddock

god————————-cod

selfish———————-shellfish

or/our———————-oar

hearing———————herring

about———————–aboat

anyway——————–anywave

self————————-shellf

nothing———————nofin

what are——————-water

amscray——————-clamscray

hell of it——————–halibut

bet————————-bait

way———————–wave

celebration—————shellebration

fuck———————–glub

bitch———————-beach

so yep, thats about all i have right now, anywaves, good luck and try not to do too much clownfishing around. 38)