anonymous asked:

I was wondering if I could get some advice? One of my friends has a crush on me and we've talked about it to an extent (not much bc they were really uncomfortable but enough for them to know that nothing's changed) and I've been treating them the same as I usually do. The potential problem is that I'm very affectionate- I send friends compliments and tell them that I love them and hug them and cuddle them. I don't want to accidentally lead them on, but also don't want to treat them (1/2)

differently. I respect and love them a lot platonically, but at the same time I want to avoid hurting their feelings whether it be through making them think that they have a chance or through becoming more distant. They get really panicky over people leaving them, to the point of having a panic attack when I accidentally didn’t reply to a text for a day (and that’s happened with many other friends too). I wanted to know if you think that I’m leading them on, and what you think I should do? (2/2)

When it comes to leading people on, I believe it has 100% to do with intent.

Someone could feel another person is leading them on. They feel like the person owes them some reward for their actions. Most people classify this as “the friendzone” and blame the person for making them feel like there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. However, this is in no way your fault.

Now, if you were manipulating your friends feelings because you didn’t want them to leave you, I’d say stop. But from what I can read, you care deeply about your friend’s health, which makes me believe you are the protagonist to this story. 

If you force yourself to behave a certain way around someone, you’re going to end up in a hellish place. Take it from someone with social anxiety. I’m always afraid I’m going to offend someone, to the point where I’m afraid to sneeze because the world will think I’m disgusting and avoid me. Don’t do that to yourself.

Plus, it might make your friend feel as if they did something wrong. If they are as touchy with relationships as this ask makes me believe, it wouldn’t do them any favors to stop acting the way you do. It’s hard enough to admit your feelings. It’s harder when the bond you share drifts apart because of those feelings. 

So I wouldn’t worry much about changing yourself for your friend. Your friend is your friend because they like your you-ness. :)

Why Sangwoo Became Affectionate

As my best friend @officialperidork said, chapter 6 is basically an ecchi. We are presented with a soft, sensual, and sexually charged tone which is a dramatic shift from what the readers now understand to be the norm. But we don’t really get an explanation and I doubt a handjob would turn Sangwoo from knife-happy to cuddly.

After reading @killingandstalking ‘s theory that Sangwoo’s mother may have sexually abused him, everything becomes clear.

Recapping the interactions in chapter 5, we see that Sangwoo was initially carrying unconscious Yoonbum to the basement but stopped midway and instead brought him to his room. We are not given a motive for this. I doubt it was a sudden change of heart or pity. I think Sangwoo recalled an event from his past where he was sick as a child.

Sangwoo places Yoonbum on his bed, helps him drink down the salt water, and tells him to rest. Later he comes back to the room and asks if Yoonbum is okay, and here is when Yoonbum shares how he wants to eat at the same table as Sangwoo from now on.

This is a key shift in the roles of the characters. Sangwoo has not shared the big table with anyone else to our knowledge and made Yoonbum sit on the small table like he did as a child. Now child Sangwoo shared the small table with his mother and must have questioned why he and his mother couldn’t eat at the big table too. By expressing how he wants to eat at the big table, Yoonbum makes a connection to child Sangwoo. Child Sangwoo only ate with his mother.

If they both eat at the big table now. Sangwoo may be able to “change” his past.

His Father doesn’t exist.

Yoonbum now has the role of child Sangwoo.

Sangwoo now views Yoonbum the way his mother viewed him and so he begins to comfort him the same way. He introduces to Yoonbum to intimacy in the same room he was as a child, and thus the fear of his mother has passed and he is now in control of how the “child” is handled.

In chapter six, we see Yoonbum explaining how since that incident, Sangwoo hasn’t hurt him, ordered him around, or made him do chores. Yoonbum is no longer the housewife. Sangwoo has taken on the role that his mother had and takes care of the abused “child”.

Dealing with the aftermath when “father” is gone

normally Yoonbum would be sprawled on the floor getting beat by now because of “father”

Showing empathetic concern

definitely not something “father” would do to “mother”

Changing the subject/showing affection

Yoonbum is even drawn like a child getting his cheeks pinched

Overall gentleness in caretaker behavior

Yoonbum explains that it feels like he’s living with twins that have a completely different personality from one another and it took time for him to get used to this. He goes on to say Sangwoo bathes and dresses him daily, which is really not like him. He normally would not give a damn if Yoonbum was hungry, dirty, or hurt. 

We do not know how long this behavior continues. We later see them sleeping in Sangwoo’s room, under the same covers. I think we can assume with the abusive dad, Sangwoo’s mom often slept in Sangwoo’s rooom instead…and that’s when things get really fucked up. 

Sangwoo solidifies his role as the mom.

1) He teaches sexual acts in the room he was haunted in

he even thanks Yoonbum after the blowjob 

2) He caresses with damp hands

3) He provides food rather than having Yoonbum cook

4) He explains the situation the way an abused parent would

Again, time passes after this. And then Sangwoo tests his loyalty and Yoonbum tries to make his escape and royally fucks up. I’ll make a post about that too later.

BONUS *when you’re your own mom and you cuddle yourself??*

killing stalking is a wild ride that we’re all going to get thrown the fuck off of

There’s no after-smacc image he’s dead and we all fucking know it


For @overwatchers