Blue Skies and Possibilities (Lin/Reader Soulmate AU)
Summary: In a world where you can only see color once you make physical contact with your soulmate, you’re keeping your hands to yourself. Fate has other plans.
Word Count: 8642
Note: Thank you to @the-real-tony-stank for reading this ahead of time and being so sweet and to @thatoneimaginesblog for giving me a cute idea that pops up in here and putting up with a lot of Lin pictures while this got written.
You were in
the forest again.
light streaming through the trees, and the vivid color of the leaves told you
that you were dreaming. You felt a flutter in your stomach and smiled to
yourself. If there was color, that meant he would be here. You let your
instincts take over and walked swiftly in the direction the creek you’d visited
so many times before.
was, just like you knew he’d be. He turned to you with a boyish smile on his
face and you felt like you had just gotten home after a long trip away. You
didn’t have a name to attach to the color of his eyes, but you knew they were
deep and familiar. He held out a hand to you and you grabbed it, never knowing
how much time you’d have here. Tonight was a lucky one. You spent what felt
like an entire summer in the woods, neither of you speaking but somehow
heard a buzzing in the distance, you knew your time was up. You held tight to
his hand, but the world around you faded anyway. The feeling of his fingers
laced with yours was the last thing to slip away.
How about some trans boy Lance who's dealing with gender dysphoria
Oh! Back Again With The Trans!Lance (My Favorite)
Lance had always attempted to love his body, despite it not being perfect. He tried to make sure that his fem body wouldn’t ruin his mood.
He never had to worry much, every time he started to doubt himself he would call his parents or siblings. They always made sure that he knew how masculine he was.
Lance hated to admit but he took those phone calls for granted. He didn’t realize how important the actually were, until he was in space with no one to help him.
Lance splashed more cold water on his face. He needed to feel something besides negativity about his body. Lance hesitantly look down at his chest, he knew he had to take off his binder soon, but he didn’t want to.
Lance had to shower, he knew he needed to. He couldn’t.
Lance slumped down on the edge of the tube. Everything he had worked for came crashing down in a matter of hours.
This is so stupid. Lance tugged at his hair. Hair that was getting too long for his liking.
Lance closed his eyes and forced himself into the shower, then into pajamas, then into bed.
Disgusting. Weirdo. Fake. Always has to be different. Lance folded the pillow over his ears, attempting to block out the voices that plagued his mind.
He almost didn’t register the knock on the door.
“Hey buddy you okay?” It was Hunk, and very concerned Hunk.
Lance couldn’t blame his team for being concerned, he hadn’t left his room for 6 days now. Every time one of his teammates threaten to open the door Lance would stop them by saying how sick he was.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” No I’m not
“Is everything okay? Do you feel any better?” Hunk shot questions at him and Lance could barely keep up. His ear’s were ringing and Lance’s head felt cloudy.
“Yeah, I should be better by tomorrow.” Highly doubt it.
“Well….we miss you man.”
“Miss all of you too.” Lance’s voice was hollow and lacked any emotion. Lance curled in on himself.
After a few moments Lance heard Hunk walk away.
Lance remain motionless on his bed. He wrapped himself up in 3 different blankets, in an attempt to hide his body. Out of sight, Out of mind.
Lance let his mind wondered until he remember something. He slowly stood up and went to his jacket that was draped on a chair. He pulled out a small piece of paper out of an inside pocket. It was a small letter that his younger brother wrote him.
Lance reread the letter a few times over. Every line talked about how he was the best brother ever.
Lance crawled back into bed with the letter, rereading and rereading it.
Sorry this took so long to write but I was talking to my friend to make sure it was as realistic as possible.
Hey! So this is gonna be my first ever Moriarty x Reader fic, I hope you guys like it. (It might be a series…)
Plot: You are a crime scene photographer working alongisde Sherlock, John and Lestrade. You capture something you weren’t supposed to…
Guide: C/N = Client Name
The sound of your camera snapped a photo of the dead body in front of you. You quickly looked down at the screen and blankly stared before it disappeared again. You were a photographer.
Well… You took a course at university to be a creative photographer but ended up being a crime scene photographer. You also worked alongside Sherlock and John. The two were very famous in the media, Sherlock was a ‘consulting detective’ whilst John was a blog writer and wrote about the two. Sherlock said you were the best photographer he’s ever seen and regularly uses your photos for evidence. John also uses your photos on his blog. It has given you quite good rep in the past.
But you were just working alone this morning. Sherlock and John were caught up with a particular man called Moriarty.
ok I don’t do non-magic au’s enough but here’s one.
Harry and Draco take the tube to work at different times every day.
One morning, while waiting for the tube Harry spots a board advertisement with a large Hashtag on it and for the laugh he decides to put a circle in it like the game ‘noughts and crosses’ (tic-tac-toe for americans yikes)
Later, Draco spots the same board and puts a cross in it.
Like this, Harry and Draco add another nought or cross to the board every day without physically seeing eachother.
