trying to work it out in my head

I Need to Find My Joy.

Writing Supernatural fanfiction used to give me joy. I looked forward to it; I would sit at work and literally itch to write, ideas crowding into my head, begging to get out, sometimes so many I couldn’t keep them straight.

Not anymore.

There’s a lot of factors:

  • I didn’t like season 12. I’m frustrated with the direction the show is going. Anyone who knows me, knows that when I write SPN, I tend to stick to canon (the exception being Dean and Donna). But even with them, I’m always trying to figure out where my fic might fit in canon. I don’t like where the story has gone and what they’ve done with some of the characters. It’s not motivating me to write.
  • Lack of feedback on my work. I know I’m not the only one feeling this. It’s discouraging to write and not get much feedback on it. It’s makes you question why you’re doing it at all.
  • My novel didn’t do well. This is a purely selfish reason, but when you finally do something you’ve always dreamed of doing and it flops, well, it’s very frustrating. And discouraging. It has sucked the urge and need to write out of me.
  • I feel like I’m running out of ideas. Every time I sit down to write, I find myself saying “I’ve already done this.” I can’t seem to come up with an original idea.

There are other, more personal reasons for my lack of motivation. But what I want you guys to know is that I’m trying, I really am. Be patient. Hopefully, that urge, that need, to get my ideas out of my head will come back.

Fingers crossed.

2

Super Belated Sunday Progress Update:

Fun morning face with all the dark circles and remnants of yesterday’s eye makeup–forever classy over here.  I also put my hair up with a pen I found lying on the desk…I look as much of a mess as I feel currently.  Walther, though, is blissfully happy napping after our morning walk. Ahhh, the life of a dog!

Work has been crazy busy, annnd we found out yesterday that the jerk who hit us now has a lawyer involved…?? I have no idea what case he could possibly have? But, it’s unsettling all the same.  When I was young, a man with no motorcycle license who had been drinking hit our dog with his bike and then sued my family (and injured the dog so horribly that she had to be put down)…so I know these things happen, but it still surprises and upsets me.  I am really, really trying to just put it out of my head.  I don’t want to obsess over it.  I don’t want to feel scared or threatened.  And, I don’t want to be angry or bitter.  (No easy task at the moment.) My husband is furious and ordered dashcams for both of our vehicles last night.  He said it helped him feel like he’s doing something.

The news is so overwhelming right now, as well.  So many tragedies–natural and otherwise.  This is a time to be doing good, to go out of our way to be kind and look for ways to help and be supportive.  I try to read at least one news story everyday about some small act an individual is doing to be helpful–those are my favorite kinds.  I try to bring them up in my mind throughout the day because that’s the kind of person I want to be and the kind of view of humanity I need to keep with me at all times.  It’s a good practice; I highly recommend it.

I feel like it’s time for an overhaul of the goals checklist… 

anonymous asked:

I've been friends with my ex for a while and it's just that even if he treated me like trash i just can't hate him even if i tried. He just started to tell me about this girls he talks to and i just don't understand how easy it was for him to just get over it and find someone else like that. I know i should leave but i always end up talking to him even though i know i should leave him.

Out with the old and in with the new– maybe you should try telling him that you don’t really care? That’s how I usually function. If it’s not about something that I truly care about, I filter it out of my head. Works every time. You care too much about things that aren’t worth caring about. Example– he was probably just telling you about how his life is going, you took into another direction. It wasn’t your intent or his, our brains do weird things. So control your thoughts. That’s one thing that you can change. Your way of thinking has got to go if you still want to be friends with him without destroying yourself.

anonymous asked:

So my boyfriend and I both just recently acquired our first tarot decks and we've been learning them and doing personal readings for ourselves trying to practice working with them, which has all been well and good, except they keep telling him we're going to break up... and then mine did as well. It's kinda messing with my head and I don't know how I should respond to this?

