tuna-fishing

Keto Food List

Breakfast foods:

  • Bacon
  • Eggs
    • Over easy, scrambled, hard boiled, devilled
  • Sausage
  • Omelettes
    • Can have small amounts of onions, green peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, and whatever meat you like
  • Coffee
    •  Add: Splenda/sweetener of choice, unsweetened cocoa powder, unsweetened almond milk/heavy cream/half and half
  • Tea (unsweetened)
  • Bullet Proof Coffee (but I don’t like this)

Lunch/Dinner Foods:

  •    Meat (Pretty much any as long as they are not coated in anything)
  •    Chicken (not breaded)
  •    Bunless burgers
  •    Steak
  •    Pork Chops
  •    Meatloaf (must be made special)
  •    Fish (not breaded)
  •    Tilapia, salmon, cod, tuna, etc. literally any fish
  •    Ham
  •    Turkey
  •    Salami
  •    Ring bologna
  •    Hot dogs/Brats
  •    Summer Sausage
  •    Veggies
  •    Broccoli
  •    Cauliflower
  •    Green beans
  •    Peppers (small amounts)
  •    Onions (small amounts)
  •    Tomatoes (small amounts)
  •    Zucchini
  •    Cucumbers
  •    Lettuce
  •    Mushrooms
  •    Eggplant
  •    Avocado

 Snacks/Treats/Desserts/Condiments

  • Pepperoni Slices
  • Almonds
  • Dark chocolate (72%+ is best)
  • Sugar-free Jell-o
  • Carbsmart Ice Cream
  • Quest Bars
  • Low-sugar ketchup
  • Mayo
  • Some mustards
  • Ranch
  • Sugar-free candies
  • Flax seed crackers
  • Salsa (small quantities – depends on the brand)
  • Smoothies
    • Make with 1 cup unsweetened Coconut milk, ¼ cup Raspberries, sweetener of choice, vanilla extract and ice
  • Soy sauce
  • Sunflower seeds
  • Beef jerky
  • Slim jims
  • Unflavored liquors: Rum/Vodka/Tequila/etc. As long as it’s not sweet flavored or fruity flavored in some way it is safe.
  • Diet soda
  •  Atkins anything (my favorite is granola bars)

Dairy

  •          Cheese (mostly hard cheeses)
  •          Cottage cheese
  •          Sour Cream
  •          Heavy cream
  •          Whipped cream

 

When in doubt, read the label.

anonymous asked:

Elsewhere University: changelings? Like, fairies who get swapped for humans? Just wondering if there might be anything on that?

OK LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CHANGELINGS

I’ve been thinking about this all day actually, your timing is A+

A changeling, although you know they’re fake and they know they’re fake and all your classmates know they’re fake, will keep on living in your dorm until you directly call them out on it. If you’re polite about it they’ll leave; usually they drift around campus for a while, attending classes at random and sleeping in the gardens. There’s a whole meal plan set up for them, which the Courts pay for yearly in…things. Odds and ends. Trinkets. On the whole best not to ask. What it comes down to is that any changeling lacking a dining hall card can pick one up on the third floor of the Languages building, and your dining halls have more fresh produce than anyone others that you know of.

And sure, sometimes there’s times where your roommate and best friend is gone and in their place is this monster-thing that looks just like them but isn’t, and you’re angry and scared and you just want them out of there and maybe could they give you a tip on who to talk to to get Serafina back?

But there’s got to be others (especially for freshmen) where your roommate was that guy who left half eaten tins of tuna fish all over the place and vapes incessantly and you had ants by October and he won’t stop making off-color jokes to any girls you bring over - and then suddenly he’s replaced by this thing that, ok, sometimes puts thumbtacks in your bed and laughs about it, and eats literal sticks of butter as snacks, but also is very quiet and fastidiously clean. They jam the fuck out to all your music and they’re a riot at parties and they’re teaching you how to climb trees better and they always repay favors - if you clean the shared bathroom they’ll bring you a very fancy coffee the next morning in a flavor you’re pretty sure the school cafeteria doesn’t have. Or you buy them a bottle of sweet wine while you’re at the store and the next week they help with your essay about 12th century poetry. You’re buddies. You’re teaching them a secret handshake. Maybe you can hold off on reporting your official roommate’s disappearance for another week or so. And this goes on until school gets out and the RAs have to do the yearly troll the the Elsewhere for anyone who hasn’t come home yet.