Until one particular morning Harry sees the game was a tie and there was a note next to it Meet 3pm. We’ll settle this differently - Cross
Draco sees Harry walking towards the Board. “Nought?” “Cross?”
Obviously Draco wanted to meet him to beat him at something but heck nobody told him Nought was hot.
Working desk job means exactly this: apartment, tube, workplace, tube, apartment. It’s hard to find sunlight anymore, but he doesn’t think he minds: maybe he’s already used to this. It’s been longer than he cares to remember.
He spends about two hours a day on the tube - not much compared to the amount of time he spends in his booth at work, but he doesn’t really register those eight hours. It’s like his mind switches itself off the moment he arrives to work and leaves him running on muscle memory alone. Time operates the same way when he’s at home, so by now maybe he’s only really conscious during the two hours on the tube.
Sometimes he stays back on the tube past his stop. Sometimes until it reaches the end of the line. Sometimes he takes the tube with the intention of going somewhere specific, but then just sits there as his destination flies past him into the dark tunnel he’s just passed. Sometimes he goes down into the stop, just to hear the quiet again.
Sometimes he sees maintenance doors somewhere in the tunnels, and for no reason he keeps their locations in mind.
Sometimes the tube takes a turn that he doesn’t recognize, and he feels his heart beating faster all of a sudden. He would stare at the railway through the window pane, counting the seconds, until the tube runs past a corner he knows, or until he reaches his destination. Those moments still happen to him after two years of taking the tube to go… anywhere, really. He thinks he has the whole map learned by heart by now, but the underground keeps proving him wrong.
There’s a community online for tube dwellers. He doesn’t know any of the dozen of members, online or offline, but he has come by some of them on other forums before. They don’t seem to be of any particular profile: there are men, there are women, ranged from 20 to maybe older than 50. The posts are few and far between, but some of them detail everything reachable by the tube. There are things even he doesn’t know.
He screenshots some of the posts and keeps the photos in a separate folder, for no particular reason.
The community hasn’t had a new activity for about three months by now. The members call themselves Rats. He checks through some of their personal pages on that site; the ones he checks have all been abandoned.
Maybe they’re tired of the lack of sunlight in the tube, he thinks on the way to work. The tube sways and trembles quietly, its hum fills the air. Humans aren’t made for the underground afterall.
concept of something vaguely formed in my head. I call it Rats of Spice City.
Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Your Last Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color
Warnings: Cursing, nothing else really. Please let me know if I missed anything
Summary: After being in an abusive relationship, you have been able to turn your life around thanks to the help of the team. But when you have to go back to your ex for some of your things, some shit goes down.
Author’s Note: So this is my first Star Trek piece and I’m super fuckin nervous about it. I’m not a huge Trekkie, but I am a fan of the newer films. Those are what I base my fics off of unless stated otherwise. But yeah, I hope you enjoy!
If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces (All Works, Specific Fandoms, or Specific Multi-Parts), please let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!
You reported to Scotty a little later than you thought, but you went to work nonetheless. Scotty was surprised to see you back so soon, but he didn’t see too much harm in it. The only injury he knew about what the one of your hand from yesterday’s accident with the knife. Even though he let you work, he wasn’t okay with giving you too much to do. He didn’t want to run the risk of you injuring yourself again while your hand was still wrapped up.
It was about halfway through the workday for you. You were in a Jefferies Tube working on a sensor. Scotty was going to help you out when he realized that he had forgotten one of his welding tools back in the workshop. You decided to just go ahead and work on it until he came back.
You were about to finish undoing the last bolt when your comm went off. You didn’t even look at who was calling, you just figured it was Scotty letting you know he was on his way back. Placing the comm in between your good shoulder and your ear, you answered while still focusing on the sensor.
“Where the hell are you?!” Leonard wasn’t yelling, but his voice had an intensity that you hadn’t heard before. You knew he was upset. Very upset.
I got this request from @amanda13parker this is actually a plot she had in her mind and asked me to write and I was more than happy to do this. The character and plot was her, I literally just filled in words, thank you for letting me do this for you, love 🖤
I never wanted to be here, but I am and as the time passes I think I sort of like it, like him.
I’m a scientist, was, I don’t know, maybe I’m a mad scientist now.
I used to try and create cures in a white lab and now I’m under The Jokers house in a basement creating deadly viruses.
I’ve come to find out, I’m good at both.
He came after me a few times and I rejected him, not in my best interest, the man doesn’t take no for an answer. The next time he came down to the lab he killed everyone there, except me. He had his men blindfold me and drag me to a van, it was freezing outside, I remember that much.
He didn’t do much torturing though, he knew I needed to remember everything, I needed to know what I was doing and I needed my focus.
In a sense I’m a prisoner but I wouldn’t leave given the option.
I live here, upstairs in the room next to his, which at times is not that quiet and I’ve had nights where thinking of him, him and me, I’m not so quiet either.
