turtle boys

theparadoxwitchofvoid  asked:

RAMÈNE MON BÉBÉ! RAMENER MON PRTIR GARÇON DE TORTUE!!!!!!!!!! 😠😢😠😢

This has gotta be French bc I only understand like one or two words lol, but I’m sure it says something like why did you do this to my turtle boy lmaooo . AND IM SORRY D: (I don’t speak french friend 😥)

Trying to figure out if you’re ace or aro can be so goddamn hard because it’s like, trying to find the absence of something. Imagine you’re at a pond and you want to know if there are any turtles, or fish. Say you find a turtle and you’re like “great! Now I know there are turtles.” Or a fish, now you know for sure there are fish. Or you find both, and now you know for a fact there are both turtles and fish in the pond.

But like, if you don’t find any turtles it might be that there are no turtles or maybe you’re just really shitty at looking for turtles and maybe you THINK you saw a turtle over there or maybe it was just a stick. Maybe there are only a few turtles. Maybe you need to do something special to find the turtles. Maybe a bunch of these rocks are actually turtles but you couldn’t tell them apart. Maybe there are no turtles. You have no idea. Meanwhile some people are saying “Oh there have to be turtles! You’ll find them eventually ;)” or “How many turtles have you found in your pond?” or “Try planting some vegetables at the shore to attract the turtles.” Or “Oh no! What disaster happened to your pond that there are no turtles?” And you’re just standing there wet with an empty net and a tired expression.

But whatever because whether there are turtles or fish or not your pond’s ecology works just fine without them because that’s what eco-communities do they form a system around what they have. You aren’t missing anything if you don’t have turtles you just have a pond system without turtles. If someone tried to change you by pouring a bunch of turtles into your pond it would probably fuck something up.

So you don’t have to be entirely sure. You don’t have to search every inch of the damn pond before you can decide there are probably no turtles. If you want to take the aro or ace label because you think it fits go for it. And if you do find your turtles you can rename the pond. That’s fine.

ALRIGHT MY DUDES I’M NOT GONNA BORE YOU WITH THE RABBIT HOLE I WENT DOWN TO FIND THIS BUT JUST LOOK AT IRL KEITH

His name is Ernie Reyes Jr. but he played a character named Keno (KENO?? KEITH?? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT) in the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (again, don’t ask how I got here)

He’s a pizza delivery boy that gets caught up in turtle shenanigans and literally only exists for one movie but please just look at him.

The black t-shirt, the bright red jacket, tHE MULLET. Did I also mention he’s Filipino because I could go for some Filipino!Keith headcanons like sign me the fuck up

AND WHAT’S THIS??? Have you always wanted to know what Keith would look like reacting to meeting cryptids irl well HERE YOU FUCKING GO. THROWBACK TO THE OG CRYPTIDS OF MY CHILDHOOD: GIANT RATMAN AND HIS GREEN DISCIPLES

Here’s him ready to fight a bitch in a tank top because he loves fisticuffs and is a hella good martial artist. Within the first like four minutes of the movie, he sees these dudes robbing a store and goes up to them ALONE telling them “you’re under arrest” HOLDING A BUNCH OF PIZZAS and attempts to take all of them out alone. I mean he beats the shit out of them but like then a bunch more guys come running out and then he’s like oH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH but luckily the turtles come to save his ass.

Did I also mention that out of all the turtles he is most similar to Raphael? The red turtle. The most impatient and impulsive turtle. Always ready to fight. PLEASE. Also Raphael doesn’t really like him at first but then Keno suggests he use himself as bait to find the baddies and suddenly Raphael is like “I hate to agree with him but he’s gotta point.” So even though Splinter is like “TOO DANGEROUS” the two of them break off from the rest of the team and do the mission anyways (um) and accidentally find The Big Bad™ (uM) and then get into hot shit (UM) and Raphael sacrifices himself for Keno (UMMMMMMMMMM). But don’t worry Keno brings everyone back to save him.

And then later there’s a scene where Splinter tries to teach him how to meditate but Keno physically can’t do it and runs off to fight instead because fuck patience he needs to kick something. Here’s this idiot literally back flipping onto the stage to fight Shredder one-on-one like wtf he’s so extra™

He also had an action figure even though he was only in one movie and HOLY SHIT THIS IS MORE KEITH LIKE THAN THE KEITH ACTION FIGURE????

In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK WAS KEITH DOING WITH THE NINJA TURTLES IN 1991?? IDK BUT I FOUND HIM

Bonus: Keno sticking his leggy out

6

he’s so beautiful (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

so i had asked stuff over anon since this is a side blog ah… aahaha uwu 

But hey i diddly dang sketched it all up and stuff and like haven’t done homework but what ever hope you like it?? ;; @kaxpha

i love the AU so much it like gives me all the angst i need tbh uwu