tube shape

experimental error (pt. 2)

pt. 1

→pairing: taehyung | reader

→genre: best friend au | smut

→word count: 6,002


The next time you saw Taehyung, things were not the same.

Maybe it was just you being weird—god, why did you have to be so awkward?—but every time you made eye contact, even when you were with a group of friends, all you could do was picture the way he had been staring at you, his intense, lust-filled gaze locking with yours as he rocked into your frame, leaning his forehead against yours and never, ever breaking the eye contact that had played a crucial role in sending you over the edge. The memory would hit you all at once, and suddenly you would be unable to look at him again for the rest of the day.

If he was feeling anything even remotely similar to what you were, he definitely didn’t show it. He continued to talk to you as if nothing had happened, laughing and joking like you usually did until eventually you would get annoyed. Why isn’t this affecting you like it’s affecting me?! you wanted to scream, but you knew you couldn’t. After all, you had told him from the very beginning that you wouldn’t make things weird. He was the one who didn’t want to do this, and you convinced him; you couldn’t help but wonder if this was all just one huge, irreversible mistake.

But then you reminded yourself of why you wanted to do this in the first place: you had only had sex twice with two different guys before Taehyung, and both times were completely miserable. You couldn’t figure out how sex was supposed to be fun; you’re just laying there getting a dick shoved into you, no? But then you realized, maybe the problem was you. How was one supposed to be “good at sex”; isn’t it all just the same thing? How is one person better in bed than another? And it was these simple questions that sparked fear into your brain, starting off as a flickering flame and soon growing into a giant forest fire of worry and self-doubt. You needed answers, needed to find out the truth before the next guy you seriously liked came along; you didn’t want to mess up any future relationships by being boring between the sheets.

So that’s what prompted you to keep your mouth shut. That’s what prompted you to swallow whatever doubts you were having about this and go over to Taehyung’s again, knowing exactly what your time together would entail. You were ready for your second lesson.


“Okay, so I bought a few things for us to talk about.”

As soon as you walked into Taehyung’s room he immediately sat you down on the bed and pulled out an array of objects, anywhere from lube to anal beads, and you couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“What?” Tae frowned, obviously not receiving the reaction he expected.

“What is all of this?” You were still laughing, but when you looked up and realized that he wasn’t smiling, you quickly tried to hide your amusement with stifled grins.

“They’re sex toys!” He whined defensively. “Like look, here’s a dildo, and oh—here’s a cock ring.”

“A cock ring?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re gonna wear a cock ring?”

Taehyung looked down at the object before seeming to contemplate it in his mind. “Well, these are more for educational purposes—to show you what’s out there rather than for personal use.” He quickly placed it back down.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “I already know what’s out there, Tae. I don’t live under a rock.”

“Yeah, well toys are important during sex, so we’re discussing them,” he sighed with a plop on the bed. “Now this is an ovipositor. It deposits little alien eggs–”

“Wait, a what?” You leaned away, staring at the phallic-shaped tube incredulously.

“An ovipositor, pay attention.” He rolled his eyes with a huff. “It deposits these little gelatin eggs inside of you, and it’s meant to replicate the feeling of being impregnated by an alien!”

You stared back at him, shocked into silence, mouth hanging open in pure disbelief. “Tae, what the fuck are you into?!”

“I found it on this forum,” he quickly waved off your question before reaching over to his nightstand. “Here, this is one of the gelatin eggs–”

As soon as he dropped the slick, goopy, yellow ball resembling the shape of an egg in your hand, you immediately screamed and let it fall to the floor.

“Y/N! You’re supposed to keep those clean!”

“What the fuck Tae!” You yelled, wide eyes looking from the alien sex toy to your best friend and then back again. “How does that thing even work?!”

“There’s a hole at both ends,” Taehyung explained as calmly as one would discuss the weather, leaning in so he could show you the blue phallic tube. “See, this is where you insert the eggs one by one, and then that forces them up and out the top!”

You continued staring with a look of disgust on your face. “You’re really sick, you know that?”

“I thought you said you already knew what’s out there!” Tae countered defensively as you got up.

“Not being impregnated by an alien!” You whipped around to look at him again. “Who the fuck has heard of that?!”

He simply shrugged. “Guess you’re not as kinky as you thought.”

You shook your head as you looked down at the forgotten egg on the floor, debating on leaving if your problem was just going to be made fun of like this. “You know, Tae, this isn’t a joke to me. I put myself out there and came to you because I seriously–”

“Oh my god, we’re not using them!” He groaned with a roll of his eyes. “I just got it because I thought it’d be funny to show you! There’s an actual reason for all of this; here, come sit down.”

He was patting the spot next to him that you’d just gotten up from, blinking his eyes innocently and smiling one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen—one he always used to get what he wanted.

You crossed your arms and shook your head, this time in disbelief that you were actually entertaining one of his antics as you took your spot back on the bed, careful to avoid the alien dick as you did.

“Now, as I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted,” Taehyung glared at you, “sex toys are what makes a relationship fun and exciting, and can set apart the wild in bed from the snoozers. The kinkier, the better.” He held up the ovipositor with a wriggle of his brows.

