tune-in-tomorrow

2

Pokemon: Who’s That Pokemon Pt1.

As he taking a shortcut that he normally always take through the forest when he was suddenly jumped by this mystery Pokemon without any poke balls or Pokemon he had no other choice but to grab hold of it and tame this Pokemon by his bear hands! stay tune for tomorrow as we watch as Trainer Jaylyn attempt to capture this Pokemon without the help of help! will our Trainer Jaylyn win and make this Pokemon submit? or will the Pokemon flee before he could capture it!

@moaneyyx @momosecr3tz @vixen-brat @the–rebeljezebel–rosey @kiingreapa @nessaxsweet @l0vebubblez @myrexylove @zealotdon @raziel123 @ravensspace @myrosalee @vanillabratxxx @ladytorturexxx @rinthedork

  • Talks the most, says the least: Aries, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius
  • Talks the least, says the most: Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn
  • Does an equal amount of talking and saying: Leo, Virgo, Aquarius, Pisces
Little Ham Man (Small?Hamilsquad x Reader) 3

A/N: I will edit this later, because my laptop is out of commission and I only have my tablet ATM! Enjoy! @sin-cake-finished-and-baked 

Previous Chapter II Next Chapter

——– 

You backed up against the wall, watching them. Laurens raised his eyebrows at your reaction, standing up from his seat. He was towering over you, the angle completely different from what you remembered. You rubbed your eyes, trying to see if this was a dream. 

You noticed the library computer broken, your document probably erased. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asked, his freckles much more prominent than it used to be. Lafayette stood next to him, watching you. He tried to touch your arm, but you jumped away. You immediately regretted that, seeing his face drop. Mulligan stood up, and began walking towards you. You put your hands up, and he stopped immediately. 

“I…I-” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes. “I can’t deal, I need a second.” You walked out, closing the door behind you. You sighed, leaning your back against the door. 

What the hell just happened? Your small friends became these huge, handsome men? Dealing with Hamilton would have been fine, but all of them? You felt your heart pounding in your chest, blocking out every other sound. 

Three Months Ago: 

You were cleaning your house, straightening up your room. As you organized your books, you noticed a small figure. At first, you thought it was a mouse. But on further examination, it had hair, and a green outfit on. Like something from the history books. 

“What…” You whispered, staring at it. The small figure turned around, glaring. 

“Took you long enough to clean this place up. Do you know how many dust bunnies I had to fight to stay alive?” He gestured to the red stain on his shirt. “I’ve killed many men, Y/N, but these things are much more vicious than that." 

You stayed silent, staring at the small man in front of you. "Oh no, I’ve gone crazy. I’m completely insane. My sister told me not to move here, but I didn’t listen. And now I’m a crazy lady with small men talking to her.” You said, rubbing your forehead. 

The man laughed. “Well, seeing Alexander Hamilton in front of you must be a shock. I mean, look at me.” He did a pose, and you grinned. And he’s a pompous asshole. 

“Okay, then, Alexander Hamilton, how did you get into my room? And why are you the size of my pinky?” He frowned, crossing his arms. You couldn’t help it, even though he was already annoying, he was cute. 

“I was having relations with a-" 

"Hey! No need for those details. How old are you again?” He rolled his small eyes, jumping down into your hand. You carried him to the desk, and he climbed off your hand, leaning on your coffee cup. He cleared his throat, looking back up at you. 

“You know, for being such a smart woman, you are quite the idiot. Just because I am small does no mean I don’t indulge in my desir-" 

"Okay, like I said, we’re done talking about your relations." 

"This is pertinent to the story, Y/N. But I can leave out the explicit parts of you’d like,” you nodded and he continued, “She gave me this small bottle. She told me that it an an elixir that would pleasur- help, me, rise to the occasion.” He smirked at his play on words. 

“I took it, and I ended up here. It was not a fun experience, I was terrified for the first few weeks." 

"You’ve been here for weeks? Why didn’t you come to me earlier?” “You had these ‘midterms’ that you were worried about, and I did not want to disturb your thoughts. It is hard to bring your mind into that pace, and I understand that if I interrupted you would have failed theses terms." 

For a jerk, he was kind. He smiled at you sweetly. "But now that we’re here, can I eat something? All I’ve ever had was crumbs when you were sleeping. You almost stepped on me once, you know. I was going to start a duel with you." 

"Yea, yea. See where that lands you.” You mumbled, walking to the kitchen. Hamilton jumped on your back, sitting in the hood of your sweatshirt. 

“Excuse me? What do you mean by that?”

