Hi, I don't know if you can help much but I'll ask anyway. I have a question regarding mom/mum. As an Australian we use "mum" and that leaks into my writing so even if I am working with characters from America I write them saying "mum" but I have had people from America tell me that they say "mom" and my American characters should be saying "mom" but I don't see how that makes any sense. They are both the exact same word with the same meaning? Do I need to switch to mom for American characters?
Yes, yes, yes. I am one of those readers. “Mum” is never, ever used in America unless we’re jokingly pretending to be British or using the expression “Mum’s the word” or “keep mum about it” which means “Don’t tell anbody.” Even then, most people just say “don’t tell anybody.”
Terms for mother in U.S.:
ma (primarily Midwest and Southern dialects)
Your American characters will NOT use mum, I give you my 100% guarantee. My other pet peeve is having American characters say “telly” or “mate.” It’s never going to happen and will drive your readers insane.
I think we can all agree that Yuuri’s speech was a central scene this episode, and although I’ve seen a lot of people giving great explanations about Yuuri’s use of 「愛」 in his speech and the difference between 「愛」(ai) and 「恋」(koi) there aren’t many people who go further into his speech than that.
Firstly I’ll just briefly gloss over 「愛」 and 「恋」because what they each connotate in the Japanese language is important to the Yuri!!! on Ice plot
「恋」is kind of like a physical love. It describes one’s longing for someone, but lacks a deeper emotional bond. Used for boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.
「愛」 is a deep love, it encompasses 恋 but also describes emotional love. While it does mean you long for someone, it kind of implies that you’re willing to do, give, or change something to be with them. Used for family/spouse.
***note: on the contrary, while「恋」does imply a physical romance/love, 「恋人」refers to you’re true love, you’d call your fiancé or spouse that, and「愛人」implies someone you’ve had an affair with. So when Victor uses the word 「恋人」…. ;)))
So when Yuuri says
He’s saying his「愛」is not just the physical and emotional love he has for others, his love is literally his relationship with Victor, it is literally his family, and that it is the complicated/abstract feelings he has for others around him (aka Yuuko, Minako, Nishigori). It is a tangible THING such as actions and words as implied by Yuuri’s use of 「物」 instead of 「事」which would describe an idea or a concept.
Another interesting thing to note is when Yuuri says he has “no name for this emotion”
At first I thought Yuuri might have been downplaying his emotions but then I realised it wasn’t that, it was that Yuuri really just doesn’t know exactly what 「愛」is just yet despite describing it briefly before because he’s still exploring what it truly means for him.
Before Victor, we all know Yuuri had a big crush on Yuuko, hell, he was going to confess in the first episode. But that’s all it was, a crush, which would take neither 「愛」nor「恋」, but 「好き」(suki).
Now I’m sure you know the difference between 「愛する」and「好きです」but just in case
「好きです」refers to a wide range of types of “like”. You use it for objects, hobbies, and topics, or people-wise, friends and crushes.
Through Yuuri’s speech, we are witnessing his growth and exploration of what 「愛」is, what it means to him, and who the word applies to. Most prominent are his developing feelings of 「愛」towards Victor. The phrase
Does mean “to hold on to”, but it also means “to fasten” or “to tie”, and this implies that while Yuuri does not want to let go of Victor, neither does he want Victor to let go of him. Yuuri wants to create a mutual bond with Victor, and he has decided to call this bond 「愛」.
As a side note, here’s further meta on Yuuri and Victor’s developing relationship, shown through the episode preview. It’s very short but I do think it’s a cute example of them becoming closer to each other.
To all the people shrugging off or downright despising Yurikuma Arashi as disgusting male gaze fetish porn or something: I think you’re entirely missing the point. I think it’s time for me to explain you a thing, gaugau!
Yurikuma is one of the works of the brilliant but notorious Ikuhara, known for anime like Utena and production work on bigshot yuri-approved Sailor Moon. He’s said time and time again that he will write lesbian characters and yuri relationships into his stories, mostly for the reason that it usually does not detract from the story at hand, allowing him to build a great story without just romance to it to create substance.