The Joker, Mr. J is what he prefers from me, has made passes at me, at least that’s what it seems like. Even though he’s like that with just about everyone.
When he comes into the lab I don’t let him touch anything and he respects that but he has to have his hands on something and that’s usually my waist.
He stands behind me as I’m in a full white lab coat and he sets his hands lightly on my waist, I can feel the cool temperature of his hands through the coat and through my slip underneath.
Since I realized I might have something for this green haired man I never go a day without something black or something lace underneath my coat with a white slip over it. When he touches me the sensation is times ten just knowing I’m ready for him at any time, but I would never tell him that.
“What do we have here.” The sound of his cane and heavy feet startle me and I almost drop one of the glass tubes.
“Just some lab work Mr. J. Just a casual Friday.” I smirk but keep my eyes focused on my work.
He runs his hands above my work, being careful to not touch anything, I watch him from the corner of my eye till he makes his way behind me.
‘Again, he’s going to do this again. It’s such a tease and I get so frustrated.’ I’m yelling at him in my mind. I know what he’s capable of and I know what I’m capable of.
He’s got his ways without me but he’s also got a lot of ways with me.
He’s hands rest on my waist again, the feeling sending a chill through my body. A breath leaves my lips as he leans over my shoulder, I can smell him, I can almost taste him.
“What if we switch up casual Friday doll.” His voice is a low whisper in my ear and I can’t help but press my thighs together.
“What, uh did you have in mind Mr. J?” I swallow hard after the words come out.
He lets a hum out in my ear and his hands move up my waist, my hands hold onto the metal table I’m working on. He doesn’t say a word as he presses his hips towards me and I can feel how hard he is.
It’s usually a touch and go with him, this is different. My knee gives out as he presses against me and he catches me by grabbing me tighter.
“When was the last time?” He purrs.
I know what he’s asking but I’m finding it hard to find my voice, I swallow hard again and let out a deep breath as he presses his knee between my legs behind me.
“With someone, before I came here.” Which was over two years ago, a shaky breath leaves my lips as his knee slips further up.
He grabs my lab coat and lifts it enough so his knee can fit between my legs, he puts his hands on he metal table next to mine and he lifts his knee.
“You’re fucking soaked.” He groans in my ear.
He takes one hand off the table and moves my hair from my shoulder and gently kisses the skin there, he grazes his metal grill against my neck and bites my shoulder softly. My knuckles are white from holding onto the table so hard, my stomach is already swirling.
He lifts his knee so it’s pressing against my center and his hands go back next to mine as he grinds his knee up into me, I can feel his hard dick pressed up against me each time he moves up.
“F-fuck.” The word barley comes out, my mouth hung open from the feeling, its overwhelming.
I begin slowly moving my hips against him and I let out a moan, my knees feel weak already, my heart is pounding and I’m already close to my climax.
He presses his lips to my ear and growls, he holds himself pressed against me and flexes his dick and I let out a slight whimper. I grind on his leg, my hips pushing further back like I need more of him, I have no rhythm and no form because I’m already so close to coming on his leg, I can feel the jean fabric against my thighs and his heavy breathing in my ear.
I can’t take it any longer and I let out a loud moan as my body moves with each wave of ecstasy that rushes over me, my breathing rigid. My legs are weak and I’m holding myself up mostly by my arms as my hips slowly rock on his leg, letting me enjoy each and every small and big wave that comes through.
My head falls forward as his knee leaves from between my legs, I can feel myself dripping down my thighs and I let out a deep breath.
“We’re not done baby girl.” He grabs my wrist and tosses me against the wall in the basement, my head hitting the wall first.
“What that he’ll, Mr. J!” My legs still weak as I fall the the ground, my hand dabs the part of my head that was hit and my fingers have blood on them.
I go to stand up, using the wall as support but I’m brought back down as he kicks my legs out from under me, I let out a small scream as I fall again, the spot where his foot hit is throbbing, tears are making their way up but I fight them down. He comes over and laughs, that infamous cackling laugh in my face and grabs my hair pulling me to my feet.
“I’ve been wanting to fuck you for so long.” He growls and he presses my chest up against the wall. His hand moving from my hair to the center of my back.
My mind is so torn, the last time he hit me was in the beginning when I was leaning the rules, I must of done something wrong but I’m not paying attention to that right now, I’ve been wanting this, him, for a long time now.
He pulls my lab coat off by grabbing the collar from behind and ripping it down, the buttons don’t stand a chance.
He presses his dick up against me again and I moan, wanting him, needing him.
His hand reaching around my throat as his other hand unfastens his pants, I feel him, his warm dick against the back of my thigh.
“Whats this? Were you waiting for me?” He rolls his head back and pulls a knife out from
His shirt and cuts my slip, the tip of his knife leaving a red trail down my spine.
Another deep breath and slight moan comes from my lips, I hear the knife get dropped and he tears the lace underwear off from the back and drops them by the knife.
I pressed his tip though my slit by pressing my hips back, and I’m digging my nails into the basement wall in anticipation.