After giving yourself a few more seconds to calm down, you opened the door back up again. They all stood there, blocking your way into the room. You cleared your throat. 

“Mind letting me through?” Mulligan pushed the others back, giving you a path. He was massive, his muscles prominent on the sleeves of his shirt. 

As you glanced at them, you noticed that they were wearing the doll clothes that you gave them when they were small. You went back to your seat, your head on your hands. The boys followed, sitting around the square table. 

“Okay, first off, how-" 

"You’re really beautiful, Y/N.” Laurens blurted out. You widened your eyes, a blush appearing on your cheeks. He laughed nervously, looking at his hands. “You were beautiful before, but seeing you now, it is even more shocking." 

Mulligan hit his friend’s arm, glaring at him. "Hey, stop bothering Y/N when she’s trying to talk.” Laurens rolled his eyes. 

“Here comes the jealousy again." 

"I told you, for the last time-" 

Lafayette sighed at the two of them arguing, looking at you with sympathy. You didn’t notice before, but his hair was curly, his facial hair trimmed nice. A part of you wondered how he kept it groomed, but that was not the problem right now. 

"Mon amis, Y/N is still waiting. Please give her the consideration to let her speak.” Hamilton laughed, looking at you. 

He had a goatee, which was trimmed as well. He wore the jeans and plaid shirt that you gave him. His arms were crossed, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “You are quite lovely, Y/N. Before, you were this giant that didn’t let me do anything. But now…" 

Mulligan stood up again, about to walk over to Hamilton. This time, you knew you would not be able to stop them without getting hurt yourself. "Hamilton, I’m going to kick your as-" 

"Guys, can we stop this testosterone fest for a second? I need to figure out how this happened, and I can’t if you keep on hitting on me and arguing.” Mulligan widened his eyes. 

“I’m sure we did not hit you, Y/N.” You rubbed your forehead. 

“That’s not what I, never mind. Just, just sit down and listen.” You grumbled at them. Hamilton shot Mulligan another glare, before sitting down across from you. Laurens sat next to you, his eyes never leaving yours. You looked away from him, the stare too intense for you. 

“Okay, so how’d you guys become human-sized?” You glanced at Lafayette and Mulligan, “Maybe a little bigger than that." 

"It’s Hamilton’s fault.” Mulligan started. Hamilton rolled his eyes. 

“Here we go again.” “I told you to stop blaming him, Hercules.” You replied, frowning. He widened his eyes, beginning to protest. 

“Alas, it was the Caribbean’s fault this time.” Lafayette said, defending his friend. “While Laurens and myself were stopping them from fighting, Hamilton fell off the desk. We all ran to make sure he was okay, and he was gone. Laurens jumped down as well, and saw Hamilton climbing inside the computer. Laurens didn’t want him to get hurt, and neither did we, so we all followers him. It is interesting to see how much society has changed.” Lafayette commented. 

Laurens continued the story. “We found a red wire, and Hamilton touched it, shocking all of us. Immediately, we grew in size. And I’m sorry about your computer, Y/N,” he said, glancing at the broken parts, “We did not know.”

 Hamilton said nothing the whole time, looking at his hands. After he noticed the silence, he glanced up at you. He smiled innocently. “Yes, Y/N?" 

"I’m happy that the four of you are bigger now, but why did you have to go and look through things you aren’t supposed to? You could have hurt yourself, or have gotten yourself killed.” Hamilton looked at you, and eyebrow raised. 

“Ah, do you finally care about my well-being? You usually trap me under a glass prison." 

"I would now, if you weren’t huge.” You mumbled. “I heard that, you know." 

"We need to get out of this room and go home. We have to figure out why this happened and how can we send you guys back.” You said, grabbing your bag. Looking at the destroyed computer, you sighed. “How am I going to explain this to the staff?" 

"You don’t?” Hamilton suggested, standing up from his chair. “Let’s just go, and pretend like nothing is out of the ordinary." 

"I can’t just leave it like that, that’s rude and unnecessary.” Laurens grabbed your hand, pulling you out the room. You protested, but the other boys followed, quickly walking out the library. 

You were looked at strangely, but you ignored them. Laurens was walking the correct way to the apartment, and you wondered how did he know. 

“John, how do you know how to get back to my house?” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, smiling. 

“I leave when you leave sometimes. Usually in your hoodie, but I’m in your purse most of the time." 

"Laurens-!” Lafayette moved next to you. “It is true, Y/N. We have left the house more than once.” You shook your head at them. 

“I am ashamed of all of you." 

