tsk quotes

TSK: The most evasive historian in the world.

Cranquis: So does it hurt when you swallow?

50-something Patient: Well it doesn’t feel right.

Cranquis: So, painful, or more like tightness?

Patient: It’s just different.

Cranquis: Ok. Does it hurt to swallow?

Patient: Not really.

Cranquis: Does it feel like you’re choking when you swallow?

Patient: No, it just stings.

Cranquis: But… isn’t a “sting” painful?

Patient: I don’t know, I’ve never been stung in my throat.

Cranquis:

Mass is not proportional to volume. A girl as small as a violet; a girl who moves like a flower petal, is pulling me toward her with more force than her mass. Just then, like Newton’s apple, I rolled toward her without stopping until I fell on her.. with a thump. With a thump. My heart keeps bouncing between the sky and the ground. It was my first love.
—  Goblin
Okay, but papa Makarov getting mad at someone in Team Natsu for wrecking something and getting their name wrong
  • Makarov: who broke WHAT?!
  • Makarov: it costs how many jewel?!
  • Makarov: Luc- Wen- Er- YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE.
TSK: Will Work for Bacon

(Scene: Urgent Care exam room #3. Cranquis is performing vital medical activities requiring years of training and experience typing rapidly in the electronic medical record, while a teenaged patient and her mother wait to be discharged.)

Patient: Hey ma, can I have some money to buy bacon on the way home?

Mother: Ha! No.

Cranquis: I’ll be right back with your discharge papers.


Cranquis: Ok, here’s your note for school, here’s your instruction sheet, and here’s a small “Will Work for Bacon” sign I printed out for you, just in case.

Patient: What?!

Mother: HAHAHAHAHAHA!