tumblr just wouldnt let me do it no matter what i did

please dont follow me if u are mutuals with @.icedsodas/@.phantomemoji/@.owasera or whatever their current url is

current known url: mogekowiki

this isnt a callout and i have no right to call it one because its mostly personal drama but please take the time to read this anyway (esp if ur mutuals with them) because theyve made me ridiculously uncomfortable over the course of the past couple years

lots of text and screenshots under the cut also tell me if its hard 2 read cuz of my theme and i will edit it (in the meantime u can right click an image + open in new tab to see high res)

u can either block them or me after reading this idrc which/rbing would help me spread the word to all my mutuals but u dont have to

tw for brief mentions of suicide

edit 5/12/17: so they talked to me about it and really only dug themselves further into a hole and made it even more obvious that they are stalking me. that conversation will be linked at the bottom of the post to keep it in chronological order, but if you already read it and want to see the update,  >click here.<

Keep reading

What it would be like to spend time indoors with Ten

- oh god listen, an indoor day with ten would be so so so so fun
- i feel like hes a morning guy so he’d wake u up at like 8 am and he’d see that it’s raining outside and he’d like shake u awake
- “(y/n) !!!! (y/n) its raining outside :(((”
- he wud be sad bc he wanted to go outside and explore today
- but then he’d look on the bright side of things and realize that he could spent even more one on one time with u
- nd it shows on his face too
- one second hes crestfallen the next hes veaming
- “ten….whatd u wake me up for-_-”
- “we need to get this day started asap !!!”
- he’d decorate ur living room with the coziest things
- he’d grab all ur couch cushions and lay them on the floor, all ur blankets and toss them on the cushions, all ur pillows and just spread them around the cusions
- a makeshift bed for the two of u :“)
- he’d plop on it and invite u and u’d plop right ontop of him nd doze off again
- "come on (y/n) its 8 am !!!!! wake up !”
- u wouldnt
- so he’d go ahead and make coffee for u
- after drinking the coffee you’d feel much more energized
- he’d look thru netflix and pick an indie movie probably akkskeked
- like the ones u see on tumblr with the out of context subs in black and white
- u’d cuddle eachother on the makeshift bed and watch it
- after a few hours and the several movies he’d look outside and pout again “its still raining”
- then, once again, he’d smile real big and he’d grab ur hand
- “???? chittaphon where are u taking me?”
- “outside”
- “w HAT ??? BUT ITS R-”
- too late. ur already wet.
- ur standing at the bottom of ur porch stairs dripping wet from head to toe in your pajamas watching ten twirl around in the rain
- “ten are you joking me”
- “COME ON (Y/N) !! UR MISSING OUT RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO FUN!!!”
- u’d hesitate and ten would sense it
- so he grabs you by the wrist and twirls you around with him as well
- the rain is cold but it didn’t matter because you Were having fun rip
- you and ten would would do that thing jack and rose did in titanic where they twirled around real fast while holding on to each other
- it would just be cheesy and cliche but really nice at the same time
- you’d end up tripping though and you’d bring ten with you
- you guys would be laying on the grass laughing as the rain continues to fall
- ur neighbours are watching but they aren’t Judgin. in facf, they’re cheesin because of u and ten’s cuteness
- everytime someone in ur neighbourhood sees u and ten together they jus smile to themselves because u guys look so happy together
- Honestly the couple of the Neighbourhood
- “come on (y/n), let’s go back inside and dry off”
- he’d help you and and you guys would bound back into the house
- he’d turn on the shower so you guys can get warm again and you guys get in together
- dont worry nothing R rated happens
- its just all rly nice
- u guys just stand and hug each other letting the hot water run down the both of you
- its nice too because Ten looks like a very warm person. like he probably has a Lot of body heat
- after the both of you get out, you both put on bathrobes to stay Comfy
- like the amazing bf he is, he readies some warm hot chocolate with marshmallows (or not… ur pref)
- u guys sit back down on the makeshift bed the both of you made and sip the hot coffee in silence
- but like its a good silence. a comfortable silence
- suddenly all the power cuts out and it’s dark
- “oh shit what just happened?”
- “a black out”
- “no shit ten”
- he’d light a few candles and you guys would sit at your dining room table now, clothed in darkness
- thats when u hear the thunder
- you’d jump and curl up into a ball. you hate thunder
- ten is probably scared of it too, but he’s more worried for you
- so he attempts to walk to ur side of the dining table but then another boom sounds and he jumps
- “c-come on, (y/n), lets go back to our room”
- slowly, he’d help you towards your shared room
- every boom the both of you would jump
- he’d cuddle you real close to him
- “it’s okay babe, i’m here.”
- he’d nuzzle ur face in his chest and play with your hair to distract him and you from the sounds
- he’d probably also hum a tune too to drown the sound out
- but the both of you still jump from time to time
- half an hour later, the thunder stops
- u don’t notice it happening though since you’ve fallen asleep against his chest
- he notices you snoring and he’d giggle and kiss your forehead
- “i love you”