The anticipation doesn’t last long as he moves behind me and thrust his hips hard and I let out a scream, he doesn’t wait for me to adjust to pick up his pace, his hand in my hair extending my neck as far as it will go back.
After a few seconds I do finally adjust to him, I can hear how wet I am with his every thrust that only seems to get harder. My screams and groans turn into loud moans of need for more. He’s relentless, the sound of his hips hitting my ass grow louder, and my nails are cracking as I dig them harder into the wall.
“Don’t come you fucking slut! I hear you at night, I know exactly how long you can last.” He pulls my head back by my hair till my back is arched and my head is resting on his shoulder.
A wave is already going through me from his words, the hair on my arms is standing up and I let out another scream, this time it’s his name.
He doesn’t hesitate, he goes faster, I’m trying to keep my footing but my hips against the wall is my only support. My stomach is rolling and my mind is going hazy as my eyes close and my hips get pressed harder into the wall.
I hear him shuffle in his shirt and he pulls out a smaller knife, he digs this one into my exposed shoulder and carved a J in it, slowly.
It’s a combination of screams and groans, the pain adding to the fire I feel in my body, I can smell the blood from my shoulder and realize it is deeper than I thought.
He growls and licks the new carved letter and it stings and I cry out while he laughs behind me and only goes harder.
My mind trying to make sense of everything, the mixed pain in my shoulder and swirling in my stomach, the way he threw me and the words he’s said have my whole body in shambles.
I don’t have to say a word and I feel him slow down as his dick twitches inside me, the sensations taking me far over my climax, I take it as a sign and I clench around him, wanting to bring my head forward but I can’t, I moan his name again and again as I reach my climax and come back down slowly.
He steps back from me and I stumble to the ground, my head spinning and my stomach still giving off a flexing feeling.
“You’re so easy.” He laughs, adjusting himself in his pants, “But you’re so fucking good.” He groans and palms himself.
He walks out of the basement and leaves me on the floor. I lean my head against the wall and waist a few minutes before getting up, I put on what’s left of my lab coat and find some safety pins to hold it together the best I can.
I go back to working, knowing some of these chemicals can’t be left out too long before they start effecting me.
I clean up the lab slowly, my legs take a few minutes to adjust and my knees still give out once or twice but I finally walk up the stairs and look around before running into my bedroom.
I hear Mr. J next door, I can’t make out the words but he sounds upset. I rinse off in the shower connected to my room and change into a small black dress for dinner.
Mr. J requires me to dress up for dinner, even if he’s not here and eat every night at the dining room table, I hate it, but I do it .
I slip on a pair of red heels and walk down to the dinner table, I sit and wait, wondering if he will even be here tonight.
The cane gives him away first, I hear him walking down and he takes a seat next to me. After what happened, I can’t help but give him a smirk and I blush red.
“Don’t.” His hand comes across my face and then he grabs my chin tight and makes me look at him, my eyes watering, “Don’t think you’re anything special sweetheart.” He pushes my face away.
I put my hand to my face and a few tears fall down my cheek but I catch myself and sit up straight, “Just kill me Mr. J, if you’ve got nothing else for me, if I’m nothing to you after all this time,” I stand up and slam the glass plate against the table, smashing it into pieces between my hands, “Then do it.” I lean in close to his face and spit.
I grab a piece of the broken plate and walk back into my bedroom. I suppress the tears and push them back down to boil.
Mr. J and I have had two years together, we have had a lot of late nights together, he’s told me things and I don’t think he meant to but he did and he never took them back. He’s never had to threaten me to keep quiet, he knows I’m devoted to him, to my work.
His sexual passes were slim but the passes of him caring about me were there.
He’s been protective of me, killing guards because they try getting a little too close, making sure I’m well taken care of, he has a hard time asking if I need anything so instead he gets me everything. He’s taken me out, his hand never leaving my back, his eyes never leaving me.
I’ve helped him sober up after many drunk nights where he’s spilled secrets I’d take with me to my grave, he’s more complex than he leads on to be.
I know he can’t say he loves me, I don’t know if I would even call it love from his end but it’s something. I know he feels something.
I curl up in my bed, laying on top of the blankets and holding the piece of plate under the pillow. My eyes are heavy and I let them close.
“I can’t live without loving you.”
Those are the words I woke up to, Mr. J’s arm around me and his head resting on the pillow behind me. I let out a sigh and put my hand over his.
“You don’t need to say anything else.” I keep my voice a whisper.
“I do though.” His words are soft but I feel the head of his pistol against the back of my head.
I can’t help but let a few tears fall, he can’t live without loving me, so he would rather live without someone to love.
He’s so much sicker than people think.
“Just let me go.” I whisper, wanting out of his arms.
“I am.” His voice is lower.
“You’re such a selfish motherfucker.” I let a few more tears fall and take a deep breath as I hear him cock the gun.
“I love you Amanda.” The gun goes off.