Okay so the thing about tarot is it is A. not a definite fact, it is a prediction as to what path you are currently headed down and B. can be influenced by personal fears and thoughts so the reading may be a manifestation of those worries. Best thing to do is talk it out. Figure out by communicating and doing more readings but mostly communicating as to why your current path may result in you breaking up and how to prevent that from happening. Another huge thing, even though it’s hard to do is to not let it mess with your head. If you convince yourself that there’s no way to fix things and that you’ll definitely break up, you will without a doubt, facilitate that process, it’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. So overall, remember readings aren’t definite, communicate with him as to what could cause it and try to fix it, and finally, don’t let yourself be convinced it’ll happen or it most likely will. Hopefully, that was an adequate answer, good luck in your endeavor. Best wishes to you both.

~Charlie ( @justatransgirlwitch )

Dating Shawn Mendes - Headcannons

dating shawn mendes would include:

  • singing to you when you can’t sleep
  • 80% of his songs being about you
  • watching him work out
  • when he doesn’t have to get up early, u can bet you’re staying in bed with him the wHoLE morning
  • trying to cook something as simple as pasta but somehow burning it??
  • bLoWinG kiSsES aT YOu annd vise versa
  • ranting to you about how canada is so much better than any other country
  • trying to teach you how to play guitar
  • FOREHEAD KISSES OH MY GOD SO MANY
  • when he’s really tired he becomes a koala
  • head in your neck ((if u have a ticklish neck this will be hell for u))
  • his hair would kind of be across the bottom of your cheeks and in your neck and just kind of everywhere but its like REALLY ok bc his hair can stop wars
  • his lips would press to your neck during these cuddling sessions
  • YOU WOULD GET TO SEE HIM SLEEP OH MY GOD
  • his long eyelashes laying on his cheeks
  • his hair would be curlier and messier than normal
  • his cheeks would b THE CUTEST COLOR OF PINK/RED ALMOST LIKE ROSES OIRHGSFJNK
  • his skin would be kind of hot too like not warm but burning
  • he wouldn’t let u go while your sleeping either
  • he would groan if u had to leave
  • hIS GrOGGy aSS vOiCE
  • after like a month of dating and spending a lot of time together he would want you to meet his family bc they mean a lot to him but so do u and he is so proud to have found someone like u awwww
  • before he kisses you his BIG ASS HANDs would hold you face or your cheeks
  • i feel like he’s the jealous type
  • and because he’s a leo,,, he wants to be the ‘dominant’ one in the relationship whatever tf that means
  • tracing his tattoos oH LORd
  • homeboy can’t keep his hands to himself when he’s in the mood ;)
  • your friends would send him videos of u singing his songs and he would have THE MOST smug smile on his face
  • bc his gf/bf is whipped for him
  • jk
  • no probs
  • when he comes home y’all are attached at the hip for the first three days
  • telling u all the places he wants to take u some day
  • he’d be a boyfriend that would get u a promise ring bc he’s still pretty young and i feel like getting married would be;; responsible and he still wants to be young and reckless with you
  • bc he’s a giant he would sweep u off your feet a lot and carry u around no matter what size you are
  • when stuff gets intense ;) his eyes would b SUPER wide and kind of innocent looking oh lord help me after i write these
  • and his lips would pinker than normal and swollen
  • he’d breathing heavy fuehwijdks
  • his hair would be scattered in all different directions
  • god he’s a sight to look at
  • he would send u funny videos of himself when he’s on tour and away from u
  • screaming lyrics in his jeep
  • dancing together in the kitchen, bedroom, stage, bus, hotel, or anywhere really at like 2 AM
  • he would be so good to you and everyone could see that
  • and he would love you so much
  • he’s just not human and i love my baby boy ok bye this was really long,, you’re welcome…

anonymous asked:

Hi! Would you mind if i'd ask you.. have you got some kind of tips about how a watermark should be to look pretty but still visible enough? I'm so afraid to put it on my drawings because it kinda ruins them xD but still is necessary... I haven't ant idea how i should "design" it.. a font, handwriting, with opacity down, place it in corners or on the lineart,, ecc(sorry for my bad english).

That’s a very valid concern.  Unfortunately, the more visible/large/annoying the signature, the more protected your art will be.  I die a little inside whenever I have to cover up something I spent hours (or even days) on.  But I’d rather have it look kind of annoying instead of having someone else take credit for it, or worse, having someone SELLING IT illegally behind my back.

