tuna-helper

Fic Rec Friday  2.16

I am slowly but surely getting through those Big Bangs! Wait, that sounds… um… suggestive…

Have a great weekend, everyone!


Captain America:

young hearts, out our minds by junko  | 2.1K | T | Bucky/Steve

Bucky posts a selfie of the two of them in bed to his instagram.

He hashtags it #goodmorningamerica. Sam Wilson and Pepper Potts retweet it to their twitter accounts.


this american life
by verity  | 2.9K | G | Bucky/Steve

“Aww, I’m touched,” Sam says. “You want insulation from the marriage proposals or the casseroles?”

Steve adjusts the phone where it’s cradled between his shoulder and his ear. These things are so flimsy. “It’s a VFW hall, I don’t think they’re going to be lining up for—”

“See you Saturday, I love Tuna Helper,” Sam says cheerfully and hangs up.


mollitious mores
by Etharei  | 3.4K | E | Bucky/Steve

Pepper obliges with, “This is James, my date for the evening.”

“James Barnes,” says Bucky, holding out the hand that Pepper could have sworn had been full of butterflied shrimp only seconds before. “Pleased to meet you, sir. Ma'am.”


Satellite (I’m Part Of You)
by Brenda  | 4.1K | E | Bucky/Steve

“I’m okay, Steve.” Bucky raised his hand to cup Steve’s jaw, his thumb slowly stroking over stubble.

Steve shuddered once, all over, then brought his own hand up to cover Bucky’s. Felt the calluses and nicks, the steady pulse beating at his wrist. “I thought I was gonna lose you again.”

Bucky gave him a small, fond smile. “I thought I was gonna lose you.”

The Arsonist’s Choir by Brenda  | 11.9K | E | Bucky/Steve

“It’s Bucky,” Steve added, helplessly. The buyer was now sitting at Mikhailov’s table, but the mission seemed unimportant. “He’s been arrested. In Texas. And, uh, apparently, we’re married.”

“Congratulations,” Natasha replied, with a small grin. “Are you registered anywhere?”

- A continuation to “Satellite (I’m Part Of You)”, but can be read as a standalone


On My Radar
by sprinkle_of_cinnamon  | 19.5K | M | Bucky/Steve

The Winter Soldier first noticed it when he was on the helicarrier.

The blonde’s shoulders were broad, incredibly broad.

They stretched the blue uniform in a wide span, drawing down to a narrow waist. It was a distinctly triangular silhouette. It was entirely improbable. And somehow it was strangely familiar.

The Winter Soldier raised his gun and fired. He didn’t have time for distractions, or Steve Rogers’ shoulders.


One Way Or Another
by Chiyume, rogersxbarnesx  | 22.3K | E | Bucky/Steve

When Steve volunteers to help Tony launch Stark Tech’s new Military Prosthetics Project, the last person he expects to see as he walks into the lab is the same guy who had him shoved up against a wall in the back of a club the weekend before.

Back then he had just been Steve Rogers; a civilian looking for a good time just like everyone. Here, he’s Captain America; hero, justice, and patriotism personified. Bucky, however, is still the flirtatious devil he had been back at the club, and he’s obviously not going to let something as trivial as Steve’s occupation get in the way of what he wants.


No Gods, No Masters, Just Me
by OddityBoddity  | 28.2K | E | Bucky/Steve

Bucky Barnes is free. No gods, no masters. It’s going to be a god damned shit show. 


Is It Pretending If I Already Want You?
by OhCaptainMyCaptain  | 85.2K | E | Bucky/Steve

Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they’re never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event"

Basic Steps to Getting Yourself In a Pickle With Both Your Family and The Guy You’ve Secretly Crushed On For Five Years (A Guide):

STEP 1: After being perpetually single and constantly making up excuses to your family, give in and lie about having a boyfriend.
STEP 2: Agree to bring said boyfriend to the family cottage for a week so he can be your date to your parents’ wedding anniversary party.
STEP 3: Panic.
STEP 4: Say ‘yes’ when your best friend and closet crush - who you’re convinced isn’t interested in you that way in the least - offers to be your pretend boyfriend.
STEP 5: Try your best not to fall in love with them during the trip.
STEP 6: Fail miserably.


Teen Wolf:

The Prince and The Sorcerer by Dexterous_Sinistrous  | 4.2K | T | Derek/Stiles

“You said it was important,” Stiles replied.