i was working on a tomco mix on 8tracks and i started just rambling abt them in the description so . i Moved The Party here to tumblr. this post was SUPPOSED to be about headcanons but honestly its just me going thru tom’s friendenemies actions

oh my god okay like. so in friendenemies the second marco is like “wait no we’re gonna miss the marathon we have to go”, a crack forms in toms Mental Stability. his thought process is as follows: “but..id rather just hang here… is he not having a good time? i thought everything was going well?” and then “fuck he really wants to leave. everythings falling apart, shit shit shit” and “he only came along for the tickets he doesnt actually care fuck i thought-” and thats where theres only a strand left of his Mental Stability. when marco becomes truly adamant about leaving, tht thread snaps and tom loses it. he lashes out because for the first time since star, someone seemed to actually legitimately like his company. he thinks so heavily that marco was only there for movie tickets while he legitimately had grown to care for marco, and it fucks him up.

im not saying that he was in love or anything, but here’s the deal: tom is seriously fucking lonely and probably has equally-as-serious abandonment issues. i know that feeling well, and i know how easy it is to latch onto anyone who will give you the time of day. that’s exactly what happened to tom, whether he was aware of it or not - and im betting that he wasnt. im betting that he was just enjoying marco’s company and then marco wants to leave and theres sirens going off in his head, screaming at him that something bad is happening and to fucking fix it. the thing is that tom doesn’t know how to do that right now. his sense of ‘do this, dont do that’ is gone, and anyone whos ever experienced an anxiety or panic attack knows what im talking about. rationality leaves you in times like that. because anger is so deeply ingrained into tom, its his default when hes afraid or really nervous. you could even take it further and say tom’s anger is his armor. tom thinks that hes already lost another person that he cares about, and that terrifies him. 

aaaaaaaaanyways, in his anger and upset and hurt, he lashes out at marco. he gets aggressive and insults the very thing that got marco to hang out w him. lets go deeper into that action, yeah? in tom’s mind, the mackie hand movies are more important to marco than tom is. in tom’s mind, marco doesn’t give two fucks about tom. that is what he’s truly upset about. failing the anger management test is what tom (and marco, for that matter) thinks the issue is. the test failure really only had a small part and is what served as his mental breaking point.

from there, tom goes “u like this thing? well fuck this thing, because u like this thing more than me” and rips + burns the tickets. marco, up until this point, was in shock + trying to process everything. now, everything falls into place and marco realizes thinks that all of this was just tom being fake for a prize ribbon.

im going to do more action/thought analyzation here instead of continuing. at this point, both tom and marco think that the other person had ulterior motives and that the day’s events weren’t sincere. and honestly? thats something worthy of note. it should be noted that the day wouldnt have happened if it werent for tom’s test and marco’s love for mackie hand. ive only seen one person (whose post is way better than mine) touch upon the fact that tom picked marco for the test (im not gonna go into the test itself bc uve surely seen the episode, you know the context). and like, that’s super important. you can’t look over anything in this episode tbfh??? u cant. imo, the reasons why tom picked marco are:

          - he cant pick star (meaning he cant lie and pick someone he likes instead). hes trying to get over her and he knows she wouldnt agree to it anyways. plus brian isnt a Fool he knows how tom feels abt star