Mulligan sighed. "You know, you don’t have to hold Laurens’ hand the whole time.” You looked t your entwined fingers, and pulled it out quickly, seeing the disappointment on his face. 

Hamilton stayed quiet, walking behind all of you. You slowed down, meeting him side by side. Even though he was the shortest, he was still taller than you. 

You touched his arm, and he looked down at you. “Are you okay, Alex?” He nodded slowly.

“There’s just a lot to take in, as all. I am used to seeing everything bigger than me, and it’s strange to see you small.” He said, grinning. “But I don’t mind this height difference." 

You walked into your house, holding the door open for the boys. Once of your neighbors noticed you bringing in all the boys, and looked at you with a raised eyebrow. He was one of the many nosy neighbors that you had, always trying to see what you were doing. 

To entertain his mind, you looked back at the boys, then at him. "We’re dating, polygamy you know?” You whispered, and he widened his eyes, closing his door in your face. You laughed, locking your door behind you. 

“Y/N? I think you need to see something!” Lafayette called from your room. You threw your bag on your counter, walking into the next room. The boys were standing around your desk, staring at the surface. 

“Guys? What’s up?” You asked, pushing past them. You looked down, widening your eyes. “What…?”

Tips For Those Who Are Considering Witchcraft

Deciding to practice witchcraft and magick can be equally daunting and exciting.  Here are some tips about what to do if you are thinking about becoming a witch!

—————————————————————-

First, a few things that you should NOT do:

1.    Do not do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, period.  Trust your intuition, and always stay true to yourself.

2.    Do not do anything that puts you in danger.  This includes casting a spell without protection, or opening yourself to spirits before you know what you are doing.  This also includes running out in the middle of a storm to collect rain water, or agreeing to meet a witch that you met online, alone.  Use common sense in all matters of your craft; your safety and health, both physical and mental, must come first.

3.    Do not do anything that contradicts your own personal, spiritual, moral, ethical, or other beliefs.  Unless you plan on changing what you believe, just don’t do it.  It doesn’t matter if everybody and their familiar is doing something; if it doesn’t agree with you, walk away from it.

4.    Do not start actually practicing anything witchcraft-related until you have researched it.  Do not do a spell until you have a working understanding of magick, as well as all of the ingredients involved in the spell – even ones you intend to substitute (especially the ingredients that you intent to substitute, actually).

5.    Don’t take witchcraft lightly. Your craft doesn’t need to be all serious spells and spiderwebs, but you do need to have a healthy respect for the energies and powers that you will be working with.  You shouldn’t fear them - never work with anything that makes you afraid - but you should respect them.

6.    Don’t take your studies lightly. Put yourself through witch school. Research everything; ask yourself questions and give yourself homework.  Ask others questions and ask them to give you homework!  Be creative in your studies, but still take them seriously.  You don’t have to be hunched over spellbooks all day, but you should make an effort to at least mentally review your existing knowledge, on days that you can’t find the time for more.  

7.    Do not be afraid to ask questions or for help – but do not automatically assume that everybody actually knows the answer.  Most witches around here will do their best to answer your questions, but they’ll also usually straight tell you if they don’t know something themselves; you should respect that, whether or not they point you in the direction of somebody else.  On the other hand, if something sounds wrong, trust yourself and double check.  Get a second opinion, if need be.  

—————————————————————-

Next, a few things that you should know before you enter the world of witchcraft:

1.    Witchcraft is real, and magick is real.  Whether or not you believe in it, it believes in you (as the saying goes).  Approaching magick as if you were cosplaying Harry Potter is an attractive but ultimately unwise idea.  Approaching magick as if you were learning to operate a highly beneficial but potentially dangerous piece of machinery – now, that is a wise idea.

2.    Witchcraft isn’t inherently evil, but neither is it inherently pure good.  Witchcraft is power, plain and simple.  It is what one chooses to do with that power that gives it such meaning, and even then, the concept of good and evil is an ethical and spiritual one, and thereby tends to vary from person to person, and from witch to witch.  You have to use your own morals to guide you.  The only type of magick that should be in your witchcraft is the magick you intentionally choose to put there.  On a related note: I personally don’t agree with classifying magick as ‘black magick’ or ‘white magick’, period – not because magick can’t have precise descriptors, but because there’s no need to use terms that have such negative racial undertones.  Light can be harmful and ‘evil’, while darkness can be protective and ‘good’. Your intentions aren’t “to do dark” or “to do light”, anyway.  Your intentions are “to do harm” or “to do healing”; your intentions are “to take away” or “to give”.