“It is,” Scott stated. “It’s about Mel …” He frowned. “Well, it’s about Derek.”

Stiles paled some. “Did you hear something?” He took a step closer to Scott. “Is he okay? Where—”

“Stiles,” Derek stated, moving into view as he came to stand by Cora.

Stiles turned to look at Derek. He released a heavy sigh, his breath terrified and quickening. “You’re … alive.”


Where Lightning Strikes
by andavs  | 6.2K | G | Derek/Stiles

Scott finally held out his phone, showing whichever picture he decided was the best. Stiles squint-glared at that and waited for his foggy brain to catch up. When it did, his heart skipped a beat.

Burned into the wheat field, in a way Stiles was pretty sure was not normal for crop circles, were two concentric circles.

McCall Pack.

“I think it’s Kira,” Scott said, clear and concise. “I think she needs help.“

*

Scott and Stiles head back down to Mexico to find Kira and end up finding a little more.


Smoke is Just the Air Remembering Fire
by alisvolatpropiis  | 8.4K | E | Derek/Stiles

Derek has cried three times in his adult life: when his sister died, when the alpha pack used him to kill Boyd, and when Stiles Stilinski broke his heart. 


Mates and Mushrooms
by mikkimouse  | 11.5K | E | Derek/Stiles

Derek’s not that excited about spending three days at a conference getting propositioned by every Alpha with a single pack member. Stiles has a plan to make it stop.

It might be a great plan…if only Derek weren’t head over heels in love with him.

It might be an even better plan if someone at the conference didn’t have a vested interest in Derek staying single.


A Crooked Way to Fly
by andavs  | 15K | G | Derek/Stiles

“We can’t just leave him here to die.”

“He’s an emissary, Scott.” Derek tried to make his tone empathetic, but Scott’s tendency to fight back on everything always grated on his nerves. “His pack is gone, he won’t survive more than a day or two either way.”

“Then we should stay with him.”

Derek sighed as he studied the man for a moment; he was too pale against the fur rim of his hood, almost grey from lying out in the snow, and his cloak was stained with dark dried blood around a protruding arrow shaft. It was unlikely he would even last the night. They would probably be able to carry on in the morning with little time lost, if any.

It wasn’t a horrible idea, Derek decided reluctantly. They hadn’t been able to set up a real camp for a few weeks in the open foothills, and they were all on edge from sleeping in exposed areas. A defensible place to sleep would be good for them, even if they were surrounded by death. They would be able to give the pack proper burials, at the very least.

“Fine. One night,” Derek relented, already moving away to check on Isaac. “He’s your responsibility.”


Through Veiled Eyes
by Dexterous_Sinistrous  | 25.7K | E | Derek/Stiles

“Lay with me,” Stiles plainly stated, as if he asked a menial thing of him.

Derek narrowed his eyes at Stiles, observing him carefully as he kept his features stoically guarded. “To touch you is sacrilege,” he finally uttered, unable to completely deny his desire to discover what touching Stiles would be like.

“What they force me to do is sacrilege,” Stiles countered, carefully observing Derek. “What you would do would be divine. You would keep me from being their plaything—taking a key player off the board in their pursuit of corruption. What I’ve asked of you … I’ve already seen it—the phantom touch of it lingering on me afterwards.”

This picture has been going around a lot lately, and I would like to respond to it.  The entire spirituality surrounding “No meat on Fridays in Lent” is to better conform ourselves to the poor.

Think about it.  In older times, livestock required a great deal of land and labor to produce.  The poor obviously didn’t own land in old times.  As such, meat was a luxury and delicacy, especially to the poor.  Fish on the other hand were considered a poor mans food.  Anyone can go to a river, lake, or ocean, throw out a line, and catch a fish.  Fish don’t need the land and labor costs the livestock requires.

Now this is tricky to us because at the moment in the US, meat is generally cheaper than fish.  In older times though, the Church banning meat on certain days was directed at the rich in order to remind them of the poor.  In other words, “You shall eat like the poor eat.

Now on to the beaver.  The beaver and the capybara are traditionally eaten by the poor.  The Church allowed them to be eaten on days when meat was restricted because to not do so would harm the poor.  Remember the spirituality of the practice is to conform the rich to the poor, not to punish the poor.  The Church doesn’t subscribe to ignorant zoology.  Just that for the purposes of penitential disciplines, those animals could be eaten without breaking the fast.