Having experienced (and having watched my fellow artist friends experience) various forms of art theft, I’ve come up with a few tricks to making it difficult for my signature to be removed.  I don’t have a set, “official” watermark; I experiment and play around with different looks depending on what the picture looks like.  You can try any of these ideas and see what works for you.  ^_^


~QUICK WATERMARK TUTORIAL~


Make it legible.  Fancy fonts are pretty, but can be hard to read.  Your main goal is that EVERYONE can read it, even people whose primary language is not English or those who have a different alphabet/lettering/symbols.


Place it somewhere that cannot be cropped out, such as near the heads or towards the middle of the picture


Place your signature/watermark where will be difficult to erase or cover up, such as an area with shading, or over a pattern


The safest location is on top of a character.  It looks ugly, but at least you can’t really sell merchandise of someone else’s art if there’s a giant signature across the way.

If your picture is black and white, be careful.  Someone might take it and try to color it, then pass it off as their own work.  Put your watermark on top of the lineart to make it more difficult to steal, preferably an area with lots of lines, such as hair or clothing wrinkles.

Be especially careful with pictures that can be easily made into merchandise (pins, mugs, stickers, bags, phone cases, etc), such as the one above.  Make the signature large and have it protect all visible characters, like a big unsightly shield.  XD


DO NOT’s:   (aka, some of my old mistakes)

Do not place it close to the edges/corners where it can be cropped. 


Don’t make it too tiny, and don’t lower the layer opacity too much.

Note:  If you do not want your art reposted/uploaded onto different websites/accounts by other people, I highly recommend adding to your watermark:  “Do not edit or redistribute.”  It’s not always enough to deter some reposters, but at least sometimes fans will call them out on it and say, “Hey, this artist doesn’t allow this picture to be uploaded onto different sites, you should remove it.”

That’s all for now, I hope it helps!!!  Good luck with your artwork and thank you for your message!!!  <3

what was this even supposed to be

bashfyl  asked:

*incoherent screaming* You opened prompts! Sterek: Not yet together sterek. The idea is a bath and Stiles how did you get that there?!? Thank you.

Taking Sterek Prompts | Filling Prompts Live

———

“Are you going to get in?” Stiles asked, peeling out of his last shirt, his words a little slurry around the edges. “In a- a- a-” He paused, trying rather unsuccessfully to shake his hand free of his sleeve. He started laughing uncontrollably and collapsed to the floor to work on his shoes. “The water, are you?”

“No,” Derek groused, pointedly not looking when Stiles flopped onto his back and began to shimmy out of his soaked pants. Black slime coated almost every square inch of the floor. “This is your bath, not mine.”

“Mine,” Stiles echoed, now just lying on the floor in a puddle of black, his pale skin coated head to foot in the gunk. “This is not my house.”

“Yes,” Derek agreed, as patiently as he could, checking the water’s temperature before turning off the tap. It had to be extra hot to affect the stuff. “This is the clinic.”

Deaton had explained that even minimal contact with the ichorous substance gave a contact high. Stiles had been practically drenched in the stuff when they had killed it. Luckily it was not deadly or even toxic- which was the problem. Someone had been keeping the creature as a pet, drawing out the fluid and selling it, and it had escaped three days ago to wreak havoc.

Very, very unfortunately, Derek had drawn the short straw for ensuring Stiles got cleaned up and came down from the high safely. Isaac, Boyd, and Erica were taking care of disposal of the body while Scott and Allison swung by Allison’s house to return weapons and report to her father. Deaton had been kind enough - or perhaps had enough self preservation - to give Derek the key to the clinic so he could get Stiles washed up away from his father’s questions.

“Come on,” Derek said gently, slipping from the edge of the tub to crouch at Stiles’ side. It was, he reflected, a very good thing that werewolves were not susceptible to the substance’s effects. “You gotta get cleaned up.” The effects wouldn’t wear off until every drop of the ichor was gone.

Stiles lifted his head, looking all the way down his lean form. “Oh, no, no that’s too far,” he told Derek, head falling back with an audible clunk he was probably going to feel in a few hours. “Wow, this is the best floor ever. Do you think I could take it home with me?”