3.    Witchcraft is a personal practice. You do not need to follow any one specific path, spiritual or otherwise, in order to practice witchcraft.  There are many different types of witches, and many different types of magick.  If there is not one specific path that you feel is absolutely perfect for you, don’t choose one that feels ‘close enough’ – walk your own path and mold your witchcraft into something that is uniquely yours.  

4.    Witches worship in varying ways.  Some do not worship at all, and are purely secular witches.  Some are simply spiritual and do not follow one set path. Some are polytheists and worship many gods; some are monotheists and worship one.  Some are atheists and worship none!   Some are Wiccan.  Some are Christian.  Some are Satanists.  Some worship ancestors.  Some worship the stars.  Witchcraft is a personal practice, and should co-exist with all other aspects of your life.

5.    You don’t need a whole lot to get started.  Twigs can be used as wands; rock quartz can be used as a crystal.  Tea mixes contain herbs, and your spice cabinet is basically a magick cabinet.  Most of what is in your house can be used for magick, for that matter.  While it is definitely helpful to have the proper tools and ingredients when performing magick, it is possible to DIY your way through witchcraft until you can afford otherwise.  Also, it is probably smarter to wait a second before you run out and purchase anything, anyway.  As you learn more, you’ll start to see which tools you really need, which ingredients you’ll likely be using the most, which items really call out to you.  If you run out and buy everything that you see right away, you risk wasting money on things that just don’t work for you, or that you don’t even need.

—————————————————————-

Lastly, here are the things that you DO need to do, no matter what:

o    Be true to yourself.  Do not compromise yourself or your beliefs.

o    Be safe.  Don’t do or use anything that you do not have a working knowledge of.

o    Be educated.  Never stop seeking out new knowledge; try to learn something new daily.

o    Use common sense.  Don’t get caught up in things; think before you take action.

o    Trust your intuition and instinct.  We often know more than we consciously realize.

o    Be creative.  Write the spell that you’ve been looking for.  See what is laying around the house that you can use for your witchcraft.  Be inventive!

o    Have patience.  Learning takes time; magick takes time; developing your craft takes time.

That’s it for the moment!  Tune in tomorrow for a post regarding more tips and information on what to do when you do decide to go ahead enter the world of witchcraft ^_^

~Tari

This definitely qualifies as a career highlight for me! The song was composed by Rebecca Sugar, and an initial demo arrangement was made by Jeff Liu, which Estelle sang over. Estelle is one of my favorite modern R&B singers, so this was a daunting and yet enticing proposition to arrange.

Taking Jeff’s arrangement as a guideline, we really wanted to emphasize the euphoria of Garnet being reformed. Rebecca told us to capture the feeling of “there’s no way she could lose”. I also felt that the new Garnet design warranted a new Garnet bass sound (for those of you keeping score: where Pearl is piano, Garnet is represented by synthbass), so this was a great opportunity to showcase it. I also felt like the bridge needed a synth solo, so I went all out on this one!

Aivi did a fantastic job adding to this arrangement by making the string sections magical (especially at the end when the song turns dramatic) which were then beautifully performed by Jeff Ball. Everybody did such a great job with this song, and I’m extremely proud of the final result.

Thank you all for watching the season finale! Tune in tomorrow for Full Disclosure!

Made with SoundCloud
texts from last night! meme

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

[text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

[text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

[text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW

[text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA.

[text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

[text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese

[text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it

[text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?”

[text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

[text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him.

[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

[text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.

[text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.

[text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife.

[text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops.

[text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

[text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.

[text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

[text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling

[text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One.

[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us

[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

[text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”

[text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

[text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

[text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

[text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings.

[text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug”

[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

[text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

[text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

[text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

[text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

[text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

[text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart.

[text] When was the last time you wore pants?

[text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

[text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

[text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time

[text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent

[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

[text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going?

[text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.

[text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition?

[text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.

[text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist?

[text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

[text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

[text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin.

[text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb

[text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

[text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

[text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

[text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

[text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.

[text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on

[text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant

[text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

[text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

[text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

[text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

[text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

[text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

[text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire.

[text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

[text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

[text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

[text] you traded sex for a burrito?

[text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

[text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

[text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.

[text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable.

[text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

[text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box

[text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

[text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.

[text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

[text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

[text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”

[text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

[text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style.

[text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

[text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

[text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

[text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year

[text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

[text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

[text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted

[text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

[text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

[text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

[text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

[text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

[text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

[text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok.

[text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

[text] Because when I say 'You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’

[text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

[text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

[text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

[text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

[text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone

[text] never. drinking. again.

[text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

[text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night

[text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

[text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

[text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.