who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave: blACK*STAR AND NOW THEW NEED A NEW MICROWAVE AND TSUBAKI IS GENTLY SOBBING TO THE SIDE
who forgot to put the cat outside before sex: This would be B*, again, because Tsubaki is usually the one who focuses on details and B* thinks with his dick when it ISN’T hard, let alone when the blood flow has migrated south
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit: Tsubaki and this woman has a cult following. When B* finds out, and realizes how many people have watched the vines, he declares them all his followers and Tsubaki uploads the video and now HE is a meme
who breaks the most phones: Black*Star when he goes to Parkour. At least Tsubaki has the good sense to get an arm-band
who dies first: naw son
which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: Black*Star! Tsubaki finds all sorts of ways around this, though, and that boy swears that if he just consumes enough bowls of cereal, he’ll overcome it
who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t: I think in CANON this is B*
who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed: Black*Star. If he ever does anything to piss Tsubaki off to that point, all she has to do is glare at him and he knows to give her s.p.a.c.e
who uses the computer most: Tsubaki! On top of being a popular vine-r, she runs a fitness channel on Youtube, and writes for an advice blog
This is part of my WP AU. And yes I did post it earlier but I wasn’t sure about it so I deleted it. I’m sorry. There will also be another cravings fic that comes before this one.
Soul slammed the refrigerator door and placed the jar of tomato sauce on the table. “Star,” he said into the phone nestled between his ear and shoulder, “you don’t even know, man. Maka’s cravings have gone from watermelon at three in the morning to dipping sardines in tomato sauce. It’s really gross and the smell is even worse.”
“It’s not gross,” Maka mumbled as she rubbed her protruding belly.
“You are literally eating stinky little fish with sauce you put on a pizza.”
“I think you’re forgetting that some people actually do eat pizza with sardines as the topping.” Maka popped one of the fish in question into her mouth and swallowed it whole.
“But they don’t exactly eat it without there being crust or cheese or anything else that goes on a fucking pizza.”
“I’m pregnant, Soul! These things happen!”
He groaned and left the kitchen. “Why did I have to marry a hardheaded woman?”
“I heard that!” Maka yelled.
“You were supposed to!” Soul retorted before speaking back into the phone. “So can you come over, and help me with fixing the plumbing?”
“Don’t worry, Soul! Your god will be over there asap! And by the way, leave me out some things to try that fall under Maka’s cravings,” Star told him.
Soul made a face that the other man couldn’t see. “Are you sure about that, Star? Some of the things she’s eaten lately don’t really look, uh… appetizing.”
“Hey, if Maka can eat while making another person in her stomach, I can eat it just fine!”
“Whatever you say.” Soul rolled his eyes. “So you’ll be over in fifteen?”
“Yep,” Star said and then hung up. The man was never one for casual goodbyes.