tuba memes

  • friend: hey do you wanna chill with me later
  • me, a color guard intellectual: we don't chill 🙅🏻 too busy grindin 😈all day at practice 😤 💯 we out here spinnin 🏳 at band camp 🎺🎷🥁 every day hustlin 👊🏻 🏃🏻‍♀️
band tropes

flute/piccolo: stone cold bitch. will kill a man for a solo.

clarinet: absolute nerds. chill 99% of the time.

french horn: Yikes. they’re either a mess or hella salty. or both.

trumpet: there’s like ten million of them. and they all think they’re the best in the band.

alto/tenor sax: they don’t have any friends, but they’re pretty nice.

bari sax: dedicated. very strong willed.

trombone: still laughs at shitty 2009 memes. wears velcro shoes. Avoid At All Costs.

baritone: they don’t practice, and yet? they don’t mess up. except for “wait, is this A flat or sharp? first valve or second? what?”

tuba: they are not kind. usually annoyed with the rest of the band.

percussion: half of them don’t give a fuck, the other half give a fuck AGGRESSIVELY

sections in my band

flutes: salty, cant tune, will fight you, loyal and smart
clarinets: tired, dont give a fuck, either very good or very very bad
trumpets: chill. shy but hilarious. “everyone” likes them
alto sax: jazz - 10/10 chill dudes, very nice. concert - who?
tenor sax: prissy, very good, would not recommend long exposure too
bari sax: sad
trombones: new to band, total meme hos,
tuba: v smol, baby of the band, must protect
percussion: sonuvabitch, talented but dicky

Thrift Shop (The Band Geek Edition)

I’m gonna pop some brass
Only got a piccolo in my pocket
I-I’m percussion
Lookin for a drummer
This is fluting awesome

Walk up into the club like, “What up, I got a big horn!”
I’m so pumped, I bought a Tuba from the music store.
Ice in the water, there ain’t none cause it’s band camp.
The people like, “Dang, all we wanted was a break, man.”