tv:revenge

Revengecast S02E22 - Truth (part 2)

Listen Up!

Can I kick it?

For the sake of brevity, I’m going to assume you replied “yes, you can!”

Because it’s Revengecast season 2 episode 22: Truth (part 2), the long-awaited Season Finalé, and we’ve got less than no time to waste!

Events Are Happening! Such as: Jack putting a heartbreaking end to all of his friendships–fast or otherwise–and smashing his cellphone ‘neath his hoary old boot to assume the mantle of Stealth Jack in order to infiltrate the highest & deepest echelons of the Conrad Grayson Gubernatorial Security Apparatus. Why? Because that asshole tried to kill him! Or wait, right now we think it’s Ashley what did that, but (bearing in mind the title of this episode), I have a feeling that lie won’t linger longly. Especially not after Ashley points out a Logical Fallacy in Jack’s Emotiona-Driven Emoji Argument via the unremitting iron gavel of the Jashley Investigations Charter. Looks like there’s no room to “Jash” It Out on this one, Jack-o!

Emily is freaking out! Danny is freaking out (and punching people!) Aiden is on a somewhat uncharacteristically even keel, but don’t worry about it because Nolan is picking up the slack by writhing on his fainting couch, sobbing hot tears of worry and clinging to his body pillow (an I, My, Me Strawberry Eggs dakimakura, natch) while the world turns to shit around him. Victoria’s freaking out! Conrad’s freaking out about Victoria’s freak out (while standing gubernatorially on top of a car in the middle of Neo-Ground Zero) and, finally, finally, finally the true TRUTH of the Initiative is revealed in a  way which might surprise you.

(if you haven’t been paying attention)

Briefly, we devote some thought to Why Did We Have To Leave England WHERE WE AT LEAST WE HAD SOME G-D WINDOWS??

But enough about that!! The catastrophic moments that change everyones lives aren’t about to let up, no matter how much Conrad won’t shut up about the chopter, and so, neither can we!

As the winding and weaving events of this season draw a bead on the climax quick as a lazy-eyed sniper, Maple, the golden retriever with a heart of gold (and a nose to match!) briefly ignores her whelming love of beavers, badgers, and all other aquatic mammals and/or rodents to foil Aiden’s escape plans at the Canadian border (HI!), Declan, eddied about by the aftershocks of a desk that kinda fell on him, reassures Chocolate that they will definitely be the Best Teen Moms Ever while secretly planning a long convalescence in the Grey Havens (the dust got him all sniffly!), Stealth Jack dons his greatest disguise yet (y’know, of the two featured in this episode) and struggles to overcome his (possible) Manchurian Candidate conditioning, Victoria receives a strange and [expected] unexpected Thing on her Doorstep, Nolan’s heart is shattered into a million-billion pieces as he finds himself posthumously betrayed by the only woman he ever loved, Conrad just grins a lot (jerk!), and Emily finally lays her bare soul as things ultimately come to an ultimate head in what we can definitely declare is definitely a season finale of a second season of a TV show called Revenge!

*BAM BAM BAM BAAAAAAAM*

Topics for Consideration:

Illegal Greenland Anime Server/Bug-Out Bag
You Can Reach Me Through My Nolan
Slim Phillip: The Terror of Midtown
Retcon(rad grayon)s
Neil deGrasse Tyson — The Martyr We Created, The Hero We Deserve
Ashley: Cyberpunk CEO to the Stars.

Target Status:

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Revengecast S02E22 – Truth (part 2) was originally published on Fast Karate for the Gentleman

@chase-eternally-young

Even in his state of rage, all of Raimundo’s common sense didn’t fly out the window. He knew it wouldn’t be as simple as barging in, taking down Chase’s servants, and then taking down Chase himself.

That’s what the catnip was for. And the Golden Baby Amongus.

Setting off the bizarre Shen Gong Wu on Chase’s front step was enough to get the stone door to swing open and a pack of feline guards to come rushing out. Currently those same guards were rolling around on the ground, pressing their faces into the scattered piles of herbal cat drugs Raimundo had spread out for them or attempting to use the Golden Baby Amongus as a giant scratch toy. None paid Raimundo any mind as he slipped into the unguarded entrance into Chase’s lair.

Unfortunately Raimundo had only been able to get his hands on so much catnip, and he didn’t have near enough for every lion, panther, or jaguar in the citadel. Moving without being spotted wasn’t too difficult. Even these trained warriors weren’t in the habit of checking above their line of sight very often. No, the problem was that Chase’s lair was so impossibly huge.

Raimundo ducked into the shadows as a pair of tigers approached, each carrying a basket of medical supplies in their jaws. As they passed Raimundo decided to tail them. Clay wouldn’t have gone down easily. Rai was certain he knew who those medical supplies were meant for.

I orchestrated a situation where my bully had to listen to 20 people tell her she was garbage to her face while she was unable to say anything back.

(warning: long story)

One day in high school I was scrolling through my tumblr dashboard when I see something that looks familiar and do a double take… It was a piece of artwork that I drew. A piece of artwork that I never posted to the internet or even took a picture of. I was thoroughly freaked out.

A friend of mine reblogged the picture from the original poster, which is how it ended up on my dashboard. The original poster and her cronies were all talking sh*t about it. They called it “atrocious” and that it looked like “a kid scribbled it with crayons.” So then I was thoroughly freaked out and really humiliated.

After some sleuthing I discovered that I knew the original poster and her posse. Sarah, the ringleader, and her cronies were all in my AP Art class. I’ve always had this thing about not stooping down to their level/being the bigger person, so I left the nicest and most civil message in her inbox I possibly could. Something like “Hey Sarah, so I don’t know if you know, but I’m the person who made that drawing. It makes me really uncomfortable that you’re making fun of it on the internet so I would appreciate it if you stopped :).”

Keep reading

When not boning his way through the aristocracy, Byron was really into his pets in a way that was less like a cat lady and more like the Beastmaster. When he went to college, he tried to take his pet dog with him. Cambridge Trinity College was having none of it and stuck to their strict “no dogs allowed” policy, seemingly unaware that they were currently talking to Lord Fucking Byron. After being told no, Byron pleaded with the college to make an exception, but they wouldn’t budge.

Seeing an opportunity to display the subtle dignity of the poetic soul, Byron went out and purchased a bear, then brought it to Cambridge.

It didn’t take long for college officials to notice the abnormally large portion of the student body running in the same direction while screaming , “AAAAAHHHHH BEAR!” When they confronted him about the fact that he was essentially wagging his dick at them in front of everyone, Byron simply asked them to show him where in the rules it said that he couldn’t have a bear. Amazingly, there wasn’t a specific rule against it. Even more amazingly, Cambridge apparently operated on sitcom logic at the time, and officials decided they had no choice but to allow the bear to stay. Presumably they knew that if they did manage to evict the bear, Byron would have simply arrived to campus the next day riding a sled pulled by tigers.

7 Legendary Acts of Petty Revenge