tuba's dad

Alternate Instrument Names:

Oboe: obi won
Clarinet: squidward
Flute: metal recorder
Piccolo: ear knife
Saxaphone: fuck phone
Barri sax: BIG low fuck phone
Bass clarinet: big squidward
Trumpet: yikes
French horn: bendy straw horn
Trombone: one loud motherfucker
Tuba: band dad
Baritone: smol tuba Bassoon: needy and wants to be included?? Percussion: miles teller

Yesterday marks the day that Tuba’s dad was introduced into Baman Piderman :D Sorry, I forgot until I checked my calendar.

It’s probably weird that I know this, but it’s because I made a Baman Piderman themed calendar with the dates that everyone was introduced and dates from the show (Feets Day- May 12, Squib Week- September 1-7, Happy Winter Friends- December 14, Ghost Night- October 25, Exc)

I can’t do the walk, I can’t do the talk
I can’t be your friend, unless I pretend

So give me the song and I’ll sing it like I mean it
So give me the words and I’ll say them like I mean it
‘Cause you got my heart in a headlock
You stopped the blood and made my head soft
You made my head soft, you made my head soft.

Fandom update: Jacklo is still here and hes still full of sin and trash.

Inspired by the stream this afternoon and my muted crying about how much I still love these two and hoW I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MY LITTLE ADORABLE SWEET CHILD (whom i rly hope doesn’t hatch out into a complicated design).

And also quiet hopes that Tubs’ schemey schemes make him as antagonistic as the show allows for cus wouldn’t that be a kicker. Lmao (〜 ̄▽ ̄)〜

anonymous asked:

what do you think of dads

my dad and i get drunk together and listen to merle haggard. dave’s dad was in a sick doo wop group called the enchantones in the 60s. greg’s dad is disappointed in him. katie’s dad gets me real drunk sometimes and that rules. steve’s dad plays tuba and ride a bike across the country or something. when josh broke his leg his dad brought him a case of beer. i don’t know shit about any one else’s dad. some dads are chill, some dads are fucking assholes though.
- derrick

phan-tho-amirite-deactivated201  asked:

Could you please write about freshman Dan starting band camp and playing tuba but struggling to carry it, then junior tuba player Phil helping him (Dan is immediately smitten) and offering to help him one on one. Thanks!

Your trivia prize: (American AU)

“Play the tuba mom said. Your dad played and now you will too,” Dan muttered to himself, struggling to carry the heavy instrument. At fourteen, he was a scrawny little thing. He hadn’t played sports since fifth grade gym and video games on his beanbag chair were more his thing. 

Unfortunately, he had shown an aptitude for music at an early age. He played piano first, then the organ for his grandma’s church every so often. Dan couldn’t play either for the school band of course… and he needed more activities for his college application so, of course, the tuba was the next logical solution. Dan’s shoulder’s ached and his chest heaved trying to march and play the damn thing. He set it in his mind right then and there that he was switching to flute even if it got him stuffed in a locker once a day for the rest of high school. This was too freaking heavy.

“Freshman tuba in the black!” the first chair tuba called to him at the end of the school fight song. First chair was a guy named Phil, junior class giant, easily six feet tall already. From the first day of band camp, Dan had been making a fool of himself in front of the guy. He flustered easily, messed up his steps, went off beat, and was generally a major fuck up. 

“Yeah?” Dan replied, helplessly. 

“How’s the memorizing going?” Phil asked, concerned. “I know it’s tough the first year but eventually you can play these songs in your sleep.”

“It is, kinda…”

“Once you have the music memorized,” Phil smiled. “Your marching will get better too.”

“I hope so. I think I actually want to try another instrument.”

“Yeah… Like what? Piccolo?”

“Flute actually,” Dan blushed. “I’m not that lazy.”

Phil laughed with the most charming deep chuckle. “Come on, I can’t lose a tuba to the flutes. I’ll never forgive myself.” 

Dan put down his tuba as the weight strained him too much. 

“Listen, Dan right?” 

Dan nodded, surprised that Phil knew his name.

“You have a great sound and you clearly have the fingering down but I can still help you out when you have some free time. We’re not just a marching band. We are the marching band. We have competitions and march in parades and all that good stuff. Last year, we were in New York, this year L.A. I don’t want to see you struggle to keep up. I’m afraid you’ll abandon us completely.”

Dan took in his words and wanted to agree to the extra help immediately but decided to play it cool. “That would be great. Yeah, I’m totally up for getting help… from you… I mean… shit…”

Phil smiled again. “Alright freshmen, tomorrow an hour before camp?”

Dan agreed and decided right then and there to never pick up a flute.