It’s silent, until his own screams echoing though the house, my blood spread across his face and the bedroom. He kisses the J he carved into my shoulder hours ago. Pulling my lifeless body closer to him he whispers 'sorry’ over again and again.
He won’t ever admit to making a mistake but he understands the saying “You don’t know what you have till it’s gone.” on a deeper level now.
And Gotham will suffer from his guilty conscience till his last breath.
Here you are, @pokeharvest - Ooh, you should write a Scotty one where the reader is in engineering and names all the little parts of the ship, and at first Scotty is like “woah and people think I’m nuts about the Enterprise” but then he finds himself joining in on it, confusing everyone else
Word Count: 2007
Author’s Note: I took a few liberties with your request. I hope you enjoy it! PS, TOS Enterprise is approximately ⅓ the size of AOS Enterprise. Despite the fact that my blueprints allow for 250 crew on the Enterprise, TOS Bones once said there was 430-ish people on the Enterprise, so there’s obviously some wiggle room in interpreting size. That means AOS Enterprise could have a crew of 750-1200, depending, but I couldn’t find a definitive answer. Also, aside from size, no new specs on AOS Enterprise. So I had to do a little faking. The swimming pool and bowling alley are totally on the blueprints I have of TOS Enterprise though, they just have nothing really to do with the work of an engineer. Also, I hope I didn’t vilify poor Appleton too much. I’ve been dealing with a bully at work, and it just… bubbled over into the story. P.S. The best part of this was trying to find a song about how currents work, and re-discovering School House Rock’s Electricity.
“Mr. Scott, this ship is huge. I’m worried I’m going to get lost,” one of the other newly assigned grads blinked her eyelashes in a show of wide-eyed innocence that made you want to gag. Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer on the U.S.S. Enterprise, quirked an eyebrow and turned to face her.
“Aye, lass. She’s a little over 700 metres in length -”
“725, sir,” you interrupted. You couldn’t help yourself. You’d spent most of your last year at the Academy fantasizing about being assigned to the fleet’s flagship. Studying the Enterprise specs had been your geeky little secret hobby. Stepping off the shuttle onto her had felt like coming home. There was nothing out of place. It looked exactly as you’d imagined, you suspected largely in part thanks to the handsome Scotsman standing at the head of your Engineering bay orientation. His blue eyes flicked over to assess you, and the hint of a smile lit his face.
“I love the enthusiasm of new grads,” he grinned. “Thank you, Ensign?”
“Y/L/N,” you provided. Ensign Eyelashes glared at you for the rest of the orientation, obviously angry that you’d distracted Mr. Scott’s attention.
Here is the review my pet, @lizzies-pet, wrote for The Vice we recently received.
My wife got this from @lockedinlust. The shipping was fast and packaging was nice.
I have only tried a few chastity cages so far. We started with a CB6000S and then tried some metal ones from eBay. I did not care for the CB6000S for a couple of reasons. First, it was fairly easy to pull out of the tube. Second, I work outside on a daily basis, with no access to a proper toilet. So using the bathroom was a big problem with it. I believe this could be remedied by a better fit. My flaccid size varies quite a bit and pretty often, so I found myself always having to keep some cotton swabs in my pocket to help me get everything lined up and in place when I needed to. And third, hygeine. Being outside all day in the heat, it just proved to be too much of a problem keeping it clean.
I was pretty pleased with The Vice, since it is fairly similar to the CB6000S. It is definitley more secure. The Vice portion that clamps around your cock and locks onto the pin prevents pulling out. I tried and decided it wasn’t worth the discomfort that it would cause. Even if you did manage to pull out, I don’t know how you would get back into the device. The Vice portion made its presence known, but not in a painful way. It made the whole device feel just a little tighter and actually more comfortable in my opinion.
As far as the urination and hygiene issues, however, they are pretty much the same as the CB6000S for me. While The Vice did prevent some of the moving around inside the tube that I experienced with the CB6000S, it was still an issue. And the smaller ventilation holes on The Vice made getting everything back in place a little more difficult. They also made washing the device a little more difficult as well. It’s not impossible by any means. I have the small squirt bottles and plastic/foam swabs to be able to get inside the device and clean while it is on.
The Vice is a surprisingly comfortable device to wear, though. I was a little concerned with the hinged rings, but they didn’t give me any issues. The kit includes enough rings, spacers, and vice clamps to fit almost anyone I would guess. The only thing I wish was different as far as size goes, is the tube itself. The Vice is about the size of a CB6000. I would like to see it offered in smaller sizes, like the CB6000S or maybe even one just a bit smaller, too.
In short, if you have used a CB6000 or CB6000S and enjoyed it, but just wanted something a little more comfortable and secure, then you will most likely find this to be a nice device. This is not a negative review of the product. As far as quality and comfort goes, it is a very well made device with plenty of sizing options included. It just does not fit me or my lifestyle as well as the smaller and more open metal device that I am currently using. It certainly is a secure device, though. And I would not hesitate to buy my next device from @lockedinlust.