You pressed your palm to your face, silently asking yourself why he was the one out of all your friends who you chose for these lessons.

“These are anal beads.” He held up the long string of black balls on his finger. “They can be used to–”

“No way, nuh uh,” you waved both hands at him, quickly shaking your head. “We’re not doing any butt stuff.”

He seemed surprisingly caught off guard by this. “Are you sure? Anal is a given way to make any sex life better.”

“Yes, Tae, I’m sure. No anal.”

The boy just shrugged before putting them down, this time picking up a small, thin, metallic looking object. “Now this is a Prince’s Wand, and it gets inserted into the male's–”

“Okay, you know what? I think I’m good on sex toys,” you immediately jumped up, lifting the objects in your arms and shoving them back into the drawer of his nightstand. “Why don’t we move onto the next part of the lesson?”

Taehyung looked offended at first before his eyes lit up. “Ooh, okay! The next part is sex positions.”

You nearly resisted the urge to smack yourself on the forehead.


45 minutes and 22 positions later, you were currently laying on the bed, your head and shoulders flat against the mattress while the rest of your body was up in the air, your legs bent so far back that they were touching the pillow behind you.

“I don’t really see how I’m supposed to… move in this position,” you called to Tae who was kneeling in front of you, attempting to move your hips which just made your body rock back and forth like the ball that it was shaped into.

“No, that’s my job,” your friend informed you, grabbing onto the back of your thighs which were pointed right at his face. “I move you up and down with the pace of my thrusts; see, you just roll a little! That’s why it’s called the butter churner.”

You glared up at him as he mimicked the movements. “I don’t see how this could at all be sexually pleasing,” you frowned as you put your legs back down and emerged from your ball. “It just seems like it would hurt my neck.”

“Well maybe, but what’s life without living on the edge a little?” He smirked before nudging you playfully.

You didn’t nudge back. “Do people actually do these sex positions?” You rested your elbow on your knee with a sigh. “The only ones I know of are missionary, doggy style, reverse cowgirl… all these others seem like ones that old people would use if they were scrambling to keep their marriage alive.”

He barked out a laugh before answering your question. “Not really, no. Not unless the sex is so bad that you need to start looking up new positions.”

You chuckled before growing silent. “Sex with me isn’t that bad… right?” You bit your lip and looked up at him with worried eyes.

“No!” Taehyung’s booming laughter filled the room as he hit your arm for good measure. “I’m talking about people who don’t move and basically act like they’re dead. No one wants that… unless necrophilia is your thing.”

“Gross!” You hit his arm back with a laugh, the sounds of amusement fading naturally into silence.

Tae looked at you before holding out his hand. “Come on, enough fooling around. Let’s get to the action, shall we?”

You felt your stomach roll as you took his outstretched hand, not sure of where he was going with this until he suddenly sat up against the bed frame and pulled you on top of him.

“O–oh.” Your eyes went wide at the abrupt action before grabbing onto his shoulders and adjusting your position on his lap, your knees bent on either side of his waist and your back straight so that you were straddling him.

Taehyung didn’t notice your awkward movements, or if he did, he didn’t say anything, because soon his lips were on yours and he was kissing you in a way that had all of the air whooshing from your lungs.

You nearly resisted the urge to push him away—you hadn’t been expecting that, the action still so foreign and unfamiliar to you with your best friend—but it didn’t take long for him to refresh your memory on why you went as far as you did with him last week.

Kissing Tae wasn’t the worst experience, you could say.

You were quick to recover from your initial surprise and started moving your lips back against his, his touch and taste slowly coming back to memory after you’d all but shoved the thoughts from your mind in an effort to suppress them. Though at the moment, you couldn’t begin to remember why—not when he already had your lungs gasping for breath and his hands climbing beneath your shirt.

His fervor was just another thing that came as a surprise to you compared to his timid attitude at the beginning of your last session, though you knew it really shouldn’t have; this was Taehyung you were talking about. He could befriend a total stranger in .25 seconds, much less work up the courage to seduce his best friend.

His enthusiasm did wonders to encourage you, though. Already you could feel your hesitation waning and your hunger growing as you moved your hands from his shoulders up to tangle in the soft locks of his matted hair, already tousled on his head from the extensive workout of sex positions (aka trying to figure out which limb went where) that he just put you through.

A few wandering hands, battling tongues and heavy breaths later, it wasn’t long until you felt them: his bucking hips, which contained the one thing that played an essential role in this arrangement in the first place, and it was pressing between your legs with each motion until you suddenly couldn’t take it any longer.

“If I wanted a lesson on making out, I would’ve just asked Jimin,” you abruptly pulled away to bark in an impatient tone; this was your unconventional way of telling him to hurry up, apparently.

Taehyung’s chest was rising and falling with his heavy breaths, his lips were red from the pressure that he used to kiss you, and his eyebrows were knitting together in confusion at your departure before he was suddenly rolling his eyes.

“God, you sure know how to ruin the mood.”

His words came out as a grumble though you could sense there was no true malice or hard feelings behind them. He quickly tore your shirt over your head which was then accompanied by your bra, and you almost made a remark about the speed at which he was moving but you bit your tongue. You had asked for this, after all.

