tumblr-man

tumblr staff 1: man these kids sure are getting angry that we dont delete nazis

tumblr staff 2: yeah but here i have an idea

tumblr staff 1: yeah?

tumblr staff 2: lets get rid of the notes on like, every other post.

tumblr staff 1: oh awesome i hate notes

healing old wounds

anonymous asked:

I can't stand vegans who think animals are more important than humans. Stop celebrating Thanksgiving. It's racist.

I’m just here to eat man. Also you’re on anon so you must not care too much about the issue, if you’re hiding? Thanksgivings a bullshit “holiday” but still watch me eat gross amounts of food then pass out for two hours. The “thanksgiving spirit” been lost long ago. Like, we all know, anon. It’s an excuse to put yourself into a food induced coma. Relax. Did you eat enough? I got plenty over here if not. 

It’s 1am and I don’t know why I did this

As a person I understand the appeal of drinking out of a whole skull but as an archaeologist I don’t approve of the way people think it’s done (when it’s actually done)

Also. When you put a skull on a shelf. That jaw. It’s gon fall. You better take it off or glue it or smth bc it’s going to fall

Historically speaking, when we find trophy skulls, the jaw is usually missing, or it has been especially taken care of to help it stay in place. When it’s missing, sometimes it’s been snatched off the head while the skin and meat was still there, sometimes it’s because it fell after the skin decomposed

Either way my friends told me to stop telling stories like that at parties

Tumblr Man
Waiting4Codot

TUMBLR MAN
A Parody of “Piano Man” by Billy Joel
Written and Performed by Codot

It’s 3am on a Saturday,
Usual crowd’s logging on,
There’s a young man on my follow list,
Slamming a hateful Anon.

He said “Dude have you heard of lobotomies?
You might want to give one a try.

And if you don’t think that it’s right for you,
You could always fuck off and die.”

Ohh Blah-de-blah, biddy blah.
Blah blah, biddy blah blah.

Publish a post you’re the Tumblr Man,
Publish a post tonight,

‘Cause we’re not in the mood for reality,
It’s boring, withdrawn and uptight.

Well Sarah’s a Superwholockian,
With a penchant for starting a feud,

While most fans are a pleasure, her petulant measure,
Augments her severe attitude.

She says, “Codot I think you’re an idiot,
If you can’t see that their love is real.

So I’ll write to their wives, tell them run for their lives,
Because they interfere with my feels.

Ohh blah-de-blah, biddy blah.
Blah blah, biddy blah de blah.

Now Tina’s a Fanfiction Novelist,
who never had time for a life,

and she’s talking to Tony, who’s clearly a Brony,
and claims Twilight Sparkle’s his wife.

Social Justice has gained mob mentality,
Pointing fingers while passing the buck,

and there’s two people tiffing o’er ‘Gif’fing or ‘Jif’fing,
when really man, who gives a fuck?

Publish a post you’re the Tumblr Man,
Publish a post tonight,

‘Cause we’re not in the mood for reality,
It’s boring, withdrawn and uptight.

Now I know that I’m being a little harsh,
t’ward the site that I used to adore,

but I can’t operate whilst I'm mired in the hate,
that is lurking behind every door.

And I’m sure that I’ll be catching hell for this,
Through the morning, the day, and the night,

But if you abuse me for my point of view, see,
All you've done is proven me right.

Ohh Blah-de-blah, biddy blah.
Blah blah, biddy blah de blah.

Publish a post you’re the Tumblr Man,
Publish a post tonight,

‘Cause we’re not in the mood for reality,
It’s boring, withdrawn and uptight.

(Note: All names mentioned in this song are completely random. This song is not targeting anyone specifically.)