         - we dont know who tom actually Hates The Most but i very very Very highly doubt it was marco. before the ping pong episode? probably. but not afterwards. and from there, theres two different branches. A) he doesnt actually have someone specific that he Hates The Most, so marco’s the next best thing (even tho he doesnt actually Hate him) or B) picking the person he Hates The Most would mean automatic failure, so he goes with one of the few people he can actually stand the company of

for whatever reason, tom wasnt all that truthful to brian’s rule and picked marco. and mackie hand was the ribbon on the skeptical package (meaning the thing that convinced marco to agree to hanging out. i mean, there was star too but he was still skeptical even after she encouraged him). if it werent for mackie hand, i dont really think that marco would have agreed to hanging out alone w tom.

MOVING ON LOL. so marcos real pissed @ tom for being a Liar Liar Pants On Fire and kicks the door down, yadda yadda yadda. tom realizes at the “and i was dumb enough to believe it” line that Oh Shit Marco Actually Did Have A Good Time With Me, I Fucked Up. now marco is hurt while toms like No Wait NVM, so he tries to convince marco that it wasnt all about the test. he knows that the test was what sparked it, though: he knows he cant lie to him again, and all he can back up is his passion for love sentence. obviously, that didnt fix anything. so toms like Shit What Do I Do, then his mind goes “oH” and jumps into goddamn singing marco a love song. that also happens to be marcos “second favorite love sentence song, by the way”.

fuckin gay much lol

so when marco starts singing along, tom goes like OK OK THATS GOOD THIS IS GOOD and runs out to marco w open gotdam arms. he wants marco to like him so bad lmao he craves that reassurance and affection and marco’s the first person to have given it to him in a long time. marco has accepted tom’s Song Apology but hes still hurt. tom still lied to him, and sorry doesnt mend all wounds. again, tom tries to find something to fix it, and we all know what that the “something” was 

so marco’s like Holy Shit and thanks tom, and the exchange is really fucking sincere. the look that they exchange is enough to make it clear enough lmao im not even gonna bother w that

(yes i stole the picture from pigeoncoos’ post, sue me)(actually dont, im poor)

they try to see the movie, blah blah blah

also: the whole “i still dont like you” stuff? idk what that even means, honestly. the best i can do is agree w pidgeoncoos saying that it was more of a callback to how they started off. dont ask me pal i dont know shit about that one

Lapis and Jasper or could you guys stop?

So after I watched the alone at the sea episode and Iwent through the tumblr tags and reblog a tons of stuff and got seriously triggered (hehehe, never thought I am goint to use that word :D) by some of them and some people’s behaviour, I decided to add my own opinion about Lapis and Jasper, them ships, the new episode and the survivors. So If you are an abuse survivor who sides with Lapis you might be triggered by my post so be careful.


Lets begin and drop the bombs (this post is going to be very-very-very long)

The first part will be about why I think Lapis was abusive towards Jasper and how some excuses are simply not true or at least questionable.

Let me get this straight, for me Lapis was abusive towards Jasper and she has Stockholm Syndrome now. But Lapis was also a victim of abuse but not by Jasper but HW and the CGs (even if they dont know about it which is highly questionable). Just because she was confused and hurt that doesnt justify her actions.

And no Lapis didnt want to save her “new friends” the CGs and Earth because until the Same Old World episode she hated our planet and she still hates the CGs who kept her trapped and she has every reason to do so. She only started to like the Earth because of Steven and she only endures the CGs because of him. I hope we will get an episode where she confronts them. And I hope it wont be like the Peridot episode where almost everybody sided with Peri (even Steven) and they forgot that Lapis had her reasons to be angry at her and she wasnt simply just mean to „poor, cute” Peridot.