“Get on your back.” His voice was firm now, more of an order than the playful whine that he would usually speak with, and so you had no other choice but to gulp down your protests and do as he said.

As soon as you were against the mattress and left exposed from the waist up with nothing but your nerves driving you forward, Tae’s fingers were on your zipper. “Do you mind if I take these off?” He grinned, a glint of mischief in his expression as he started undoing the button of your pants without waiting for an answer.

Your breath stayed lodged in your throat as you watched him, unable to make any movement from your spot against the mattress as he eased your legs out of their confinement. It was only with the realization that you had forgotten which pair of underwear you put on today that you lifted your head to look down out of curiosity.

“Oh my god,” you groaned out loud when you saw them, completely mortified as you squeezed your eyes shut and collapsed your head back against the pillow with a sigh of defeat.

“Frozen?” Taehyung stated in disbelief, staring down at your panties before looking up at you with wide eyes. “You have Frozen underwear?”

“I bought them when I was a little kid!” You groaned again, covering up your face with your hands and silently reprimanding yourself. You couldn’t believe today was the day you chose to wear these.

“Um, Frozen didn’t come out that long ago…”

“Shut up!” You shouted in exasperation before sitting up. “You’re ruining the mood!”

Me? You’re the one wearing Frozen underwear!” He shot back while trying to hide the giggles that were threatening to escape his lips.

“Whatever,” you scoffed, ignoring the embarrassment that inflamed your face as you fell back against the bed.

“Jeez, Y/N. Why can’t you just let it go,” Taehyung said, and this time he was unable to hold back as he burst into laughter at his own joke.

You groaned louder to drown him out. “I hate you,” you grumbled, fighting the smile tugging at your lips as you crossed your arms over your chest and stared off into the distance.

“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head at you cockily.

Oh no. You knew that look.

You quickly sat up and opened your mouth to protest when you suddenly felt a long, slender finger being pressed against the center of your clothed slit.

You instantly fell back against the mattress as a shudder ran straight through you. “Tae!” You scolded, gritting your teeth at him. The little shit.

“What is it, Y/N?” He asked innocently, peering down at you with an unsuspecting smile as he pressed his finger against you harder. “You were saying something?”

“I–” You fought to get your words out, but you couldn’t speak between the heavy breaths of air that escaped you as you felt him start to massage small, tight circles around your clit. “I–”

“You—you what?” He teased, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watched your writhing frame. “You hate me?” In one swift motion he pushed your panties to the side and swiped his cool finger against your now dripping wet core.

“Ah!” You moaned out, throwing your head back and arching your back as he found direct contact with your exposed clit.

“It sure doesn’t sound like you hate me,” he said, tauntingly swirling within your wetness and dragging mewls of desire from your throat. “It sounds like you like what I’m doing to you. Is that right?”

He kept dancing around your entrance, teasingly starting to dip his finger inside only to quickly pull it away again. You started to shake your head no, if only to withhold the satisfaction from him, but at this point your lust outweighed your pride.

“Please,” you whimpered.

His eyes sparkled even brighter at your plea, instantly shooting forward to hover over your body as his fingers lingered over where you wanted him the most, his face now inches from yours and studying your expressions closely.

“You have to say…” He paused, sticking out his bottom lip and looking up at the ceiling in thought. “Kim Taehyung is better than me at everything.”

“What?” You cried out before harshly jerking away from him. “No!”

“Oh? Is that so?” He raised both his eyebrows, peering down at you innocently as his fingers suddenly tore through your walls and entered inside of you.

Your mouth fell open into a frozen gasp, rendered completely speechless as he hooked his index finger before dragging it back out. A deep shudder ran through you as you watched him bring the finger up to his mouth before sucking it clean of your juices.

“You taste so good,” he marveled, eyeing you under heavy lids as he licked a stripe up his finger one more time with his enticingly pink tongue. “It would be a shame for it to go to waste.”

You were panting heavily now, but this time it was solely from the intoxicatingly lustful gaze he was giving you. “Tae, pl–”

“Ah ah,” he interrupted, shaking his head at you with a grin. “You know the magic words.”

You swear to god when this is over, you’re going to kill him.

“Kim Taehyung is better than me at everything!” You cried out desperately, and then the air was whooshing from your lungs as you felt his finger finally enter you again. “Oh my god,” you moaned in pleasure, gaping at the pure ecstasy that took over your body.

Taehyung watched you closely, his mouth in an open-smile and his eyes drinking up every single one of your reactions. It was only when you felt him pull away did you open your mouth to bark out a protest, but to your delight, you realized that he was just properly removing your Frozen underwear (which thankfully was not brought up to ruin the mood again) before returning to pleasuring you.

“More Tae,” you whimpered, completely tossing your pride aside as you all but begged for him. He was definitely going to give you shit for this later. “I need more.”

“Oh?” Taehyung simply cocked his head before obeying your words and inserting a second finger through your walls. “Already ready to be stretched out for my huge cock, huh?”

“God, would it kill you to not be a cocky prick for two seconds?” You couldn’t help but snap.

“With the way you’re moaning my name like that, yes, it really would.” There was a dark chuckle that escaped his lips as he said this, and it took everything in you not to rip his fingers out of you and shove them up his own ass. You might’ve, too, if it hadn’t been for the immense pleasure that was coursing through your veins and clouding your senses right now.