And on the flip side of the coin: RAs. RAs and changelings are in some ways each others mirrors. They’re both in-between things - student/authority, human/fae, etc. - and in-between things, things that are in balance, merit some respect. A pact was made several decades ago that allows each safe passage up to a point in the others’ world, as ambassadors of a sort. Accidents can happen - you can still be careless, still be rude, still make enemies. But unprovoked violence towards either is very strictly prohibited by both sides. So changelings  can replace students with relative safety and in turn RAs can, at the end of the year, go hunt down any students from their floor that still haven’t come back one way or another and either do their best to ransom them or at least get the necessary forms signed.

On the note of RAs - Elsewhere U has a special fund for end-of-year bargains. This has been used, in past years, to purchase a deck of illustrated tarot cards and a book of 1001 Card Games To Play Alone, sixteen pounds of durian fruit, a very soft fleece blanket, a lot of movie posters with Harrison Ford on them, bodice rippers involving dinosaurs, and $800 of random shit from the dollar store.

The RAs, once they’ve found the students, will try to buy them back if they can (the success rate is not 100%). But once in a while students refuse to come back - they’re in love with a person or in love with the whole world; they’ve found a purpose here or they refuse to return for other, darker reasons. At this point the RA will do what they can to ensure they’re staying of their own free will. If this in in fact the case they get signatures on the form and leave empty handed.

A Date With Markiplier Breakdown

So I figured out what the ‘1 of 25’ thing meant.
There are 25 different options that come up on the screen that you can select. These are:

1. Pay
2. Don’t Pay
3. Attack
4. Don’t Attack
5. Romance
6. Horror
7. Leave
8. Yes
9. No
10. Relax
11. Don’t Blink
12. Don’t Move
13. Freedom
14. Right
15. Left
16. Shiney
17. Road
18. Peanut Butter
19. Tuna Fish
20. Dig
21. Pick Lock
22. Split Up
23. Stay Together
24. Exit
25. More?

The words ‘1 of 25’ may mean that only 1 of these 25 options will reveal the True End (which is ending 10, below). This option is ‘More?’ And this brings us to the next subject. 'This is the end’ most likely had something to do with that True Ending, or at least one of these 10 endings:

Ending 1: Meta Ending.
Pay > Romance > Leave > Yes

Ending 2: I Planned So Much.
Pay > Romance > Leave > No

Ending 3: Vanilla.
Pay > Horror (Or Romance > Horror) > Freedom > Right

Ending 4: Chocolate.
Pay > Horror (Or Romance > Horror) > Freedom > Left

Ending 5: Peanut Butter Blues.
Don’t Pay > Attack > Road > Peanut Butter

Ending 6: Tuna Triumph.
Don’t Pay > Attack > Road > Tuna Fish

Ending 7: Alien Abduction.
Don’t Pay > Attack > Shiney

Ending 8: The Bid Dig.
Don’t Pay > Don’t Attack > Dig

Ending 9: Mark Ded Af.
Don’t Pay > Don’t Attack > Pick Lock > Split Up
OR
Don’t Pay > Don’t Attack > Pick Lock > Stay Together > Exit > Pick Lock > Split Up

Ending 10: True End.
Don’t Pay > Don’t Attack > Pick Lock > Stay Together > More?


So, it all makes sense now…

@markiplier

the signs as rupaul’s drag race quotes

Aries: These LEGS are everything!!!!!
Taurus: wake UP pearl
Gemini: C’mon natch!
Cancer: servin up fish, tuna on a platter
Leo: no T, no shade
Virgo: fresh off the boat, u know, lil trip from Asia, just landed like fresh tilapia
Libra: absolutely!
Scorpio: Cmon season 6, let’s get SICKENINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Sagittarius: I’m feeling my oats, let me feel my oaaaats
Capricorn: Back rolls?
Aquarius: Okcurrrr
Pisces: how is She tho

Naruto Fanfics!!

***Time Travel***

backslide by blackkat COMPLETE

This was one of my first time travel fanfics… and my first slash fanfic as well.  But blackkat is incredibly talented with her writing, and I find myself unable to find a flaw in any of her fics!  She has great skill in characterization and fluff, as well as plot.  I also recommend Stormborn, reverse, Snake in the Grass, Wolf at the Door, and, really, all her fics.  But those are my favorites!

A Wrinkle in Time by rightforlife ABANDONED

Just an epic fic.  Naruto, Shikamaru, and Lee go back in time and they are epic.  I love their relationship in here! I guess you could consider them all OP, but I found it fun that way… The fic is abandoned though, sadly.