Lapis is not confused and she doesnt blames herself because of nothing. She knows who hurt her and she names them, ergo CGs, HW gems who poofed and tortured her and Peridot because she knows that it was her fault that she needed to go back to Earth. She even said: But you used me like everyone else and she did, for information. Peridot is not completly guilty but she and Jasper didnt torture her. And how do I know for sure? Because they didnt torture the CGs. They trapped them there and poofed Garnet but they didnt use the time they had to get information from them because they didnt have the authority for that and Lapis was an informat, she was assigned as an informant ergo somebody knew she had information that was useful for Peridots’ mission. If anybody tortured her it was Yellow Diamond or maybe Blue Diamond who gave her to YD. Lapis was put into her cell after she didnt give crucial information so HW could decide her fate.


But it was Jasper who forced Lapis, she tried to manipulate Lapis to fuse with her?

Jasper didnt force her to do anything. And I wouldnt call that manipulation more like convincing somebody to help you. Jasper was seriously weakend and she knew she wasnt strong enough. For Jasper as any HW gem fusion was really just a tactic to make some gems stronger (as we saw in the answer episode) and she thought that it was unfair that Garnet (two gem) defeated her who was alone. Jasper didnt like this tactic but she was ready to use it if it was needed. Jasper thought that Lapis wanted revenge on the CGs and that she still loved HW more than the rebells.


But Lapis had no other choice to save Steven.

Wrong. Lapis as we saw is a very powerful gem. Even after her gem was cracked she managed to defeate the CGs and stole the ocean. And now that she was healed she could easily broke a HW ship and punch Jasper out in a second. So no, a weakend Jasper couldnt hurt her.


But Lapis was weakend? -So she could fly away and still trap Jasper later on?

Lapis could have poofed Jasper but she didnt want her to be defeated she wanted to hurt her like she was hurt. „I am done being everyone prisoner so you are my prisoner now and I am never leting you go.”- Not your prisoner but everyone and she didn’t  just try to give back how Jasper handled her but to entrap her forever.

These pictures of Malachite doesnt really show Lapis as a victim. Jasper leaves mark print in the sand and try to end the fusion but she cant.

 

And in the Chille Tide episode we saw that Jasper wore the cuffs while Lapis part looked like a weight at the end of a chain. And she said: i have to keep her down. –ergo Jasper wanted to escape but Lapis didnt let her.


But Lapis didnt hurt her too much.- Umm… didnt Lapis described her experience as a tomb to Peridot? And that she was suffocating? – Imagine Jasper’s situation who was down more, she suffocated more.

Ok. but later on she didnt want to end the fusion eventhough she was in control.

Didnt Jasper said: If we have to be this thing at least we can have a little fun.

She sounded like someone who cant escape because the other one doesnt let her or an abused victim who accepted her place because no matter what the other person did she still wants to be with her/him or she just couldnt end the fusion. (this is the part where her stockholm syndrom starts to kick in).


When Malachite fought with the CGs it wasnt only Jasper but Lapis too because she was still mad at them, their hatred towards them combined and that is why Malachite could use her powers (ergo ice wall, spikes).

Alone at sea episode:

Lots of people say that Jasper lines are tipical abuser’s lines who try to guilt trip the victim and make them come back to them. That is one way to interpret them but if we really look into their history and how Lapis reacted to her I think they meant something different.

I was following you.- Lots of victims cant end their abussive relationship and they later on become obsessed with their abusers. So yes they follow them either to confront them or to go back to them.

This version of Rose Quartz works for you know- If Jasper is the abuser why would she respect Lapis’ powers and think that somebody would even want to do anything with them, especially work under them? Abusers dont like to assume or imagine their victims in higher positions.

You are pointing that shield the wrong way- A victim confront her abuser but others stand up to protect the abuser because they are friends or family members or dont believe the accusations because they didnt experienced them.

She is the one you should be afraid off- After what she has been went through no wonder that Jasper says that, even Greg is afraid off Lapis’ power.

You cant lie to me, I see what you are capable off -Jasper experienced Lapis’ bad side, she cant be innocent for her.

I thought I was a brute- Jasper admits she is harsh and agressive and she shouldnt have push Lapis and others around.

But you are a monster- For abused victims abusers are. And Lapis is suprised by that.