“I–I don’t s–see what your fucking problem i–is,” you barely managed to get out through the constant pumping of his digits.

“Why can’t you just stop being mean to me and enjoy the pleasure?” He groaned out. “God, it’s almost like you don’t want to feel good.”

You scoffed and opened your mouth to berate him some more, but suddenly he was inserting a third finger through your walls and all logical thought was instantaneously wiped from your mind.

“Oh fuck Tae!” You cried out, head thrown back and back arched as you basked in the onslaught of the sudden overwhelming pleasure he was inflicting on you. “Fuck, too much, too much!”

“Too much?” He repeated in confusion before pulling his fingers out and staring at the width of the three of them put together. “But my dick is way bigger than this!”

And?” You screeched. “We had sex one time, it’s not like my vagina is going to magically morph to your size!”

“The vagina is a muscle that contracts and forms around what’s inserted inside of it!”

You couldn’t believe your ears. “Where’s that damn cock ring?!

“Okay, okay, no need to be rash,” Taehyung was quick to calm you down, the fear evident in his eyes as he raised his hands in a settling manner. “Just… come here. Are you ready to fuck? We can fuck now. You can be on top if you want since I was last time.”

Your friend’s sudden cooperative attitude had your nerves calming a bit. There was even a hint of a smile on your face as you raised to your knees, able to feel the wetness sliding between your slick folds as you waited for Taehyung to take your spot on the bed so that you could climb on top.

“This is good variety,” he commented idly while you were busy straddling him. “Should we try one of the positions we tested earlier?”

The frightening memories of sex positions ranging anywhere from “downward dog” to “king cobra” flashed through your mind—images that you were sure were going to haunt your dreams for weeks. “No, that’s okay,” you quickly reassured him. “Let’s just stick to conventional methods for now since they’re the most common ones that I’ll most likely be doing with other guys.”

Taehyung stalled at your words for a moment before seeming to snap back into it and steadying your hips with his hands. “Do you got it?” He asked as you fiddled with his member outside your entrance. “Fuck I’m so hard right now… I can’t wait to be inside you.”

You suppressed the shiver that ran down your spine at his words and forced yourself from not jumping him right then and there. “Wait! Did you get condoms this time while you were out purchasing your weird sex toys?”

Taehyung’s lips formed into a small ‘o’ before he was sitting up and leaning over to the top drawer of his nightstand.

You shuttered when you caught a glimpse of the ominous ovipositor peeking out at you. “Seriously, how much did you even pay for that thing?” You were scoffing before you could keep your mouth shut. “Did you really get it just to show to me, or do you have plans of actually using it one day?”

Your friend only glanced back at you with a wriggle of his eyebrows and a creepy smirk on his lips. “Why, do you want to try it out?”

“No!” You nearly screeched.

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” he put his hands up in mock defense and shrugged. “You know, you’re coming off as a real kink shamer right now, Y/N.”

“Because I don’t want to have alien eggs deposited into my vagina?!”

Tae simply shrugged again before shutting the drawer—thankfully without the ovipositor—and ripping open the small condom packet. “Here, put it on for me would ya?”

You were too impatient to argue as you quickly snatched the rubber from his hands, not wasting any time in coaxing it on with your fingers before proceeding to slowly lower yourself onto his dick, knowing that the foreplay already left you with more than enough wetness to take him with ease.

“Fuck,” you cried out in a long, drawn out voice as a spike of pain shot throughout your lower region. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.”

“Are you okay?” You heard Taehyung ask, and if it wasn’t for the surprise that filled you when something cocky wasn’t the first thing that flew from his lips after your reaction, then you wouldn’t have opened your eyes to see him staring up at you in concern, almost all traces of pleasure erased from his features as he put your wellbeing first.

Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you inhaled sharply through your nose before exhaling a deep breath. “It just… took me by surprise is all.”

“Sorry–”

Caring and apologetic? Who was this new Taehyung?

“–I can’t help that my dick is so huge.”

And there he was.

You chose to ignore his arrogance by shooting him a glare before going back to closing your eyes, your head tilted back and bottom lip caught between your teeth as you slowly started to sink lower on his length. The effects were almost immediate; once you sat down on his hips with him buried to the hilt, both of you let out a simultaneous groan.

“God you feel so good,” Tae moaned, unable to stop himself from giving a small buck of his hips up into your heat. “How is it that neither guy liked having sex with you before?”

“I didn’t say they didn’t like having sex with me!” You scoffed in disbelief while experimentally swiveling your hips, suddenly fearful that he misinterpreted your whole purpose for asking this arrangement of him in the first place. “I said the sex wasn’t good for me! I just wanted to make sure I’m not the problem!”

“I can tell you right now, you’re fucking not the problem,” Taehyung let out a small, dark chuckle of disbelief as he tightened his grip and rutted his hips up a bit harder into yours, the action causing you to gain extra height as you bounced on his dick.

“Shit, Tae,” you didn’t even have time to question his words as you were suddenly doubling over in pleasure, the upper half of your body bending at the waist and collapsing onto his chest as you let his thrusting hips take over and send your body to the seventh heaven; if you weren’t religious before, you definitely were now. “Shit, right there, don’t stop!”