You see, Ikuhara uses his stories to make points, and it’s up to us to try and figure them out. Sure, they’re cryptic, but it’s a fun and a wild ride for us as viewers, and that’s something I refuse to take for granted. With Utena there was a lot about adolescence and some important points about various other things that I’m too tired to think about right now, and with Sailor Moon it was a little more of proof that lesbians could be incorporated into a show for a relatively younger audience in a healthy relationship that didn’t define them wholly as people, amongst other things.
And in Yurikuma, Ikuhara makes perhaps his most poingant point yet. It’s all about you guys. Yep, all of you. Why? Because it’s a cleverly made criticism of both the anime industry, and society as a whole, and their treatment of lesbianism.
Society tries to stay inconspicuous, or invisible. Society follows trends. Those who break the trends pay the price.
From the beginning, the girls who are excluded are those who choose to love as they wish. Metaphors aside, it’s pretty clear that they exclude girls for loving other girls, causing girls like those that Life Sexy spies on to keep their love under lock and key. Many even confuse friendship for love, or at least mask love under the guise of ‘friendship‘, like Yuriika does.
Not only is exclusion a key factor, but the fact that the Yuri Court is under the supreme control of Life Sexy certainly is no coincidence. Yuri as a genre, and lesbianism as a theme or trend in the media, is governed by the laws of eroticism and sex, much more than is the case for gay males or those of another sexuality or gender. From the beginning, we have been both loved and hated by you.
We are lovedin the sense that we are seen as objects of lust in the eyes of men,but hatedin the fact that we exist and yet are not willing to become objects of their affection and so break the rules of society.
You see it all the time. When a new yuri anime comes along, the first general reaction is either ‘is it some male gaze bullshit‘ or ‘regardless of the content, it’s gotta be male gaze bullshit. ew.‘Both attitudes factor into this, as yuri is so often portrayed for the eyes of those that cannot have us and refuse to acknowledge our sexuality that we automatically believe that everything yuri is male gaze and nothing is ‘real‘. That’s how far it’s gone. Don’t believe me?
I was sat in front of the TV with my mum once, flicking mindlessly between two music channels out of boredom. One was your standard near-naked twerking sorta deal, the other was a storytelling sort of music video with two girls falling in love. When the two girls kissed, fully clothed and innocently in love, my mum said that the other video, where girls were writhing nearly-naked around a single guy, was more ‘decent’ and less ‘male-gaze-y’. Now doesn’t that tell you something.Not to say that wearing little clothing and twerking isn’t ok, but to say that one video was clearly meant to be sexual whilst the other was clearly not.
The problem that society has with lesbians but not with gay men so much is one that has arisen out of misogyny. Somewhere along the line somebody thought that lesbians were clearly not lesbians, and in fact were ready to pounce onto the ‘right guy’ when the time came, and unsurprisingly it caught on. I went on omegle once (for shits and giggles) and the first thing the guy said to me was ‘so lesbian means you’re just hard to get, right?‘
A guy liked me once. He was pretty sweet and I didn’t know him well so I tried to turn him down as kindly as possible, explaining that I liked another girl and was 100% gay. He must have misheard ‘gay‘ as ‘i wanna take it slow‘, clearly, and decided to spam me with promises that ‘we can be friends first‘ and ‘it’s ok to start off slow‘. I deleted his number when it became too much. I’m far from alone, and many other people have had it worse.
My own family and people I thought I knew have fallen prey to this ‘invisible storm‘ in real life, and the ‘wall of severance‘ that separates us from the rest of society is built around false eroticism and misogynistic sexual colonialism.
It may sound like I’ve gone off on a tangent here, but everything that I have said and experienced is ultimately relevant. Why? Because Ikuhara is criticising the society that we live in in Yurikuma Arashi, and the extents that the invisible storm of society will go to in order to exclude and harm those who do not ‘follow social cues‘. When we get to a point where even lesbian love in its purest form is considered enough to make us all criminal-bears, then where the hell did we go wrong? If we can’t break down the wall, we are forever fated to destroy ourselves from the inside.