Lapis knew what she did was bad and she admitted that she enjoyed it. If she was really a victim she would say- Oh you hurt me but I enjoyed taking everything on you? That doesnt add  up. If you are a victim you dont have the upper hand in the situation, all you can do is to try to convict your abuser to do things in your way (hey like Jasper did hmmm?).

And no Lapis wasnt a victim who just gave back her abuse. Just ask yourself what Jasper really did to her? Based on what we saw she dragged her and pushed her around and try to convince her to fuse with her but nothing else.

But Lapis entrapped her for a year and suffocated her and that is not just a payback. And as I said before she could handle the situation differently.

Lapis doesnt want anything to do with you- Oh Steven my child yes she does. She admitted she misses Jasper and she missed being fused with her and taking her anger on her. And no that is not healthy.

It is between us.- People dont like when others try to stop their confrontations with their abusers, especially if they are on the wrong side.

Why would you want that?- Genuine suprise. Not how dare you even ask that or be angry about it.

I was wrong about fusion you made me understand- You made me understand how relationships suppose to work. It wasnt perfect but we can work on that.

I liked taking everything on you, I needed you, I hated you, It was bad- Lapis admits everything in this line but noo Jasper just guilt trip her and she always takes the blame. Again no, she knows who are to be blamed. (Peridot, Cgs, HW…)

It will be better this time, I have changed you changed me- You made me understand I was wrong. I accept you, you dont have to hurt me anymore because I will be good now. You really made me a better person. A real victim with stockholm syndrome rigth there.

I am the only one who can handle your kind off power- It is true tho. Jasper saw Lapis’ darkest side and she managed to survive it. Also if Lapis becomes corrupted or bad who will stop her? The CGS who were defeated by her even when she was injured? Peridot?- Come on. Steven?- He is still learning and weaker compared to Lapis. Only Jasper could stop her at least slow her down.

For a minute Lapis was thinking about it, how good it felt that she could control Jasper and take her fustration on her, she wanted to feel that again but after she looked at Steven she realized that she cant do that.

As a victim she was torned because when they hurt someone, they actually hurt themselves again. They know what they are doing is wrong but they cant stop it. They really need someone who can help them out and who they can trust. And Steven was that person there. Because of his love and friendship she managed to overcome her unhealthy feelings and decided to turn off Jasper’s offer.

Let me get this straight Lapis both enjoyed and hated being fused with Jasper. She enjoyed the control and suffering she caused but she also tried to hurt herself because she felt she dont deserve real happiness and Jasper’s inprisonment reminded her to her own.

It is like her own fans dont listen to Lapis when she talks about her abuse and her mistakes too. Peridot and the CGs hurt Lapis and she is angry at them. Her situation is better with Peridot now but only because Steven managed to convince her to give Peri a chance(which I think was kind off over looked). Lapis knows who hurt her and who she hurt. I like how the fans dont even speak about what she has done to Greg and how he reacted around her. But they probably going to excuse that too.

Jasper was bad she deserved everything and she is the villain of the show.

Jasper came with Peridot, their mission was to check on the cluster, they wanted to conquere nothing just check on it but Jasper used this opportunity to meet with Rose Quartz who she looked up to and wanted to defeate (or at least fight with her).  Lapis, Peridot was ok with defeating the CGs too. Lapis gave away the cordinates of their base and Peridot fired the laser.

Other things Lapis did:

Stole the ocean which could have killed all the humans

Broke Greg’s leg and his wan

Suffocated two children (not just headbut one) and almost killed Connie even after what Steven did to her.


But Jasper poofed Garnet and want to defeate the CGs

Peridot wanted to do the same thing.

She fired lasers against them

She kidnapped Steven and hold a gun to his head

She wanted to crush the CGs, not just poof them or bring them back to HW but to kill them off

But that is ok because they have changed and they are good now.- yes now but Jasper didnt get her backstory or redemtion arc so she have the same chance that these two.

