tuba fire

things i've heard in the band hallway: a masterlist

“if you say silly one more Goddamn Time I will shove my silly clarinet up your ass”

“marching band is like a cult. except more sexual”

“I don’t want to look just sexy. I want to look: pin me against a wall and talk bandy to me sexy”

“merchin’ bernd is lerf”

*a five year old, asking our pic player*
“where’s the rest of it?”

“congratulations, you finally suck”

*band director, talking to a clarinet player*
“you know, Brandon’s too confusing of a name. your name is now Johan”

“IF YOU PLAY SONIC BOOM ONE MORE TIME I WILL EVISCERATE YOU”

“oh you’re so cool, with your mirror baritone selfie”

*saxophone player, looking into the distance, in a southern accent*
“my diaphragm hurts”

“WHY ARE YOU RUBBING HER ELBOW”

“okay, so it started out by arguing about who had the better ass…”

*band director, addressing the band*
“you guys are like lemurs. you follow me around, and when I jump a cliff, you do too. except, without the cliff part”

*talking to a Mello player who had a concussion*
“I guess you could say you play perCUSSION now”

“it could be worse, the tuba could be on fire”

“okay but this section shouldn’t be HEY! it should be more like heeeeey”

“I pronounce it peep or peh-pay depending on the weather, the position of Mars, and how many caribou can fit Ito 3.7 square miles”

“if we’re a family can I be the distant estranged cousin from France”

“if you don’t feel like you could pass out right now you’re not doing it right.”

anonymous asked:

We need Dipper playing the devil went down to Georgia on the tuba... At a summoning

Mod S now needs art of Dipper jumping up and down and blorting away on his big old tuba and almost about to pass out from lack of breath while seven cultists look at him like “omg what the fuck”

things i've heard in the band hallway: a masterlist

thingsalwaysmatter:

“if you say silly one more Goddamn Time I will shove my silly clarinet up your ass”

“marching band is like a cult. except more sexual”

“I don’t want to look just sexy. I want to look: pin me against a wall and talk bandy to me sexy”

“merchin’ bernd is lerf”

*a five year old, asking our pic player*
“where’s the rest of it?”

“congratulations, you finally suck”

*band director, talking to a clarinet player*
“you know, Brandon’s too confusing of a name. your name is now Johan”

“IF YOU PLAY SONIC BOOM ONE MORE TIME I WILL EVISCERATE YOU”

“oh you’re so cool, with your mirror baritone selfie”

*saxophone player, looking into the distance, in a southern accent*
“my diaphragm hurts”

“WHY ARE YOU RUBBING HER ELBOW”

“okay, so it started out by arguing about who had the better ass…”

*band director, addressing the band*
“you guys are like lemurs. you follow me around, and when I jump a cliff, you do too. except, without the cliff part”

*talking to a Mello player who had a concussion*
“I guess you could say you play perCUSSION now”

“it could be worse, the tuba could be on fire”

“okay but this section shouldn’t be HEY! it should be more like heeeeey”

“I pronounce it peep or peh-pay depending on the weather, the position of Mars, and how many caribou can fit Ito 3.7 square miles”

“if we’re a family can I be the distant estranged cousin from France”

“if you don’t feel like you could pass out right now you’re not doing it right.”