THAT yousana moment made me feel so much joy in my heart. and i even know why. exactly why. sana expresses herself with that little nod in such a beautiful kind of way. she stays true to her belief. she knows what it means to stick to the islamic rules regarding pre-marriage relationships. she is a strong young women and she knows what’s her priority. and yousef appreciates her. he fucking appreciates her. how often happens that in today’s society? you clearly see in his mimic how he has to suppress imagining kissing her. but he knows what it means for sana and how he’s not in the position to change her opinion for his sake.
if this isn’t the most beautiful and well-acted scene we’ve seen until now then i don’t know. it contains so much. sanas inner conflict and how she wants to stay true to her belief, yousefs conflict and the way he distanced himself from islam and even the conflict between them both precious guys. during their conversation that afternoon they both learned about each other and each others belief and opinion on islam and you can already feel the tension between them that’s just so caring and soft and promising. because they accept and tolerate each other and understand each other without words. my heart hurts because it’s so beautiful.
a set of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain for example
(cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also
be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from
yourself. In the case of dissociation.
PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES?
When you are
overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain
control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are
more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.
with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much
(overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation).
In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability
to tolerate it.
§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere
and no one has to know.
· § Use grounding when you
with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.
· § Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and
make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.
· § Rate your mood before and after to test
whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of
· § emotional pain, or your
level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?
· Try not to make judgements or
think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.
· § Stay neutral—no judgments of good or
· § Focus on the present, not the past or future.
· § Grounding
is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.
deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than
relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the
body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.
♣ Describe to yourself in detail your
surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and
a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a
gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head
if you are in public.
♣ Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head
or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and
come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example
C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.
♣ Do an age progression. IThis can be
particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or
state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might
say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example
of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to
your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.
♣ Describe an everyday activity in great detail.
For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the
lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put
it into drive….”
♣ Imagine. For example make up a nice
little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on,
and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful
smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”
♣ Say a safety statement. ‘My name is
_________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in
_____________ the date is _____________.
· ♣ Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each
letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of
· ♣ Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up
your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.
· ♣ Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.
· ♣ Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For
example you could use the Serenity Prayer.
û Run cool or warm water over your hands.
û Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you
· û Touch various objects around you: a
pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours,
weights, textures etc.
· û Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally
grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the
· û Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small
object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a
stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.
· û Jump up and down.
· û Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself
tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.
· û Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.
· û Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours,
textures and feelings that come up for you.
· ♥ Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small
child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes,
but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”
· ♥ Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal,
season, food, time of day, TV show.
· ♥ Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive
pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and
you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no
way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)
· ♥ Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that
you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it
for your wall.
· ♥ Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very
soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the
woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or
· ♥ Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee
shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or
candles if you feel safe to use them
· ♥ Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week.
Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and
pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not
just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.
WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?
♠ Practice as often as possible. Even
when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more
naturally to you when you are struggling.
♠ Practice faster. Speeding up the pace
gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
♠ Try grounding for
a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !!
♠ Try to notice
whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.
♠ Create your own methods of grounding. Any
method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it
♠ Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle.
Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when
you have just started having a flashback.