It’s For a Good Cause, I Swear! By Sarah1281 COMPLETE

A hilarious fanfic, where Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura go back in time and fixes a lot of things in a hilarious way. I really love how they deal with Orochimaru lol

Team Tensai and Mangekyo Sharingan by Wingwyrm COMPLETE

Team 7 goes back in time and find themselves to be kids!  They’re both awesome, though Mangekyo Sharingan is a little darker than Team Tensai, due to talks of child rape.  

Thicker Than Blood by EmptySurface ABANDONED

Sasuke and Naruto go back in time, though they come back as kids.  Their relationship in here is really sweet and I really wish the story would be continued…

Time and Again by KyLewin COMPLETE (with a sequel)

A really good fanfic.  Naruto at first thinks he’s in a genjutsu, which is a little unique. It was very well written.

The Lives Worth Saving by cyywsaphyre ABANDONED

Awesome fic! And unique in that Naruto goes back in his physical body and the way he deals with Hizashi is really awesome.

Begging for Forgiveness by Freezing Rain WIP?

This is Kakashi-centric and incredibly hard on the heart because KAKASHI and he is just so messed up.  I love his relationship with his ninken in here though.

Just the Usual Habits by mapplepie ONE-SHOT

Kakashi-centric and incredibly heart-wrenching.  But really well written.

Unwanted Trip by Solara Myles ONGOING

One of my absolute favorites!  Team 7 is sent back in time and they’re, obviously, kick ass. They’re relationship with Kakashi is amazing in here.  Also, the author’s plot is very unique compared to other time travels, imo, and it’s just well done.  

Parallels by QuestofDreams COMPLETE

This is more of a dimensional-travel thing, also SNS. It’s pretty good though!  The Yondaime is in here, though I think this was written before it was revealed that the Yondaime was Minato.  

Silent Guardians by FallenQueen2 COMPLETE

Naruto and Shikamaru go back in time to fix stuff. They fix stuff epically, of course.

Steal My Thunder God by Nauro

Naruto experiments with the Hiraishin and finds himself on the night of his birth… and mistaken for Minato.  It’s a pretty unique idea, though I think the fic is abandoned.

Into the Future by ichilover3

SNS fanfic!  Sasuke and Naruto go into the future and find their future selves in a relationship.  It’s a lot of smut/fluff, but it’s cute and funny.  Not much for plot though, since the focus is on the pairing.

Yet, mad I am not by Erisah Mae ONGOING

Itachi-centric.  He dies and finds himself in the past of another dimension.  It’s a pretty awesome fanfic, and I really like Itachi in here!

Escape Artist by Fiorea POSSIBLY ABANDONED?

MinaNaru.  It’s a really good fanfic, and it made me like the pairing cause of the way it’s done. Naruto has a lot of issues he has to go through in here, and Minato helps him.  They have a very cute relationship, which starts off as friends with Minato hinting interest and Naruto being his lovely oblivious self. But it’s super cute and very well done. Really hope it’s not abandoned.

History has its eyes on you by tasalmalin COMPLETE

Kakashi-centric! It’s a five-part series, and it really explores Kakashi’s mental state very well.  The whole series is well done and does justice to Kakashi’s character.

A snake among the leaves by blackkat COMPLETE

Orochimaru goes back in time and he brilliantly fixes stuff, much to the suspicion of everyone haha.

Hush by Xov ABANDONED

ItaNaru.  Naruto goes back in time, but it seems to be another dimension.  Naruto tries to fix stuff, but he realizes he really can’t because of it being a whole other dimension and all. Minato is alive in here and Naruto has PTSD.

Tampering with Time by Palaserece ONGOING

REALLY good and one of my absolute favorites! Minato goes back in time, but as a sort of reincarnation.  The fic is well-written, really long and still updating, and it’s really awesome because of the characterizations!

Stumble by writer168 ONGOING (nearly complete)

Sakura and Sasori go back in time!  Sakura is epic in here and Sasori is hilarious. There are also other characters go back in time but I won’t spoil it!  Sakura has serious trauma in here.  The characters are all well done and I love her frienship with Kakashi!  (I’m a total Kakashi fan… if it isn’t obvious by now…)

Blind Stars of Fortune by 100demons ONGOING

Kakashi goes back in time and into his 20 year old self!  Well-written and awesome plot!  I just love Kakashi.  

Walking Backwards on a Tightrope by Lithos Maitreya

Really good fic!  A lot of people go back in time, including Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Shino.  It’s well-written and interesting in its twists.