Taehyung grunted as he followed your commands, each snap of his hips causing his dick to hit a spot deep inside of you that felt so glorious, so deliciously sweet, that you found yourself screaming out his name like a mantra on repeat. You were enjoying sex more than you ever had in your entire life—which albeit wasn’t saying much, but hell, it was still something.

“I love hearing you,” he groaned with a devilish grin at the sheer audacity of the pleasure that was overpowering him. “Do you like it when I fuck your tight little pussy? Answer me, Y/N.”

Yes, yes I fucking love it,” you cried back as you clung to his chest for dear life, scratches and bite marks sure to be left on his skin from where you tried to hold yourself together, if only for your sheer sanity. “God Tae, don’t stop, it feels so fucking good!”

“Good–ah!–good girl.” His praise was interrupted by an involuntary clench of your walls, one that usually happened when you were either close to cumming or trying to coax them to their climax so it could be over with as soon as possible; this time, it just so happened to be the former.

“Taehyung… I’m…” you were barely able to get the words out between the heavy breaths that labored your chest and moans that spilled from your lips.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” His tone was rhetorical, almost patronizing, though you couldn’t find it in yourself to give a damn, what with the way the sweat was plastered to your forehead and your knees shook every time you tried to lift your hips up and bounce on his cock.

So all you could do was meekly nod, your face buried in his neck and your fingernails digging into his caramel skin while your best friend completely obliterated what was left of your sanity and your pussy.

“Oh my god, Taehyung–!” There was a flash of electrifying white light until there was suddenly nothing at all, your vision going momentarily blind as your earth shattering orgasm took over your body and sky rocketed your soul into a different dimension that not even you could comprehend. It took a few moments to realize that his thumb was on your clit, still vibrating away while you rode out the aftereffects of your euphoric high.

“Holy shit you’re tightening around me so fucking much.” Taehyung was a mess of mewls and moans that finally registered through your ears when you came back to reality. “I’m not gonna be able to last much longer.”

“Then let go.” You were panting, almost exhausted at this point from the whirlwind of bliss that your body just put you through, though that didn’t stop you from gritting your teeth and pressing your hands against his chest while you bounced your hips up and down on his length, each slap of your ass against his skin filling the room with lewd noises that you’re sure it never expected to hear coming from the two best friends that had spent years upon years of their childhood playing within its walls.

“Cum for me, Tae.”

That was all it took; one breathy command of your voice, and he was instantly melting like putty beneath your body.

Gasps of ah! and Y/N! tumbled from his lips like a never ending waterfall of ecstasy, each one shooting straight into your core as you felt his dick pulsate within you. There were sudden pauses from hot cum spilling into the covering of the condom that caused his hips to stutter, movement ceasing from every bone in his body before he was suddenly coming back to reality and gently pulling out of you.

“Holy shit, that was good.” Taehyung was rolling onto his back with a laugh and tugging the rubber off. “Next time I wanna try out the vibrator I bought. Oh, and one of the sex positions!”

You were gaping like a fish out of water as you scrambled to keep up with his words, not even having a second to process things before he was already talking about your next session. “O–oh, okay.” You were nodding your head and sitting up as well to grab your clothes. “So was I good, then? Any pointers?”

“You were fucking amazing–” Taehyung cut himself off as he realized what he was saying before his entire demeanor changed, a scoff that was obviously a facade falling from his lips as he nonchalantly shrugged. “I mean, you were alright, I guess. We’re definitely gonna have to practice again though to fix some more things.”

You rolled your eyes with a laugh as you playfully swatted him before pulling on your underwear and bra. “Where’s my shorts?” You blurted out in amusement once you realized that he must’ve chucked it somewhere in the midst of your heated exchange.

After a few minutes of both of you searching the bedroom high and low, Tae finally found it abandoned beneath the skirt of the bed. “Sorry,” he chuckled as he held his own tshirt in his hands. “I’ll try to remember to throw it somewhere easily accessible next time.”

The sound of his laughter was bright and jubilant as the warm glow of the sunlight that was streaming in from the window behind him illuminated his skin, framing the outline of his body like a halo and shadowing the facial structure of his handsome–

Whoa. Handsome?

You had never called Taehyung handsome before. You always knew that he was, in an objective sort of way—but you had never viewed him like that personally.

And you still didn’t.

You quickly shook away your thoughts before refocusing back on your best friend. “Thank you. I don’t want to have to end up leaving here wearing your clothes. Nothing screams I just had sex more than that.”

“What, are you embarrassed of me?” He raised his eyebrow accusingly as if daring you to say yes, and though his actions were light and playful, you still couldn’t help but frown at this.

“Wait… you aren’t telling people about our arrangement, are you?”

“Not yet,” Taehyung answered. “I was gonna tell some of the guys but–”

“Please don’t.” You we’re blurting out before you could stop yourself. “The last thing I want is for people to find out I had to come to my best friend for sex advice. Especially Jimin. Can we just… keep this to ourselves?”

There was a pause while he frowned. “Why Jimin?” He asked with a tilt of his head in confusion.

You almost tutted in disbelief. “Tae, you know that I like Jimin. Why are you acting like this is new news?”

