have you considered that maybe i am not pleasant?

maybe i wear lipstick so that
you will see my pretty pink mouth
wrapping around a coffee cup lid
and be distracted enough not to notice
that i am intelligent and powerful;
a threat.

maybe i draw my brows into high arches
so you will look at my unimpressed skepticism
and overlook my spiteful glare
as a trick of my silly, girlish routine.

maybe i wear my heels so high and thin
so that i grasp your attention with the sway of my hips
as i listen to the click-clack-click against the floor
and know that if you should try to overpower me
i walk on sharpened knives.

maybe when i laugh at your worthless jokes
i am really baring my fangs
waiting patiently for the day
that i sink them into your neck.

i am not made of porcelain pleasantries;
you will find that these things are my armor
to keep you at a distance
so you do not step on me and shatter
my fragile control.

i am not a husk – i am not wilting.
i am turning my head
so that the fire blazing through my eyes
does not catch on the accelerant of your sweaty palms
and burn your bones to dust.

i am not your pretty girl;
i am a fury, a faerie, a phoenix –
a forest of werewolves and wendigos
that will carve out your chest
so that the next time i paint my pretty pink lips
i will taste the copper tang of your dying breaths.
—  R.K., I Am The Wolf Only Barely Contained

you had me before
and you will have me again


2.06 vs 3.19  

     ↳ “You actually think my parents won’t be looking for me?”
          "Not if they don’t think anything’s wrong.”

love a girl with fire in her eyes.
a girl who walks on burning coals,
dragons coiled ‘round her waist
and hot blood beneath her skin.
she dances atop candles, smoke
billowing from her mouth with every
kiss. love a girl who burns.

love a girl with ice in her lungs.
a girl with frozen claws and
eyes so blue they pierce even the
warmest of days. hold her hand
until your teeth chatter and when
her kiss turns your lips blue,
kiss her harder; love the girl
who was born from a glacier.

love a girl built of ash and rosemary.
a girl who leaves flowers in her wake
and ivy writhing just beneath her skin.
her hair is a curtain of leaves
and thorns and her skin tastes
like rainwater and thyme and
when you fuck, the earth shakes.
love a girl who keeps you in the jungle.

love a girl who walks on air.
with windswept hair and silken wings
who sings and flies with birds. when
you see her your stomach swoops and
her kiss is like pure oxygen, heady and
overwhelming. love a girl who rides the winds.

but do not love a girl you build from stone.
bite and chisel from marble and tell her,
“you are everything.” even stone decays.
to build her up is to break her down
because wildness should be warily tamed.
free her from the oven, from your hammer,
and watch her float away.
—  to love a girl, R.K.
i. not everyone must be a serpent. some are just the flower, but no flowers are innocent; a dandelion can push through solid concrete in order to let itself breathe. belladonna is as beautiful as it is deadly, and there’s a reason roses come with thorns. a venus fly trap is not ‘better’ than a wildflower.

ii. not everyone will like you. filling your thoughts with those who don’t is like tying an anchor to your ankle and placing a cinder block heavy on your spine. their words echo because you believe in them, and because you want to be right more than you want to listen to the voices that build you up. listen more. it’s important. if people do not have kind words for you, beat them back, and find those who do.

iii. when he tells you to quiet down, to stop cutting in, speak over him; his words are not any more valuable than yours. speak until you’ve drowned him out, and then when he tries to raise his voice again, ask him how it feels to be silenced.

iv. being the 'better person’ is not always the right path. killing with kindness does not work on those who are too blinded by ego to understand. it is not fighting fire with fire to fight back – your mouth has turned into a fire hose, and the blasting, awful pressure of the water is just as intense as the burning destruction you are trying to prevent.

v. when she asks you if you love her, say yes. your mother will still love you when you do. do not give up one love for another.

vi. you are not something to be mended. the only person who can decide whether or not you need fixing is you. those who try to find places to repair, who twist with screwdriver questions and hammer with sharp words, are not trying to help you. they are trying to help themselves, and you have turned from project to person. let them go. make them let go of you.

vii. it will get better, but this will be hard to achieve. fight tough and fight dirty, because the world will not go easy on you. nature has molded you into a target; strike like an arrow.

viii. do not rush into love, and do not shy away from it. romance is not a struck match, you are not made of gasoline. caution does not equate avoidance.

ix. love what you do and love it boundlessly. there is nothing to gain from pretending to hate what makes you feel good. be unashamed of things that fill your heart, because your happiness is more important than whoever you are trying to please.

x. breathe. inhale, exhale. fill your lungs and know that you are alive, and that your brain is a system with endless complexities, and that your body is a miracle.

breathe. inhale, exhale. you are whole.
—  R.K., Remember This

i am not your ocean.

you cannot dump the waste
and toxic shit from your life into me
because it is convenient –
because you know i will not fight back.

you kill the bright and vibrant things in me
and leave me radioactive,
the corpses of good intentions
dredged from the depths of my lungs
until even gasping breaths cannot satisfy.

you will not drill into me
just to find the core
of something i haven’t begun to understand
in myself.

it’s when you make oceans out of people
that you become dangerous;

i will be a shelter for those you’ve left infected.

—  R.K., Walk On Water

3.10 vs 4.01

     ↳ “You know, I actually used to be the one with the plan. Well, or at least a Plan B.”