Sometimes I doubt if I could be anything for you
can’t stomach these feelings
that are floating around for you
I’ve tried many ways to rid of this love
I have in my heart for you
only because you can’t seem to feel the same too
I’ve been writing poems about you for two years now
hopeless in love and all I can feel is foolish
can’t even talk to you the same just to mask the fact
that I’m in love with you, but I know my eyes are 101 loveproof
I see couples together all around me
and my mind betrays me for a moment and I’m consumed
with thoughts of the possibility that we could be
and you loving me could finally become true
You catch my eye, but I look down and pretend it didn’t happen
the way your dimples deepen give me the impression
that you could be feeling me
But then I see you hugged up with your girlfriend
and the thought of you liking me turns into a fantasy
I secretly catch you staring at me closely or from afar
have me wondering whether you find me beautiful
or if you’re simply just dozing off
I’m just lost––but, probably not I’m not the type to drop jaws
just the type to make you laugh
our relationship remaining platonic
and all you’ll have of me are friendly, wholesome thoughts
Where in my right mind did I come up
with the notion that you might love me more than a best friend?
But that bit of hope keeps me thinking:
is that really how everything will end?
I have no idea, but only time will tell
and though I think I don’t deserve it
I’m blessed that the Lord has left you in my life still
Although I know you can’t just be best friends
with someone you’re in love with
I hope that it’ll just be a matter of time
that you will be mine
Hello! I am a writer that is fairly new to the game. I realized I wanted to write full time a few ago. Since then, I've been working on a book, that I consider to be my baby; the masterpiece that will create my overall brand. However, I struggle with the discipline of it all. I have such a hard time getting myself to just sit down and finish! I'm currently working on my 23rd chapter but I know I still have so much to go. Working 40 hours a week isn't necessarily helping either. Advice?
What you’re experiencing is what
a lot of aspiring/newbie writers go through–you need to sit yourself down and come
up with a plan of action. And because it’s my style, here’s a list to help with that plan of action:
1. Find your motivation. What
inspires you? Why do you want to finish your book? Why do you want to write? Once
you find your motivation, surround yourself with it. Realizing that you will never be a career writer unless you write your book is a good kick in the ass.
2. Make writing a habit.
The way to form habits is to do them daily. Put aside an hour every day to focus on your
manuscript—you can even set an alert in your phone. Be very clear to
everyone that if they interrupt you during this time that their deaths are on
their hands. You’ll be surprised at how quickly it becomes natural (the writing, not the interruption murders).
3. Set goals. Find what works for you. A page a day? 700 words? Set you goals as your phone’s lock
screen. Put sticky notes on your mirror. Do a goal thermometer and scribble out
a notch for each chapter/page you complete. Hang it somewhere where you’ll see
it every day.
4. Create a ritual. What I’ve always done is play some music, open my document, and
read what I last wrote. By now, when the music comes on, I know it’s time to
get to business. Combined with my habit of listening to the same song on repeat
for days, I once accidently conditioned myself to open my doc when I heard a
certain song. Find whatever works for you.
5. Consider your future. How serious are you about being a
writer? For any sort of dream, there are risks/stresses/extra work required for
them to come into fruition. If you can’t find time to write, you need to think
about what that means for the future. In five years where will you be if you continue
down this path? Where do you want to be? What are sacrifices (time/energy/money)
you might need to get there?
And I think it’s really going to be okay. Sure, it doesn’t feel like it now, but honestly, does it ever? We always have these ups and downs with the downs lasting longer than the ups most days, but we always make it out alright. Maybe with a few scars, maybe a few bad memories, maybe a few regrets but alright. And this will be another one of those times. You and I, we’re gonna be fine.
Maxwell Diawuoh, For the anon that felt “hopeless and lost and quite alone.”
10 Year Floor Canvas-As I took this in for framing and unfolded it, I stumbled across the painted handprints of my closest friend, Deanne Hastings, who went missing a year and a half ago. The handprints are from the last time she visited me.