But Rebecca said that there will be a villain- Didnt she said that there isnt any real bad guys in this show? Or do you really think that Jasper will be the main villain while the Diamonds corrupted their own followers, crushed them and made them into the cluster. Come on. -.-

But Rebecca based Lapis character from herself and she was a victim too. Ergo Lapis victim, Jasper abuser. –No Rebecca based her older comic on that and later on she based Lapis on that character but as I said in an other post did you guys forgot how the Su crew drew these two? (Jasper-  Juri Arisugawa and Lapis as Shiori) Do you guys think that the SU crew is so cruel to draw Rebecca ’s „abuser” in good light while Lapis in bad and manipulative? And they say for no reasone that she is a complex character?


This is kinda my interpretation of their relationship and Lapis based on the show and my own experiences in abusive relationship and my response for those who try to excuse Lapis’ behaviour and say that Jasper is the ultimate bad guy. I dont have problems if you guys disagree or interprete other ways what happened or you hate Jasper. I understand we cant love all the characters. But please be respectful towards other people opinion and show evidence off the show and not just based your opinion because of your life experince, like that is the only truth. Please, dont use your victim status to shut down arguments and opinions and ships. Even if others are not victims they can form their own opinion and ship whatever they want.

I dont really see people going to the Lapis+Peridot/ Lapis+ any CGs ship and telling them how wrong and problematic they are so dont do that to Jaspis either. Let people support their own ships and favourite characters and dont go around and call them victim haters and abuser excusers because your life experiences dont make other people’s feelings, interpretation and experiences invalid. You and people who agree with you are not the only part of the victim community and you dont have the right to speak in everybody’s name or to go around and bully other victims. It is even more disguisting if you are not even a real victim but you use them up to shut down conversations and spread hate towards other fans. As a victim you can share your own story and interpreation of characters and lines but dont use it just like that is to only healthy interpretation. What really makes me sick in the stomach that some victims feel the need to share their stories to make their opinions valid and to protect their favourite characters and themselves because others will call them out or bully them. Bytheway guys if you dont want others to comment, reblog and give their own opinions then dont make posts about that topic or at least dont put the you can reblog tag.

And to make this valid because of course my opinion dont matter otherways, an abused victim is signing off. (and no I was a real victim too but I am not going to share my stories because I just cant do it, they still hurt me too much).

Its always been us two - Carl Grimes imagine

Word Count: 1.126

I decided to combine two anonymous requests:

Anonymous: Hi :) Could you please do an imagine where Carl and reader have a crush on each other but they can’t admit it. Enid likes Carl too and she try to be with him a lot of the time. At the end Carl and reader start dating and something smut if you prefer it.

Anonymous: Carl Fluff!!!!!XD

A/N This is my first “long” imagine, so i really hope you enjoy it. Another thing is that since i live in Scandinavia, I havent seen the season/episode where Enid gets introduced, I only know what i’ve seen on Tumblr wich isnt alot. But i hope it makes enough sense. :) I also hope that the anons who requested it likes it aswell. FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ANYTIME <3 :) Request here

Keep reading

you can reblog this idgaf i can remake again if i need to

i haven;t really made a good post about this so i probably should now
ill start by explaining what happened. not putting this under a read more like last time.

around june or may or something like that i met kadeem (gatanaprince) through tumblr. we exchanged skypes and started talking and i never lied about my age like he said i did. i have no reason to do that and i’ve never done that with ANYONE. i told him i would be 15 soon because my birthday was coming up. if anything, he misread what i said and i did NOT lie.

he also said that i confessed to him which isn’t true at all. i might have said that i liked him as a person and he could have taken it the wrong way, but why would i confess to someone after knowing them for 3 days? that doesn’t make any sense. i’m way too scared to confess to people in the first place.. it just doesn’t make sense at all. not to mention i was still in love with someone else?? even if i did confess to him it’s really irrelevant to the situation? that doesn’t make it okay to start flirting and getting sexual with a (at the time) 14 year old.

anyways eventually things got sexual and i really don’t know who initiated it but honestly? it doesn’t even matter. what matters is that this 20 year old was doing sexual things with a 14 year old. im 15 now, but i was 14 then.

this is where he says that he remembers one of the sexual things i said to him. he’s trying to say that i should remember what he said to me if it were really that traumatic, but like i explained to him, at the time i obviously wasn’t thinking it was traumatic or bad. i only realized the things he was doing with me were bad at the end and then i began to avoid him. 