“No,” Derek said with a sigh. Looked like this was going to have to be the hard way. He shifted, kneeling beside Stiles, and grabbed at his wrists to haul him up.

Despite that they slipped and slid a bit, Derek managed to get a very naked Stiles upright and across the three feet to the tub. For a second Stiles stood very still, holding tightly onto the edge of it like he was going to resist going in. Then he tipped forward and faceplanted directly into the basin so quickly Derek had to scramble to keep him from drowning.

“Hoooooo!!!!” Stiles shouted the second his mouth was above the surface, water sluicing away the ichor clinging to his skin. “It’s hot, Derek! This is really hot, why is it so hot? Oh my god, I’m melting!” He started grabbing at the black liquid coming off his skin.

Closing his eyes, Derek counted to three. Then five. Then ten, for good measure, and when he opened them again, Stiles had fallen very, very still and was staring wide eyed into the middle distance. It was not exactly an improvement, but at least he’d stopped thrashing, slopping water and ichor all over the floor and flinging it onto the walls and- and was that- on the ceiling?

“Stiles, how did you- you know what, nevermind,” Derek grumbled, reaching for the spray nozzle.

This setup was supposed to be for cleaning dogs, but it would work just as well for ornery, tripping humans. He began to run the spray over Stiles’ hair, watching the black give way to brown. When the tub had filled completely, Derek pulled the plug and let it drain. Diluted like this with water, it wouldn’t hurt the general populace; at worst, they’d all have a really good day soon.

Stiles’ eyes slid closed, and he relaxed into the gentle touches Derek used to turn him this way and that, to get at the last of the ichor still clinging to strange places like inside of his ears and between his fingers and- well, at least Stiles was unlikely to remember any of this very well tomorrow.

By the time he had gotten the last of it, Stiles had turned to putty in his hands, making a soft, pleasant humming noise that might have been purring on a cat. Derek swallowed hard, trying to keep it together. He still needed to get Stiles someplace to wait out the high, and get this place cleaned up so no one else would be affected.

Difficult to think of anything beyond the way Stiles pressed himself into Derek’s touches. “Feels good,” Stiles murmured, unwilling or unable to keep his eyes open. “You should touch me more.”

“Tomorrow,” Derek mumbled back, prodding Stiles to his feet. The floor was still covered in ichor, so Derek just leaned over and scooped a completely unresisting Stiles into his arms. Immediately, Stiles looped his own arms around Derek’s neck and burrowed his nose against Derek’s shoulder. “If you still want me to touch you tomorrow, I will.”

“Okay,” Stiles agreed muzzily.

He wouldn’t remember. No one else had. Still…

He allowed himself a small smile, and a measure of hope. Stiles had never been one for following the rules, after all.

People like us  
are born with stardust in our bones,  
with sunsets on our lips,  
with supernovas in our chests  
     ready to explode

People like us  
are born with glittering white slates,  
with hands clean as the first snowfall,  
with smiles bright as sunlit mornings  
     just so we can stain them red

People like us  
are born with no time on our clocks   
with no gravesite marked with our names,  
with no afterlife waiting our arrival  
     timeless, deathless, endless

—  people like us: the sinners, the fallen, the ghosts, the heroes ( j.p. )
Dance with Me || Tom Holland

Relationship: Tom Holland x reader

Summary: You’re flight is delayed but fortunately you have Tom to try and entertain you.

Warnings: So much fluff you may need to sit down.

Word Count: 580 words

A/N: the song I used is called ‘The End of All Things’ by Panic! at the Disco and it is highkey my favourite song to cry to have a listen to it please!!!!!


You let out a bored sigh, your fingers tapping a random beat on your bouncing leg. Tom seemed to be perfectly entertained by something on his phone and although you tried to distract yourself with your own phone, it didn’t work there was simply nothing that could hold your attention. 

You leaned your head on Tom’s shoulder, letting out another exaggerated sigh trying to get his attention, “what is it, darling?” He asked a small smile playing on his face, “I’m booored,” you whined as he locked his phone and placed it back in his pocket. 