If anyone is interested in purchasing one, you can use the coupon code JOESGODDESS to receive $20 off your purchase.
“Alright dads, place your left hand over mom’s and take a deep breath,” Mrs. Devereaux instructed in a soothing voice. “Hold it for three, two, one, and…. let it go.”
Gemma let out a deep breath behind me along with all of the dads in the room. Our fingers were intertwined over my stomach and she had been holding back giggles for the entire class, despite my pleas for her to be serious.
“Good, good. Now, if I can have the mommies tilt your heads back into dad’s chest, just below the pectorals,” Mrs. Devereaux said with a smile.
“I think my bosom is in the way, Tasha,” Gemma choked out. “Sorry for being a terrible dad.”
I hope you like it! Requests are open and please don’t hesitate to let me know what you thought of this two-part story.
Picture is, once again, not my own. Wish it were, though.
“How much did you say it was?” I had asked while I’d let my eyes wander over the empty walls of the kitchen. The estate agent had named me the price for the apartment and informed me once more about how it came with the couch, table, bed, wardrobes and chairs included.
“There are even plates, cups and glasses in those cupboards over there!” she’d exclaimed and opened the kitchen cabinet located above the sink. It contained three, blue mugs.
“Great,” I’d smiled and told the woman that I’d take it.
That had been a month ago. Now I was standing in the exact same spot I had stood when I’d made the decision to leave my former home, two bags placed by my feet and several cartoon boxes in the car downstairs. The flat I’d gotten was nice, but it wasn’t a home. I had spent the past month preparing everything for my move; informing the post about my new location, printing out routes I could take with the tube to reach work and making a list of the grocery stores nearby. Part of me had known that I only did all that to stall time and that I could have moved into my apartment without having the estate agency giving me one final call. But I hadn’t been able to bring myself to it. Deep down I’d never stopped hoping he’d come back to me and would make up for anything that had ever given me a reason to leave. Now it was too late.
I missed him. I questioned if leaving him had been a good idea every day. Staring at the bags at my feet and the empty kitchen where I’d cook my first supper-for-one meal tonight, made my heart ache and my eyes water. Still, there was no going back for me now. I switched off my phone and began helping the few friends I’d asked to aid with my move, bring up the boxes.
“You’re sure you’re fine?” my friend asked, concern in her eyes. “You’re welcome to eat at Aiden and my place tonight.”
I shook my head and declined her offer. It was better to get used to it as quickly as possible. After they left I went to the Sainsbury’s across the street and bought everything I needed to make food that would make me happy. Once back in my flat I began throwing everything I’d bought on top of a pizza dough and shoved the heavily topped pizza into the oven. After, I changed into comfortable cloths and that was it. I had nothing left to do and finally it started to sink in just how lonely I was. My teeth pulled at my bottom lip and I allowed my body to fall back on the mattress, shielding my face with both hands. The silence ruling my flat was making my ears ring and all I wanted was cry, any appetite long gone. The expression on Harry’s face when he’d watched me pack my things and organize everything was still engraved into my mind. The green of his eyes had been swimming in tears and his mouth kept closing and opening as if he’d constantly debated with himself whether or not he should say anything. I remembered noticing how he’d kept his fists clenched tightly. I remembered how every move I made felt heavy, as if my body wanted to refuse my demands. Anything so that it could stay with Harry. But I’d forced myself and left him anyway. I’d made my bed and now I had to lay in it.
It had been two nights ago when Harry had broken down by my feet after I told him about my decision. He’d spent all morning of the following day trying to change my mind, promising me to lay the world to my feet should that be what I wanted. He hadn’t understood that all I’d wanted was not a grand gesture, but the simple ones. I wanted him to be kind to me again, inform me of his whereabouts if he stayed out longer after work, and most of all I’d wanted him to tell me he loved me. I didn’t want the world by my feet, I wanted our world. Our life as partners. But because he didn’t seemed to understand that, I knew that leaving him for good was the only choice left, that would save our happiness.
And yet I missed him so much I felt as if my heart would burst. I didn’t even notice that I’d started crying before my cheeks were wet and sticky and my nose having trouble to breath properly.
“Not again,” I whispered to myself and brushed the sleeves of my shirt over the skin. My body flinched when a loud knock resounded through the flat. I hesitated to roll off the bed as I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up, patted across the room and to the locked door. The person knocked again, this time with more force.
“Who is it?” I called through the wood, my voice much weaker than what I’d intended it to be.
I heard a loud sigh, as if from relief, before the person outside answered.
My heart fell to my stomach and my mouth went dry. I coughed and brushed my sweaty palms against the fabric of my sweats.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice trembling in anticipation.
Harry cleared his throat. “Checking up on you?”