here he says he probably said things like “id like that” or “id let you” in response to things i said but hes saying that he didnt say anything overly sexual… like… really? you were obviously still responding and reciprocating because otherwise i wouldn’t be saying anything to you? i wouldnt have sent you a picture later on if i didnt feel like you were interested?? and he’s still literally saying he’d like it it doesn’t matter if you’re not saying shit word for word what you wanna do to me you’re still saying you’d like to have sex with a literal child

eventually, we stopped. he says it was because he started to get uncomfortable & at one point i believed him but after reading the newest logs that were posted with 3dgf i don’t believe that anymore. it sparked some memories; I remember him saying something along the lines of “im going to jail for this” or “im going to jail for talking to you” (ive vented to people about this before after a different callout post was made about someone saying shit just like that to another girl) and he just frequently mentioned that kind of stuff?? and i remember asking him if he was bothered by it (the stuff we were doing) and he said no. he said he was not bothered about the stuff we were doing. so really, were you uncomfortable? or were you just fucking lying to me? 

he still continued to flirt with me after it was over too. this was after my birthday on july 13th.

and i’m sure you’ve all seen the screencap where i said that i thought he cared about me. boy has my fucking opinion changed. the only reason i said that is because he was planting those thoughts into my head. before i had spoken with him on thursday i did not think he cared about me at all. 

but then he started saying things like this and i felt like he really did care about me. and then he turned around and posted all of those things and when i confronted him about it he said this.

yeah, really seems like you care about me, huh? so now i feel lost and confused and manipulated and my head hurts and all of this is stressing me out so fucking bad and i could care less about him he can burn in hell for all i care

fuck you, fuck anyone defending you.

my rant bc done

i am so mad at everyone.
1. im not mad at johnnie or jessica or the people backing johnnie or the people backing jessica, im mad at this fandom as a whole. we drove taylor away, dont deny it bc we did. so many of you dont understand, having taylor on tumblr, getting in on our jokes, sending us things talking to us it was all a LUXURY. it was absolutely amazing and bc of all this shit that has gone on we actually drove her away from us. seriously, this whole thing should have stayed between the victims and the accused, i dont give a fuck who said what, i dont give a fuck what was said and what was true or edited or what the fuck ever, i dont care. you know why i dont care ? BC ITS NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS. YES OKAY HATE IS HORRIBLE. DISGUSTING RUDE IGNORANT HATE IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS EVERYONE KNOWS THAT AND IF HE DID OR DIDNT IT DOESNT MATTER, NO ONE SHOULD EVER HATE ANYONE AND IF IT HAPPENED IT WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IN THE WRONG.
however. this is the INTERNET. theres going to be shit people. theres going to be people who dont know you and will say shit about you and you know what? ACCEPT THAT OR GET OFF THE FRICKEN INTERNET. everyone warns you when your 8 years old that you dont know who your talking to, that millions of people are on at the exact same time as you and you DONT KNOW THEM. so if some dickhead comes along saying how ugly your page is then honey USE THE FUCKING BLOCK BUTTON OKAY LIKE SERIOUSLY BLOCK THE FUCK OUTTA THAT SLOB BC THEY HAVE NO SAY IN WHO YOU ARE OR HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE. okay? this didnt need to blow up as big as it has, and now theres FUCKING news articles being written about it bc its so blown out of proportion that apparently taylor was threatening to leave us and hates us and we hate her and whatever bullshit they came up with
again, i link back to, IF YOU WERE NOT INVOLVED,THIS SITUATION IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
YOU DONT HAVE TO FORGIVE EACHOTHER. HELL YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO APOLOGISE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO ? KEEP IT BETWEEN YOU TWO, BLOCK EACHOTHER AND CARRY ON WITH YOUR LIVES CUS LET ME TELL YOU WHEN YOUR 40 YEARS OLD THERES NO CHANCE IN HELL YOUR GONNA BE SITTING THERE GOING “sigh remember that boy on instagram that told me that my blog was ugly wow he was so right im so shit at everything” OR “ oh remember that girl on instagram that i told to kill herself i hope shes okay and didnt take me too seriously wow sorry RANDOM STRANGER” LIKE UGH OKAY YES BULLYING IS BAD YES HE NEEDED TO APOLOGISE AND NO SHE DIDNT HAVE TO FORGIVE HIM
BUT THEY COULD HAVE WORKED TOGETHER TO MAKE SURE THIS THING DIDNT GET AS BIG AS IT DID BUT THEY DIDNT DO THAT AND THATS WHAT IM MAINLY PISSED ABOUT