You friend blinked at you as he processed this information. “Why didn’t you just go to him for sex advice, then?”

“And have him never speak to me again because I’m terrible in bed and ruined our friendship? No thanks!”

“Oh, so you were okay with potentially ruining ours, then.” His words were more of a statement than a question as he crossed his arms and glared at you.

“What? No, I knew something like this wouldn’t ruin ours because you’re my best fucking friend, Tae.” Your expression softened as you took a step closer to him and held out your pinky finger. “Since we were five years old for life.”

The was a moment of silence as tension hung in the room while you waited for him to accept your gesture of friendship, though it wasn’t long before a tut fell from his lips and rang through the air. “Five years old for life,” he repeated, and then he was hooking his finger around yours and interlocking your pinkys, savoring this moment between you that embodied nothing but the strength of your bond and purity of your friendship.

“That has to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever said after sex,” he commented idly while the two of you continued getting dressed, and you couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

Maybe your deal with Taehyung wasn’t going to turn out to be such a mistake after all.

This weird, giant shipworm from the Philippines has the internet disgusted

  • Scientists are pumped about discovering a group of giant shipworms living in a lagoon in the Philippines, but it’s safe to say the internet is collectively grossed out.
  • The discovery marks the first time scientists have found living examples of this species of giant shipworm, which can grow to be up to five feet long and 2.3 inches in diameter, according to the BBC.
  • The researchers published their findings in an academic journal and shared video footage of the team removing one of the slimy black worms from its tube-shaped shell. Read more (4/18/17 1:30 PM)

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Ed Sheeran released his new album today, and this song just screams FitzSimmons. Give it a listen, and try to not cry (but actually cry a lot).

Especially this part:

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

2

Very Rare Celtic Gold Coin with a Chariot and Carnyx

This ¼ stater was struck by an uncertain tribe in Northwest Gaul during the third to second centuries BC. The obverse is a beardless male with curly hair facing to the right, however, the reverse is what’s special about this coin. It shows a Celticized version of a biga (chariot), a horse standing to the right with a male figure on its back. He is blowing an ancient musical instrument, a carnyx. There is a long-fingered figure below the horse with both hands raised. An arrow is behind the rider and a sickle shaped razor is in front of the horse. This is a very rare coin with a remarkably attractive and curious reverse. The obverse is struck from a worn die, otherwise, the coin is extremely fine.

Known as the ‘Trumpet Type,’ its obverse is clearly an early member of the long series that ended up with the extraordinary heads from the Channel Islands and the coast nearby. However, the reverse is simply astounding with its remarkable horse, and the ‘rider’ blowing his horn. As for the rather orans-like figure with his arms raised in praise or prayer below the horse, there are virtually no parallels.

The carnyx was a bronze wind instrument used by Iron Age Celts to rally troops and strike fear into the heart of their enemies from around 200 BC to 200 AD. It took the form of a very elongated ’S’ shaped tube. The horn’s bell was usually shaped like an animal’s head with its mouth wide open. Seven carnyces were discovered at Tintignac, France; six of them have boar-shaped heads and the seventh takes the shape of a a serpent-like beast.  

You can hear the awesome sounds of a carnyx here in a video of John Kenny playing a modern carnyx reproduction.

That upcoming beach event has me once again thinking of a very important AU…where Dragon Age Heroes is more like Fire Emblem Heroes.

So here’s my pitch for participating characters:

Bathing Beauty Vivienne. Big sunhat, big sunglasses, with a parasol that shoots ice spells. Perfect pretext for various puns and play-on words. (“Darling, you’re burning up! Let’s put some ice on that,”, “Is it chilly out here, or is it just you?”)  

Safety First Cole. In flippers, swimmies, goggles with snorkel, and a big inflatable tusket-shaped tube. He throws seashells and dried up star fish and sand dollars from his bucket.

Leader of Bull’s Cookout. The Iron Bull in dad sandals and a “Kiss the Cook” apron. Attacks with a giant sizzling spatula. Meat puns probably not safe for a phone game.

CassWatch. Cassandra in a red one piece, with a whistle and ample sunscreen. She wields a rescue tube and her muscles, ready to restore order to the beach. 

anonymous asked:

shinee has a movie marathon ^^ shinee goes to the beach/pool or both :)

i’ll have to get back to the movie marathon one! here’s shinee goes to the beach for you anon! :)

onew:

  • wears a straw hat that makes him look like luffy from one piece
  • sipping on piña coladas
  • sunburned af bc he fell asleep  in the sun for like 2 hours and now he has a very weird sunglasses tan (key: tragic. minho: *high pitched hysterical laughter in the background*)
  • buys a lot of beach merch like those caps and shirts and cups they sell with the beach name
  • ventured down into the water to wade, immediately knocked over by a wave
  • is digging a really deep hole with his hands

jonghyun:

  • brought giant speakers for his funky tunes it is not sandproof which is why it’s in a ziplock freezer bag 
  • runs away from key when he tried to put sunscreen on him
  • cannot order a sex on the beach without giggling (minho, onew, jonghyun: sex! sex! sex! on the beach!!)
  • unironically owns a towel with a giant picture of his own face on it (it says JONGHYUN in huge letters on the back, it is truly truly obnoxious) on which he rolls around reading a book
  • brought chunks of watermelon to eat
  • tried to save a child who was not actually drowning
  • still v embarrassed never bring that up ever

key:

  • big floppy hat and sunglasses are a given (tae: you look like a satellite / key: bc i’m out of this world bich) 
  • lots o sunscreen
  • boardwalk food!!!!!! fries and ketchup are the best by the sea
  • secretly tries to throw popcorn into jonghyun’s mouth bc he opens it while he sleeps, it’s 10 points for every shot he makes in (”yes 20 points!!”)
  • takes a hotdogs or legs pic 
  • is a shell hoarder (srsly key we can’t keep bringing two bags of shells you never do anything with) 

minho:

  • his shirt says suns out guns out but he thows it off the second he sees the water
  • lowkey flexing the whole time
  • lectures everyone about riptides before he lets anyone go swim 
  • the lifeguard blew the whistle at him twice bc he tried to dunk key so hard he almost drowned & bc he sat on jonghyun’s chest and started to bury his head
  • lost 48 dollars to a claw machine
  • no one will play beach volleyball with him bc they know how he gets and onew can only handle so many concussions 

taemin:

  • “hey!!!!!!!!! look at this sandcastle i made” / shinee: we’re so proud of our son
  • brought an inner tube shaped like a flamingo to float on
  • minho had to swim after him a few times so that he doesn’t get lost at sea bc he’s just drifting out there….. aimlessly… with no regards to his whereabouts 
  • also has a water gun with him that he uses to spray minho’s head as he tries to haul his ass back to shore  
  • wants to rent a jetski, settles for dip n dots
“...interdimensional laser-shooting metal-horned tube-shaped giant floating green-eyed robot gorilla head.”

Carl the Animator: “Works for me.”

Ted the Animator: “…KISS-amusement-park-branded barf bag.”

Carl the Animator: “Works for me.”

Ted the Animator: “…KISS leaving to go play a show while the gang is being chased and almost killed by said robo gorilla head.”

Carl the Animator: “…wait, what?”

Ted the Animator: “…they totally just left to do a concert instead of helping them escape the danger.”

Carl the Animator: “Priorities, Ted. Your fans always come first.”

Ted the Animator: “Even when your friends are at the mercy of a laser-shooting decapitated great ape?”

Carl the Animator:Especially then.”

no-spoons-given  asked:

can you do a size reference photo for the new chewys?

Yes, here they are

Photo description: Credit card sized Smartrip card next to a white chewable silicone unicorn with blue, yellow and pink mane and tail. Unicorn is about a half inch taller than the height of the long side of the card. 

Photo description: Credit card sized Smartrip card next to sideways turned grey and white chewable U shaped tube on a black necklace cord. Width of the U is about the same as  the height of the long side of the card.

anonymous asked:

Oh, they actually did Padmé's hair in the Geonosis outfit with flexible tubing that they shaped into that complex knot, and then wrapped her actual hair around it! At least that's what I've read, and it makes the most sense to me.

Yeah I looked up some videos on youtube to see how it was done and this one is probably the best

Honestly it seems very Extra and if I ever do decide to do a cosplay of the Geonosis outfit I’m just going to put my hair in plain bun

Roller Coaster- Tyler Seguin

Originally posted by brosillustrated

Omg so if you guys hadn’t read @mystupidlovesongs stuff, go do that! I love that boo! And she loves Ty-Ty so she requested this a while ago so I hope she likes it! I love how it turned out! Enjoy guys!

Warning: mention of death/dying

@mystupidlovesongs Request: Hello hello! Since the Stars are done for the year, could you do an imagine of Tyler Seguin and the reader having a fun date (going to the zoo, bowling, amusement park…) and they just have a really great time with each other? Thank you babe, you the best!

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

              “Come on Ty-Ty!”

Keep reading

Struck (Part Seventeen)

EXO Fanfiction: Fantasy AU
Main pairing - Female Reader x Kim Jongdae/Chen
A mysterious group move into your apartment building and you find yourself drawn to them, one in particular… but is it safe? Who are they really?

< Previous | Next >

‘So you are telling me that she held your hand, a bunch of petals flew in the air and that’s what we are betting on?’

Mrs Park was angrily pacing in front of where you were sat on the sofa. Sehun groaned, leaning heavily against the fireplace.

‘Sis, I told you,’ he said, ‘It’s the only way to reach all of the Outsiders at once.’

I thought it was pretty cool, you thought, your voice small in your head.  

Yeah me too, Jongdae replied, giving you a side glance.

‘What did you actually say, what was your message?’ Mrs Park said, rounding on Sehun, who flinched, tiredness evident on his face.