It sounded more like a question, much like he was questioning what had made him come to my flat himself. My fingers shook as I unlocked the door and I breathed in before pulling it open. Though I’d only left him this morning, the relief of seeing him was overwhelming. I’d missed him so much even if our separation hadn’t been longer than a few hours, I had to restrain myself from wrapping him into my arms and never letting go. Harry was dressed in a loose white shirt, the same he’d been wearing this morning after his shower and a pair of dirty jeans. His short hair was disheveled and his eyes red and puffy. Though he was undeniably beautiful, he did not look good. Harry bit his bottom lip as his own gaze traveled down my body, a frown decorating his forehead. A flush rose to my cheeks and I shifted, suddenly self conscious under his hard stare.
“You weren’t replying to my messages and you didn’t answer my calls either,” Harry explained when his eyes moved back up to find mine, yet the moment they locked together he looked away. " Hope you don’t think I’m invading you,“ he murmured, his eyes falling from my face down to stare at my feet, "know you want to be alone. But I was worried.”
“It’s fine, but-”
“There have been three break-ins in this neighborhood in the last two months, one of them just across the street!”
Harry looked at me with wide eyes and frowned when I didn’t react to his news. His information confused me as I didn’t really know what to do with it.
“Okay,” I began, “and?”
“The park nearby is known for practically hosting street fights,” Harry went on, his voice slightly risen and desperation in his tone, “and the tube down the street has the reputation of being filled with pickpockets.”
“If there’s a fight in a park, wouldn’t it be called a park-fight?”
Harry rolled his eyes at my question and took a deep breath. “Don’t poke fun of me.”
I smiled and leaned against the doorframe. He clenched and unclenched his hands, his tense shoulders twitching. I found myself in awe of him, his nervous appearance an unusual sight. My arms crossed over my chest.
“Harry, almost every neighborhood in London has a bad reputation once you dig for it online. That’s how it is in most big cities. My phone was off, that’s why I didn’t reply, not because something happened to me.”
I tried to give him a reassuring smile, knew however that my face most likely looked twisted.
“I really appreciate your concern for me, though,” I added, trying to make him feel better, just as I always did.
He gave me a small smile and nodded before shrugging. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright. M'gonna go.”
Harry turned to leave but stopped in his tracks when I said his name. He turned back to me and his eyes locked with mine with an intensity I had never found in his gaze before. He stood slightly hunched over and his skin was pale. My insides clenched at the sight of the man I loved so much, looking completely and utterly not like himself. I released a breathless laugh and rubbed my eyes before looking at him again, realizing how ridiculous it was what I wanted to say next.
“I know that me getting a flat was about us moving on without each other, but…” I hesitated as I tried to find the right words. “I made pizza. Quite a lot actually, too much to eat alone and maybe you…”
Harry reached me within three strides and before I could even form the words of protest he had wrapped both of his arms around me tightly. His face was buried in my neck and his lips pressed against the skin there. I gasped at his sudden closeness, yet I did not push him away. My body soaked up his warmth and when I wrapped my own arms around his neck so tightly he released a gasp, I felt good for the first time since I’d stepped out of what was now his house.
“Please,” I heard him whisper faintly.
Our relationship was so confusing, most of all because it felt as if it still existed. The night that had been supposed to be me setting up everything, but that would really have been the night I spent alone and miserable eating pizza in bed, now became the night I spent sitting beside Harry on a barstool by the counter, eating pizza in silence.
“Want more?” I asked timidly and he nodded, taking another slice.
“I like that you added the pepperoni,” he mumbled, “I taught you to that.”
I smiled and nodded, remembering how we’d argued about it being a legit pizza topping or not. Though I had claimed that the taste of it almost got lost in the tomato sauce, I’d still packed some into my shopping cart earlier without realizing it.
“It wore off on me, I guess.”
Harry nodded and took another bite. I watched him eat, my eyes traveling from his hair down to his hands. He always reminded me of the stars in the sky, once I’d really payed attention, it was hard to look at anything else. This was weird. The whole situation. And what was I even doing?
“This is odd, isn’t it?”
Harry set down his pizza slice and brushed off his hands with a napkin. “Yeah, it kinda is.”
“I shouldn’t be having dinner with my ex-boyfriend.”
Harry sighed and looked away. “Please don’t call me that. I don’t like it, whether if it’s true or not.”
His eyes filled with tears and I felt guilt eat away at my insides.
“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” I said quietly and reached out to rest my hand on his arm before quickly pulling away again. Though we’d held each other tight only minutes ago, touching his skin now felt like touching a hot pan.
“No, don’t be, Y/N. I got to get used to it. I am your ex, after all,” he replied.
“Yes, but, I want us to be alright, still. I mean… we didn’t end things because of lacking love for each other, right?”
“No, we didn’t,” Harry assured me, looking back to me. “Absolutely not. I’m still in love with you.”
“Harry,” I whispered and shook my head, pleading him not to go on. It was him who reached out this time to squeeze my hand gently.
“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled gently. “Are you done?”
He took my plate and got up, walking to the sink. I watched as he began cleaning them, the image somehow familiar, even though it was a gesture he hadn’t committed in a long time and the environment was one he’d never been in.
