tw male privilege

Whenever I think about the Rey/o discourse, and the whole thing about people being attracted to villains above all, I wonder why, if this is the case, people don’t ship Buttercup with Prince Humperdinck? Because if we go by this logic everyone in The Princess Bride fandom should’ve ditched “boring” Wesley long time ago, and hopped onto the Humperdinck/Buttercup train. Their relationship dynamics are practically the same as with Rey/o.

  • A privileged white guy who has everything, but wants even more.
  • Genocide and random murders of innocents won’t stop him from getting what he wants.
  • Has a torture chamber where he tortures innocent people.
  • Not above abusing and torturing women.

All these bullet points can be applied both to Prince Humperdinck and Ky/o Ren. Yet, I’ve never seen a single H/B shipper. And that movie / book is a fairly popular one, even to this day, even on tumblr. However, for some reason, everyone loves and gushes over the blond blue-eyed “boring” Wesley, who was framed as a heroic protagonist by the narrative - vs. Humperdinck, the main villain of the story… So, where are all the H/B shippers?

Also, speaking of which, Finn gets so much crap from white feminists for “grabbing” Rey’s hand. But I have rarely seen people (including these same white feminists) being disgusted with Wesley’s sexism and very much transparent abusive behavior - for exapmple, a scene from the book:

“I’m very capable of love,” Buttercup said.
“Hold your tongue, I think.”
“I have loved more deeply than a killer like you can possibly imagine.“
He [Wesley] slapped her.
“That is the penalty for lying, Highness. Where I come from, when a woman lies, she is reprimanded.”
“But I spoke the truth, I did, I - “ Buttercup saw his hand rise a second time, so she stopped quickly, fell dead silent.

Sure, they’ve improved that gross scene for the movie adaptation, but Wesley totally does raise his hand to hit Buttercup even there:

How is ^this^ okay by white feminists’ books, but an innocent hand grabbing is seen as some volatile act of sexism and abuse? (A purely rhetorical question, because we all know the answer)

How come no one ever makes the connection between white male entitlement, privilege and mental health?

There’s a certain level of entitlement that men are born with, the belief that everything should be their way. When you add white privilege to that the question becomes “how DARE the world not cater to me?”. And then, the irrationality that comes with certain personality disorders makes for the “FUCK YOU, EVERYONE MUST DIE, BECAUSE THE WHOLE WORLD ISN’T KISSING MY WHOLE ENTIRE ASS!!”

2+2 = mass murder and domestic terrorism.


Catcall video goes viral

Honestly, this is really painful to watch.  Racist, misogynistic men like this are such a problem. 


(Note: The catcall video in question edited out white men to only include men of color – really problematic.)

Let's Talk about "transmisandry", and its relationship to transmisogyny

In recent weeks I’ve become aware of the transmisandry tag on tumblr. There aren’t too many posts in it but it seems to be a lingering feeling that exists in trans spaces that trans men, and those designated/assigned female at birth want to express. 

Those of us familiar with feminism or issues of social justice know that oppressors can not face their own form of oppression from the oppressed. For example, heterosexual people are not oppressed by those who are not heterosexual. In other words, LGB people can not be heterophobic. Any sense of distrust, dislike or other negative feelings come from a pervasive systemic culture that others, labels inferior the oppressed, and gives permission to acts of violence. When faced with real violence, you have a real reason to distrust the oppressor class.

Thus, as a counterpart to misogyny, “misandry” can not exist. Men are not systemically oppressed by women. Sexism that men face is by and large a side effect, an unintended consequence due to misogyny backfiring.

So because “misandry” does not exist it can not combine with cissexism and transphobia to create “transmisandry”. Trans men, and afab/dfab non binary people are not oppressed for being men. They face transphobia, cissexism and the negative side effects of oppositional sexism. 

This might be confusing so let me provide an example. When trans men are insulted for being femme or doing something girly it’s because of oppositional sexism. Traditional sexism dictates that women are inferior, therefore all traits associated with women are inferior. Oppositional sexism then says that because men are superior women must be the opposite of whatever men are. So if men are masculine, women are feminine. Oppositional sexism seeks to make all men masculine and all women feminine. 

Now some people seem to think that transmisogyny applies to trans men and afab people due to their genitals. The logic being that “they have x genitals and people see them as women so they face misogyny and are trans, therefore transmisogyny.” Not only is that cissexist and presumptuous. It is incorrect. Transmisogyny only applies to amab trans people, especially trans women. Trans men, and afab trans people are not trans women nor amab trans people.

So what is transmisogyny?