Shinobi Rules by Squishfie

One of the few fem!Naruto fics I enjoyed… mostly cause it’s KakaNaru lol.  But Naruto goes back in time and becomes a student under Minato.  It’s a cute story, imo.

***Gen Fics and Self-Inserts***

Naruto Hatake by Agent-G COMPLETE

I really like the idea of Kakashi adopting Naruto and kind of wish he had, even though I understand he couldn’t (mentally).  Just a really cute fic with a good plot.

Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen ONGOING

One of my first self-insert fanfics and one of the best. It made me fall in love with the Nara Clan.  Just INCREDIBLY well-written with amazing plot lines.

Sakura by Darkpetal16 COMPLETE

A SI where the person finds herself in Sakura. Hilarious and the character’s pretty awesome.  Good plot too.

Déjà vu no Jutsu by Vixen Tail COMPLETE

Really well-written SI, set before/during Third Shinobi war.  I like Minato in here :) Really, all the characters in here.  Also chibi!Kakashi is adorable.  

Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin by May Wren ABANDONED

A what-if fic.  What if Naruto was a seal master at a young age?  Really well written and pretty awesome! :D

The Prodigy Namikaze by SoulReaperCrewe

Features Kushina and Minato alive.  Does have Naruto neglected at a young age by them though… But, otherwise, a really great fic. I think Naruto is a little OP in here, and slightly OOC sometimes, but I still enjoyed the fic and it has an interesting pairing.  

Unplanned Paternity by TwinTrouble ABANDONED…?

Another fic where Kakashi takes care of chibi!Naruto! It’s one of my favorites and just really well-written and pretty long too.  

Broken by azfaerydust COMPLETE with a sequel!

An angsty and fluffly Kakashi adopts Naruto fic. The author characterizes Naruto and Kakshi well, since they both are very traumatized in this fic.  It’s just adorable because Kakashi is overprotective and ahh! One of my favorites and I’ve reread it way too many times!

Of Harrowed Hearts by Sable_Scribe ONGOING

REALLY amazing and one of my favorites!  Naruto and Team 7 is awesome in here, and Kurama is also amazing. The story updates weekly (as of now) and it’s super satisfying and I love the plot.  

Tuna Fish and Red-Splattered Pages by Pitch Black Magpie ONGOING

I really love Team 7 in here.  Naruto and Sasuke’s frienship is pretty awesome as well. Naruto’s character is very… unique too. I like the supernatural side of the story too, though I guess it seems slightly crack-y.  I like the view Naruto has of the Uchiha as well.

A Political Perspective by VJ Riddle

Kakashi creates an epic Team 7.  Really wish this had happened in canon tbh.  

The Somewhat Cracked mind of Uchiha Itachi by Kereea

Hilarious!  I really love Itachi in here and, really, everyone.

Blood Sings by Fireun Feather ONGOING

Naruto is a half-demon in here. I like Minato and Naruto in here and their father-son relationship.  

Chiaroscuro by boomvroomshroom

Shikamaru-centric!  I really enjoy the plot.  

***Pairing fics***

(mostly slash fanfics… you have been warned)

~SNS

(A lot of these fics are dark with fluff mixed in… because I can’t see SNS being totally fluffy.  It doesn’t really fit in with how I see them.  They’re both messed up people, Sasuke more evidently.)

Sound of Dreams by zrina COMPLETE

Really, really love this one because it features an amazing plot, is super long, and I love the characterizations of Naruto and Sasuke.  This is a NaruSasu fic and really well-written.

A World of Truth by luchia COMPLETE

Enjoyed this one because it’s in Sasuke’s POV and I liked how his character was done in here. It shows he’s very human, but not irredeemable.

Hopeless Wanderer by dawnstruck (series)

Super dark but really delicious.  Sasuke takes Naruto with him when he defects and wow… it’s really good!  Their relationship is very codependent, which, in reality, they are based on canon imo. I like the idea of Naruto and Sasuke leaving Konoha together tbh.

Post-Traumatic by IsolaVirtuosa COMPLETE

Really long and incredibly dark at times. Sasuke is really messed up in here and Naruto isn’t altogether sane himself.  Their relationship is very messed-up, but the ending is satisfying after that roller-coaster of a journey.

All In by Narutos Mother (momhuey) COMPLETE

The second half of the story is VERY dark, but Sasuke is super sweet in here. Slight Sakura-bashing?  She’s the villain of the story in here.

Lost on the Road of Life by shherie (series)

Cute story (it’s the first in a very cute series anyways), but Sasuke and Naruto do have issues getting into a relationship. Naruto is determined in here though and Sasuke is his bastard self in the first story, though absolutely adorable in the rest of the series.  Hachi, the sequel after a series of one-shots, is really good too!