2. LEAVE. TAYLOR. ALONE.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TAYLOR. NOTHING. AT ALL. NOT EVEN A SMIDGIN. NOTHING. JUST. NOTHING. SHE HASNT SAID A WORD ABOUT WHATS BEEN DONE, SHE HASNT CHOSEN A SIDE OR PICKED ON ANYONE OR SAID ANYTHING WAS WRONG ALL SHES DONE WAS LIKE ABOUT 5 POSTS ALL ALONG THE LINES OF “HOW ABOUT WE JUST STAY OUT OF IT” BUT NOOOOOOO YOU ALL JUST HAD TO PUSH DIDNT YOU? YOU MAY SAY THAT IM SO FAR UP HER ASS I CANT SEE WHEN SHE MAKES A MISTAKE OR SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IF STICKING UP FOR THE PEOPLE I LOVE IS KISSING ASS THEN MY HAND IS STRAIGHT IN THE AIR I AM THE BIGGEST ASS KISSER ON THE INTERNET. YOUR ALL ACTING LIKE SHES MADE THIS HUGE FUCK UP BUT LIKE WTF HAS SHE ACTUALLY DONE? NOTHING???? AND EVEN OUT OF SOME BIZARE REASONING YOU THINK SHES IN THE WRONG, I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ALL LIVE BUT OVER HERE IN AUSTRALIA WE GOT THIS PRETTY BIG THING CALLED MATESHIP. WHICH BASICALLY MEANS HAVING YOUR MATES BACK 24/7. EVEN THEY FUCK UP. DO YOU ALWAYS AGREE WITH IT? NO. DO YOU SUPPORT THEM ANYWAY? YES. WHY? BECAUSE THEIR YOUR FUCKING MATE. YOUR THE ONES THAT ARE ALWAYS PREACHING AND PREYING ABOUT HOW TAYLORS YOUR BEST FRIEND, YET YOU TURN ON HER AS SOON AS SHE HAS A DIFFERENT OPINION TO YOU. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU? CUS I KNOW FOR CERTAIN I WOULDNT WANT YOU IN MY LIFE IF YOUR DEFINITION OF MATESHIP IS LEAVEING AND ACCUSING ME OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT READING BETWEEN THE LINES FUCKERY EVERY TIME I HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION FROM YOU. TAYLOR IS ALWAYS GETTING SHIT FROM THE MEDIA, ALWAYS, AND NOW YOUVE STARTED TOO? SOME PEOPLE HAVE EVEN SAID THEY DONT CARE IF SHE COMES BACK ON TUMBLR LIKE EXCUSE YOU????? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MAY NOT CARE BUT YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS THAT I DO. YES SHE FOLLOWS ME AND YES THAT IS AMAZING BUT IVE NEVER GOTTEN TO TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER AND HOW MUCH SHE FUCKING MEANS TO ME AND IM NOT GONNA STOP UNTIL THAT HAPPENS, AND NOW ALL YOU DICKHEADS HAVE MADE IT A MILLION TIMES HARDER, ALL BC YOU THINK SHE SHOULDVE PRESSED A BUTTON WHEN SHES ON A SOCIAL MEDIA SITE. GET. FUCKED.

I MAY LOOSE FOLLOWERS FOR THIS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT CANT TAKE IT DONT GIVE IT. NOW BC IVE JUST SPENT 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE WRITING THIS FOR YOU UNEDUCATED IDIOTS IF I FAIL MY HISTORY ASSIGNMENT ITS ON YOU. IM ANGRY. BYE.