“I’m in love with you, too, Harry,” I spoke from behind him, the words somehow easy to say when he wasn’t looking at me. I noticed his body tense and his movements halting. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t.”
“What happened to us?” Harry whispered, still facing away from me.
“I don’t know.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I nodded. “You said so.”
He turned around and walked back to where I was still sitting by the counter. He set his hands to rest on the cold marble stone and leaned himself down a bit.
“If we both still love each other, then why doesn’t this work? Why do we need to separate?” he asked me.
He’d asked this question a lot in the past two days and I could never find any other answer than what I repeated to say now.
“Because you left me. And you will leave me again the moment you think I’m tied to your side tight enough, to accept whatever it is you want to do to me.”
He nodded and sighed. “Fair enough. I understand why you believe that. Given you enough reason to, haven’t I?”
“Yes, you have.”
“But you left without saying goodbye,” Harry said, his face suddenly falling at the thought, “Do you know what that was like for me? I come out of the kitchen only to find you gone already.”
I bit my lip. “I didn’t want to see the look on your face. The one you’re giving me now.”
“Yeah, well, deal with it,” Harry replied almost brusquely, “just the way I’ve got to deal with being at fault for breaking both of our hearts.”
“Don’t come into my flat to pick a fight, Harry,” I warned.
We stared at each other hard. My breathing was rapid and he looked tense. His face was the first to crack and before I realized it we were both laughing, our heads finally done with trying to make sense of the situation.
“Oh god,” he chuckled, “how odd that sounds, doesn’t it? I’m in your flat!”
“I know,” I smiled, “this is so weird!”
“It’s your first night in your own place and I’m already barging in.”
“Hey,” I protested gently and nudged his shoulder, “I invited you to stay.”
“Still,” Harry argued, a smile still pulling at the corner of his lips, “it’s fucking ridiculous.”
I remembered picking out a flat with him as clear as if it was only a day ago, instead of a year. He’d been so excited and found every apartment we’d gone to look at perfect.
“S'long as m'living with you, it’ll be perfect no matter where the bathroom is or how big the kitchen, my love.”
“That’s flattering, Harry, but please pay attention. We can’t live in a flat with no windows in the bedroom.”
I’d pinched his cheek, he’d whine and in the end he’d left it for me to choose where we would live. He fell in love with the flat the moment he saw how happy I was with it. I remembered us spending the afternoon setting up the couch, only to start kissing which then lead to more before we lay cuddled together and exhausted on the floor, wrapped up only in a fluffy blanked. All the memories we shared made a warm feeling tingle in every part of my body and had me fall in love with him even more.
I was brought back from my thoughts when a warm hand covered my own fingers.
“Look,” Harry began. “I get it. You need this distance and I will learn to respect it. But please, let’s just… not end.”
“What are you saying?” I asked.
Harry shook some of the hair that had fallen into his face away and cleared his throat, picking the right words.
“I think you and I are meant for each other,” he stated, his eyes locked on me as if he waited for me to confirm his words. I nodded. There was no way that could be doubted.
“Maybe you living here without me will do us good,” he said, his forehead set into a frown again, as if he still tried to make sense of his own proposition in his own head, “but only if there still is an ‘us’.”
I took a minute to consider his words.
“I don’t know if that will solve our problems.”
Harry shrugged. “Our problems are idiotic. And mostly due to a lack of communication.”
“Hm,” I hummed, “we could talk more.”
“We could,” he agreed. “With you not living with me anymore, we’d both be forced to put more effort into it. Prove to each other how serious we are about this.”
“And maybe you could come over sometimes,” I suggested timidly.
Harry nodded, standing up straighter and still looking at me like he waited for more.
“And perhaps we could start going out every now and again.”
“We will start were we began,” he promised, “and this time we’ll go slow and pay attention to each other.”
“You mean you would go slow and pay attention to me. I did all that right from the beginning, honey.”
Harry rolled his eyes. “'Course. That’s what I meant.”
We stared at each other. His oh so familiar eyes sparkled at me with so much hope it made my cheeks flush.
“Everyone will think we’re mental,” I spoke.
Harry nodded, yet he seemed completely indifferent to it. “Screw them. They don’t know us.”
My feet touched the floor as I slipped form my seat. I walked around the counter until I reached him and wrapped both arms around him. The gesture surprised him, but his own arms held me to him tightly without hesitation.
“I just can’t shake you,” I whispered against the skin of his jaw.
“Wouldn’t let you if you could,” he replied and pressed his lips to my temple.
We didn’t say anything further, thinking that this separation may be what we’d need to find each other and be close again.
Hope you liked it! I wanted them to somehow find each other again, but I don’t think falling right back into a happy relationship would have been very realistic. Please let me know what you thought of it and should you have a request, I’d be happy to give it a go!
I’m so happy about any like/reblog/follow and want to thank anyone who takes the time to read my writings. Thank you!!