Where does this leave us today?  Because meat is often cheaper in the US than fish, we have to keep the spirituality in mind on Lenten Fridays.  This means that giving up a burger to go eat at a fancy lobster restaurant shouldn’t fly with you.  The poor aren’t eating at fancy lobster restaurants, and neither should you.  Eat something simple.  Eat tuna sandwiches, make a tuna helper, go to your parish fish fry.  The point of the day is to conform ourselves to the poor.

I hope this is found helpful as Lent approaches.

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start . . .

When I first started my weight loss journey, I had no idea how to cook. I knew how to royally mess up recipes, how to make messes in the kitchen, and how to boil my mom’s blood every time I left something out on the counter. I grew up making things out of the box. I ate foods like boxed macaroni, boxed potatoes, boxed waffles, boxed donuts, boxed tuna helper, boxed rice, and boxed pizza. And when there was nothing boxed in the house to make, I ate things out of the bag like potato chips, fast food, cookies, cheese, candy, French fries, pizza rolls, and do I even need to continue? You get it the point. Super healthy stuff! Now, I don’t eat those too often. Maybe a couple times a month; it’s hard to say no to a pizza roll dangling in your face. I like to eat the center first, just like an Oreo. Anyways…back to the point of this post. 

In order to lose the weight, I needed to learn how to cook real food. I didn’t start cooking difficult recipes at first. I started making little things like turkey wraps, omelets, and baked chicken. I burnt tons of eggs, dried out chicken breast after chicken breast, and steamed my vegetables until they looked like soggy noodles. Overtime, I got the hang of it. It’s important not to give up.

One of the first meals I ever learned to cook was baked chicken and roasted vegetables. It’s extremely hard to mess up, and you don’t need many ingredients. If you are knew to cooking, I’d recommend starting here. 

All you need is skinless, boneless chicken breast, bell pepper, squash, and sweet potatoes. You can use any vegetables in this; however, I don’t recommend using cucumbers. You will also need two tbsp of olive oil and garlic and herb seasoning.

Toss the vegetables in the olive oil and sprinkle seasoning on top. Do the same to the chicken. Lay the chicken and vegetables on a greased baking sheet. Bake for 15-20 minutes in the oven at 350 degrees. Check the chicken’s center at 15 minutes. If it’s done, take it out and continue to cook the vegetables. Overcooked chicken is dry and gross. I’ve eaten my fair share of it! 

Baked chicken and baked salmon are my favorite proteins. You can dress them up the same way before baking. Some of my favorite ways to flavor the two are:

-Low sodium Teriyaki sauce, garlic & herb, and black pepper.
-Fresh squeezed lime juice, low sodium soy sauce, brown sugar & sesame seeds
-Fresh squeezed lemon juice, lemon pepper seasoning, and olive oil. 
-Fresh squeezed orange juice, grated ginger, and low sodium soy sauce.
-Olive oil, garlic & herb seasoning, and black pepper.
-Brown sugar, Pineapple slices & juice, and low sodium soy sauce. 
-Organic honey, garlic & herb seasoning, and black pepper. 
-Low sodium taco seasoning, black beans, and olive oil. 
-Honey Dijon mustard, olive oil, and garlic & herb seasoning. 
-Low sodium buffalo sauce, blue cheese, and black pepper. 
-And my favorite….Barbecue sauce! 

You can find more of my recipes for chicken or salmon here! 

What was the first meal you learned how to make? Or the very first meal you royally destroyed? 

Me singing about Tuna Helper
  • Me: If I had to live without you,
  • What kind of life would that be?
  • Oh, I...
  • I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
  • You're my world, my heart, my soul,
  • If you ever leave,
  • Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
  • And tell me now
  • How do I live without you?
  • I want to know,
  • How do I breathe without you?
  • If you ever go,
  • How do I ever, ever survive?
  • How do I
  • How do I
  • Oh how do I live?

I pretty much just made tuna helper or something.

1 can clam chowder
1 can kippered herring
4 or 5 cloves garlic 
some random bit of leek from the fridge
a little bit o water
almost all the egg noodles
pepper
fish sauce cuz I hate salt but love salty things
fake ass parmesan cheese

put into a fucking pot on med heat. stir whenever. don’t burn yer tongue like I did and let that shit cool.

viola! you dirtied one pot and didn’t have to think really hard about food!
congratulations you.