And I was left with some questions and thoughts. Namely…
1. His long will it take for Lucifer to realise that Trixie has pretty much adopted him?
2. Is Chloe warming up? I think she’s warming up to him. Slowly…
3. Maze trying to be a good friend will never stop being heartwarming. You go girlfriend!
4. Speaking of… When are getting another girls’ night?
5. Linda has backed off on the shipping and I get it but I miss my Captain!
6. Mum, why? Just…why?
7. Amenadiel, sweetheart, quit being a bloody pendulum. I can’t decide if I like you!
8. I want to wrap Lucifer with a whole pile of blankets and have Chloe hug him until everything is OK and nothing hurts anymore.
Anyway, Father Dearest is supposed to show up next week. Excuse me while I go prepare for the fireworks…
I was 7 years old when I saw my first shooting star. I still remember the exact location I stood near the parking lot as I watched it pass over. On that star, I wished to be a boy.
The very next morning, I was still in the same exact body as I had been the day before. I was disappointed, puzzled, and no longer believed in shooting stars.
Time went on.
Four years later, I was watching television with my Mum, and there was a man on a talk show. He was talking about being born a female, and there were pictures of him with long hair and breasts.
I was confused and didn’t understand how it was possible for him to grow a beard and no longer have breasts. When I turned to the side to ask my Mum about it, I saw the look of disgust on her face.
I heard the transphobic and homophobic slurs that came out of her mouth; I heard the hate and anger.
Yet I still did not understand; how could mum hate him when she didn’t even know him?
That was the same year mum found out I had feelings for one of my friends (who happened to be a girl). That didn’t end well; I was threatened that I’d be disowned by the family, that God wouldn’t accept me, that I would go to Hell. I never stopped crying after that day.
So I hid; disguised myself and tried to fit in as a heterosexual. Most of my friends were LGBTQ+, and I hadn’t realized it until I saw the people they were dating. My friends gave me hope and strength.
When I turned 16, I came out. Out of fear and self-hatred, I came out as bisexual. I wanted to be accepted by society as much as possible, so I came out to a few of my friends, thinking they would accept me because I was bisexual.
A year later, at the age of 17, with the help of one of my best friends, I came out as a lesbian.
It was difficult; I lost friends and contact with family. When I came out to mum, she made me pray in hopes of making it go away. I never understood how loving another human being was a sin, and I still don’t understand that today.
I would argue with mum everyday; my days were spent self-harming and self-loathing. I attempted suicide a few times as well. I saw no hope, no point of living. My own mother couldn’t put herself in my shoes.
But then I turned 19, and my mom accepted it. She reread the Guru Granth Sahib Ji over and over again, and realized, homosexuality wasn’t a sin. She realized people are capable of loving differently.
For my twentieth birthday, my siblings and parents helped pay for the tattoo that was inspired through this battle: Nirbhau (without fear) and nirvair (without hate). Inked into my arm: Nirbhau teaches Sikhs not to fear, yet homophobia and transphobia still exist in the Sikh community; Nirvair teaches Sikhs not to hate and to accept everybody for who they are, yet Sikhs still bash, bully, jump, and kill those who are part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Every time I was confronted, I would respond with this, and those who chose to be ignorant would come up with something hateful and angry in response, completely ignoring what I had said.
So I would carry on and continue to hate myself for who I was.
I’m still twenty years old;
I no longer self-harm or self-loathe. I figured if people have a problem with who I am, it’s based on their own insecurities.
That’s why a few weeks ago, with the help of my girlfriend, I was able to come out as a man. People were shocked because they didn’t expect it; many of my friends and my immediate family supported me.
Transitioning is difficult though.
I see the hate and confusion in the eyes of others when they look at me, wondering what I am.
I feel vulnerable, insecure, and awkward. It feels like I’m trapped in my body and there’s no exit out.
I know transitioning takes time, but it also requires a lot of emotional support from those closest to you. I feel like I came out during the wrong time because while everybody is doing their own thing, I’m missing that emotional support.
It’s difficult being Indian and queer; honestly, it’s difficult being any ethnicity and queer. The culture we live in today is so ignorant and full of hate; most days, I feel like there’s no way out.