I was bored on my way to uni, so I decided
to mull over some fake banter between Asala (the elf-blooded teenage daughter
of one of my Qunari Inquisitors, Taashath Adaar) and the companions, should she
tag along on missions.
Asala: So you’re like the Qunari-Qunari, are you? All right and proper?
Bull: [chuckles] Oh, I am seldom proper, kid. But yes, I follow the Qun.
Asala: You know, my Da’s not that different from you.
Bull: [grunts disapprovingly]
Asala: No, but you see: you’d think he’d be able to do anything he wants
without you Bennies watching over him? Well, nah! With a face and horns like
those, you can only be a merc, and nothing else! It’s like a role - only
instead of the Qun, it’s assigned to you by humans, and you can never escape!
You can’t be an artist, or a baker, or a tailor… Did you know that my Da is
actually great at making lace? He…
Asala: Fine, fine… Shutting up.
[thoughtfully to himself] Bennies…
Cassandra: When I was your age, I had already spent many years training as a
Asala: Is that why you are so uptight? Jealous that I get to have fun and
Cassandra: [disgusted noise] My point is that you could at least try learning
to be more disciplined. Your father worries about you; it… it distracts him
from his duties.
Asala: Yeah, well, so do you, but you don’t see me prattling to you about
Varric (if in party): Hah! Good retort, Braids!
Cassandra: I… I don’t know what you mean… How could I possibly…
Asala: Go discipline your cheekbones, Lady Seeker. They are too
Vivienne: If I were you, my dear, I’d spend less time around that Sera
Sera (if in party): She’s not a baby, yeah? She can pick whatever
friends she likes, with no help from bossy bitches like you!
Vivienne: All those… unseemly pranks, races around the keep in the middle
of the night - and you are picking up some of her mannerisms, too! That is
quite unbecoming for the Inquisitor’s daughter.
Asala: But I swear I saw you smile when I did that thing to Cullen!
Vivienne: It was… mildly amusing, yes - but that is not my point, darling.
(If Sera is in party) Asala and Sera together: No breeches!
Asala: Hey, can I poke you for a moment?
Solas: Not in the literal sense, I hope?
(if in party): Aww look, Master Egghead is still
upset about the tadpoles in his mug!
Asala: No… I just thought you might look at this for me. It’s, um, a
bracelet - but I can’t put it on cuz my wrists are too big, so I wear it on a
chain like an amulet of sorts. It belonged to my mother.
Solas: It has… Elvhen writing on it.
Asala: Sure it does! My mother was an elf!
Sera (if in party): Eww, I knew you were part elfy, but I never figured
you’d be hold-on-to-weird-junk sorta elfy!
Solas: And I suppose you want me to translate it for you? Very well. I
shall examine it when we are in a quieter place.
Sera (if she was in party during the previous banter): Hey, ‘bout last
time. I… I sorta take it back and all. You are all right, even with the elfy
Taashath: You make it sound like she should be ashamed of her mother!
Sera: Whoah, don’t go all red-eyed on me!
Asala: Da, she didn’t mean anything by it.
Sera: Sure I did! I meant s'all good!
Taashath: Hmph. All the same, think before you talk next time.
Vivienne (if in party): Sometimes you are impossibly demanding, my dear.
Solas: That inscription on your mother’s bracelet - it is a prayer to
Mythal. I translated the whole text and sent my notes up to your quarters.
Asala: Oh, thanks Egg… I mean Solas. After all these years, we’ll
finally know what it means! Even my mother herself could only make out a couple
of words. Right, Da?
Taashath: Yes. Most of the folks in Liliel’s alienage could barely read
common, let alone the language of the ancient elves.
Solas: That is… Most unfortunate.
Sera (if in party): Ya know what’s unfortunate? Going this long without
food! I think I’ll go shoot a ram or somethin’.
Asala: You know, Blackwall, the way you go on, I could make a sport of
dangling off a cliff to see who runs faster to catch me, you or Da.
Taashath: Don’t even think about it!
Blackwall: Your safety is not a joking matter!
Ugh, why do you never loosen up around me? Is it
something about my face? My voice? Me being taller than you?
Blackwall: You are the Inquisitor’s child. My first duty is to protect you.
Asala: This child is seven-bloody-teen years old, thank you very much.
I thought your father said you had only turned
Asala: I’ll get back on that when you’re less boring.
Hey Bull, are there singers under the Qun? Or
Bull: That what you wanna be, kid?
Asala: Yeah, kinda… But have you ever seen a Vashoth singer anywhere?
Bull: Can’t say I have. Unless you count drunken singing in taverns.
