ok so i met catrific on saturday and she is so lovely and absolutely incredible and stunning
also when she asked what my ‘phil lester defence squad’ tshirt meant and i explained she then said ‘i need one of them the phandom hates me!’ which broke my heart tbh
i told her i will make her a defence squad, and after tweeting her if she has a PO Box, and then her tweeting and asking if she should make one again, i am going to send her a ‘CATRIFIC DEFENCE SQUAD’ tshirt
is anyone willing to join the squad, because she is so inspirational and lovely that Cat deserves it

dress up

I read a book of poetry and steal the best lines
I sew them together in to fabric and make a dress
I tat some beautiful stockings and buy a garter belt
I sell my road bike on Craig’s list and buy stilettos
I’m now 6'3" and if I have to walk, I have the footwork of a geisha
I practice sitting and standing up elegantly in my kitchen
I sip some proseco out of an ikea champagne flute
I hold the glass by the stem, a technique I learned from The Bachelor
I prepare myself for the day when I have real champagne
The kind of champagne that is locked up tight
in a secure glass enclosed cabinet at the grocery store
I gloss my lips and spritz on my favorite perfume
It makes me smell like cookies
I practice walking, standing and sitting some more
I pretend I’m Audrey Hepburn until I tire of practicing
I change clothes and get back in to my jeans and tshirt
I walk in my unisex boots to get a slice of pepperoni at Hot Lips
I have a pint of IPA and read some tumblr poems