Remember NMFUP?

Of course you do!

I’ve always thought NMFUP was something Malcolm picked up on his travels.  He filed away for his own use and the opening of 104 is him taking it for a test-drive with Jamie to make absolutely sure it works as well he thinks it does.  Which it does do so no worries there, Malc!

Which makes me wonder if we go back to 102 and Hugh’s box *inside* the box (that Malcolm praises), if we’re not seeing the other side of NMFUP i.e. picking up and filing away part when Malcolm hears something good that he might want to use later.

Poor Hugh thinks his exhaustion has made him completely incoherent, but he’s actually kind of making a lot of sense – very much despite himself* – and I can totally see Malcolm incorporating it into a bollocking:

You know what your problem is, yeah? You made a fucking box INSIDE a box and you can only fucking think inside THAT fucking box.

Of course the tiny flaw with the filing away argument is that we DON’T ever see Malcolm say it which suggests Malcolm DIDN’T file it away.  And to that I’d say, well, Hugh does say it right before his infamous Do you get lonely? and I can imagine in this one very specific instance Malcolm’s short term, medium term, AND long term reaction to Hugh’s extremely unexpected probing of his emotional state was to wipe the whole conversation from his memory – just in case – including alas Hugh’s excellent and potentially useful turn of phrase.

*re: Hugh’s making sense despite himself: isn’t that Hugh’s curse? That whenever he says something clever – obviously by complete accident – it’s always someone else who benefits from it. This could be an example, but I’m really thinking about that time he unintentionally kicked Dan Miller’s career into high gear.

So, I’ve just watched She Loves Me, and now I have the bizarre, yet profound  desire for a Malcola She Loves Me/The Shop Around the Corner/You’ve Got Mail  AU

Just imagine…

By day, Malcolm and Nicola Murray are at each other’s throats  at every moment. At night, they each go home to a lonely flat and turn on their desktop to see a message from their online pen pal (Maybe they found each other through a West Wing LJ comm?) 

Even though they’ve never “met” in person (or so they think), they know each other intimately through typed words on a screen. They recommend books and films to each other; confess their deepest fears, dreams, and their childhood aspirations.

It’s easier for Malcolm to tone down his language through a written medium; while the “f-bomb” still frequently litters his correspondence, it’s tempered by a self-deprecating humor and real vulnerability that is often obscured in person by his terrifying presence. Furthermore, it relaxes him to talk about anything and everything besides work.

Meanwhile, Nicola is much more confident and coherent if people aren’t reading over shoulder when she types. She’s honest, even about her own insecurities and failings; she’s also warm and compassionate, always willing to offer a listening ear. Although her pie-in-the-sky idealism often colors her messages, it comes across much more reasonable and humorous–amusing pipe dreams that both of them know can never be realities.

Sometimes, they find themselves complaining in  rather vague terms about certain infuriating colleagues– ”M,” the brutally-sadistic boss,  and  “N,” the woefully incompetent - – and both are rather sympathetic to the other’s plight, completely unaware that they are each indirectly badmouthing themselves.


We’ve come to a point where there are people – millions of people – who are quite happy to trade a kidney in order to go on television. And to show people their knickers, and to show people their skid marks, and then complain to OK! Magazine about a breach of privacy. The exchange of private information – that is what drives our economy. But you come after me because you can’t – you can’t arrest a land mass can you? You can’t cuff a country.


Malcolm, off the top of your head, can you recite anything you have written in needlework form in your house that can explain every single thing that has happened in UK politics since the EU referendum?


Ollie, YOU’RE an Ewok.  I have a tag that says it so it must be true. 

Happy Stars Wars Day everyone!

And what better way to celebrate than with a completely brand new version of Malcolm Explains Star Wars also known as The Greatest Conversation in the History of Ever (and also incidentally the source of my avatar).