i am sorry for loving you so roughly i am sorry for trying to force my heart down your throat i am sorry for wasting tears on you for two years
you were an opportunity i snatched up & i loved every moment i swam in your veins & found myself locked in your chest a minefield of what ifs & indecisiveness & fear a crystallized museum of scars from past lovers & future dreams washed down with salt
you were a sky full of mystic stardust & i was a dimmed lantern trudging through winter’s harshest blizzard you engulfed me & cradled me & built me a home in the cosmos (of your eyes) you gave me a purpose to breathe, to love, to feel whole to spare my life & give it to you, so we could’ve had a happily ever after
i am sorry i was not the one for you i am sorry that you are the one for me i am sorry for every bad poem i’ve written about you i am sorry for trying to heal from your knife in my stomach i am sorry to be such an inconvenience in your life i am sorry for not being the person of your dreams i am sorry i smashed your chest in with my hammers i am sorry i carved your soul into a tomb for you to die in
you were the light of my life & i was the darkness shrouding yours our yin & yang symbol shattered when worlds collided & everything went to hell & i screamed for you but you screamed for another i died looking at you with someone else’s arms around your waist i died trying to be that person i died trying i died i
couldn’t muster up the courage to leave so i let you love them while i loved you in the closet watching you two make love on a Saturday night while your annoying tv blocked the sounds of your noise but i knew what you sounded like and i prayed you thought of me while they were going down on you
i am sorry for thinking terrible thoughts about you i am sorry for prying my ribs apart in your name i am sorry for my thighs bleeding every night you stayed away i am sorry for hurting you like you hurt me i am sorry for entering your life
i got lost in your black hair-strands & chocolate eyes your silky voice through the phone your breathy moans against my ear your skin on my skin i miss you, i miss us, i miss who i was with you & i’m sorry we ruined it with love
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
There is a silence, because when a heart breaks, the person becomes the definition of emptiness. Even when their world crumbles and falls apart in their hands, it is silent. There’s a cruel realization in heartbreak, and it’s that you know you’re about to live where the sun no longer shines; where you can’t even see that your clouds have gone to grey.