Blossom had made you leave her shop as soon as her message had been sent, so your group had returned to Mrs Park’s apartment. Minseok was slumped in an armchair whilst you and Jongdae were sat together on the sofa. Baekhyun was clattering around the kitchen. You glanced up as he re-emerged, a tray of coffee in his hands.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can I ask for a hc regarding Jumin trying various "commoner foods" with MC for the first time? He talks a lot about being raised on "proper food". (Also your writing is amazing and you're a blessing thank you :'>)

I AM READY TO WRITE SOME JUMIN :3

also i’m gonna write this on foods common in america, since i dont know a lot about Korean food `~`

*cracks knuckles*

Hot Dogs

  • MC insists Jumin has an authentic hot dog from a street vendor, just like they did growing up
  • “hello sir. i’d like one plain hot dog please”
  • MC grabs Jumin’s arm and pulls him away
  • “Jumin, you cant talk like that to a street vendor. he’ll way overcharge you”
  • “but why would the price be different based on how i ask for a hot dog?”
  • oh, Jumin. you’re so hopelessly adorable
  • MC sighs, smiling
  • “just watch. i’ll get us both hot dogs”
  • MC approaches the vendor
  • “gimmie two dogs with ketchup”
  • “that’ll be two bucks”
  • MC turns back to Jumin, smirking, and mouths the word
  • see?
  • Jumin applauds quietly
  • “alright, Jumin. ready for a taste of my childhood?”
  • Jumin wants to say yes but honestly he’s not sure
  • how…how do they get the meat into this weird tube shape?
  • he asks MC
  • “you dont wanna know, sweetheart. now eat your hot dog”
  • Jumin shrugs and bites into it, looking extremely awkward
  • MC giggles watching him try to eat it
  • “i dont really understand this, but i will admit it’s quite delicious”
  • only Jumin can say that he doesnt understand hot dogs and still be the cutest man on the planet

Milkshakes

  • MC takes Jumin to an old school diner
  • “this is so…quaint”
  • geez Jumin, you might as well just say you hate it
  • MC picks a booth to sit in and Jumin is just like ???? whY IS THIS CHAIR SO LONG???
  • “MC, i have a few questions about this menu”
  • “dont worry about the menu, Jumin. we’re here for milkshakes”
  • “milkshakes? what is-”
  • “you’ll see”
  • Jumin is ???? but decides to trust MC
  • they order one vanilla milkshake and one strawberry milkshake
  • when the milkshakes get there, MC gives Jumin the vanilla one, leaning forward
  • “well? take a sip!”
  • Jumin takes the cherry from the top of his drink and gently sets it on a napkin, placing it on the table
  • he sips up the thick, sweet milkshake
  • Jumin looks at MC with wide eyes
  • “this is incredible!”
  • MC smiles
  • “i know, right?? and they’re romantic, too”
  • “romantic? but how-”
  • MC takes a bendy straw and puts in Jumin’s drink
  • then, pulling oh Jumin’s sleeve they say
  • “we can drink together”
  • Jumin’s cheeks turn bright red
  • so close!!! in such a public place!!!
  • h e  l o v e s  i t

Chipotle

  • “it’s so loud in here”
  • MC ignores that
  • “alright Jumin, here’s what we’re working with. you can get a salad, quesadilla, burrito, or burrito bowl. i suggest the bowl”
  • there are police sirens screaming in Jumin’s brain right now
  • what,who,i’m,wh confused
  • “wh….what’s in the bowl?”
  • “it’s basically like a deconstructed burrito”
  • “whats in a burrito”
  • oh god, this was a mistake
  • “just stand behind me, i’ll order for you”
  • *while MC is ordering*
  • “MC, doesnt that seem like too much corn?”
  • “okay Jumin why dont you go pick a table and i’ll meet you there in a sec”
  • when MC brings Jumin his food he’s even more confused
  • he sifts through the food with his fork
  • “Jumin, you’re acting like a little kid. just take a bite!”
  • MC happily munches down on their own bowl
  • is takes a few seconds for Jumin to even get enough food on his fork
  • finally, he’s ready to take a bite
  • “oh, interesting. this ‘bowl’ isnt exactly aesthetically appealing but it tastes quite nice”
  • MC rolls their eyes but still smiles
  • “i’m glad you like it, weirdo”
  • they take a small cup of guac out and eats some chips with it
  • “MC, whats that youre eating now?”
  • “just finish you’re bowl, Jumin. one new thing at a time”

PB&J

  • Jumin was working hard, even though it was saturday
  • MC comes into his study, singing
  • “lunch is served!”
  • Jumin looks away from his papers, beaming at MC
  • “my darling, its so pleasant to see your face. what are we having for lunch today?”
  • MC dramatically places a plate with a sandwich neatly cut diagonally, and a few apple slices with triangles cut out at the top
  • Jumin tilts his head
  • “whats all this?”
  • “my favorite lunch since i was little! PB&J and bunny apple slices”
  • “PB&J?”
  • “it means peanut butter and jelly. it’s what’s in the sandwich!”
  • Jumin doesnt have the heart to tell MC that peanut butter and grape jelly sounds like a terrible combination, so he just smiles and bites into the sandwich
  • boy, was he wrong
  • “MC, this is incredible! how did you come up with this?”
  • MC laughs
  • “i didnt come up with it!”
  • “who did?”
  • “…i…i dont know….?”
  • Jumin takes another big bite of the sandwich
  • he wonders if there are cat friendly peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
  • elizabeth has got to try this

PS: this is what bunny apple slices look like

cute, right? i feel like Jumin would go nuts over them

thanks for the request, i really hope you like it!!