turtle times


In just three weeks they had become inseparable. They went on many dates that Austen told Dexter were not actually dates. She spent many nights sleeping at his house mumbling to him before she fell asleep that it meant nothing and he would just laugh as he promised her breakfast in the morning. 

Most of the time spent together was casual, playing board games in their underwear or watching bad horror movies surrounded by half empty takeout boxes. Other times they dress up, Austen in dresses that she saved for special occasions and Dexter in shirts that buttoned up too high and made him feel like he was being strangled. They ate appetizers at restaurants they couldn’t afford and mispronounced names of expensive wines. 

Austen made sure not to give him any ideas that this was more than just a casual relationship. She didn’t allow hand holding or any sort of PDA that would suggest they were something more. But occasionally Dexter would forget her rigid rules and his hand would stray to the small of her back or her hip and she would let it linger, but only for just a moment. 

I drew phil but

it needs improvements


  • John: We have some exciting news.
  • Hercules: Okay.
  • Alexander: As you know, John and I have been together a long time, and a lot of things I never thought possible now seem possible.
  • Hercules: Okay.
  • Alexander: After a careful evaluation of our relationship, we decided that the time was right to take a step forward.
  • Hercules: Okay.
  • Alexander: Do you want to say it?
  • John: Let’s say it together.
  • Both: We’re getting a turtle!
  • Hercules: This is why I’ve been saying we should keep champagne on ice.

Can I take a moment to talk about teenage mutant ninja turtles
Because I have to
What fucker was at a meeting discussing new kid shows and was like “I fucking love turtles. Let’s do a show about that.”
And they approved it somewhere along the line and another Fucker was like “I see your turtles and I raise you: ninja turtles.”
And they could have stopped at that. That’s it. That’s the shows. Ninja turtles.
Because lo and behold there is another fucklet somewhere in this kids tv show storyboard who thinks that the only way to possibly make these ninja turtles better is to make them mutant. Wow. Okay
So now we’re at the point where you have mutant ninja turtles and no where along the way to creating these ninja turtles did anyone ever think “This is too much. This is too fucking much. These turtles have too much going for them.”
And evidently no one did because now these turtles are teenagers too
So then you get Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Okay. I can accept this. That is the show. Now these turtles, do they have regular names like other cartoons?
Ah! Yeah. No.
Because these already soooooo fucking special turtles being teenage, mutants, and ninjas, or course, required that their names be famous dead artists. Wow.

I have a lot of feelings about teenage mutant ninja turtles also I have never watched the show


Look at Raph’s reaction to his father saying “Goodbye.” It’s heartbreaking. 

Donnie, on the other hand, dozes off for a little bit …

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