Titanic by meowstelle ONE-SHOT

In Itachi’s POV and an AU.  But I found it really hilarious.

Breaking him down by IvvyMoon COMPLETE

Another dark fic, because Sasuke is an utter bastard at the beginning, though he redeems himself.  

Healing the Broken by KizuKatana COMPLETE

Dark and angsty, but their characters are done well. Great ending and plot.

An Invincible Summer by ShanaStoryteller COMPLETE

Naruto is gender-fluid in here, but WOW is it done well! The whole story is absolutely amazing and I didn’t want it to end!

Phoenix Rising by Kai_Maciel

This isn’t really SNS, because Naruto ends up raising Sasuke (you have to read it to find out why), but I really like the relationship because chibi!Sasuke is adorable and Naruto as a father should be this way, not the way he is to Boruto.  

For Brothers Share This Bond by bluedemon92 COMPLETE

Okay, this is the definition of dark and angsty. It’s really hard to read sometimes because of the issues… but it’s more Itachi-centric, with SNS.  But it has a unique plot and is well-written. Also KakaIta and KisaIta.

The sun within me by fangirlandiknowit ONGOING

Sasuke and Naruto find themselves in another dimension (from the movie Road to Ninja) and the plot is interesting.

~KakaNaru

(One of my OTPs, nbd)

A ninja must see underneath the underneath by Blooregard89 COMPLETE

KakaNaru and their frienship-to-romance is cute.  

Things Just Ain’t the Same Any Time the Hunter Gets Captured by the Game by barspoon COMPLETE

ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  She does the relationship REALLY well and it’s just amazing.  

Konoha’s Orange by purplefox COMPLETE

Good plot and it’s interesting, that’s for sure.  I like that there’s a bit of dimension travel in here and I like the relationship.  Kakashi is the one who’s oblivious in here, which is pretty funny.

A Safe Haven by Red_Hot_Holly_Berries ONGOING

I like the plot in here and I really look forward to the rest!

When You Look Me in The Eyes by blueicequeen ONE-SHOT

REALLY like this one!  A long one-shot and their relationship is super well done. Especially since it’s just a one-shot!

Fifteen Million Ryo by Riya3 COMPLETE

An interesting plot idea and I like how the relationship comes about.  It’s also funny and the side story with Sakura and Sai is done well.

(If you have other KakaNaru fics, I’d really, really love you if you’d let me know. There aren’t enough in the world…)

~Other Pairings

Break to Breathe by Okami Rayne COMPLETE (series)

ShikaNeji!  Interesting plot and the characterization is well done, to say the least.

Hyakumensou by Agni ABANDONED?

ItaNaru!  I like the idea of an arranged marriage and I like how the relationship progresses. Though Itachi could be considered slightly OOC, but I still enjoyed it.

Dimension by YukiwaFuru ABANDONED…

NaruMina… short, but I really enjoyed Naruto in here. The relationship was only a friendship, from what is written.

Walk the road of life by LasySwitch COMPLETE

KakaObi.  A soulmate AU and it’s cute.

Stalker by SweetDreamsAreMadeOfNaruto ONESHOT

A dark ObiKaka.  

Kiss and Run by SweetDreamsAreMadeOfNaruto ONESHOT

Cute KakaObi!  

It’s Just That Any One of Us is Half Without Another One is You by Branch COMPLETE

This is largely Gen and takes the original Naruto plot and fleshes it out and gives a lot more justice to the plot.  It ends up being SakuSasuNaru.

In Bond and Blood by thehoyden ONESHOT

KakaIru.  One of the few KakaIru’s I enjoyed!  

A Set-up For A Romantic Comedy by sleepyjeesh COMPLETE

KakaObi!  Super cute and I like Obito in here!

Surrender by triste ONESHOT

Dark ItaNaru!  Interesting idea though.

Your heart is a weapeon the size of your first by blackkat

ZabuNaru (rare pairing).  It’s well done because blackkat somehow makes any pairing work!

Another reincarnation story by HeavenOnFire COMPLETE

KisaIta.  Itachi is reincarnated, as well as Kisame. It’s a nice story with a good plot.  

The Grey Crayon by checkerbloom COMPLETE

MinaKaka.  Chibi!Naruto is super adorable!  The whole story is cute.  

The Way Things Are by Aini COMPLETE

ShikaNeji.  It’s a cute story and I like the pairing :)