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Kim Minseok//At Odds

Summary: You don’t think your soulmark will complete itself on the same day that it comes to be on your skin, yet it happens - and who’s on the other end, a matching tattoo adorned on their skin? Only Kim Minseok, a man who could not be any more different to you.
Scenario: soulmate!AU
Word Count: 6,584

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nefarious ❖ chanyeol

anon requested: Heyo could I request some step brother chanyeol smut where they don’t get along and are constantly teasing each other (in a sexy way?). One day chanyeol is going through the girls Phone and finds her daddy kink bdsm Tumblr and decides to punish her ;) in turn some kinky sex with spanking and bondage. (Lol sorry this is so detailed chanyeol has been fucking me up lately)


(gif not mine, credits to the owner)

7456 words | smut, daddy kink, stepbrother-stepsister relationship, light bondage (choking, thigh riding, spanking) | velvet

✎ Nefarious: wicked, villanous, despicable or simply Park Chanyeol.


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anonymous asked:

Rfa & V's reaction to MC who likes to pet them? As in run her fingers through their hair and play with it. Like, as much as she can lol. I luff soff hair I can pet like kitties >w <

Oh my godddd I met this guy at work and I love doing this and he loves when I do this and it’s heaven
-Before after endings-
~Mod L

Yoosung
♡ The first time you did this was while he was playing LOLOL
♡ He basically melts into your arms
♡ It’s so relaxing to him
♡ He can’t even rage at the game when you do this
♡ He found a level of peace while playing he didn’t even know existed
♡ Even when he’s not playing he’ll curl up to you in hopes you play with his hair
♡ He’s just in love with you doing that
♡ Wants it 24/7

Jaehee
♡ Whenever she’s stressed she’ll run her hands through her hair
♡ It’s normally not very nice
♡ So when you start doing it she’s totally not used to it
♡ But it’s surprisingly relaxing?
♡ The first time you did it she fell asleep in your arms within a minute
♡ And every time after that
♡ You can’t do it while she’s trying to work because of that
♡ But whenever she has a second of downtime that’s all she wants

Zen
♡ He has so much hair to play with omg
♡ He’s used to kind of having to keep people off his hair
♡ Sometimes fans are weird yo
♡ So initially out of habit he kind of flinches away from it
♡ But one day when he was really sleepy he let you play with it
♡ And oh my god he loves it
♡ He can’t get enough of it
♡ Whenever you sat down he would lay down with his head in your lap so you could play with it as much as you’d like

Jumin
♡ Whenever he’s working, he’s incredibly focused
♡ So if you do it while he’s working he won’t complain, but is rather indifferent to it
♡ He knows you enjoy it so he’ll never stop you
♡ But once he’s done with work he’s all for it
♡ It’s so comforting, and takes his mind off of anything stressing him out
♡ Even when you’re out in public, even though he’s usually adverse to PDA, he feels calmer when he feels your hands run over his back
♡ He’s so found of you and your touch that he grows to love it, even when he’s working

Seven
♡  Oh
♡ He likes this
♡ He likes this a lot
♡ He basically stops functioning whenever you start playing with his hair
♡ It’s a button to shut him off
♡ You often absent-mindlessly play with his hair and don’t realize he stops all productivity
♡ Vanderwood has to yell at Seven to get him to start working again
♡ He still tries to sneak in as many pets as possible when Vanderwood isn’t around

V
♡ He’s such a sucker for physical affection
♡ He always has some kind of contact with you, weather it’s your hands linked together or his arm around you
♡ So when you started playing with his hair he absolutely adored it 
♡ He sometimes feels a bit too overbearing with the physical attention, but you doing this completely comforted him on that
♡ He loves giving you attention and loves it when you give it to him too 
♡ No matter what’s going on he feels so comforted when you runs your hand through his hair 

THEORY TIME RETURNS

i got some predictions!! woo!!!! ok here we go:

ozzie and eddie start out the episode by just having a freaking shouting match, complaining about how much they hate each other and how they wish the other one was dead probably. maybe we get an accidental admittance of like “i never wanted you to die but youve hurt me too much now and its unforgivable” bc you gotta love those spur of the moment ‘didnt mean to say that’ moments. 