Transmisogyny is that extra special oppression which is doled out to trans women. The reason for its use is because the existence of trans women is like a giant middle finger complete with a side of offensive language to the patriarchy. According to the patriarchy we should not exist. In a world where women are inferior as a law of the universe, why would a “man want to be one”? It does not make sense, unless sexism is full of shit. To allow us to exist would mean recognizing that women are not inferior to men, and that people are more than just masculine men and feminine women. That men and women are not all that different. The patriarchy won’t let that happen without a fight.

So what tools does it use to try and keep us from pointing out its flaws with our mere existence? Transphobia, cissexism, and misogyny. It uses these both separately and together.

Transmisogyny is when:

  • We are seen as deceivers
  • We are seen as desexualized while simultaneously being objectified as fetish objects
  • Porn uses slurs for our genre
  • We are seen as sexual predators, looking to rape women
  • We are seen as unlovable
  • We are the primary targets of anti-trans propaganda and legislation
  • We are murdered at disproportionate rates. (trans women were 53% of 2012’s anti-LGBT murder victims, trans men were not the other 47% FYI)

The list goes on. Transmisogyny is when a person discovers that a woman is trans and becomes even more misogynistic than they were before. I’ve seen countless women who are both degendered and the recipient of insults targeting their looks, body shape, weight, attractiveness and overall fuckableness. Despite being called men, we are insulted as women. Some groups face similar issues. Lesbians come to mind though cis lesbians have the buffer of being cis to lessen the harm of their gender being called into question as society regards them as inherently more real than trans women. 

This is different from transphobia and cissexism as all trans people face those. So often times when dfab trans people talk about “unique” discrimination that they face as dfab trans people they are wrong about it being unique, or just simply do not understand how shitty certain things are for dmab trans people. For example, a trans man stated that we are privileged for having media representation, porn was specifically included in this, because trans men don’t. For those of you who can’t tell how messed up, or why it’s messed up let me it break it down for you:

In porn our videos are tagged with slurs. Literally the name of the genre in which people have sex with us is dehumanizing. The language used in the descriptions is derogatory, and often times the videos focus on humiliation. In mainstream media there isn’t an ounce of neutral representation let alone positive representation. Being inundated with negative depictions of yourself is no privilege. Being invisible certainly isn’t helpful but it doesn’t fuel a culture wide hate of your existence. 

Another example from a different trans man was that, dfab trans people are thought of as going through a phase. We trans women are regarded as being mentally ill. Autoandrophillia has never, and probably will never be put in the DSM, meanwhile Autogynephillia has been in the DSM for years.

For every act of transphobia and cissexism that dfab trans people face, there is an exact opposite, equivalent, or worse act for dmab trans people. 

Going further, attempting to use a term like “transmisandry” is a low level act of transmisogyny. Attempting to claim this unique oppression is an attempt to shield oneself from acknowledging how badly trans women are treated even in queer and trans circles. Don’t do it. Trans men, and other dfab trans people need to own up to their privilege relative to trans women, and work on treating us better.

So why is it bad?

It’s bad because in trans circles traditional sexism is at work. Trans men are men. They internalize messages for men, and are definitely capable of being misogynists. Because of this they are not free from being misogynists, they are not free from being transmisogynists. This effect is blatantly apparent in queer and feminist circles. In those spaces, the inclusion of dfab trans people is often there with the simultaneous exclusion of trans women. These dfab trans people promote the narrative that they were “socialized female” and don’t experience male privilege, but by this logic trans women were socialized as men and therefore can not be trusted to be in women’s spaces because of our supposed male privilege.This is transmisogynistic. In queer spaces, even binary trans men are often considered subversive to gender while trans women are regarded as upholding sexist stereotypes. Furthermore, this narrative plays right into the hands of cissexists, who are more than happy to accept the socialization narrative because at it’s core they hear. “I might look like a man, but I’m a really a woman so I belong here." 

This shouldn’t have to be said. I shouldn’t need to write an essay about this topic, but apparently I do. I have encountered far too many trans men and dfab trans people who just don’t get it. Though, that’s how privilege works isn’t it.l

Me: *asking a new friend if they’re on tumblr*

New Friend: “Ugh, tumblr. You’re not one of those social justice r*tards are you? I’m everything tumblr hates. I’m white, I’m male, I’m straight, and I’m…I can’t remember the other one.”

Me, extremely unamused, searching for nearby murder weapon: “…cisgender?”

New Person Who I Will Definitely Never Be Friends With: “Yeah, that one! Anyways it’s like I’m not even allowed to have an opinion, I mean they preach tolerance but they hate on people like me just because of how I was born, it’s fucking stupid.”

Me: “Wow, that must be really awful to have a single social media platform that doesn’t worship the ground you walk on. If only you were privileged in basically every single other aspect of life, I’m sure that would make up for it.” *walks away before committing homicide*