Asala: Do you think the Qunari Tama… things would have picked the right
role for me? The role that matches what I wanna do with my life?
Taashath: Don’t put any ideas into her head, Bull!
Bull: Wasn’t going to, boss. Like I said, the Qun is not for everyone.
That teenage rebellion thing your kid likes doing - probably wouldn’t end well.
Varric: These poems you write, Braids - they are pretty good.
Asala: Wow, really?
Varric: You actually make the words rhyme without making the whole thing
seem like one of those grating kiddy songs.
Asala: Hah, I don’t suppose there are too many kiddy songs about
gravestones and doomed lovers and such.
Taashath: About that… I could never get why you have to make all your stuff
Varric: She’s a teenager, Floofy. Writing dark poetry is part of her job
description. But unlike some teenagers, she is actually good at it.
Cassandra: I… I happened to be passing by when Varric was looking at your
last poem, and accidentally glanced over his shoulder.
Asala: Oh? So now you’re gonna tell me that poetry’s undisciplined too?
Cassandra: No, I just… Why did that woman’s husband have to die?
Asala: So she’d mourn him and break the reader’s heart?
Varric (if in party): Don’t bother, Braids. The Seeker only accepts
Cassandra: That is… the most ludicrous reasoning I ever heard! Besides, she
had plenty of opportunity to come to his aid in that battle! If she had flanked
the enemies that he had engaged…
Asala: She isn’t based on you, you know. Because that would mean her
hubby’s based on Da, and I can’t kill off my own father!
Cassandra: [disgusted noise]
Dorian: I hear you made quite a scene at the execution site.
Asala: Hah, I sure did! Shame you weren’t there to see it!
Dorian: I deemed drinking myself witless to be a far more pleasant pastime
than watching your father cut off my former mentor’s head.
Taashath: Dorian, we’ve been over this.
Dorian: With you, yes. But not with the girl. She deserves a personal thank
you for standing up to a certain valiant leader.
Asala: I am great at that. Years of practice.
(Some time later)
Dorian: I wonder… What exactly did you say to change his mind?
Asala: Well, Da ranted on and on about how your hooded friend turned me
into a dead chunk of red lyrium in the bad future, and how hurt and angry he
was. And I said, 'So now you know how he is feeling!’. And then Da made this
droopy face he is making now and…
Taashath: Will you two please change the subject?
Dorian: Very well. Pray tell me, young Asala, what are your sentiments
Cole: Flowing, rhythmic patterns, cryptic but beautiful, how does he do
it? You… You really like the way I talk?
Asala: Of course I do! It’s like you’re brimming over with poetry all the
Cole: I just try to sort through things I hear. It’s hard sometimes, when
people are so solid and are hurting too loudly. I… may not make a lot of
Asala: Hey, I don’t make a lot of sense either! We can start a club!
Blackwall: And then he said: but at least the turkey still has its tail!
Asala: Hah, finally! I knew you were not completely hopeless! What a great
Blackwall: It’s from my old army days.
Asala: Huh, I thought army humour would be dirtier.
It is. I had to censor it somewhat so your father
wouldn’t kill me.
(Some time later)
Asala: What about Grey Warden humour? Is it dirty too?
Blackwall: Well… The thing is, by the time I joined the Wardens, I had lost
some of my boyish penchant for amusing tales.
Asala: Too bad… Well, army humour it is, then! Do I get to hear the
uncensored version when I turn eighteen?
(After the cutscene where Dorian tells
Taashath that Felix died)
Dorian: It was you, wasn’t it?
Asala: Salt sprinkles on Josie’s chocolate? Yeah, it was me. But I only
added a little!
Dorian: No, I mean that poem on Alexius’ desk. The one about the man who
planted a tree and then, when it withered, remembered how he had sat in its shade?
He told me about it this morning.
Asala: I have no idea what you’re talking about! Trees! Shade! I’d never
write such sappy nonsense!
Dorian: You brought the man who almost destroyed the world to the verge of
tears. That is quite an accomplishment, young lady - and I say that as an
incredibly accomplished person myself.
Asala: So… You and Da - did you do the bnb thing or what?
Cassandra: Bnb? What manner of teenage jargon is this?
Asala: Oh, you know… Birds and bees.
Cassandra: Birds and… Oh! Oh, I see!
Taashath: Asala, leave the Lady Seeker alone!
Asala: Still Lady Seeker, huh? So I guess you didn’t do it… What’s
stopping you? I mean, you have the hots for each other - it’s sooo obvious!