so eventually after a whole bunch of shouting and pouting they finally decide to tolerate each other at the very least, since it seems like theyre in this for the long haul. they finally come to the decision that they cant get out on their own and grudgingly agree to work together to escape

eddie decides to do what he does best: be annoying. he gets the attention of the guards somehow, leading to figure A of him laughing here:

seems like hes hammin it up again, bein all dramatic as he’s so wont to do. 

but so…

im thinking, maybe he and ozzie are faking my wonderful penguins death? i mean, the guards can probably find out pretty easily that they want to freaking murder each other; it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for them to believe that eddie somehow killed oz when theyre 3 feet apart. 

and that leads to figure B:

one mr oswald cobblepot laying on the ground looking schemey or… something.

theory: ed pretends to kill oswald, gets the guards attention through being his awful over the top wonderful riddler self, and somehow manipulates them into opening the cage to check on ozzie - at which point our favorite bird probably rips their throat out or something.

so at this point ozzie’s free but you know who’s not? eddie boy of course. which means oz has to agree to let him out of his cage (and hes been doin just fine), because theyre definitely both out and about together later in the episode. so ed probably has to convince oz to open the door please. maybe he finally starts being nice to him again and promises not to try to kill him anymore. maybe theres a temporary cease fire, so they can both get out alive then kill each other on their own terms.

anyway, ozzie lets ed out and they go on a lowkey super sneaky rampage around the court of owls compound, killing whoever they find on the way (which will of course be tons of fun for the whole family). this might be where figure C comes in, but also who really knows:

then they probably get discovered and surrounded at this point, leading to….

figure D:

theyre obviously angry here, and definitely shouting at someone. whom, you might ask? no clue. my prediction is that the court finally realizes these two idiots are loose and they end up getting surrounded, leading to ozzie ranting to the entirety of the court of owls in great detail about just how hes going to make them pay. theyre probably in some amount of trouble, considering mister green flamingo man even looks pretty somber. ((note: where even is this. are they even on court territory anymore))

so how do they get out of this?? enter deus ex machina: fish mooney.

ok ok thats unlikely (but it’s my one wish that the queen returns to save both of their sorry behinds). either way, someone else probably shows up to save them (maybe ivy, maybe ozzies whole mini army, maybe jimbo and co. who knows. 

anyway, they most likely escape somehow and so begins the plot of literally every single character in gotham vs the court of owls.

also anyway, im probably completely wrong! but this is my best guess as of right now so i guess we’ll see next monday 🐧❔

I am trying to write a modern Javert, but I’ve been writing so much Jehan that their name is the first my fingers want to type when I hit a capital J. So I keep typing Jehan instead of Javert and now I cannot get the image of Jehan dressed up in the full 1830′s Inspector Javert getup out of my head. The hat is too big for them. The jacket is too big for them. They’d be flapping their arms in the sleeves and pulling Serious Faces. I can’t work like this

Call Me Mistress – Ramen (M) (Part 1)

Summary: A long-term client hires the Mistress to help celebrate his best friend’s birthday.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader, with guest appearances by Jimin and Jooheon (Monsta X)

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 10,537

Warning: Sub!Jungkook, Domme!Reader, BDSM, femdom, sexual themes, spanking, public humiliation, sexual harassment/groping, alcohol, profanity

Series: Call Me Mistress

A/N: Jungkook’s story will have multiple parts because the opportunity to share the Mistress’ business practices with new clients was too good pass up. Hope you enjoy!

Client List: Prologue | River (Namjoon) | Ramen, Pt. 1 (Jungkook) | (more forthcoming)

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Tongue Tied

Request: Requests are open!! Yay! Could I get a Bucky x Reader smut where Reader is under his desk as he does paper work?-anon

CEO!Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 1541

Warnings: Mentions of smut, non-descriptive blow job. Small mentions of being tied up. NSFW

A/N: I changed the request up a little bit, I hope it’s okay.. I’m garbage at smut, but I did my best, I promise! I’m sorry.  (Also I couldn’t think of a title..)

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I feel like Moon is revealing himself to be the Michael Jackson fanboy that he is with his Try My Luck stages, right down to the 80s blazers with upturned sleeves, the printed MJ top he wore and the black shoes with white socks combo. All this not even mentioning his actual choreography.  And goodness I am all for it.