tumblr blog love

And I sometimes wonder where you are or if the smell of cinnamon sugar poptarts still makes you want to puke. But I don’t miss you and I don’t regret anything. Because I’m great now, better even, and the fact that you’re not happy for me is so typical but I still want you to know: you said it was a mistake but it wasn’t, it was right for me.

Day Two: My Friends

They say your friends are the family you choose and my friends help shape me and challenge me all the time which I consider to be an immense blessing. Some friends I’ve known for half my life and some are new but are just as important to me. I love all my friends the same and I’d be nothing without them. 

My longest friend is probably Adrienne. We’re going on 12 or 13 years now., ’ve honestly lost count. We’ve pretty much seen each other through every fashion phase, boyfriend, hair style, family trauma or just family drama; we’ve worked together professionally, we lived together for a year in university, went to the same college and though we are wildly different people somehow our friendship just works. She is SO wise. Like, not just intelligent, which of course she is too. She is WISE. Like her moral compass always point due north and she has amazing values and intuition and just knows how to listen better than anyone I know and she gives the best advice. I think in another life she would have made an amazing therapist. If all that wasn’t enough can I just say how ridiculously beautiful she is?! I’ve never seen her look bad. Like ever. She has this natural way with fashion and can made faded black jeans and a plain black t-shirt look like a million dollars. We can talk about non sense for hours and never get tired of talking to each other and I don’t have a whole lot of friendships quite like that. We are also wildly different. She’s quieter, more introverted and a bit of a homebody. She doesn’t talk about herself personally with just anyone and when she does have a personal conversation with you, you know it’s special and that she trusts you. She is fiercely loyal and a little bit stubborn and I love her to death. She is also the first Swiftie I ever got to freak out about Taylor with. When we lived together in university, waaaay back in 2010 we would skip class so that we could get Speak Now tickets the SECOND they went on sale and would scroll through tumblr until 3am when we should have been studying for midterms. I’ve read articles that say if you’ve been friends with someone for longer than 7 years then you’ll be friends for life and I for one pray that’s true because it would be a privilege to have a friend like her by my side forever. 

Katrina is my next longest friend and probably the person whom I would call my best friend. We’ve been through some crazy ups and downs but we have a relationship where we challenge each other to be the best versions of ourselves and push each other to achieve all we can in life. I trust her with anything and she’ trusts me. She’s been through some insane shit that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and she is still able to find the positivity in life. She is a badass who doesn’t take any shit but she would do absolutely anything for her friends. She has this aura of beauty around her. It’s hard to explain, but for as long as I’ve known her she has just been a magnet for men. Men will line up for this girl and if she happens to be taken at the moment then they’ll take a number and sit and wait. She has been so hurt by love in the past but she is always ALWAYS open to it and I so admire her for that. She has taught me that when people hurt you once it’s okay to forgive them but if they continue to do it that it’s time to let them go. She’s also taught me that love is worth fighting for, even if you have to fight hard and that love comes in all forms and it’s not always convenient and the timing won’t always be right but saying yes to love is one of the best things we can do. I know I could call her at 4 in the morning crying and she would talk to me until I felt okay enough to hang up the phone. I know this because I’ve done it. And after working on a school project all night that I had to hand in at 8am the next day I got a call from her in the middle of the night and she asked me to pick her up. So I went and brought her back to my house and she slept in my bed with me and cried and I told her she could stay at my house as long as she needed. We would do that time and time again for each other no matter how many stupid fights we get into. My parents call her the third daughter they never had and my sister considers her to be like another big sister as well. She’s my soul mate and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. 

Tony and Graydon

I’m just gonna combine these two guys in one because they’re like two peas and I don’t have like a deep, meaningful friendship with them like I do with Katrina and Adrienne but I do know that these guys love all three of us and are always there for us. We’ve known each other since high school, Tony since middle school, but ironically we didn’t even become good friends until high school was over. Some of the craziest and most hilarious nights of my life have happened with these two guys and I know I can always count on them to make me smile. Our little crew wouldn’t be complete without them and no matter what life throws at them they seems to handle it with such confidence and ease. They are sensitive and strong and they listen to all our girl problems without complain and they call our exes douchebags with us when we’re upset about a break up and we play video games and eat pizza until 3 in the morning. We forget that we’re adults whenever we get together and I sincerely hope that never changes because I really think you need people in your life who keep you young at heart and these guys fit that description perfectly. They also notice when we get our hair done, even when we’ve lost weight or built muscle hustling at the gym, and they compliment us when our outfits are on fleek in a totally platonic way. Not to mention they are straight and their girlfriends are total angels who we are so grateful to have as part of our group. So much love for these guys.

My MAD LOVE SQUAD

Alright, time for some love for my Swiftie friends. We met 2 years ago on tumblr when everyone was creating squads. I put out a message asking if anyone wanted to be in a squad with me and these amazing people messaged me with an enthusiastic YES and it has been an amazing 2 years because of them. Their names are Daniela @ithinkim-finallyclean, Jess @mermaid-swiftie16, Jacky @oliviadibbleswift, Valeria @a-red-lip-classic-thing, Lisa @thatredlipclassicthingthatulike and Ashley. They live everywhere from California to Massachusetts to the United Kingdom and one lives here in Canada with me HAAYYY! Not only do we all freak the hell out whenever Taylor does ANYTHING AT ALL but we are actually really there for each other through everything life throws at us. We all recognize that life gets busy and we don’t always have time to reply to the group or give an update but if any one of us messaged the group saying “I need to talk.”, we’d all be there in a second to listen and help in any way we can. I actually got to meet Jacky in person at the 1989 Tour in Toronto on night one. It was so special and I never even thought I’d have internet friends through Taylor Swift let alone that I’d have the chance to actually meet them in person! I know Daniela and Jess have met too because they’re both in California and I’ll never forget the night when Dee when to the last Staples Centre show of the 1989 tour and she pretty much live streamed it for us. It was one of the best nights. We were so excited for her and we were so happy to feel like we got to share that with her. We are all in such different situations, have different interests, different careers, some are still in school, we have different families and different backgrounds but we have Taylor in common and that will always be enough to keep us together. 


So those are my closest friends whom I love to death and will protect with all my life. They make me who I am and not a day goes by where I don’t feel grateful to have friends like them in my life. It’s a wonderful thing to feel completely accepted by people. To know that they have seen you at your best and your absolute worst but that they still love you and are there for you no matter what. I’ll be doing a post later on about some of my other friends but they’re a different kind of friend… they’re like sisters ;) Until then!

Isn’t it funny, how we try so desperately for people that we want to claim as our own. We look our best for them, make the best jokes, invest all of our time into them, so maybe, just maybe, they’ll give us a chance.
We spend weeks, even months, even years, trying to get their attention and love. We worry constantly that someone else is giving them more and better. We hope that we’re the ones they’re thinking about at night.
Then two things could happen. They either break your heart, or fall in love with you. You could sob and scream and curse yourself for not being good enough for them. You could be bitter for so long wondering why you did so much for them. Or, they will notice all you’ve done. You’ll get what you wanted.
But time will pass and you’ll get comfortable. Start to forget why you tried so hard and you’ll start to try less because humans are naturally lazy, and why try when you already have what you want?
Isn’t it so sad, that we try so hard, just to one day take it all for granted.
—  v.m