Taashath: Asala, stop this - or so help me, when we return to Skyhold, you’re
Woke up from a nightmare again. Demons, calling,
clawing, constricting; Uldred’s eyes, bottomlessly black, suddenly not two but
a dozen; Meredith bathed in crimson. And then - soft, soothing, shimmering,
rainbows dancing over his bed. It had been so long since he started the morning
with a smile.
Taashath: What are you talking about, Cole?
Asala: We put shards of coloured glass into the holes in Cullen’s ceiling.
Now they both protect him from the rain and give off pretty light!
Taashath: Wait, have you been climbing the roof?
Cole: She didn’t fall. She didn’t die. Today is another day when she
Asala: Yeah… Thanks for this cheery thought, Cole.
Cole: It wasn’t me. It was your father.
Dorian: The books I ordered from Tevinter have finally arrived.
Asala: Does this mean you’ll give me a lesson tonight?
Dorian: Of course. You already have those Orlesian volumes, don’t you?
Southern historians are biased against Tevinter; our historians are biased
against the rest of the world… It will be educational to pit them against one
Asala: And fun!
Taashath: Wait, did my daughter just call learning fun?
Dorian: Why the tone of surprise? What did you try to teach her?
Taashath: How to run a merc company.
Dorian: Well, there you have it!
Asala: Um, Cassandra… If you hesitate about Da because of me - please
Cassandra: Because of you?
Asala: Yeah, like… If you worry that I’ll hate you for stealing him and
replacing my mother and all.
Cassandra: Nothing could be further from my mind! Even if my relationship with
the Inquisitor wasn’t strictly professional!
Asala: Well, in case it ever stops being 'strictly professional’ - I don’t
even remember my mother. Da raised me alone. And I actually think it’d be good
for him to have someone in his life. Take care of the stupid old fella and all.
Taashath: I heard that!
(After Taashath saves the Chargers)
Asala: Hey, Bull… Don’t look so glum! Remember that time you said the
Qun isn’t for everyone? Maybe it wasn’t for you too. It just took you this long
to figure out.
Bull: Hmph. And what do you suppose is for me then?
Asala: Maryden put some of my poems to music. She’ll be singing them
tonight at the tavern. Krem will come, and the other Chargers. I think if you
come too, you’ll understand what is for you.
Huh, I think you spend too much time round Cole.
That cryptic shit is beginning to rub off.
Taashath: Bull, what did I tell you?
Bull: Oh, right, boss - don’t swear in front of the kid! Fuck, I’m sorry!
Asala: You know, it’s kinda funny.
Blackwall: What is?
Asala: I heard stories about the Grey Wardens plenty of times when I was a
kid, with the Blight having recently ended and all. And when I met you, you
were just like I imagined the Grey Wardens should be.
Blackwall: And now… I have disappointed you.
Asala: What? No! The Grey Wardens are gonna disappoint me from now on, if
they don’t pull off all this amazing noble-warrior-atoning-for-his-past stuff!
Blackwall: You… You don’t know the whole story, do you?
Asala: I know enough to believe that you deserve sticking around with our Inquisition.
And you can always tell me the uncensored version when I am eighteen, right?
Cassandra: Are you feeling better now? Have you asked Vivienne for a potion?
(If Vivienne is in party) Vivienne: She has indeed, my dear. But
such things are generally not discussed in public.
(Otherwise) Asala: Sure! But do we… do we have to discuss my darkspawn week
in front of everyone?
Cassandra: I just wanted to make sure you were all right.
Asala: Aww, thanks, mom.
Cassandra: You do not have to call me ’m'am’.
Asala: I wasn’t.
(After Last Resort of Good Men)
Asala: Damn, Dorian.
Dorian: Was that expletive a sign of admiration for my good looks?
Asala: I mean… My Da yells at me sometimes, and tries to punish me when
I mess up… And this makes me think that he is the meanest person in the
world… But it’s nothing like what you went through, is it?
Dorian: Oh, there were plenty of temper tantrums on my part too.
Asala: And for good reason! Me, I’m just a selfish teenager who wants
attention - but you… You are amazing and you deserve better!
Dorian: You are not exactly worthless yourself, young lady.
(After Bring Me the Heart of Snow White)
Vivienne: Bastien’s family shall be holding a musical salon as a tribute to
both himself and his wife. I would very much like it if you attended, my dear.
Asala: Whaa- ? Really?
Vivienne: If your father gives you permission, of course. You have such a
wonderful singing voice; it is wasted in the courtyards and bath houses of
Asala: But… Won’t they be scared of me being… me? Unless you give me a
mask to wear, I suppose.
Vivienne: It will be a half-face mask only; otherwise how would you sing?
Vivienne: Being who you are ought to be a source of strength, not weakness.
Always remember that, darling.