The flat is silent and deserted when Sherlock enters.
Mrs. Hudson is still at the wedding. And Sherlock assumes that she won’t come back until morning.
And John. Well. John will never come back.

Sherlock goes up the stairs. He goes through the lonely flat towards his own room.
Once he’s in it, he leans back against the wall for a while. He closes his eyes.

He feels so tired. Exhausted. Empty.

Sometime he finally takes off his suit. He throws it carelessly into a corner. He won’t need it again.
He puts on his favourite gown and sits down on the bed with a sigh.
He stares at the wall in front of him. He swallows. Clenches his hands.

He wished that the need that haunts him for days now would vanish. But instead it’s stronger than ever. The need for the drugs.

It started when John packed his things to move out.
Sherlock tells himself that it has nothing to do with John. But a part of him knows, that this isn’t the truth. The need for the drugs is there because all the things, which have disappeared with John’s appearance, will come back after John is gone. The haunting memories of the past and the depressive thoughts and the shattering emptiness - it will all come back.

And Sherlock is afraid. 

He swallows again and closes his eyes for a moment.
John would be sad and disappointed when he takes the drugs…but John isn’t there anymore. His opinion doesn’t matter anymore, right?
And to hell with everyone else. They don’t care anyway.

Sherlock loses the short fight against himself after a few minutes.
He stands up dazed and takes what he needs out of the hiding place behind his periodic table.

He prepares everything and meanwhile he feels a mixture of excitment, regret, sadness, rage and strange satisfaction.

But when he finally puts the needle with the cocain into his arm, he only feels relief. 

@maritacovarrubiass, @chinike, @lmirandas, @shag-me-senseless-watson, @the-headcanon-angel, @queer-johnlock


One of the ways that Sherlock deduces that David still has romantic feelings for Mary is that in all his Facebook pictures of John and Mary, John is, ‘always partly or entirely excluded’.  This shows that he wants John, 'out of the picture’, so to speak.

Then we see director Colm McCarthy’s approach to framing his shots during the best man speech.  During Sherlock’s speech, Mary is, 'always partly or entirely excluded’, in any shot that also includes Sherlock.  Janine, a character we’ve only just met, and of much less importance to the proceedings, seems to have plenty of room to fit in shots that exclude Mary.

If excluding half of a couple is a sign that someone wants them to not be a couple, then, here, the show is explicitly telling us that John and Mary are not the right couple.  The compositions escalate from merely cutting Mary out to having Sherlock actually physically block her from the audience’s view.  We are meant to not see John in relation to Mary but Sherlock.  It’s always Sherlock.

(Thank you to obliquely-related for their comment that reminded me to write about this.)

I’ve pondered this shot since TSOT aired. I kept wondering why we were shown the hug from this angle. At first I thought it had to do with John’s private nature, especially his private feelings about Sherlock: so private he can’t admit them to his therapist after Sherlock’s “death,” so private he makes sure Mrs. Hudson’s not watching before he touches Sherlock’s headstone. Here, he hides his face behind Sherlock’s before hugging him, and we get a private glimpse of his face full of adoration for his friend, but the guests do not.

Then I realized I had it backward. This shot isn’t about John hiding his face from the guests. When I don’t know how to understand a choice of cinematography, I usually think “What would I have meant by that choice?” And I realized that my wedding photography experience could indeed answer this question. It took me a long time to come up with because I don’t usually go behind the altar during the wedding ceremony, but I have done it enough to know that this is the kiss shot. This is the shot I do when the couple kiss. It’s one of the most important photographs to get of the wedding day; couples always, always request it. The usual way to do it is from the perspective of the guests, from the angle that most of Sherlock’s speech is filmed in TSOT, but this is a foreground-background connection: this is the shot I do when I want to show that the couple are celebrating their love in front of everyone they know

That’s what this shot is. It’s John showing how much he cares about Sherlock, in front of God and congregation, in front of and family and friends. Just because his face is hidden doesn’t mean he’s not demonstrating his feelings for all to see, here, for the very first time.

- gif by winxcest